Disclaimer: The song is "Austin" and the artist is Blake Shelton. Zekk, Jaina, and, well, everything else is George Lucas's. Selfish man!! teases
RatingPG
Summary: It was two weeks before their wedding that Jaina ran out on their relationship, leaving Zekk's heart in tatters. But the Force wasn't done with them yet.
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Hey Boy
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She left without leaving a number
Said she needed to clear her mind
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It was afternoon, overcast, and a cold unfeeling rain kept skittering down the windows of the small lonely apartment. In his office, Zekk DeCrion sat in a large nerf leather chair. He was silent, staring listlessly at the wall before him, trying to not focus on the pictures of Jaina smiling that hung there peacefully, mocking him. In his hands he held a small datachip, but he didn't need to read its message to know what it said.
Jaina Solo, his fiancé, his light, his one constant, his reason for living, had left him.
Zekk tilted his alabaster face up, his dark emerald eyes glinting with liquid pain that begged for release. Release he couldn't afford. He tightened one pale, long-fingered hand into a fist. It was the only physical manifestation of the loss that was reeling through him that he allowed himself.
Taking a deep shuddering breath, Zekk forced himself to slow his breathing down, to reach out for the Force to calm himself. Carefully, slowly, it worked. The pain that shimmered in his eyes sank back into emotionlessness and he spun his chair a bit to slip the chip into a data reader.
"'Sorry for everything, Zekk. I shouldn't have let things go so far and not speak up.'" Zekk read aloud, trying to remain emotionless as he read the message he had found left on the middle of his single sized bed.
"'I can't take all of this right now. I need to clear my mind. Don't look for me. Love, Your Goddess'." Zekk's breath caught on the last word, turning it into a heartbroken sob. "Oh Jaya…" He gave up on his hopeless attempt to remain in control and buried his white face in his hands, tears matting in his long eyelashes before sliding down his cheeks.
Outside, a sudden crack of thunder was followed by the distant flash of light and the rain came down harder.
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He figured she'd gone back to Austin
'Cause she talked about it all the time
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The next day dawned bright and disgustingly cheery. Zekk splashed cold water on his face, wishing that everything that had happened the day before had been nothing more then a nightmare – ignoring the fact that the Jedi didn't have dreams or nightmares. Drying his face in a towel, the tips of his fingers pressed against embroidered initials at the edge. Jaina's supposedly future initials; she had placed the thick towels in his bathroom two days before, laughing and telling him that it wasn't long before it would be her bathroom too when he objected.
Zekk's hands trembled as he dropped the towel like it was a living coal. Pressing his cool fingers against his burning eyes, he forced himself to take long calming breaths.
Once he felt in control, he pulled on a flowing, loose silk shirt that Jaina had bought him, leaving it unbuttoned as he headed out of his bedroom, trying to convince himself that he wasn't betraying Jaina's trust as he started to search for her.
Pausing briefly in the cool, silver and blue motif kitchen, Zekk poured himself a cup of espcaff and continued on his trek to his office. Settling into his chair and taking a sip before setting the cup to one side, he pulled out a keyboard and quickly started up the terminal. Rubbing his forehead, his emerald eyes closed of their own violation as a quiet sigh escaped him.
Coruscant.
That was almost undoubtedly where she had fled to. Both of them had spent the greater majority of their young lives there, Jaina's parents still resided on the city planet. She had spoken of them often in the past few months and of how she wanted to explore their old haunts.
Even as he was about to set up a com connection with one of his old contacts from the underworld, Zekk felt a tremendous amount of guilt swamp him. He groaned and shut down the terminal before he could change his mind. "Jaina… Jaina… fine… have it your way… but please… don't… don't stay gone too long… I don't think I can handle it…"
A small yellow bird outside his window began to sing happily and Zekk snapped its neck with the Force without even realizing it.
----
It was almost a year
Before she called him up,
----
Jaina Solo bit her lower lip anxiously, her sparkling hazel eyes dimmed with uncertainty. Swishing her elbow length chestnut hair over her shoulders, she straightened her back and reached for the com unit that sat in its cradle. Punching in the code that was emblazoned in her mind, she waited tensely for the man on the other end of the line to pick up.
Zekk DeCrion. Her fiancée – former fiancée was more like it, she noted with a harsh laugh under her breath. Her tanned skin almost glowed in a way that Zekk's never could, yet one other thing that set them apart. She hadn't seen or spoken with him in nearly a year. It was one month to the day of when they were to have been married. Well, if she hadn't… hadn't left him.
