And now
You've become a part of me
You'll always be right here
You've become a part of me
You'll always be my fear
I can't separate
Myself from what I've done
Giving up a part of me
I've let myself become you
"Ken!" A distinctly soft yet powerful voice echoed through the gym as Kenji collapsed in the solid floor.
His name was Kaworu Aoyama, senior student, manager - Shoyo High basketball team. He was standing at six feet two inches, clean-cut black hair. He resembled Toru basically in appearance, if only for the glasses and the eyes. He had dark jade ones instead of raven.
Kaworu ran towards the unconscious boy lying on the ground. He checked his pulse and breathing. Everyone was nervous due to the absence of the coach, Kaworu's father. The echoes of worrying teammates were silenced as he spoke. "He's just fainted."
And when Toru was about to rise from his seat, expecting that he would be asked to bring the insensible boy to the infirmary, as he was the closest to him anybody knew of, the manager gathered Ken in his own arms. "Back to practice. All dismissed at exactly 6:30." He firmly ordered, before he disappeared outside with his player.
The tall boy just watched calmly from not so far, his face an unexplainable blank.
What did he call him? Are they really that close now?He had seen those deep olive eyes. It was definitely not apprehension he saw in them. It was something that he never thought he could recognize.
---
Toru lay awake on his own bed that night, alone, which was something atypical. He was just letting his thoughts wander idly, aimless as he was. He was keeping himself from thinking one thing though.
How is he doing?
But his mind always wandered back. He fought the urge to go and see. Not that he was too lazy physically, it's just that…
That damn pride of his.
---
Thick dark lashes fluttered open as Kenji woke up. He stared at his surroundings for a while, trying to stir. He tried to rise, but realized that he can't. He groaned.
"Ken? Are you awake?"
Maybe because of his hangover, he thought for a second that it was Toru. Then in his still blurred sight, he made out a pair of eyes. Filled with worry, he saw. Quite familiar eyes. Dark green ones.
Green? Aren't they supposed to be black?
He blinked. And blinked. They were really green.
"How are you feeling?" He heard the voice say again. It was deep, as deep as he knew it, but it was more soothing, almost soporific, and much gentler than how he remembered. Then he recognized.
"Sempai? What are you doing here?" He said, his voice still groggy from sleep.
"I brought you home as the nurse told me to. You passed out in practice."
Kenji tried in vain to rise again, this time, succeeding. "Is that so? I'm sorry for the trouble sempai. I can manage now." He said, sitting but for his elbow. He fully sat up and motioned to actually get out of bed. The other man could just watch as his player pathetically struggled to move about.
"Are you sure?"
The signature smile. "Thanks really, sempai."
But then because of utter worry, Kaworu can't move to go at all.
"May I ask what time is it?"
"It's 9:00."
"I'll just see you tomorrow, then." Ken stood up weakly and brushed pass Kaworu towards the door. Just then he felt a hand grip his gently yet firmly.
"What's up, Ken?"
The boy didn't look back though frozen in his steps. "Nothing's up, sempai."
"Could you just tell me what happened to your wrists and ankles?"
Kenji then realized his wristbands were gone, and so were his shoes and socks. He could not answer.
"Tell me. Or maybe just why the nurse told me you haven't been sleeping well, or why you were suddenly burning with a fever a while ago."
Still, he could not answer.
"What is happening to you?"
"You don't understand. I have to go."
"Not unless you tell me what's wrong."
"There…there…" Bitter tears started to well Ken's blue eyes. "There is…" He could just deny it this one time, just so they could all go on and live their lives. But then, he couldn't possibly say it, even if it was just a lie. He wasn't even sure he wanted to go on with his life anymore.
Kaworu then managed to get Ken lying back on the bed again. "Can you tell me about it, Kenji?" He asked, his voice comforting in itself.
"I…I…he…"
"Shhh…calm down a bit… I'll listen."
And so he did. Ken told him all that's been happening for the past almost half year, how he was tired and hurt about it, and how Toru couldn't care less what he felt.
"Can't you just stop?" Kaworu whispered. He was lying with the boy on the bed, his arms around him. Ken's beautiful face leaned safely on his warm chest; their bodies huddled with each other, his shirt wet with tears.
"Hm?" The boy muttered in half-sleep. "Stop? I can't stop…" He uttered softly. "I don't want to stop…" Then he drifted off to slumber. For the first time in a long time, he actually fell sound asleep.
--tsuzuku