Hi there everyone! Sorry it's taken so long to update, but there was the holiday, then I had extra work shifts so I really had no time to write, it's been driving me nuts!!! So I apologize ten fold, but I'm sure you all forgive me (right?). So many reviews! Near the 800 mark now, I really can't believe it! Thank you thank you thank you! You shall all have to wait to see what they have decided of Kai, it's be at the end of the trial, which will dominate the next couple of chapters! The holiday was good, sunny and rainy and so forth, but fun! Aren't surprises fun.......... I'm really glad I managed to convince a mum that is good! All that from a poem eh? Go me! Though being called amazing may be an over exaggeration! As was wonderful author, great, I'm blushing now!!! Geez, I really am elated she thought that, and that you like what I right so much too, there's no amount of thank you's that can be said to the people that review my story. The last poem was about cutting, the image in my head when I wrote it was about feeling neglected, alone, and depressed. The person keeps looking at themselves inside and outside, and at one point breaks a mirror because they hate what they see. They cut themselves with the remains to show they can bleed, they are real, they are not dead.Will Kai find out in time? You will have to wait and see............
I write angst and stuff too, and I'm generally a happy person, so I understand you're the same! I love the way you think about poems! I agree they are a mirror to a soul; a poem is made by the feeling put into it. I have to share the poems I write, they are there for others to see, how can I keep them to myself? It would be wrong! You don't confuse me with the babbling, I'm a babbler too! (Can you tell from these bits?)
Right, onwards with the trial!!
Kai didn't take long to change, replacing the dual t-shirt and the trousers with the Linkin Park T-shirt and the ripped jeans. It felt blissfully comfortable to be in new things that weren't full of grime and muck from training in bad conditions. It felt good he had other things then his 'uniform' to wear, however much he needed that set of clothes. He sighed at the thought of the police coming back round, wishing there was a nice hole to just engulf him right there and now. But that would be too easy, the fool's way out, yet sometimes people needed to be the fool. How else could they appreciate the hard work and decisions that also played in their lives?
He shook his head; he really did have some strange thoughts sometimes. Figuring he had some time left before the police turned up he picked up his notebook and a pen and walked outside to the tree he had sat in before. It was large, shady, and comfortable, and most of all, peaceful. He looked at the sky, expecting to see the storm he felt should be there, only to be jeered at by a rich blue sky with a few puffy clouds floating in the distance. He sneered back at the sky before climbing up to his spot in the tree. Sitting down, he relished the feeling of the slight breeze at the height, the roughness of the bark at his back. It was good to be alive sometimes. Smiling at the thought that seemed to pop in his head now and again, he opened his notebook at a new page and started to create.
Losing himself in the language he'd created he didn't hear his name being called out. It took Max and Tyson to throw things at the tree before he looked up from the pages to see what was going on.
When he finally looked at his two team-mates Tyson was attempting to climb the tree, not being helped by a laughing Max.
Tyson's goofy grin came into view as he hung on to the branch for what seemed dear life.
"Dude! We've been calling for ages! The police are here!" and with that sentence ended, he fell to the floor. From his crumpled heap on the grassy ground, he looked on bitterly as Kai leaped down to land on his feet, Max at the sidelines couldn't stop laughing.
Kai walked on without them, they didn't seem to see how serious this was, how much he wanted to turn around and run. He couldn't run though, not anymore. He took a deep breath before walking into the house. Seated in the lounge were Elvira and Riyo. Kai guessed they were in charge of this part of the case. No one else was present in the room, but after a quick glance around he noticed shadows and eyes behind ajar doors. He smirked; did they really think he wouldn't notice? He was trained for this.
Training, perfect, this was all just another training session. He put his mind into battle mode and suddenly everything was clear.
He sat carefully in an empty armchair opposite the two casually dressed investigators.
Elvira spoke first, Riyo nodded to most things she said. "How are you today Kai?"
"Fine". He wasn't going to give them anymore then they needed, he couldn't trust them.
"Good, good, we came here for two reasons; the first is to thank you for writing in the book for us, it will be very useful evidence. The second reason is to go through what will happen tomorrow, ok?"
"Don't speak to me like I'm fragile or a child, I understand" replied Kai, battle mode was handy for some situations, but tended to make him abrupt and seemingly rude. He shrugged off the thought; it was tough shit what they thought about him.
Elvira visibly flinched and Riyo looked up at him with a sudden interested expression. "Sorry Kai, it wasn't intended. We know you are not fragile, not to survive what you have been through." She changed the subject fast, "now, tomorrow the trial starts at 10.30 am. We all need to be there and ready at ten to make sure everything is ready. We will be called in and you will be shown to sit as a witness and a prosecutor. Voltaire will initially be a defendant, but we will see how that goes. We will start by listing the alleged crimes and then by handing out the evidence. Voltaire's team will then provide evidence to prove us wrong. We will then both move onto witnesses. You will be called up by both teams of lawyers, ours and theirs, and though it's hard, the more you say the better it will be for your case."
She took a deep breath and made sure Kai was up to date so far. He nodded with a fraction of movement from his head.