Something inside Jaina shied away from that thought, unwilling to accept the guilt. Guilt that was hers no matter how much she tried to ignore it
He probably hates me anyways. Jaina tried to assure herself as she continued waiting.
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Three rings and an answering machine
Is what she got
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It rang for a few moments, and then Jaina heard a soft beep that signified the starting of an automatic answering machine. Switching the com unit to her other ear, Jaina pinned it to the side of her head with her shoulder and called a knife to her hand and began to cut up carrots in nice, even slices that she would add to the salad she was preparing for dinner.
A bittersweet smile creased her full dusky lips as she heard the soft, silky baritone of Zekk's voice.
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If your calling 'bout the car, I sold it,
If this is Tuesday night, I'm bowling
If you got something to sell
Your wasting your time
I'm not buying
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"If you're calling about the swoop bike, I sold it last week. If this is Tuesday, then I'm at the training Salle with Solo. If you're one of the people that places bets on our fights, then just keep in mind that I've trounced him every single time for the last nine months. If you're advertising, attempting to sway my political stance, trying to trap me into agreeing to be part of a study, want to spend the night with me, want to sell me something, then please to throw yourself out of a convenient airlock – I'm most decidedly NOT interested."
Jaina laughed aloud at his message, even as she strove to ignore the implications of his statement. Spend the night with him? He wouldn't betray me like that-
Oh, you mean like how you betrayed him? Her conscious sneered at her and Jaina swallowed hard, ignoring the small voice at the back of her head.
----
If it's anybody else
Wait for the tone
You know what to do
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"If you're a friend, Jedi, Sith, or any other way have a connection with me, then wait for the tone. It's a very pretty tone really, a friend of mine made it custom for me," Jaina smiled sadly at the pride in Zekk's voice. "Yeah, anyways, leave a message after the tone, and I'll meditate on whether or not to call you back. Aren't I kind?"
Jaina shook her head in disbelief at his antics as she set down the knife and held the com unit in her hand. She took a deep fortifying breath as she prepared to leave him a message that she had rehearsed time and time again over the past month, but the air froze in her lungs as he continued after a moment's break.
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And P.S. if this is Austin
I still love you.
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"And if this is Jay? I-I still love you."
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The telephone fell to the counter
She heard but she couldn't believe
What kinda man would hang on that long
What kinda love that must be
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The com unit fell from her numbed hand and clattered on the counter, before sliding off and hitting the floor. The faint beep from the other end of the line spurred Jaina into frenzied action as she fell to her knees and grabbed for the com unit and hitting the button to end the call frantically. "End, end, end," she whispered to herself as the com unit canceled the connection and she slumped. Leaning her forehead against the cabinets in front of her, she tried desperately to calm her heart.
Jaina was stunned. She almost wanted to call Him again, just to be sure that it had said what she thought it said, but she knew that it would be an exercise in futility. He still loved her! A self-deprecating laugh escaped her lips. What kind of man was he? She couldn't imagine someone hanging on that long…
…But he had. He still loved her. He still loved her!!
Jaina's emotions sang through her in a flurry of joy, fear, love and guilt. Could they still have a chance? The kind of love that the two of them had shared had been… magical. Something that Jaina knew she could only find once in a life-time.
----
She waited three days
And then she tried again
----
Three days later, Jaina was seated on her bed, staring at the com unit in her hands. "I am going to do this," she whispered to herself, willing herself to be strong. Her dark lashes fluttered down to lay against her flushed cheeks as she tried to release her anxiety to the Force. "I am going to do this, damnit! I will!"
Unsurprisingly, the pep talk did not make it any easier for Jaina as she pressed her trembling finger to each number of the code that she knew by heart. Lifting the cold metal com unit to her ear, she finally released the fluttering negative emotions.
For the first time since she was a young teen, Jaina felt nervous about a guy.
----
She didn't know what she'd say
But she heard three rings and then
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A sudden attack of nerves almost made Jaina throw down the com unit. The color that had lit up her face flew and her translucent skin looked chalky in contrast. Jaina realized she had a problem.
What am I going to say?! Jaina thought furiously, but even as she scrambled for some thing that she could say, her mind went blank.
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If it's Friday night,
I'm at the ball game
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"If it's Friday night, I'm playing smash ball with Durron and Fel. Bet on us when the fights come – 'kay? Hey! How could you go wrong? We could pass for brothers, we're so gorgeous! Well, maybe not Fel but-" Zekk coughed. "Okay so I lie, but, hey! We'll still totally rule the fights."
