Garfield
I am an orange cat;
My given name is Garfield.
I am super-lazy and fat;
I am always cranky.
Abusing my owner is what I do;
He slaves after me day and night.
I destroy his social life (big whoop);
When I'm discovered, I'm out of sight.
As my poor owner cries, "Boo-hoo,"
I point and snicker with delight.
I also torture his pet dog, too.
Stupid Odie is in constant blight.
So dumb; caught the August flu.
Don't you see, he's not too bright?
I'm so fat I can't see my feet;
I eat tons of lasagna.
I take 3-hour naps in great big heaps;
I lift an eyelid only in need.
All to my life is eat and sleep.
All I do is sleep and eat.
-- By Freak of Fiction--