Disclaimer: I don't own zip. Just the fic. Please don't sue me, I'm just a teenager, and the only thing I could pay you with is crazy hair colour dyes. Unless you really want blue hair…

A/N: I was rereading over the thing I said in my last author notes and my explanation sucked about "if you read vampire fics that is kind of against God…that's my opinion at least." I think some people might take offence to that because I was unclear. I meant people who read vampire fics probably aren't offended easily with things that go against God. That's a bit clear at least. I didn't want any hate reviews or anything. About the boxers thing, I don't know people's underwear looked like in those days so I'm saying boxers. Inaccurate, true. But come on, it's fricking UNDERWEAR for heaven's sake. Who cares?

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I find it easier to sit and stare

Than push my limbs out towards you right

My heart is bursting in your perfect eyes

As blue as oceans and as pure as skies

Spitting Games, by Snow Patrol

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Toward Dawn

Chapter Two - Spitting Games

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Thinking now or never, Gabriel grabbed some underwear from his drawers, quickly tore down his trousers, and then he was left wearing only his boxers. He swallowed uneasily, then licked his lips, and began rubbing his face. Are you in your imaginary coffin or something or whatever the hell you vampires sleep in?

[Wouldn't you like to know. Didn't I tell you that you had an obsess-]

ARE YOU LOOKING AWAY OR NOT?! Gabriel demanded. Having the burden of having Dracula live in his head was really bothering him and was about to drive him to insanity. Having to worry about a thousand year old or however old something evil seeing your package was mortifying. What if he lied and saw something…?

Gabriel heard him sigh impatiently. [Get over it. I'm not interested in you. And I'm not interested in men. And I'm definitely, NOT interested in seeing you naked. So you have no worries of me watching the strip show starring you.]

Do you have to be so - agh - there's not even a word for it! Why do you have to exist?!

[Because…I became a vampire. And will you quit questioning my existence! I'm not exactly alive but I'm here in your HEAD. And I promise you, I am NOT staying in your head for all eternity.]

Fine. Then don't look!

Gabriel heard him sigh. [As I've said before. I'm not going to look at you.]

Close your eyes.

[They all ready are. They have been since I saw you undoing your trousers.]

Gabriel's eyes twitched and felt a sudden need to hit something - especially Dracula's face. Sighing nervously, he took off his underwear reluctantly and quickly got on his new boxers. But Gabriel almost tripped when he heard Dracula's voice.

[Hmmm…no wonder you're still a virgin. That thing is the size of a walnut.]

IT'S NOT SMALL!

[Right…as you say.]

It's NOT SMALL!

[Gabriel. You are the biggest idiot. And that is saying a lot. I thought Igor was the world's number one idiot but I need to make an alteration to that; it's actually you.]

What do you mean?! I'm not an idiot!

[It's called joking. You have heard of a joke, haven't you?]

'Course I have!

[I highly doubt that. Oh well. Moving on. Oh, but by the way, did you hear that click sound when you were changing?]

What click sound? Gabriel thought suspiciously, looking around the room, expecting a monster hiding in the shadows to jump him. What was it with monsters jumping him anyways these days?

[How am I to know? I never jumped you. But I thought I should just let you know about the click sound.]

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(At work in Rome.)

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"Carl…what are these things and why am I naked in them?" Gabriel demanded angrily.

"Oh um…see…I've made a new invention!" Carl said in a squeaky high pitched voice which Gabriel knew from working with Carl for a while, meant he was lying or trying to hide something.

"Would that invention be perhaps made to see me naked?" What was it with him being naked today? he thought.

[I don't want to see you naked. You started the whole naked thing. You should know I don't go back on my word unless there are benefits for me. What kind of benefit would I get seeing you naked? Blindness?]

"Shut up!" Gabriel yelled.

Carl stared speechless at him, trembling underneath Gabriel's fierce gaze. "But I haven't said anything!"

Gabriel could hear Dracula laughing insanely with amusement at Gabriel's stupidity and mistake. Gabriel could see himself all ready, locked up in a dirty room with just a cot and no window, sentenced to live there forever for being thought insane. Why is this happening to me?

