Disclaimer: I don't own zip. Just the fic. Please don't sue me, I'm just a teenager, and the only thing I could pay you with is crazy hair colour dyes. Unless you really want blue hair…
A/N: Oops…I knew it was left hand not right…damn it, damn it, damn it - oops. Sorry guys, lol! Thanks for all the reviews. I'd write author notes but I'm too lazy and tired to. I'm glad no one was offended by the song but then again…if you read vampire fics that is kind of against God…that's my opinion at least. ALSO! NEXT CHAPPIE: VAN HELSING'S UNDERWEAR COME OFF! YEAH!!! Lol. So stay tuned!
Toward Dawn
Chapter One - Love is Blind
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I need to get ready for…"work"…Van Helsing thought miserably, knowing instead of thinking, with his thoughts being intercepted and everything, that getting undressed would be a difficult task now that Dracula was in his head. Christ, he was literally hearing voices in his head. What's next? he thought, Anna coming back to life? But more importantly, how could he change his underwear in front of Dracula? Dracula could all ready tell he was a virgin by that "mysterious light" he claimed he could see around Gabriel's clothed, Van Helsing swallowed nervously hoping it had been clothed, body. If there was one thing Van Helsing was sure of, it was that he wasn't gay. He wasn't in love with Carl or had ever been in love with the friar. In fact, he had despised Carl's accidental stroking and touches which made him shudder in remembrance, and he most certainly didn't want any man to see him naked below the belt.
Dracula coughed, interrupting Gabriel's thoughts abruptly, and snorted in laughter. [I'm very sorry Gabriel…but I just don't think things would work out between us. I don't like you in that way. Truly, I don't even like you. You see, it would never work.]
Van Helsing nearly choked from disbelief and sputtered in his thoughts, like I would ever touch you slimy disgusting evil parasite relative of a leech!
Dracula laughed which made the hairs on Gabriel's neck stand and cause a cold shiver down his spine. [Of course Gabriel. I understand how a man must save his dignity and honour after rejection -]
I DON'T WANT YOU! AS IF I WOULD BE LUSTING AND WANTING TO ROMP AN OLD VILE THING THAT'S A VAMPIRE! AND A MALE ON TOP OF THAT!
["A male on top of that?" Hmmm…would this thought be coming somewhere from the dark and hidden recesses of your subconscious mind? Gabriel, the first step to over coming this passionate obsession with me is to quite denying the facts and the evidence. And I disagree to that first part! I am NOT a vile thing. I am…older than average and a vampire. True. And I agree with the part of you lusting after me and wanting to "romp" me.]
Gabriel shuddered in disgust. I have virgin ears, Dracula. As long as you'll be living in my HEAD you'll show some manners. One being, no insulting me. Two being, DON'T SAY SHIT LIKE THAT!
["Shit?" "Shit" like what?]
I don't want to hear about your revolting FANTASIES! Keeping them to your bloody self in the near future! There's NOTHING sexual between us! END OF STORY!
[But Gabriel…they're your revolting fantasies. I didn't bring the words lust and sex up until you did.]
Dracula, would you like to know something…a theory I have come up with concerning you and me?
[I don't desire you.]
No, of course not! Gabriel grinned. But please do hear my theory…
Dracula sighed. [Very well, Gabriel. What is your theory?]
Thank you oh prince of leeches other wise known as the common Transylvanian pest, vampires, for deciding to listen to a holy man! Van Helsing thought sarcastically. The theory is that all vampires have led such lonely and isolated lives with depression and the bipolar disorder that loneliness feels like insanity so sex is a release to them. So naturally, of course, from sexual frustration and unrequited love and etc., they feel a tendency and urge to want to jump and attack everything sexually besides biting them and all they think of besides blood is sex. It makes perfect sense. It's a perfect explanation for why you had three wives and why you were also known as the ladies man in your day and even centuries forward in this modern day. Sex - sex - sex - sex - sex - and - blood - blood - blood - blood - blood!
Silence. Van Helsing felt like crying from joy and relief when the dreaded beast's voice was heard. [What in hell…do you think of in your spare time? And let me clarify some things, my idiotic insane lunatic enemy. A vampire isn't related to a leech and I do NOT like being compared to one. I am NOT a pest to Transylvanians. I was and still am their prince. You ALSO have a very large misconception of vampires. We are NOT depressed pathetic little things like human beings nor are we bipolar. And we do NOT want to bite and fuck everything that's alive and moves, Gabriel! And I have the right to marry whomever I want and have as many wives as I want. Vampires are just naturally charming. It doesn't necessarily make me a "ladies man." And we DO think of more things than BLOOD and SEX! I think of killings for one.]
You're not supposed to have that many wives though. It goes against the bible. Everybody knows that. OK, change of strategy Gabriel knew, make him annoyed.
[My very existence goes against the bible. If you're going to go against the bible, you might as well do everything against the bible, don't you think?]
I wouldn't know. I AM a holy man AFTER ALL. Not that you would forget that…though maybe age is getting to you…
[Do you want to know something that will horrify you, little Gabriel?]
Talking to you is horrifying Dracula. Having you in my head is also horrifying. I think ever having to see your face was enough to make God scream like a woman. But no, go ahead, horrify me more. If I can be horrified anymore…
[YOU - ARE - AS - OLD - AS - ME. SURPRISE! Now what WERE you saying about my age?]
You might have grey hairs.
[Be silent you abhorrent ill-bred idiot!]
YOU BE SILENT! I JUST WANT TO CHANGE MY UNDERWEAR IN PEACE! IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK?! GO AWAY IN YOUR IMAGINARY LITTLE COFFIN AND STAY LOCKED UP IN THERE SO I CAN CHANGE AND GET READY TO KILL EVIL THINGS!
[Well…this IS getting very tedious and ennui. Very well. Let's make a compromise. I won't say anything against your race and you won't say anything against mine. Agreed?]
YES! NOW LET ME GET UNDRESSED!
[Well, don't talk to me about it! As if I would LOOK at a man, much less a holy man that wants to kill me.]
Then GO and stay in your little imaginary coffin!
[Don't worry I AM!]
GOOD!
TBC