"Buffy?" he gasped.
"Surprised to see me?" she asked, her voice toneless. She did not meet his eyes.
"I am," he admitted.
"Should I go?" she asked. He shook his head. He could tell something was wrong with her just by looking at her.
"Is there...?" he began.
"He's dead," she cut him off sharply. He fell silent. "Spike's dead."
"I'm sorry," he said. It was inadequate. She shrugged, and he felt himself go cold. "Buffy?"
"I have a plan," she said. He waited for her to continue. "Sunnydale doesn't exist anymore. It's a scar on the face of California: a crater. There are maybe twenty of us left. They'll be here soon. I needed to come first. To prepare you. I'm going to the ocean, and I'm taking everything I need." Her tonelessness was grating on his nerves, setting warnings off with bells and clangs.
"Buffy," he said sharply, cutting her off. She looked up for the first time, and he nearly lost his nonexistent breath. He wondered if this was what Willow saw the first time she looked at Buffy after Buffy came back to life. She had cried so much that her tears had turned to blood, streaking down her face in crimson trails of remembered dreams that had died before they were fulfilled. Her eyes were shattered mirrors. Where sparkling emeralds used to shine, now they refracted the light in broken prisms to allow him a glimpse of some of the pain she was harboring.
"So tell me something, Angel. Does hell hurt? Or have I died, and I'm already there?" He moved toward her, and she took a step back in some bizarre parody of dancing. Her eyes roamed vaguely to settle on the floor again, and she continued speaking as though she'd never looked up. "I'm taking his flask of whiskey, one of his shirts, a lighter. Everything I need to see how his last moments felt. Maybe this time I'll actually feel the fire when it burns. I just came to say goodbye." She looked up again, met his eyes, held his gaze for a long moment, then spun on her heel and left. Angel sank into a chair as soon as he could see her no longer. His knees refused to support him.
"I can feel how badly you want to follow her," Cordelia said from his side. He didn't look up.
"She saved me when I wanted to die," he reminded her, looking after the direction Buffy had gone.
"You were being driven mad. She is past the point of madness. She can't grasp anything but death now. And if you save her? She thinks this is hell, Angel. What fate would you be resigning her to? She's done her duty more than any Slayer ever has before her or any Slayer ever will after. She's a legend in her time. They're reserving a place for her among the great immortals. It's time for you to let her go. You can't help her now," she said softly.
"Did she love him?" he asked, looking down at his hands.
"No more than she loved you," Cordelia said gently, placing her hand lightly on his forearm in a gesture of comfort.
"And Spike?" he asked.
"Gave up immortality and wickedness to bask in the light of her love," she told him.
"If she dies?" he pondered aloud.
"He was redeemed," Cordelia said quietly. He turned his head sharply to look at her, but she was no longer there. She reappeared only when he turned away. "I do not make these decisions, Angel."
"Why?" he ground out. "I have suffered with a soul for longer than he has. I died, did I not?" he asked. She smiled gently.
"Your soul was forced upon you twice," she reminded him. "Spike sought a soul of his own free will. You died because you turned evil and the Slayer had to kill you. He died to save the world. He gave up his life and the only true love he had ever known. I do not think you can compare the circumstances, Angel."
"So the Powers that Be think he was better than me?" Angel asked, anger igniting his eyes.
"No," she said simply.
"Then why is he granted redemption?" Angel roared.
"His love was selfless. And may I remind you that you, too, will be given a second chance? He attained his greatest desire. You will achieve yours. His was simply a little more creative than yours. You wish to have a second chance at life. Spike knew that over a hundred years of existence was more than enough for one man. He wanted something more. He wanted to escape the hell he was damned to the day he became a demon," she said.
"And I don't?" he asked, though his voice was calmer.
"Granting your wish of life will allow you a second chance at the heaven you were denied when you accepted the bite of a vampire," Cordelia told him. He nodded, somewhat mollified.
"Will I get to be with Buffy?" he asked quietly.
"Is she the one you want to be with?" Cordelia bit out. "Do you really believe that Buffy Summers is your soul mate?" His gaze stole toward the exit Buffy had taken, forever walking out of the life that he had.
"No," he said quietly.
"It's just as well," Cordelia said, her voice gentle again when she was reassured of his love for her. "She's going to Spike." Angel nodded, sighing.
"I just don't understand why she wants to die," he said, shaking his head. "I mean, she's lost people she loves before."
"Maybe it was just one too many," Cordelia suggested. "Or maybe it was the fact that Spike was supposed to be the one person who would never leave her. She expected to be the one to die first in that relationship. Or maybe, she's just finally too tired to face another day. We'll never know. As soon as it's done, I'll show you their stars," Cordelia promised. He nodded.
"I'd like to think she's watching over me," he said.
"She will be," Cordelia told him. "It's her task now. She gets all the benefits of protecting the innocents without any of the battles. Spike, on the other hand," she laughed. "I doubt he'll be content to stay up there and watch. He's a meddler. He's probably going to get in plenty of trouble for sticking his nose where it doesn't belong." She snorted happily. Angel grinned in spite of himself.
"Yeah. Knowing Spike, he can't even be in heaven without causing trouble," Angel said ruefully. They laughed together lightly.
"May they rest in peace," Cordelia said quietly.
