She had thought they were all asleep. With her body huddled against the wall of the bus and her forehead pressed to the cool window, she couldn't see their eyes. Her Slayer hearing detected their even breaths, tricking her into believing that she was the only one awake. They were twenty miles from Los Angeles when she heard it. A soft, husky voice near the back of the bus murmured in what could only be song. Not all asleep, after all. She sighed to herself. As long as there was no noise, she could be anywhere; she could be anyone. The noise drew her back into her own body and trapped her with her own thoughts. She recognized the soft, husky voice as Rona's. Funny that Rona should be able to sing. Willow had spent a good deal of time on the trip making sure the young woman would live at all. That's Slayer healing for you, she thought, looking down at her own hand. The power must be stretched pretty thin between the fourteen of us. It hasn't even started to heal yet. Strange. I can't feel it. She sighed again, allowing her eyes to slip closed for a mere moment before she forced them open again. As tired as she was, she would not allow herself the indulgence. She needed to focus. If she slept, there would be dreams and faces that she wasn't prepared to handle yet. She could go for a good three more days before she had to sleep. Gotta love those Slayer benefits, she thought, shifting in her seat. She winced as the sword wound that pierced her stomach was stretched taut, threatening to re-open. Or not, she amended when she could think past the present pain. In that moment, the words Rona was singing drifted to her ears, causing her to cease all movement.
"I can see clearly now; the rain is gone. I can see all obstacles in my way," the girl sang. Her husky voice carried a depth of meaning and emotion that sucker punched its way through Buffy's defenses before she even had time to raise them. "Gone are the dark skies that had me bound. It's gonna be a bright, bright, bright, bright sun-shiny day." Through Buffy's frozen state, a multitude of images shattered the peaceful oblivion of her near-catatonic state. She shivered helplessly as her mother's face passed before her. Tears bit behind her eyes, begging to be released. Buffy was a warrior, but not even she could fight back the overwhelming need to bury her face in her lover's arms and sob. She couldn't fight them back, so she let them go in silence. They slid down her cheeks in a constant torrent, like rain sliding over slick glass. She didn't make a sound as her mother's face turned into Miss Calendar's. Rona finished her song, and Buffy allowed herself a moment of relief, thinking that the girl was finished. She was wrong. Rona's torture had only just begun.
"Welcome to the planet. Welcome to existence." Her voice was growing stronger, more sure with every word. "Everyone's here. Everyone's here. Everybody's watching you now. Everybody waits for you now. What happens next? I dare you to move. I dare you to move. I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor. I dare you to move. I dare you to move like today never happened, today never happened before." Buffy couldn't stop the sobs that shook her entire frame. She tried not to cry out at the pain shoving its way through her entire system. She wanted it to end, but she knew that she deserved it. Rona must've known, too, because her voice never faltered. The images in her mind grew more vivid.
"Spike," she whispered, her fingers reaching out to trace the ghostly image that hovered before her eyes. Her sobs rose in intensity, until her grief was pouring out on an unsuspecting world. Though she saw flashes of the potentials that had died in the final battle, Spike's image never wavered. Her hand, covered in burns, pressed itself flat. She could almost feel his touch again, his cool flesh pressing against her own like glass, even as he burned.
"Welcome to the fallout. Welcome to resistance," Rona sang on, unaware of the older Slayer's pain. "The tension is here between who you are and who you could be. Between how it is and how it should be. Maybe redemption has stories to tell. Maybe forgiveness is right where you fell. Where can you run to escape from yourself? Where you gonna go? Where you gonna go? Salvation is here." Somewhere in the middle of this, the others had roused themselves. The ones who sat at the back of the bus with Rona joined in her singing. Willow heard Buffy's cries, muffled by the fist pressed to her mouth.
"Buffy?" she whispered, kneeling next to her best friend.
"Don't," Buffy said hoarsely, never looking away from the vision of Spike in front of her.
"Buffy," Willow pleaded.
"There's nothing you can say," Buffy whispered. Willow sighed and then acquiesced. Giles, however, was not content to listen to Buffy's quiet tears. He stood abruptly from the seat in front of her and moved to the back of the bus. Faith, tears in her own eyes, sensed a confrontation and stopped the bus on the side of the road. She turned the lights on so that Giles could see. Everyone who was not awake woke at the bright lights shining in their eyes. Xander groaned, threw an arm over his good eye, and tried to go back to sleep. Andrew mimicked him in the seat across the aisle. In the two seconds it took for Giles to reach Rona, the other new Slayers had stopped singing. She continued, oblivious to the tension around her. The volume on her earphones was cranked so high that an earthquake wouldn't have disturb her. Luckily, Giles could be more forceful than an earthquake when he wanted to. He snatched the headphones from her head, grabbed the CD player from her lap, and threw the device as hard as he could at the back wall of the bus. He found grim satisfaction in the crunch it made when it hit the floor. Rona looked at him for a moment, dumbfounded. He stared right back, the anger radiating from his eyes. That pissed her off.
"You know what, old man? I'm a Slayer now. I don't have to take this shit from you," she said arrogantly. She stood up, invading his space with the same intimidating spirit he had just used on her. He glared at her harder, not answering, as he allowed her to hear for the first time the sobs coming from the front of the bus. "Oh," she whispered, her anger deflating. Without a word, he turned his back on her and moved back up the aisle. Silence permeated the air like a blanket. Faith shut off the lights and continued driving. Everyone tried their hardest not to hear Buffy's cries. Suddenly, Buffy stood up.
"Stop the bus," she said quietly. Faith did so immediately.
"Buffy?" Willow questioned. Buffy picked up the knapsack that was all she had left of her possessions. She moved purposefully toward the front of the bus. She reached down and pulled the lever to open the door, then got off. Giles stood and followed her, as did everyone else. "Buffy?" Willow asked again. Buffy turned to face them. "What are you doing?"