Jaina laughed, forgetting to be anxious for a few seconds as she tried to picture the three very special men on a smash ball team – and failed.
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And first thing Saturday, if it don't rain
I'm headed out to the lake
And I'll be gone all weekend long
But I'll call you back
When I get home
On Sunday afternoon,
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"And on Saturday, the Love Birds – the Fel's – are dragging me off to the lake so they can 'talk' to me."
Jaina smirked as she imagined Zekk shuddering at the word 'talk'.
"Maybe if it's raining they'll let me off, but I don't think the Force loves me that much." Zekk sighed audibly. "I'll probably be gone all weekend, but if I feel like it, I'll com you when I get back, Sunday evening. May the Force be with you."
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And P.S. if this is Austin
I still love you
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"Oh yeah, and, Jay? I still love you, you know." Zekk added quickly, almost cutting off the last word with the musical tones that meant the recording was at its end.
Jaina took a deep breath and tried to lick her lips, but her tongue was just as dry as her throat and it made no difference. "Ah," she hesitated.
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This time she left her number
But not another word
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Before Jaina could change her mind, she rattled off the code to her comlink and then terminated the connection, breathing shallowly, like she had just run fifty kilometers with Force enhanced speed and was suddenly forced to stop while her heart rate went thundering on.
Force, did I do the right thing?? the question haunted her.
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Then she waited by the phone
On Sunday evening
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Sunday evening came around and Jaina was seated on a plush red carpet, her legs crossed and her hands resting lightly on her knees in meditation as the still comlink sat on the floor in front of her.
Jaina's excitement knew no bounds as she tried desperately to keep herself from jumping ahead of her self. Please, Zekk, call me, call me, call me, call me, Sweet Force call me… was the mantra that echoed through her tiny head.
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And this is what he heard
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Zekk was soaking wet when he finally reached his apartment, pushing through the door and dropping his bag in the entry way without a qualm. Shedding his coat, he hung it up on the coat rack and yanked off his unlaced boots, his smooth white feet tinged blue with cold. Walking smoothly further into his living quarters, he completely ignored the trail of water behind him as he unbuttoned his cuffs and pressed the flashing button on his answering machine with the Force.
There was only one message and Zekk didn't even register what it was – only whose voice it was that was speaking.
Jaina!! Zekk's heart screamed as his entire body stilled. Force…
It was a simple collection of numbers but Zekk knew instinctively what they were and he pushed his dripping wet hair that gleamed blue in the florescent lighting. Stripping off his shirt, he tossed it in the direction of the pass-through and it sailed into the sink. The cool air that rushed through the vents chilled him to the bone, but he didn't feel it.
Zekk's usually clear dark-green eyes were cloudy with remembered pain and barely suppressed tension as he picked up his com unit and entered Jaina's code. And he prayed.
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If you're calling 'bout my heart
It's still yours
I shoulda listened to it a little more
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Zekk was frozen as Jaina's soft, lyrical voice smoothed over his frayed nerves. His knees buckled and he fell to the floor in a rather loud heap, his breathing harsh.
"Hey, Boy. If you're calling about my heart, heh, it's still yours. I guess I should've listened to it instead of my head like I have been lately…" Jaina trailed off and Zekk closed his eyes in wonder.
It's Jaina… Zekk's heart seemed to say with every beat.
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Then it wouldn't have
Taken me so long
To know where I belong
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"See, then it wouldn't have taken me so long to figure out where it was that I… truly… belonged."
And where is that? Zekk wanted to yell, but made himself stay steady and finish listening to the message machine.
Where do you want that to be, Jaya?... Zekk thought desperately.
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And by the way boy
This is no machine you're talking to
Can't you tell this is Austin
And I still love you
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"And by the way, Zekk," Jaina's voice laughed in a strangled sort of way. "This isn't a machine like you think. It's really me. And–" she hesitated for a second. "I still love you, you know."
Zekk's emotions tore away from him, creating an almost supernova effect in the Force that had Force sensitives staggering back in wondrous shock. "Oh Jay, oh Jay…" he sobbed, over and over.
Jaina hesitantly lowered her shielding, trying to know what Zekk was feeling. Please tell me he's happy!! she pleaded with herself as she opened their bond that had lain dormant for months. His unconditional love, joy and overwhelming sense of rightness that filled his entire being told her everything that she had ever needed
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...I still love you
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"Love… I love you too… Jay…" Zekk finally gasped around his tears as everything became right with his world, at long last. His emerald eyes gleamed with victory.
Jaina loved him.
END