Getting To Know You
Chapter 20
Disclaimer: See Chapter 1
Previously: Feeling depressed when Jed went to London for six days, Abbey decided to take the next step in their relationship and proposed to him when he returned.
Summary: Abbey is devestated by Jed's reaction -- at first.
"Marry me, Jed."
Marry me. She had said marry me. Jed's mouth hung open, his mind racing with possible answers. She didn't want to break up with him at all. She wanted to take this further. She wanted to be his wife.
"Abbey," was all he could say as a myriad of thoughts invaded his senses.
"I want to marry you," she added nervously. "I want you to be my husband and I want to be your wife."
"Happily ever after, right?" He took her into his arms and held her tightly. "Have you thought about this?"
"Of course."
As happy and flattered as he was, he had to be sure she was doing this for the right reasons, that this wasn't a desperate attempt to keep them together. He had to challenge her. "Okay, walk me through it. We get married. Then what?"
"Then we live together," she answered.
"Where? Here or in London?"
Abbey swallowed hard. "I don't know."
Despite her weak reaction, Jed never looked away from her. "If we move to London, you'll have to postpone med school."
"I know," she said sadly, crossing the room to turn away from him.
"Though there are med schools in London."
"They're not Harvard," she whispered.
"No, they're not and I know it's your dream to go to Harvard. We probably couldn't afford both of us in school at the same time anyway if we're married and living on our own."
Abbey nodded. "One of us will have to work while the other goes to school."
"That's right. So which one of us is it going to be?"
"I don't know," she admitted.
"I thought you said you thought about it," he replied.
"I thought about how great it would be to be married!"
"Yes, but you didn't think about the logistics," Jed blurted out, much stronger than he intended to. "God, Abbey, you're doing this on impulse. Why? Is it because you're afraid I'll leave you if I go away? Are you afraid I'm not going to love you anymore?"
"No."
"Then why?"
Abbey fought back the tears that threatened to fall down her cheeks. Her head held high, she stoically responded, "Because I love you!"
"Oh, Honey, I love you too." Jed reached out to take her hand, but she pulled away.
"You're all I think about, Jed. I can't imagine not being with you. I don't care how we work it out. I just want to be Mrs. Josiah Bartlet. I don't want to be apart from you ever again."
"I feel the same way, Abbey."
"Then why are you acting this way?" She paused to catch her breath and swiped the moisture under her eyes. "Forget it. You're obviously not ready for this. That's fine."
Humiliated and hurt, Abbey buried herself in her emotions and walked away from him, towards the sofa. Jed followed, taking his seat right beside her.
"It's just that you haven't given it that much thought," he said.
"No, I guess not. We'll drop it." She twirled her fingers around each other. Anything to avoid looking at him.
Jed allowed the silence for only a moment before speaking up. "I haven't given you your present yet."
"Jed, I'm really not in the mood right now."
"I think you're going to like it."
"Please, not now."
He ignored her request and took out a small velvet box from his pocket, forcing it into her hand. Abbey was immediately suspicious of the size and shape, but she reluctantly opened it and gasped at the sight of a ring beautifully set with a center diamond surrounded by two smaller diamonds on each side. When she looked at him, questions lighting her eyes with curiosity, Jed kneeled down in front of her and took the box from her hands so he could present her with the ring.
"You're not the only one who's been doing some thinking, Abigail. I love you too and I don't want to imagine my life without you."
"Oh God. Jed."
"Will you marry me?"
His eyes sparkled with nerves, but his question was so sincere. It dropped form his lips so softly because of the lump that had formed in his throat.
Abbey sighed through a few tears, her response barely audible." It's beautiful!"
"You like it?"
"I love it," she answered. "But you just said…"
"Yeah, I know what I said. Look, I know you're a progressive woman and all, but there are some things I, as the man, still look forward to doing on my own. Proposing to the woman I love is one of them."
Abbey let out a faint laugh, overwhelmed by her excitement. "You scared me."
He grinned back at her. "I'm sorry. But you shocked the hell out of me. I was expecting to come back here, steal a moment alone with your father to ask for your hand, then take you out to a fancy dinner and pop the question. Before I knew it, you completely turned the tables on me."
"Sorry."
"That's one of the things I love so much about you. You're passionate and impulsive and you keep me on my toes. You think I haven't been walking the streets of London thinking about you too? Not a moment went by when I didn't imagine you there with me, holding my hand, sharing a warm cup of coffee, or something as simple as a tube ride to Kensington Park. I love you so much."
"You were thinking about this during your trip?"
He continued to hold the ring box with one hand, his other tracing her fingernails. "But I was right. You really hadn't thought about all the other factors involved in us getting married."
"And you have?"
With their hands still joined, Jed stood up, lifting her with him. "Yes."
"Fill me in."
"I figure it would be easier for us right now if I were to move back here after graduation and go to grad school right here in New England while you go to med school - at Harvard. It's your dream and for the first few years of our marriage, it'll probably be the best thing for both of us. If we stay in the U.S., I may be able to get a scholarship to grad school. And it makes more sense than starting over in a foreign country, away from your family, our friends. I can still get my doctorate from London, but it'll just wait a few years."
"Are you serious?"
"Of course I am. Everything will work out better this way. I spent the last few days just thinking about you, Abbey…about us. I wouldn't be able to go to school there. There's no way I could concentrate with you back here in the States. I want you with me always."
Abbey stared down at the ring he was still holding. "You bought this in London?"
Jed shook his head. "I bought it when I bought your Christmas present. I didn't make up my mind until I was in London - without you."
"So how long have you really been thinking about this?"
"Since the night you covered for me at my parents. From the moment you came outside to tell me that you'd always be on my side. I don't just want you on my side. I want you by my side, Abbey."
"But you questioned my motives for wanting to marry you."
He brushed the loose bangs to the side of her forehead to reveal her pretty green eyes. "I wanted to be sure you weren't just scared that I would leave you. I needed to know that you want to get married out of love, not fear."
With his thumb, Jed wiped the tears from under Abbey's eyes. "I love you."
He stroked her hair when she buried her face in his chest "Is that a yes?"
She looked up at him, realizing she had never answered his question. "Yes, of course I will marry you!"
Smiling, he took a step back and took the ring out of the box. His hand gracefully holding hers, he slid it onto her finger as she watched, tears now falling rapidly down her face and mingling his. Her gaze was static, pointed downward until Jed placed his index finger under her chin to lift it back up. He leaned forward then, slanting his head and claiming her lips in a long, passionate kiss that joined them for several minutes before they broke apart to relax in yet another embrace.
The End
To be continued in A Wedding Diary