"I'm going home," she said, her voice full of a certainty that Willow only heard when she was fully in Slayer mode and prepared to face whatever was threatening her world. Willow recognized it for what it was, and it frightened her.
"What do you mean?" Dawn asked, fear gripping her.
"I mean I can't do this. I'm going home," Buffy repeated.
"You can't do what?" Kennedy asked confused. Buffy just looked at her, wondering why on earth the girl thought she had a say in this conversation.
"You can't do what?" Willow repeated, seeing that Buffy was not going to allow Kennedy any say in this matter.
"I can't sit here on this bus surrounded by all of you pretending like I'm starting on a new page of my life. I can't," she said, shaking her head.
"I don't understand," Dawn said, her eyebrows pulled together.
"Big surprise," Buffy muttered. "You're all deluded," she said allowed.
"Deluded?" Giles asked. She nodded.
"I may be forced to start a new page of my life, but I'm not doing it with any of you," she said. Her mind was clearly made up.
"Why?" Xander asked.
"How do I hate all of you right now? Let me count the ways," she hissed. They backed up a step, surprised at her animosity. "Giles, Wood, you both tried to kill Spike. Dawn, I saved your life, even though you weren't real. I let you stay with me even though you made my life a living hell just so you could kick me out of my own house for doing my job. Willow, Xander, you let her. Faith, Spike stood up for me, and you tried to beat the hell out of him. Some friends I have," she snorted, leaving them speechless as she turned around and started to walk.
"Buffy, wait!" Kennedy called. Willow grabbed her girlfriend's shoulder as she saw Buffy's shoulders tighten in preparation.
"Don't," Willow said softly. Kennedy looked at her, confused. "Let her go."
"Why?" Kennedy asked.
"She just lost the person she loved the most in the world and the only one she trusted anymore. She needs to grieve before she can heal," Willow said wisely.
"It isn't about that, Willow," Buffy tossed over her shoulder. "Just because you tried to destroy the world when you lost Tara doesn't mean I'm going to follow in your footsteps. I'm in the business of stopping apocalypses, not causing them," she said, almost wishing Willow would rise to the bait so that she would have something to lash out at. Willow remained steadfast, though.
"We get that you loved him. You don't have to be a bitch," Rona spat. Buffy almost smiled. Slowly, she turned to regard the new Slayer.
"Say that to my face," she hissed.
"Quit being a bitch," Rona said, slowly and clearly. Buffy's eyes glinted in the moonlight. She moved faster than any of them thought possible. In the blink of an eye, Buffy had Rona pinned against the side of the bus by the neck.
"It's an honor, Rona, really," Buffy said, smiling grimly. "Spike liked it when I was a bitch. It's why he fell in love with me in the first place." The grim smile fell away, and her face hardened. The others drew away fearfully.
"Faith!" Giles said. Faith shook her head.
"This is something Rona needs to know," she said quietly. Giles looked at her for a moment. "Being a Slayer doesn't make you a god." He turned back to the scene before him, watching Rona gasp for air as the girl he loved like a daughter held Rona's life in her hands. Suddenly, Buffy released her grip. Rona fell to the ground, choking. Kennedy ran to her side. Buffy towered over them, even with her diminutive stature.
"Lesson the last. I gave you your power. I made you what you are. And I will take every single last one of you out if I have to," she threatened in an even tone that carried more weight that any shout could have. "Do not ever question my authority, my judgment, my decisions, or my words. You may be Chosen, but I am the Chosen One. I am not the first of our kind, but I'm the best." She delivered a powerful roundhouse kick to Kennedy's jaw, sending her spinning to the dust for added measure. "I am the Slayer." Her power blazed around her, her hidden strength shining in the force of her stance and the flame in her eyes. She took one last look around, lifted her chin, re-shouldered her knapsack, and then walked away in the night. The shadows obscured her from their eyes in the way that they always would because she was the Slayer and the others were not. They watched her for as long as they could see her, none of them saying a word.
"Good riddance," Rona muttered. Faith moved in just as fast as Buffy had earlier to deliver a swift kick to Rona's chin in the exact place that Buffy had kicked Kennedy only moments before.
"You will not disrespect Buffy in front of me. She's been through more than you can ever imagine," Faith growled. Rona sneered up at Faith.
"Why? Because a vampire died? Not like she's never seen that before," Rona said dismissively, rolling her eyes.
"No," Faith said, her eyes following Buffy's form, picking her out of the shadows where the others could not. "Because the man she loved died." She turned back to look at Rona. "Besides, if it wasn't for her, you wouldn't be alive right now."
"How do you figure?" Rona asked.
"She died to save the world. Twice," Xander said, steel in his voice.
"She killed the man she loved to save the world," Willow added.
"She ruined her high school graduation and blew up her school to save the world," Dawn told her.
"She nearly killed her best friend to save the world," Giles said.
"She let the man she loved die to save the world just yesterday," Faith said, looking down at Rona. "You owe her more than just respect. You owe her your life. If I hear so much as half of a negative word come out of your mouth again regarding Buffy Summers, I won't hesitate to kill you." She turned on her heel and climbed on the bus, sitting at the back so that someone else could take a turn driving. One by one they all followed her back. Giles pulled the bus over again at a motel on the city limits, letting them get a much-needed chance at rest for the first time in ages. He had a feeling he knew exactly where his Slayer was going to go, and he knew that he had to give her time to do what she needed to do before everyone was there to begin harassing her again. He owed her at least that much. If he had known what she was going to say, though, he might have been less than willing to keep the others away. Or perhaps not. One could never tell what Rupert Giles was really thinking.