SOLOMON Fanfiction University

By RobinxAmon

Disclaimer - Witch Hunter Robin belongs to Sunrise and Bandai, as do Robin, Amon, et. al. The only things I really own are Jess, Kevin, Karen, and the plot. (And some of the random students) SFU is based off of the Official Fanfiction University of Middle-Earth by Miss Cam, who has graciously given me her permission to use the idea.

Prologue - The Dangers of Writing Fanfiction

Karen Davis had just gotten home from a long day at work and school. She went into her kitchen to make herself a light snack, thinking that maybe she could blow off some steam by writing. She got her laptop and booted it up. She was about to start writing the newest chapter of her Amon/Sakaki slash fic when there was a knock at the door. A loud, rather forceful knock that sounded like it should be followed by a voice shouting, "Open up! Police!"

Somewhat nervously, she stood, glanced longingly at her screen, and headed for the door. Dammit,she thought. I was just getting to the juicy part. She opened the door and was quite surprised by what-rather who-she saw standing on the other side. She didn't know these people.

The one standing in front was short with flaming red hair and green eyes that seemed to be glittering evilly. She wore a black STN-J overcoat, a Witch Hunter Robin T-shirt, black jeans, and a pair of flaming Converse sneakers. An orbo pendent topped off the ensemble. She stood with her hands in her pockets, looking rather smug somehow.

The guy standing behind her was tall, dark, and very handsome. He had short, blue-black hair. Even turned away from her as he was, she could see the slight slant of his eyes, which made it obvious that he was Japanese (and Karen lusted after hawt Japanese men. She tried not to drool as the image of Amon came unbidden into her mind). He looked kind of like he came from the Matrix. He too was wearing a black STN-J overcoat. He was also wearing a Chinese silk shirt, slacks, and boots with many buckles that made him look kind of Gothy. (And she loved gothy looking guys). He regarded her disdainfully before the red- head spoke.

"Are you Karen?" she asked. The befuddled fangirl nodded slowly. The red-head smiled in a way that made Karen want to go hide. "Good. We got the right place this time," she said, nudging the guy in the ribs.

"It wasn't my fault that Sakaki's directions were confusing," he muttered. The red-head pretended not to hear him.

"You're to come with us," she said.

Karen stared. She couldn't believe it. Who the hell did these people think they were? They looked like they had just come from cosplaying at some anime convention. She looked up at the guy, who was considerably taller than his companion. If he had longer hair, she would be convinced that he was cosplaying as Amon. She fought the temptation to drool.

"Um. What?" she asked, somewhat confused.

The guy grinned evilly. "This isn't working, Jess," he said, pulling something from his coat. The last thing Karen remembered was a sharp, stabbing pain in her arm.

---

Karen awoke in the plush, leather backseat of some kind of vehicle. She could see the red- head, whom the guy had called 'Jess' sitting in the front seat, polishing her gun. Was it just her, or was that an orbo gun?

"Ow," she said as she sat up. Jess looked back at her.

"Looks like she's awake," she said to her companion. "Sorry about that," she said. "Kevin is a bit trigger-happy."

"Am not," Kevin protested.

Jess leveled a venomous glare at him, which Karen was glad she wasn't on the receiving end of. "Are to," she said flatly, her tone of voice indicating that Kevin shouldn't argue with her if he wished to not obtain serious injury when they got to wherever it was they were going.

That reminded Karen. "Where are we going?" she asked, as she rubbed the sore spot on her arm from where she was hit, presumably from an orbo bullet.

"To your Inquiry," Jess replied airily.

"My Inquiry?" Karen asked, puzzled. "I thought that was just for testing Craft users to get into SOLOMON," she said.

"She actually knows something," Jess said, a hint of real amazement in her voice. Kevin glanced back at Karen through the rear view mirror. He didn't say anything. Karen didn't know if that was good or bad. "It is true that Inquisitions are for Craft users that are to become hunters. This Inquisition, however, is completely different," Jess explained. "You were found writing unauthorized fanfic," she said dramatically.

Karen blinked. "Since when did writing fanfic need to be authorized?" she asked warily, not sure if she really wanted to know.

"Since the world has been plagued with never before seen amounts of badfics," Kevin replied. "SOLOMON has decided that badfic writing must somehow be connected with witches. I'd say they aren't too far off the mark."

"Woah. Hold it," Karen implored, rubbing vigorously at her temples. "Witches? SOLOMON? That's all fictional," she reasoned.

"That's what you were meant to think," Jess said, that evil glint returning to her green eyes. She took off her glasses, cleaning them absent-mindedly on her Witch Hunter Robin T-shirt. Karen could have sworn that she now saw an Amon pin on her lapel. This was insane.

"Inquisitor Koushon will not be pleased," Kevin said. "We're late because of Sakaki's abysmal directions."

"Sakaki?" Karen croaked.

