X Character Profile

Sumeragi Hokuto

……………………………Part I…………………………

"H . . .H . . .Hokuto-chaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnn!!"

I watched as Subaru turned a vivid shade of red upon my remark. He hadn't really changed much from when he was young, but whether it was a good or bad thing, I wasn't sure. Yet there was something that would never change. He would always be my little twin brother.

Of course he made a better model now that he was all grown up. Physical wise.

"Ne, Sei-chan, promise me that you won't bully Subaru in the future, or as a sister-in-law, I will literally hunt you down!" I made a fake serious face.

"Of course! How can I ever bear to hurt my Subaru-kun." He replied and laughed. Now I could even pass Subaru off as a tomato if he had had better clothing on.

Oh, and only I could tease him this way.

With the exception of Sei-chan.

Ever since I first saw Sei-chan, I knew that someday, he would become very special to Subaru, so I kept seeing them up. But in the same time, I could sense that Sei-chan wasn't being his true self, as if he was hiding behind a mask. Occasionally I could catch a glint in his eyes and it made my skin crawl. What I was doing was rather risky, but I was willing to go for it.

I want Subaru to desire something, then work towards owning it, no matter what other people might say. He had already given up on his drams to become a zookeeper because of clan duties, and I did not want to live without a goal; to live just because everyone else wanted him to. Maybe it was because he was too kind, so he often did things that made others happy, while he himself was bleeding inside.

So was kindness a good ting? In a city like Tokyo, being kind meant weakness and prone to pain and betrayal, but that didn't mean that I wanted him to be cruel. I just wished that he could think more about himself, and not get tied down by his own kindness.

That was why I wanted him to love Sei-chan. Love could make someone more selfish and possessive, as love could never be shared. Besides, if he were to love Sei-chan, he would be rebelling against the rules of being a Sumeragi, as Sei-chan was the successor of the Sakurazukamori clan. I wanted to know just how far he would go for love.

But Subaru was so damn shy! If I weren't around, I doubt that he would even have the nerve to speak to Sei-chan. I mean, Subaru won't be doing anything if I weren't around! I had to even prepare what he had to wear everyday, if not, he would only clad himself in black and white. Just disgusting! I had to push him forwards. I was sure that I was correct.

If only I could witness their first kiss . . .Then I would die happy!

With that thought, I sneaked up from behind Subaru and pushed him, blushing furiously and sputtering, into the wide open arms of Sei-chan.

……………………………….Part II…………………………..

"Hi! My name is Sumeragi Hokuto. What's your name?"

"Kuzuki. Kuzuki Kakyou."

"Calling you Kuzuki-san is too formal, so can I call you Kyou-chan?"

He finally looked up at me, his golden eyes filled with surprise. He had such beautiful eyes, only that they seemed so sad and tired, tormented by time.

"This is not my dreamscape, that means . . .is this your dream? But why can I enter your dream?"

"Because I want to see someone other than myself. I have always been alone, so I want to see some other people. Anyone is fine."

"How can you say that anyone is fine when such a cute girl is in front of you!? You must be very happy that the person you meet is me, isn't it?"

He smiled. "I am happy."

That was how I got to know Kyou-chan. He was a dreamgazer, so I could only see him in dreams. He was really pleasant, but only a bit quiet, and hard to open up. Eventually, he did, of course. (How could he not with me around!) I loved talking to him, though sometimes it was all me doing the talking. But it felt . . .balanced, in a sort of way. I could talk to him about anything, and he would listen to whatever I would say and seem interested all the time. A few times I found myself almost pouring words out without thinking, making me act like someone I normally wasn't. At last I found someone who didn't find me noisy.

"Ah! I have a twin brother. We look very alike, and he's really cute. But my brother, because of having extremely strong powers and a pure heart, lives in great misery. Unlike me, who knows nothing at all."

"But luckily I have this bit of powers, and enables me to see you!"

I was never really proud, or felt lucky that I had those tiny bits of power. It rarely came into use with Subaru around. But now, I finally knew that my powers were for. I was finally doing something for myself, and not for Subaru (I'm not complaining, though) or fro the whole Sumeragi Clan (this one I am). I rally, really like Kyou-chan, but whether it was love or not, I was not sure. He was definitely in this world (of course!), but being with him always felt as if in an illusion.

But he had one little problem.

He could not get out of his dreams and the small room he lives in and go to the outside world. Bu part of him still longs to be free, yet at the same time, scared of it.

"You have never left here since you were born? Really? Do you wish to be like this yourself? Then I have nothing to say. Ah! It's not? Then it's simple! If you could go out, then where would you go first?"

