I brought his face closed to mine and I kissed him. He was just a boy while I was an adult, but we were only a year apart. He was my little boy, my baby animal and I was his trainer. I ruined both of our lives, but we were together and that was all that mattered.

My belly kind of separated us a bit though and I laughed in between the kiss. I already had two little ones fighting for my attention. My baby was kicking fiercely making my stomach hurt.

"What's so funny?" JT asked me.

"Our little Jordan is trying to kick you off of me," I laughed. JT smiled.

"So you think you're so special then?"

"I didn't say that," I grinned. "I'm just in the middle of a love triangle."

Since I was eighteen I had gotten myself a home before I told my parents I was pregnant. They were supportive in a way, but because of them I started cutting so be glad I'd have a baby to keep me company. I just hoped the stress wouldn't pile on me…like that awful time I had when my dad was in fighting in the war. Taking care of my mother was awful…and that's when everything started.

It didn't end exactly with Paige helping me out, oh not at all. Everything hurt me and I couldn't quit, I just fooled everyone to think I did. Sean had helped me a lot, but when I stopped cutting I took up drinking.

When I was drunk I'd party real bad and I'd wake up forgetting everything. When I woke up in bed with Sean it was the last straw. In my eyes he had taken advantage of me and for all I knew he put ecstasy in my drink. He told me I wanted to do it, but I told him I was drunk.

After that incident I stopped, but when Ashley started smoking I did it too. It wasn't that it looked cool, a cigarette couldn't do that for me, it just took the pain away from me, just like cutting. I knew both of them were bad, but when I did it I concentrated on that and forgot about everything else.

Ashley had quit smoking, but I had smoked weed then. I brought it to school with me so that I'd be able to do it as soon as school was over. I had it bad and then I started doing all sorts of drugs. I won't name them though, I don't want to be judged.

I was caught at school when I was smoking a joint and I was immediately expelled. Expelled, can you believe it? Emma and Sean were caught once having sex and they were only suspended for a month, but that's what happens when you have teachers on your side. Everyone was against me, poor druggie Ellie, the drunken Eleanor Nash.

My parents were ashamed of me by then, but I didn't care. They had me put into a rehab where I talked to JT. He volunteered to talk with us and he was so surprised when he saw me. Even I wasn't surprised that I was there.

Once he had snuck in to see me after we'd been talking and flirting, I didn't even know how to until I got to that place, and then we…hooked up. That was when I got pregnant, and then I made it a priority to get out of there before anyone had found out. I mean, it was obvious that I was except that I was gaining weight, which was common after you quit smoking.

I bought my own home before I told my parents, and they had taken it pretty well. "At least you're an adult," my mother said. "And you don't like with us. Just don't count on us to baby-sit all of the time."

Then I told JT. He seemed disappointed, but he shook it off. "At least I have an excuse to have my own home," he grinned.

"That's the way to look at it!"

I ended up having a boy. He was so cute and he was quiet. He had no hair, but he had adorable blue eyes. Jordan James Nash-Yorke, just so everyone would know that he was both JT and my son.

Trust me, we were glad to claim him.