Guessing Greg's great accident
Summary: Greg comes in looking a bit worse for wear and won't tell them what he's been up to. So a round of crazy guessing from the CSIs ensues. One-shot. (please R&R)
Note: I will get back to updating my 'stirring up more than trouble' honest, but I had to write this while I thought of it. You see there was this girl at school who I know but don't talk to who came in on crutches and I couldn't stop wondering what she did. So I wrote this little one shot.
"Greg where have...whoa man what happened to you?" Nick chortled at the sight of the annoying lab rat crawling in on crutches and displaying a good many visible bruises.
"Yeah man, you don't look so good." Warrick added.
"Well you know, thanks for telling me 'cause I really hadn't noticed." A frustrated Greg announced.
"Greg what the hell happened to you?" Nick asked again, more serious this time.
"Oh, it was just a little accident." Greg stated unconvincingly.
"If that was an accident I like to see intentional." Warrick said causing Nick to laugh again at Greg. Nick struggled to contain his laughter and was not helped by the fact that at that moment Greg was trying to turn his computer on. He couldn't bend down far enough. Eventually he managed to reach the button only then to bring his arm back up right into the edge of the desk and hitting his funny bone.
"It's never funny when that happens." Warrick said interpreting what Greg had done from his reaction.
Nick however couldn't help himself from laughing at the lab rat who was practically dancing around the lab from the effect of it. "I don't know, it looks pretty funny from here."
Greg was quick to recover himself. "Anyway what brings you to my lab? Or was there a memo sent round to inform you that I would be coming in, in a state and you couldn't resist making fun of me."
"No memo, we really didn't know you would come in like this, shame, we could have had the whole lab here. We are here to give you some work, some test samples to run for our case, if you could." Nick said and pointed to the evidence waiting to be tested on the table.
"Now if you would just tell us what happened we might stop laughing at you." Warrick said sensibly.
"Why do you want to know so bad?" Greg choosing to answer their question with a question. Then a wicked and tormenting smile appeared on his face "I could just leave you to guess."
"Ok, but will you please do our samples? From what I hear your not being here has made a pile up of evidence for you."
"Fine. I was only just over half an hour late." Greg whined as he began attempting to work.
"Well Nick what do you think our Greg's been up to in order to get like that?" Warrick asked.
"Well it could have been a hot passionate ..." Nick began then on seeing Greg again continued. "Nah it's Greg that would never happen."
Warrick joined in. "He could have been having a wrestling match...but once again it's Greg we are talking about here."
Greg clearly was not amused and merely continued struggling to move around the lab and process the evidence. "You know you could help here?"
"You could just tell us what happened to you?" Nick countered.
Greg gave a grimace as if he was about to tell them something he would regret, and said "I sort of...", when the lab was invaded by a brunette who interrupted whatever he was going to say.
Sara entered the lab and immediately asked what was on her mind from her overhearing "What happened to who..." then on seeing Greg she took on a shocked expression and exclaimed. "Oh god Greg, what have you been up to?"
"Oh nothing really, it was just an accident." Greg said.
Instead of actual greetings the two male CSIs simply continued with their mockery. "Yeah he wants us to guess what happened to him. So do you have any suggestions?" Nick asked.
"Never mind them, so besides from my charming personality what brings such a beautiful woman here?" Greg cheesily flirted with her. She sighed a laugh at his over used desperate act.
"Well I have a few samples I need you to run." Sara said, then curiosity got the better of her. "So...er...how did you get like this?"
"Oh it really doesn't matter." Greg said plainly.
"Ok fine I'll guess too...erm...was it some little fight?" Sara inquired, as she took a seat while she waited.
"Oh no we already guessed on a wrestling match, but obviously no luck." Nick added enjoying this far too much.
"Nick also said it could have been a night of passion, but again we doubt it."
"No, nothing like that and I'm trying to work." Greg getting tired of this constant juggling with the crutches and the evidence.
"Well that's a first, Greg doing work." Came a loud female voice causing all eyes to turn and see her entrance.
"Hi Cath." Everyone chorused at her.
"So what cliff did you jump off?" Catherine asked on seeing the invalided Greg.