"As long as it's with Hokuto, anywhere's fine."

"You can't say that anywhere's fine, its' a rare opportunity to be able to have a date in the real world."

"Then, let's go to the beach."

"Ok! We'll go here. This is my favorite beach."

If only that was real . . . If only he could go . . .Someday I would get him out. I must get him out. A dreamscape is beautiful, but it would be even more beautiful if it could come true. Maybe we could just take a little step today, then step by step, I would turn this to reality!

"Come on! Let's go from here, to the 'outside world'."

………………………………….Part III……………………………..

"Subaru, wake up and look at me. Subaru . . .Subaru!" I called out again and again. But the words made no effect other than shattering my heart as each call echoed in the empty, lifeless room.

I saw my own reflection, crying and crying, in his dull and vacant irises. This was the first time I had cried ever since I grew up. There used to be nothing to cry for. Life was almost perfect. Sad things did happen, but I was often very optimistic. Besides, I had to comfort Subaru too. I had to be strong for him.

But there was not even someone to comfort anymore. There was no support to make me strong anymore. I had never felt so useless, so helpless in my life.

I was submerged in guilt. It was me who prompted Subaru to love Seishirou, in other words, it was because of me that Subaru would be hurt so deeply. Why couldn't I see the real die of Seishirou earlier? Why had I been so sure myself? It was all my fault that Subaru was like this now. I had destroyed both of our lives. I deserve this, but not Subaru . . .

I would do anything so that Subaru would go on living, that maybe hope against hope, Seishirou would love him back, and then he would not be hurt anymore. Let me suffer all the pain in place of him.

Just let him go, please, just let him go.

Just let me cry, maybe just for this one last time, just let me cry.

……………………………………………………………………

"Because you are the Sakurazukamori, and I know that all the preys of the Sakurazukamori will die, you will kill Subaru. But I will never let you hurt Subaru. I will never let you kill him!"

"With your powers, you cannot kill me."

He smiled, but it was so different from the friendly one we were all used to see over the year. Where was the Sei-chan I knew? He never existed. I didn't mind him lying to me, but what about Subaru? Subaru loved him! His love was already so deep that it could kill him.

"I know, but there is a spell that only I can use. I have know the true identify of the Sakurazukamori, so now, just kill me quickly."

"As you wish."

I saw his hand coming for me, the same maddeningly calm smile was still on his face. There was a sickening sound as his hand punctured through my chest, a sound made up of ribs breaking and lungs collapsing. Blood gushed out. So much blood. I could even feel it trickling across my skin. I was numb for a second or two, then the full impact of pain hit me.

Blood continued to flow endlessly, and I felt my energy draining out with it.

"After you die, Subaru will be very sad, won't he?"

"Y . . . yes, but . . .I hope that Subaru will go on living . . .I know that it is stubborn of me to do this, and my death will make Subaru feel that he is in living hell, but even if so . . .I still want him to go on living. This . . .can be counted as my selfishness . . . But . . .I still want you and Subaru to live."

"Why am I included? I've hurt Subaru and killed you."

"I . . .know, but I don't want you to die too." Because Subaru cannot live without you, and would only die in your hands. He still loved you. I know that you were the most important person to Subaru, so if my death could be exchanged for the life of Subaru or both of you, I was willing.

Please see the meaning of my death, Subaru, and never try to seek revenge. I chose to die so that you two could be together, or at least living. Please . . .if you could hear me; please . . .make my death worthwhile.

"So, I am using my last efforts to create this curse. If you . . .want to use the same method you killed me with to kill Subaru . . .the actions will reverse . . .and you will be killed instead."

"Why are you telling me the contents of the curse you are putting your life into?"

"If I don't say . . .then it would be meaningless . . .I must let you believe, so that you will not activate the spell . . ."

"I'm not a man whom you should trust."

"I know . . . but Subaru thinks that you are the most special person to him, so I want to believe you . . ." I had to believe you. This was the only way I could think of. I knew that it was desperate, but I will want to gamble my life, to believe that you still loved Subaru, no matter who you really were.

"Remember . . .there are unredeemable crimes in the world . . .bet there never is someone who cannot love, Seishirou . . ."

Subaru, please forgive me for my selfish wish that you would go on living, when you never want to face this world again.

I am sorry, Kyou-chan, that I would never have the chance to fulfill my promise, the promise to meet you on that beach in the outside world.

I would never have a chance to know if what I was doing was right. Things in life were unpredictable, yet they had all been pre-destined. Maybe what I as doing was downright useless, but at least I tried. I had given everything I had.

"Su . . .ba . . .ru. . ."

Go on living.

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