Disclaimer: I don't own zip. Just the fic. Please don't sue me, I'm just a teenager, and the only thing I could pay you with is crazy hair colour dyes. Unless you really want green hair…

A/N: J Poor GAYbe, he's going to really suffer in this fic. . .

Also, I'm not saying Europeans are alcoholics. . .but from what I've been told, children in France like say eight or so have a glass of wine at dinner while in America, you're lucky if you can even sneak a sip of your parents wine or whatever on the holidays and you're blessed if you have a friend with connections and knows someone who'll get alcohol for you guys. But the majority of my friends and me have never even had a sip of alcohol because of over protective parents and the law and I guess they want to keep us away from everything that's too adult for us. And I guess it wouldn't be a good thing to get your kid drunk or have your kid drunk at a holiday party. . .

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Toward Dawn

Chapter Seven - Boobies!

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"You know sir, you don't look so well. . .?"

"Yes well, you look like shit," Gabriel retorted at the female bartender who was beautiful with thick wavy blonde hair that reached to the top of her thighs and sapphire eyes with thick black eyelashes.

"Bitch. . ." Gabriel muttered.

The bartender snorted and raised an eyebrow. "You must be gay."

Gabriel groaned and looked away. "Why is everyone saying that today?"

"That was a joke," the bartender said, rolling her eyes. "Well, at least you aren't hitting on me. Anyways, what do you want?"

"(A/N: insert name of alcohol, I'm American not European, so I have no clue about alcohol)."

After the bartender left Dracula began talking again.

[There went your chance. A beautiful one night stand you let slip through your grasp that would been making you moan things like - ]

Can you not let me get drunk in peace?

[Then where would be the fun?]

Go imagine having sex with the bartender in your imaginary coffin that you never use and leave me alone. There's your fun. Now go jack off or knock up some imaginary woman.

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Later On

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"You're really beautiful. . .and really sexy," Gabriel slurred.

[What a pick up line. . .]

Gabriel didn't notice Dracula though and continued to hit on the bartender who was looking fairly amused at him. Giggling when Gabriel started swaying in his seat, Gabriel asked her what her name was.

"Lucifer."

Gabriel choked and gagged and stared at the bartender in disbelief. "You're named after the devil! What in God's name was your mother on when she gave birth to you, assuming she named you?"

Having dealt with worse before the bartender merely shrugged and continued working on cleaning a glass. "Lucifer means light bearer and well, my mother. . .from what I've heard. . .was a bit. . .odd and very unique. A real catch, though."

Gabriel shrugged too. Not thinking in his right mind from the alcohol he began staring at the bartenders ample breasts from the corset and dark purple low cut dress. "You have really big boobies, Miss. . .er Lucifer. . .or whatever your name is. . .can I touch them?"

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Much Later On

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The bartender or Miss Lucifer and Gabriel were kissing passionately in Gabriel's room and though Gabriel was inexperienced, the bartender couldn't tell and was moaning so much along with Gabriel, that Dracula who had gone off in his imaginary coffin with imaginary ear plugs could hear both of them.

[Lucifer! I did NOT need to hear that coming from Gabriel's mouth! I will never be able to sleep again. . .After this unfortunate event with being imprisoned in his filthy perverted mind, I will no doubt be mental. Damn you Gabriel, for billionth and one time.]

Soon the moans had increased in frequency and volume and was driving Dracula mad. The only pleasure Dracula had was from seeing the low cut dark velvet purple dress slip lower. . .revealing a generous amount of her breasts that had caught his attention. Gabriel hissed and broke away from the bartender who Dracula was happily watching as her chest heaved up and down with her heavy breathing.

"I. . .I. . .Can't do this."

Dracula yelping in surprise from Gabriel's answer began yelling at him. [WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! MISS LUCIFER AKA MISS BOOBIES IS PANTING IN LUST FOR YOU AND YOU'RE JUST GOING TO LET HER GO? ARE YOU INSANE? ARE YOU SOME KIND OF ASEXUAL SEXUALLY DEPRIVED - ]

GET BACK IN YOUR COFFIN!

[NO! WE'RE ABOUT TO LOSE A GOOD SHOW WITH BOOBIES ON LUCIFER RIGHT NOW! YOU PUT THAT MORAL AND VALUES AND CHURCH SHIT BEHIND YOU NOW AND YOU UNZIP YOUR TROUSERS AND HER KNOCK HER UP GOOD SO THAT WE'RE NOT LISTENING TO TWO FRIAR MEN HAVING A ROMP ON A SATURDAY NIGHT IN THE ROOM NEXT DOOR! NOW I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'VE BEEN DOING ALL THESE CENTURIES BUT I'M NOT THE VIRGIN MARY AND I'M NOT A SAINT AND THIS IS THE ONLY PLEASURABLE AND ENTERTAINING THING THAT'LL I'LL HAVE BEING INSIDE YOUR HEAD! NOW I DEMAND YOU UNDO YOUR ZIPPER AND GET ON TOP OF HER YOU ASEXUAL PATHETIC VIRGIN - ]

WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU? MY LIBIDO?

[YES! IF I HAVE TO! YES! I WILL BE YOUR LIBIDO! 'HELLO, WE HAVE NOT SPOKEN BEFORE UNTIL NOW AND YOU NEED TO KNOCK THIS GIRL UP BECAUSE IF YOU DON'T YOU WILL BE KNOWN AS A PATHETIC AND SAD - ]

FINE! I'LL KNOCK HER UP NOW GO AWAY! GO TO YOUR FUCKING COFFIN ALL READY!

[THANK YOU! NOW GO GET HIM. . .er. . .HER!]

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TBC

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