A/N:- hmm, sorry for taking so so long to update. I've had some commitments
and school stuff. and on top of that writer's block. Anyhow, I wrote this
in less than an hour so it's not really edited or anything. I don't know
the meaning of edit. Never have. Anyway, enjoy, review, criticize,
whichever, I just want some feedback.
IN THE EYES OF A GRAY
Greetings distant and blissful-
-father they are not 'blissful', don't assume, you ass! And they're not distant. hm.
D-gray! ... They are blissful, for they know not of our existence, and ignorance is bliss as great past philosophers had put it.
-father, great philosophers had also said that there is a legendary alchemist's chemical that allows long life and turns all base metals into gold.
There is isn't there?
-father, the shiolopter is not a chemical!! And more importantly, back to the point, the humans do not live in bliss, do you read or listen to their earth media?
But one of their sovereigns just celebrated a birthday! and half the world don't know about it!!
-father it's not that they don't know, they just don't care... can you see the difference? Anyway, get on with your report, Above Gray wasn't happy that you wasted half the yuin to argue in your last report. I have to say, I'm disappointed, I thought you knew how to operate the recorder.
Fine, I'll start it then.
Greetings impressionable earthlings. As established earlier I am Prime 388 and my present partner is Prime 387. For the earthlings who are somewhat confused to why I must state this in every field report, I must do so for the storage archive which will file this report, and sometimes the purpose of this reiteration of my file number is to remind Above Gray who I am as there are many Grays who sound similar.
To get on with the dot, the purpose of this field report is to document our ploy to uncover the existence of 'aliens' on earth to Agents Mulder and Scully. The reason why we have been unable to do so previously is mainly centred on our ridiculous and often bad timing, like the time when we thought that Mulder and Scully would believe us if they were trapped, then they escaped and Scully thought of a perfect 'scientific' explanation.
Explain this Scully! How can two people, seemingly unconscious, I might add, 'hallucinate' identical things without actually having witnessed them or through a suspended animation machine? All my hard work, to be torn down by the close minded psyche of the Scully mind! If she can love that fat, hairy, teeth-having oaf Mulder why can't she admit the existence of ALIENS? What's so difficult?!
-father, ranting is not the purpose of this report post, talk about your dismal failure with the implants.
It was not a complete failure!
-really? That's not what the information says father. Even you reported it as a- I quote- 'discordinate, oafish blunder unsurpassed by the greatest fool in King Lear's kingdom.'
Not on the report D-gray!
-sorry father.
*sigh*
The Implants.
Perhaps what I had neglected to mention to report auditors as I began was the fact that I have now an enlarged chest cavity as a punishment for my failure to connect the neck implant in many an abductee's neck to our existence.
The neck implant is, I mean, was our greatest victory, it was a 'potato' -as humans put it- that was able to stimulate responses of paranoia. A silly nonsensical device, you may think, but this is not so. This device was most useful to us grays as we would implant it into pesky humans to not only track them but stimulate a sense of paranoia which would drive them away from our communal areas.
We had implanted one into Scully, hoping that because of Mulder's indescribable sense of self-centeredness he would be led towards us, or at least a communal area to witness some of our activities, all the while figuring out that every time Scully felt paranoid there would be a strong sense of 'alien encounter' in the breathing gas.
This ploy had worked magically, however, for a long period of time Scully was missing and in hospital due to a malfu nctioning part of the potato chip.
-it's just 'chip' father. The potato is the staple diet of the Incas.
Oh. Well, the malfunctioning chip caused a malfunction of Agent Scully's cells. For a long while we thought we had caused her cancer. We had not, although that may have caused Mulder to search harder and find us.
Sometimes, I ask Prime Gray why we don't just suddenly walk out in public to expose the existence of aliens. He seemed unphased by the question and replied that-
-you're an idiot.
No, he replied that it was because the humans might start to panic and some grays would conclude that if we could walk out into the street and expose our own existence then we could also dominate their culture and kick their children as they kick us- when we are disguised as other things which are not grays.
Anyway, the chip seemed to work fine for a while before Agent Scully was admitted into the hospital. Personally with all her scars I am amazed that even with 'cancer' she had managed to escape being infected by golden staff. This was the same strain that we released into that hospital previously in an undocumented attempt to eradicate Diana Fowley #3347. Needless to say, the 'golden staff' infection hadn't solved our problem.
-father, the implant.
Yes, the implant. With Scully in the hospital, Mulder overcame his selfishness and turned his negative energy into a crusade to find a cure for Agent Scully by trying to find the manufacturers and therefore antidote for the implant.
This led him to the store house that we had prepared. This store-house was our purpose, if Mulder had looked closely he would have found all that he ever wanted to prove about our existence, from the first great landing of Beyond Gray and a linear timeline of his descendants through to Above Gray.
Anyway, The chip in the box that he found was supposed to refer him to a bogus company that we had set up to lead him to us. This was where the prodigious plan failed. On closer inspection of the chip it had seemed that we had forgotten to remove the identification of the American government and replace it with our own.
Therefore All we managed to prove to Agent's Mulder and Scully was that there is a definite government conspiracy taking place.
On finding out that we had failed our mission again, the Shadow President of America and Above Gray were not pleased and requested in none too nice terms for me to get an implant myself for a month.
As it turns out, I have obviously gotten the directory mixed up again and received a different implant from the one that I had intended.
The grays refuse to let me exchange this one awkward moving 'breast'.
END OF EPISODE 4.
A/N:- so what did you think? A complete load of rubbish? I think you can kinda Skip chapter 4 and 5 because I'm writing these now, personally I think I've lost my sense of funny humour. Even the blatant 'man slips on banana peel' isn't funny, it's crossed over to 'man sidesteps to avoid banana peel and falls into manhole', stupid irony.