"I would have never thought of his jumping off a cliff." Nick teased. "Perhaps he tried to recreate that myth of a suicide. You know the one where he wants to make sure he will die so he sets himself alight, takes an overdose, hangs himself by jumping off the cliff and shoots himself."
"Yeah but then he would be dead and thought he looks it, he is still moving." Catherine said still surveying Greg.
"Well actually the way it goes is the guy jumps and the shot cuts the rope. He then falls to the sea where the fire is put out. He swallows enough sea water to throw up the pills and lives. Well that is until he gets to the hospital where he dies of hypothermia, but anyway."
"Ok that was the most stupid story I have ever heard." Sara pointed out.
"I definitely didn't try to do anything like that." Greg said as he was still running around the lab.
"Grissom didn't have you re-creating any crime scenes with him because I bet he would have no objections to picking you for something like that?" Warrick asked.
"No." Greg said.
"Well is it a sports injury?" Catherine said getting even more clueless with every wrong guess.
"Greg and sports? Are you mad?" Sara chortled.
"Does that really look like a sports injury?" Nick asked with a voice heavy in sarcasm. Then they all looked once again at the figure who was hobbling to the table to put down some evidence.
"Well it was worth a shot." Catherine huffed then remembering her reasons for entering Greg's domain said. "Greg I need you to get these results done for me."
I'm a bit busy here and with everyone else's stuff and instead of helping they keep laughing at me." Greg said with a slightly miffed glance at Nick.
"Was it a surfing injury?" Sara thought out loud. This received a few head nods as they remembered that Greg surfed.
Greg merely answered a tired. "No."
This little comment started another round of guesses from the CSIs who prided themselves on figuring things out and therefore enjoyed the challenge before them.
"Did you fall down the stairs?" Catherine asked seriously.
"Did you go up a down escalator and fall?" Warrick said beginning to joke again.
"Were you being chased by security?" Nick added to Warrick's suggestion.
An insurance scam gone wrong?" Sara said joining in the fun.
"No, no, no and no. You all have far too active imaginations." Greg sighed.
"You didn't join some crazy club who desert surfs did you because with everything we've seen I wouldn't be surprised?" Sara, putting a twist on her old idea, asked.
"No, but that sounds like fun." Greg said.
"Ok did you do some silly game that was only for children and only now find out why that is? You know like twister, hopscotch or jump rope." Catherine inputted.
"You don't have a another job where you dance on tables for a living, do you?" Warrick laughed as he asked this.
"Ok now I know this is not working if you're talking about dancing on tables for a living." Grissom stated as he walked in to find most of his night staff arranged in Greg's lab.
Nick curiously said. "Glass really doesn't make for good sound proof walls does it? Well the way the doors open and people keep sneaking up on us it doesn't."
"No Nick, I guess it doesn't but you shouldn't need to be sound proof if you don't talk about table dancing."
Greg turned to greet the supervisor expecting him to want Greg to work on something. However when he turned Grissom observed Greg's many marks and asked quite calmly. "What have you done Greg?"
"Oh it really doesn't matter." Greg said once again dismissing the topic.
"Yes it does." Catherine who was just dying to know by now had to say.
Sara gave it one last guess. "Was it some older woman you tried to flirt with? You always did like older women."
Greg gave her a scowl.
"Oh and you're one to talk Sara, everyone knows you go for older guys." Nick teased.
It was Sara's turn to scowl and went red as fast as a traffic light especially since the man Nick was referring to was right there in the room. Grissom however brushed aside Nick's comment for some friendly banter.
"So, my staff has been in here trying to guess what Greg did to get like this all shift." Grissom said quite sternly. Then surprisingly he turned to Greg and asked "Greg I know you have your nephew staying with you because you asked for tomorrow off. So what toy was it, the fire truck?"
A shocked Greg asked, "How did you know?"
"It is a common household accident. The toys are spread across the floor where a person is not used to them. They fall over them tend to sprain their knee or something similar and come out looking like they have been in a fight." Grissom explained. "One question why not just tell them?"
"Obviously because they would laugh at me." Greg said.
The rest of the room however were a bit stunned at Grissom's figuring it out in one guess.
Then Grissom asked quickly to Greg. "How long have they been in here trying to figure this out?"
FIN