Author: SportsNightLover

Title: Timmy's Day with the Substitute Fairy

Summary: Wanda and Cosmo are gone and Timmy has to spend time with Wanda's ex.

Disclaimer: The characters aren't mine.

Cosmo was really getting on Timmy's nerves with his annoying voice and his stupidity. He always is so hyper and grants wishes too fast before Timmy can realize what he wished for. Cosmo is an idiot and Timmy can't stand it any longer. He knows the only way to get rid of him and still have a god parent. Timmy doesn't want to, but has to. He has to break Wanda and Cosmo up. The only way to do that is to get Wanda to like Juandissimo. Timmy sent Cosmo on a relaxing vacation in fairy world where he could ruin things there. While he was away, Timmy approached Wanda with the thoughts of Cosmo's annoying voice ringing in his ears.

"Wanda, why are you married to Cosmo?" Timmy asked trying to start the conversation.

"Because I love him, honey."

"Why do you love him? Why don't you marry Juandissimo and love him?"

"Why are you asking these questions?"

"Cosmo is getting on my nerves and he won't stop."

"Have you told him this?"

"Are you kidding? Do you know what he would do? Me neither. He could cry or be hurt or anything."

"Honey, he loves you."

"I hate him. I can't believe I'm saying this but I would rather have Juandissimo as my fairy god parent. Juandissimo," Timmy called into space trying to Juan to answer. Out of nowhere popped Juan. He made a dazzling entrance as usual trying to show off.

"Somebody called," He answered in a Spanish accent. "Oh. Wanda, was it you? Do you want me back in your life? And get rid of Cosmo? Say the words and I'm here again."

"No it was not me, and I DO NOT want you back."

"Yes she does," Timmy said trying to play matchmaker. "She already got rid of Cosmo and wants you instead."

"Oh Wanda, I'm flattered. You finally realized how bad Cosmo was and that you needed a better man."

"I wouldn't be getting that from you." Wanda said harshly. "And I need to see you Timmy, now. Hold on Juan."

"I will be waiting for your call over here," He said pointing to a corner of the room. "Remember how we used to be." Off to the side Wanda started asking Timmy questions.

"What are you doing? I don't like him anymore."

"But you did once. Remember those times? Why did you ever like him in the first place, there had to be a reason?"

"I loved the way he looked and the way he picked me over everyone else. I loved the way he cared about me."

"Can Cosmo give you that? Did he pick you? Yes, but who was the other choice. Did he care only about and want to be with you everyone moment? Does he now? Does he protect you from Momma Cosmo?"

"Well, I guess not."

"Isn't he annoying and does he ever do anything right?"

"Yes and no."

"Exactly." While counting fingers, Timmy summarizes the negatives about Cosmo. "He had to pick you, he doesn't care about you that much, he doesn't protect you from Momma Cosmo, he is an idiot, and he is very annoying. On top of all that, he doesn't do anything right. Now you can name the positives."

"He cares about you."

"Juan would."

"He loves me."

"Not as much as Juan."

"He um...He...um...well there was something else."

"No there wasn't. Everything we mentioned, Juan does right. Look at him." Wanda turns, trying hard not to remember all the times that they had. She knew that if she did, she would be happy. She was forced to remember the times that she got what she wanted and didn't have to clean up after Cosmo. Wanda kept trying to fight for Cosmo but was losing. Cosmo came back and Wanda had to choose. Wanda went over all the good things and bad things about Juan and Cosmo in her mind. Cosmo asked what was going on and why Juan was there. After there was no answer, Cosmo tried to read his empty head and couldn't succeed. He flew over to Wanda but along the way crashed into a few things and got Timmy into trouble. Wanda was losing her patience with Cosmo and trying desperately to find something good. Just when Wanda was still on the line, Momma Cosmo burst into the room. She did things that made Cosmo happy and Wanda feel bad. When Cosmo didn't stick up for Wanda she made her choice.

She went up to Juan and said, "Only under a few rules."

"Anything for you, dear."

"One, we always stay here. Two, you also take care of Timmy. Three, this is a 24 hour job. Four, you have to grant all his wishes. And five, never make a big mess that I have to clean up. Understand?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"Good."