"Right, we have your written account of what happened, as well as evidence form Russia that has been kindly provided from the Russian authority. We also have your medical records and the photos of your scars. Voltaire will also be questioned in the stand."
She stopped to lean forward slightly, an apologetic look on her face. "They will ask about the rape Kai, even though Boris Balkov is not on trial as he has disappeared. Because Voltaire was your guardian, and fully aware of what was done to you, then he will be punished if found guilty as he assisted in the process. How do you feel about talking to strangers about the rape?"
"I can handle it" he said, glaring at her. He knew tomorrow would be difficult, she didn't need to spell it out for him.
"Yes, of course you can". There was the child thing again he thought darkly. You will meet your lawyers tomorrow Kai, before the trial, we couldn't do so sooner due to the speed of the preparation for this trial."
Kai cut off what she was saying with a wave of his hand. "You've read the book right? You know I murdered people, how will that go down?"
"I have read the book yes, and I know you were under the influence of drugs at one time, and the other was an accident, you didn't do anything to hurt those people from your own free will."
"Will they see it that way? How can they when I don't? What about manslaughter?"
Elvira looked shocked and Riyo continued to look at him as if for the first time. "They wont do you for manslaughter Kai just because you feel guilty! What you did wasn't your fault, and accidents happen. They had a weapon and you triggered it by accident, nothing more. It was bound to happen. You have to think positively about tomorrow."
Kai raised an eyebrow at the idea. He expected tomorrow to destroy him; nothing would change that right now. She interrupted his thoughts as she continued to talk.
"The trial is jury decided, and they have already been shown the evidence, including what you wrote." Kai nodded.
"I think that's all we have to say, apart from good luck for tomorrow, we will see you there."
Kai stood and nodded, turning to walk away.
"Kai? What's that?" asked Elvira, pointing to his notebook tucked under his arm.
"What does it look like? A brick?"
"Can I see it?"
Kai just walked out laughing.
He stopped laughing when he was out of hearing range. He really didn't feel it. He wandered to the dojo, placing the book carefully in his bag. He decided to find the others, maybe he needed company right now. He found them in the garden, seated near the pond on the wooden walkway.
He sat down with them, glancing up at the sky again. It really should be thick with black clouds, yet the sunshine mocked him.
"Is it over?" asked Mariah, leaning against Ray.
Kai nodded in reply, hugging his knees to his chest he hung his head. That was only the first step, tomorrow was going to be much, much worse. He wasn't even bothered that the others were there to see him like this, he was beyond caring. Then he noticed it. The lack of chatter, laughs and jokes were absent in the group. Was it because of the trial? Kai couldn't be sure.
He shuddered as his thoughts wandered to the rape. It wasn't just the once though, how could he stand there and tell people how he was used, a toy, a slave? How he was defiled as punishment because one man was sick and twisted and his only family had let them, given them permission! Encouraged it! It wasn't till a hand was placed on his shoulder he realised he was trembling with anger.
"Kai?" he lifted his head to look in the pale eyes of Tadashi. Something hidden in them shifted, a glimpse of her thoughts. But it was quickly hidden.
"I'm ok" he muttered, though he could tell they didn't believe him. "What about you lot?"
Suddenly faces were turned away from him, so they were hiding something.
He stood up, "it's ok, I understand, I'm going to do something to keep my mind off it."
He walked away from them, he didn't really understand, they were hiding something and they weren't going to tell him. Was it about the trial, if it was he would find out tomorrow. He really wished it was something that wasn't serious, but the fact they were hiding something from him chipped away at the trust he had with them.
He stood in a different part of the garden. One thing would help him now, clear his mind and focus his thoughts. He began to move in a pattern, limbs flowing with the rest of his body as he seemed to dance and fight at the same time. The movements became stronger, more precise, his eyes closed, sweat beading his forehead. He had not done this properly for so long. A mix between tai chi and other martial arts formed and fused to create the abbey's own kind, one that took everything the person had to make it work properly. Anyone watching would find it an impressive site, anyone who knew it would feel nothing but pity. Not done properly would cause punishment from the trainer. Even if the trainer wasn't present, the memory of the punishment was enough to make you strive for perfection in the sequences.
Complete perfection.
War paint
Shadows cast pool around my feet
Rising they feel as thick as water
They hold me tight in a cold embrace
I submit, I'm no longer a fighter
I challenged life again and again
I didn't see the price was too high
Till one day I stopped and looked around
Broken land was left to die
For the chaos I caused around me
For the lives I had torn apart
What started out as justice
Had become nothing but a blood bath
Now I stand bound and naked
Before a trial of those I hurt
My wings clipped, my soul bare
As they pass on my sentence with manners curt
No chance to escape, no where to run
My own sword hung to point at my back
As I fall to my knees and acknowledge
The sentence they pass, my future turns black
I looked deep into my reasons
To show there was no beast inside
The things I did were not mindless
My reactions were justified
My explanations fall on deaf ears
They are done with me, I'm no more
See in contempt, they think me broken
As if the cut of their words left me raw
They think I am done, the battle over
Alone in the dark for my nemesis
In the shadows I don my war paint
The fight calls for me, I wont resist