"It's done?" he asked, looking up at the ceiling.
"Nearly time," she said. He nodded. "You want to go outside and watch it happen?"
"Will it be exciting?" he asked.
"Magical," she promised.
"Yeah," he said. "I want to see it." She took his hand and led him toward the door. He couldn't see her, but he could feel her presence. "It won't be much longer, will it?" he asked. She looked back at him, knowing that he wasn't talking about Buffy and Spike anymore.
"No, baby. Not much longer," she whispered. He nodded. They walked out together to stand on the balcony and look up at the night sky. "Ready?" she asked. He nodded. He felt it first. It was a buzzing in his fingertips that slowly spread to encompass his entire body.
"What is that?" he murmured.
"A sign that the universe is about to change," she answered. "The others are here. Good. They'll get a chance to see it, too." She reached down a hand and stopped Giles, Willow, Wood, Xander, Andrew, and the Slayers from taking another step. Gently, she guided their faces toward the heavens.
"Do you guys feel that?" Willow whispered.
"What is it?" Rona demanded, uncomfortable with the sensation.
"It's... higher. Not of our world," Willow answered, shifting slightly and calling on her magic to define for her what her other senses could not distinguish. Cordelia gently nudged Willow's magic back into her body. Willow gasped. "Cordy?" she whispered.
"What?" Xander demanded, thinking he heard Willow say his ex-girlfriend's name.
"Nothing," she said hastily, snapping her mouth shut. She could almost feel Cordelia's laughter. It was different, not harsh and bitter but soft and gentle. The ex-cheerleader had grown up. And she had ascended. A small smile tugged at Willow's mouth. Cordelia smiled back softly, then led Willow's face upwards. The others looked up, too, wondering what the witch was seeing. "I see you," Willow whispered.
"I know," Cordelia answered from her spot at Angel side. "Now look where I want you to. You'll know what you're looking for when you see it," she assured Willow. Willow's gaze fixed unblinkingly on the sky.
"Willow?" Xander questioned.
"Wait," Willow whispered, pointing up. Xander continued watching, confused. A moment of complete and utter stillness stole over the earth like a blanket. Then, a boom echoed from overhead so loudly that they could not hear their own gasps as the stars were pushed aside to create a blank, black emptiness in the sky. And then they felt it. A breeze picked up, carrying on its wings the faintest shimmer of silver. The light grew brighter as it approached where they stood frozen in the night. Gently, the wind circled them as the silver presence slid around them familiarly. The wind drew back, then blew straight at them, sending the shimmer directly through their bodies. There was a collective gasp as they all tried to grasp this new sensation they were introduced to.
"Buffy?" Willow whispered hoarsely. She felt the strangest things: peace, warmth, love. And then came an indefinable knowledge that Willow did not possess of everything that was to come. "Oh, Buffy," she breathed. If she searched her entire life, she knew that would never again feel anything so absolutely... certain. She exhaled, and the shimmer passed, leaving her with a sense of completeness, but also a sense of deep longing.
"Your day will come," came a whisper on the breeze, "and you will join me in the stars." Willow felt tears burning in her eyes. She let them go and nodded. Buffy's shimmer hand brushed her cheek. She held a minute longer, then she drew away. Her wind spun her up, around, and through Angel. Finally, it released her with an upward thrust into the welcoming arms of the night. Willow couldn't tear her eyes away from Buffy's final flight. Then, another presence materialized in the night. Buffy flew toward it.
"Who...?" Giles and Xander began.
"Spike," Willow and Faith answered without looking away. The two shimmers embraced like long lost lovers, and Willow felt a trill of happiness for her friend. Suddenly, other shimmers appeared around the two.
"Chloe," Rona choked out.
"Molly," Amanda said, pointing.
"Eve," said Shannon, trying not to cry.
"Annabelle," Kennedy whispered, looking at the face of the potential that never got to be a Slayer.
"Anya," Xander breathed shakily.
"Tara," Willow said, breaking into tears.
"Joyce," Giles marveled, clearly outlining his Slayer's mother's face.
"Quite the reunion," Andrew said, awe in his voice. Beside him, Dawn was crying.
"That's everyone I love up there," she said.
"You'll go there someday, too," Giles told her without looking away from the sky. "Someday," he repeated. The shimmers that were Buffy and Spike shot up and into the blank space in the sky. The others watched, amazed, as they began to look like themselves again. The shimmer faded to the outsides of their bodies until all anyone could see was Buffy and Spike smiling down on them. Spike wrapped his arms around Buffy's waist. Buffy settled one hand on top of Spike's and curled the other back around Spike's neck. The faces of Joyce, Anya, and Tara glowed around them, looking at the two lovers. The potentials and Slayers settled in their own patch of sky not far away. Suddenly, the silver around all their images began to glow so brightly that their forms were blocked out, and the others had to hide their eyes. When they could see again, they looked up to find that the silver had gathered into tiny dots of stars, forever outlining the shapes of their family and friends in the night sky. The silence stretched for eternity around them.
"She's gone," Giles said finally, closing his eyes against the tears. They came anyway. Faith settled a hand on his shoulder.
"It was time," she told him. She looked back up at the sky with a slight smile on her face. "I always knew you'd go out with a bang, B."