Anyway, review, please.
-kenobi.
IN THE EYES OF A GRAY
Greetings distant and blissful-
-father they are not 'blissful', don't assume, you ass! And they're not distant. hm.
D-gray! ... They are blissful, for they know not of our existence, and ignorance is bliss as great past philosophers had put it.
-father, great philosophers had also said that there is a legendary alchemist's chemical that allows long life and turns all base metals into gold.
There is isn't there?
-father, the shiolopter is not a chemical!! And more importantly, back to the point, the humans do not live in bliss, do you read or listen to their earth media?
But one of their sovereigns just celebrated a birthday! and half the world don't know about it!!
-father it's not that they don't know, they just don't care... can you see the difference? Anyway, get on with your report, Above Gray wasn't happy that you wasted half the yuin to argue in your last report. I have to say, I'm disappointed, I thought you knew how to operate the recorder.
Fine, I'll start it then.
Greetings impressionable earthlings. As established earlier I am Prime 388 and my present partner is Prime 387. For the earthlings who are somewhat confused to why I must state this in every field report, I must do so for the storage archive which will file this report, and sometimes the purpose of this reiteration of my file number is to remind Above Gray who I am as there are many Grays who sound similar.
To get on with the dot, the purpose of this field report is to document our ploy to uncover the existence of 'aliens' on earth to Agents Mulder and Scully. The reason why we have been unable to do so previously is mainly centred on our ridiculous and often bad timing, like the time when we thought that Mulder and Scully would believe us if they were trapped, then they escaped and Scully thought of a perfect 'scientific' explanation.
Explain this Scully! How can two people, seemingly unconscious, I might add, 'hallucinate' identical things without actually having witnessed them or through a suspended animation machine? All my hard work, to be torn down by the close minded psyche of the Scully mind! If she can love that fat, hairy, teeth-having oaf Mulder why can't she admit the existence of ALIENS? What's so difficult?!
-father, ranting is not the purpose of this report post, talk about your dismal failure with the implants.
It was not a complete failure!
-really? That's not what the information says father. Even you reported it as a- I quote- 'discordinate, oafish blunder unsurpassed by the greatest fool in King Lear's kingdom.'
Not on the report D-gray!
-sorry father.
*sigh*
The Implants.
Perhaps what I had neglected to mention to report auditors as I began was the fact that I have now an enlarged chest cavity as a punishment for my failure to connect the neck implant in many an abductee's neck to our existence.
The neck implant is, I mean, was our greatest victory, it was a 'potato' -as humans put it- that was able to stimulate responses of paranoia. A silly nonsensical device, you may think, but this is not so. This device was most useful to us grays as we would implant it into pesky humans to not only track them but stimulate a sense of paranoia which would drive them away from our communal areas.
We had implanted one into Scully, hoping that because of Mulder's indescribable sense of self-centeredness he would be led towards us, or at least a communal area to witness some of our activities, all the while figuring out that every time Scully felt paranoid there would be a strong sense of 'alien encounter' in the breathing gas.
This ploy had worked magically, however, for a long period of time Scully was missing and in hospital due to a malfu nctioning part of the potato chip.
-it's just 'chip' father. The potato is the staple diet of the Incas.
Oh. Well, the malfunctioning chip caused a malfunction of Agent Scully's cells. For a long while we thought we had caused her cancer. We had not, although that may have caused Mulder to search harder and find us.
Sometimes, I ask Prime Gray why we don't just suddenly walk out in public to expose the existence of aliens. He seemed unphased by the question and replied that-
-you're an idiot.
No, he replied that it was because the humans might start to panic and some grays would conclude that if we could walk out into the street and expose our own existence then we could also dominate their culture and kick their children as they kick us- when we are disguised as other things which are not grays.
Anyway, the chip seemed to work fine for a while before Agent Scully was admitted into the hospital. Personally with all her scars I am amazed that even with 'cancer' she had managed to escape being infected by golden staff. This was the same strain that we released into that hospital previously in an undocumented attempt to eradicate Diana Fowley #3347. Needless to say, the 'golden staff' infection hadn't solved our problem.
-father, the implant.
Yes, the implant. With Scully in the hospital, Mulder overcame his selfishness and turned his negative energy into a crusade to find a cure for Agent Scully by trying to find the manufacturers and therefore antidote for the implant.
This led him to the store house that we had prepared. This store-house was our purpose, if Mulder had looked closely he would have found all that he ever wanted to prove about our existence, from the first great landing of Beyond Gray and a linear timeline of his descendants through to Above Gray.
Anyway, The chip in the box that he found was supposed to refer him to a bogus company that we had set up to lead him to us. This was where the prodigious plan failed. On closer inspection of the chip it had seemed that we had forgotten to remove the identification of the American government and replace it with our own.
Therefore All we managed to prove to Agent's Mulder and Scully was that there is a definite government conspiracy taking place.
On finding out that we had failed our mission again, the Shadow President of America and Above Gray were not pleased and requested in none too nice terms for me to get an implant myself for a month.
As it turns out, I have obviously gotten the directory mixed up again and received a different implant from the one that I had intended.
The grays refuse to let me exchange this one awkward moving 'breast'.
END OF EPISODE 4.
A/N:- so what did you think? A complete load of rubbish? I think you can kinda Skip chapter 4 and 5 because I'm writing these now, personally I think I've lost my sense of funny humour. Even the blatant 'man slips on banana peel' isn't funny, it's crossed over to 'man sidesteps to avoid banana peel and falls into manhole', stupid irony.
Anyway, review, please.
-kenobi.