Dracula didn't say anything, too busy laughing at the photos, Carl, and Gabriel losing his temper at his frightened friar that was in love with him. It was too much for him. A friar was in love with a man! He'd never forget that! It was actually somewhat pleasant living in Van Helsing's head. He hadn't laughed in the past few centuries. It was a refreshing change to find something unbearably amusing and have his stomach be in pain from laughing so hard.

"Carl - look - I'm sorry! I didn't mean to yell at you! It was an accident! Just tell me why you have photos of me like that and what the hell is that invention? Also, could I borrow it for a few days. I think it would come quite in handy for some sight seeing - "

Carl nervously looked away from Van Helsing, too scared to tell him why he had photos of him naked and he would have to tell him that he was in love with him! Swallowing uneasily, shifting his eyes from Van Helsing's piercing gaze that seemed to know or have a feeling what he was hiding, he took a deep breath. "I made an invention. It was supposed to be blinding light that kills a vampire or at least stuns them, but I've been doing some experimenting and testing and researching and it doesn't work. But I found out it takes portraits of people! So I thought - I - er - well - would take a picture of you."

"Naked." Gabriel didn't make it sound like a question but more of a statement. So he had been right. Carl DID fancy him.

Carl nodded quickly. Gabriel looked away, embarrassed and not knowing what to say. In his head, Dracula was calming down. He sighed, hating to have to ask him something. Much less advice on his love life. What do I do? he thought miserably.

Dracula snorted. [Well…you can "romp" him and fulfil your adult male fantasies. That might even get you over your obsession with me. Hopefully. Or it might make it worse. Or you can turn him down. Tell him you don't love him and get a lock on your door and windows. 'Course that will be difficult sneaking women out but since you're a virgin you have nothing to fear but something to lose.]

Gabriel shivered. That's the last time I ask you for advice. There's too much adult and disturbing things you say along with it.

[Well if you don't want the answer don't ask why or what.]

Stay in hell next time.

[No, it gets too boring down there at times. I'd rather stay here, not in your HEAD but in my castle.]

You should've locked yourself in there and stay there instead of tormenting people, like ME.

[I am not going over the same arguments with you. We both don't want me in here. So we'll have to find a way to get me out of here. Unfortunately, it will be very difficult. It might not just take weeks or months, but it could take years…decades…maybe centuries even…]

NO! Stop that thought! I would rather die than live with you inside my head!

[Same here, only I'm all ready dead. But we can help each other out. There is nothing else to do really. I can help you to lose your virginity for starters!]

No. You're not getting involved with my love life!

[But you invited me to help you.]

I did NOT!

[Yes, you did. In fact, it was only seconds ago. You wanted my advice for what you should do about Carl.]

WELL I DON'T NEED YOUR HELP!

[I think you're racist. Yes, you're racist against all things that aren't "normal" by your standards. Everything can't be tainted for you.]

That's not true! All people are sinners but many people are good and trying to correct their flaws while others, such as yourself, you're doing quite the opposite. It's as if you want to be damned and go to hell. You don't want to ever go to heaven or redeem yourself or be something good. You're damned. You've traded everything good so that you could never go to heaven.

[Shut up. I don't want to hear your terrible theories. The first one was bad enough. If I wasn't dead all ready, I think your theories would kill me.]

Just stay out of my life as much as you can.

[But I'm all ready part of it.]

Gabriel shuddered. I know. That's why I think I'm never going to be able to fall asleep again.

[Oh good. Then we can stay up all night telling stories of women, well, you can tell stories of men, and - ]

Not happening.

[I can teach you how to get women though since you "say" you're not gay!]

How 'bout not.

[Fine but your love is talking to you.]

Gabriel snapped out of it and could hear Carl bawling and saw him at his feet, sobbing loudly and begging for forgiveness, and saying how it was a mistake. Oh God, he thought. When will this end?

[Never. You're immortal, remember?]

Of course I remember. With a evil like you in my head it's hard to enjoy anything since you have to fuck everything up besides biting and on top of fucking everything up you actually DO FUCK everything except trees since they don't move.

[You're very cranky. I think you really need to get laid. By man or woman. See, you can use Carl as your mistress or man whore!]

You're fucking demented.

[Same as you, Gabriel.]

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TBC