Jess turned around to look at her. "Come on. Don't tell me you don't know one of the members of the STN-J," she said, rolling her eyes.

"No...I do, but isn't he a fictional character?"

Jess shook her head sadly. "Sometimes they never learn," she said.

"Oh, they learn eventually," Kevin laughed from the driver's seat. It was about then that they pulled up to an old Catholic church. Karen had never seen it before. It was stone and had lots of stained glass windows, as any respectable Catholic church should. It also had a steeple with a large cross. Karen briefly remembered that the Inquiry in the show had been held in a church.

Kevin parked and shut off the engine. Jess immediately got out. Kevin did too. He rounded the vehicle and opened the door for Karen, who hopped out. They were, in fact, in a large, black SUV. Kevin put a hand on her shoulder and guided her to the entrance of the church. Karen was afraid of what she would find when she met Inquisitor Koushon.

She was about to find out. Kevin lead her into a long room with a long table. The room was lit by sunlight and a few candles. The windows in the room were stained glass, so the sunlight filtering through them appeared as colored patterns on the floors and walls. It was actually quite beautiful.

Karen looked to the opposite end of the table where Inquisitor Koushon was seated. He adjusted his glasses and looked at her through his hawk-like eyes.

Kevin pushed her into the seat at the end of the table they were standing at. "This is Inquisitor Koushon, High Inquisitor for SOLOMON Fanfiction University, also known as SFU," he said by way of introduction. Inquisitor Koushon nodded to Karen, who suddenly felt extremely nervous.

"Inquisitor Koushon, this is Karen. I trust you know the charges filed against her," Kevin said. Karen noticed Jess hanging out behind Kevin, looking warily at Koushon. Karen thought this odd, since when she and Kevin picked her up, she had taken the lead. She wondered if Jess had any first-hand experience with Inquisitions, but found it extremely unlikely.

"Thank you, Kevin," Koushon said, bowing his head gracefully. "You and Jess may leave. The Inquiry will now begin." Kevin bowed and Jess followed suit. She looked slightly pale. The two hunters turned on their heels and left the room, leaving Karen feeling oddly alone and extremely uncomfortable.

---

Jess and Kevin entered the priest's office, where they had set up their monitoring equipment. The Inquisition had just begun. Koushon was speaking to Karen evenly, and Karen was looking distinctly uncomfortable.

"I wish we didn't have to work so damn closely with him while getting students to enroll," Jess said. Kevin merely laughed.

"You have first-hand experience with the Inquisitor, ne?" he asked, a mischievous smile alighting his lips and an equally mischievous glint entering his eye. Jess glared at him and refused to answer. The turned to watch the Inquisition. Karen was visibly sweating as she asked what was wrong with Amon/Sakaki slash. Jess visibly shuddered.

"It's wrong, that's what," she replied as Koushon gave pretty much the same response. It wasn't long until he proclaimed her student material for SOLOMON Fanfiction University. That was her and Kevin's cue to go back into the room. Jess bravely gathered some papers and followed her partner into the hall.

Karen looked up when the two hunters returned. Jess put a sheaf of papers in front of her and produced a pen from within the depths of her jackets. "Please fill out these forms," she said, handing the pen to Karen. "This is the deal. You fill out these forms, enroll at SFU, and when you're finished, you will get a license to write fanficion again."

"What if I don't pass?" she asked, voice trembling slightly.

"Oh, we'll make sure you pass...one way or another," Jess said with a terrifying grin.

Karen was too confused, terrified, and a whole slew of other things to protest. She slowly filled out the enrollment forms. When it got to a blank that said Class: she put down "Seed" without thinking too much about it. Once she filled out her forms completely, Jess took the pen, and Kevin took the papers, handing them to Koushon.

"We'll pick you up in the morning," he said brightly.

With that, Karen somehow ended up back in her own apartment, in front of her laptop, right where she was before Jess and Kevin had come a knockin'. She looked at her computer screen, feeling somewhat queasy. This had to be a dream. Yes, she had fallen asleep while writing her fanfic, and had a dream about a fiery-haired woman and an extraordinarily hawt guy that looked like Amon with shorter hair.

Even if it was a dream, she no longer felt like writing. She closed her laptop and went to her room. What she needed was sleep. Yes, a good night's sleep would do her good. Perhaps it would somehow help her forget about her experience-that-had-to-be-a-dream.

She went to her room, changed into her pink pajamas with bunnies and carrots on them, and climbed into bed. She fell asleep almost instantly.

---

Author's Notes: Welcome to SFU. Hope you all like it so far. I promise more insanity and pain in later chapters. SFU is open for students to enroll. However, I ask that you please enroll by sending me an e-mail (robinatsignofthecraftdotnet) and not via review. To enroll, tell me your name, your class (witch, human, or Seed), and if you're a witch, your power. I'll warn you now that if you enroll, you better not take yourself too seriously. After all this is an OFU.