Disclaimer: I dont own any of the characters mentioned in this fic, nor Hogwarts (well, who in my mind is a character). Jk Rowling does. She and warner brothers and whoever else has any rights to Harry Potter books. This is not intended for profit, only for fun, and I in no way claim to be talented.
Character Pairings: Severus Snape/Nymphadora Tonks
Warnings: Mild use of language, adult situations, possible slight ooc (though i try desperately to avoid that)
This contains no overly complex plot, and is written mainly to make people smile while hopefully avoiding being overly cheesy although I do NOT mind cheesy, so..yeah
A/N: I grew fascinated with (after reading several that made me shudder) the idea of if a Snape-Tonks romance could be pulled off even halfway believably, without going horribly ooc on the characters or making it gag-a-maggot sweet. I dont know for sure if everything is going to work out in the end, it may not do so. Keeps it interesting for me. If you spot any errors in any of the chapters, please leave them in a review so I can correct them (thanks to my beta for suggesting this--revised note May 9,2004)
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"Allllright...Slytherins and Gryffindors rivalry is still a main thing, I see," Tonks muttered as she sat on front side of her desk and waited for everyone to get into the room. Harry and company were still right outside the door exchanging words with Malfoy and two she'd nicknamed Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum the minute she saw them running (well, lumbering actually) around the school. 'C'mon Harry. Get yer arse in here. I don't want to yell. I really don't want to-' The bell rang, and although Hermione hurried inside, the rest of them still showed no inclination of stepping into the room. 'Allllrighty then.' "OI! YOU NERDS! YES, YOU TWO! THE ONES FIGHTING LIKE AN OLD MARRIED COUPLE AND THEIR CHILDREN! GET YER ARSES IN HERE!"
At the yell, everyone in the class went perfectly quiet in shocked silence as the ones she'd yelled at came in to the room, their faces burning hotly, and took their seats. Then, almost as if she'd held a cue card for laughter up, someone started laughing and it spread like wildfire until even Hermione's lips were twitching. The bushy haired girl nudged Harry, and Tonks could make out her saying, "Well, you did deserve it" to him. Harry kept his eyes determinedly on the book in front of him, and Tonks sighed. 'Perhaps it wasn't the BEST way to get their attention.'
Malfoy had no problem with keeping his eyes on her though, and she could practically feel the boy's hatred from here. Raising a brow, she let her eyes travel across the room to the slim blonde, and smiled brightly at him. He mouthed something indistinct although she could see "my father" and Tonks snorted. "could give Lockhart a run for his money in sheer stupidity," she mouthed back at him, and then cleared her throat. "Okay you lot. Shut up."
The class fell silent and she grinned bravely at them. "Now, I'm Tonks. You will call me Professor Tonks or just Tonks. I will not tell you my first name, so don't even think of asking. It's horrid. I was an Auror. Just taking some time off to see if I can teach you lot. Your former professor, Lupin, said you're teachable enough." Her eyes darted to Malfoy. She really didn't understand the boy, cousin or not. 'It must just be the Malfoy blood,' She thought. "Once you get over some serious who's the boss issues. So let's make this clear enough." Her eyes went back to the class in general. "If you think you're better'n me, get front and center right now and I'll duel ya. Got me?"
They chorused "Yes, Professor Tonks", and she stared at them, then shuddered once. A cursory glance around the room showed Malfoy fidgeting, but other than that, no signs of anyone wanting to approach and duel her. Another minute passed, and then she grinned. "Right. Now, I hate homework, so I say I'd hate grading homework anymore, which means you'll rarely get theory stuff." That caused a cheer. "HOWEVER: You should expect lots of practical stuff..." her eyes met Hermione's and Ron's, and thankfully, Harry's and she gave them a small smile, "and I WILL initiate duels myself, and assign someone to attack another one of you out of the blue. You will learn to be on your guard at all times. CONSTANT VIGILIANCE!" she ended on a bark and then laughed at the expression on all their faces. "That said, I need someone to tell me what was the last thing the majority of you have practiced...even independently from class."
As expected, Hermione's hand shot up, and she nodded at her. The girl immediately recited most of what they'd studied last year in the DA and after she was done, Tonks merely blinked once and said: "Alright then, everyone on your feet, wands out, clear the desks to the sides of the room, and get ready to go over a few blocks."
It was amazing how fast the kids could move when motivated.
As soon as they had cleared everything to the sides, Tonks lined them up, alternating Slytherins and Gryffindors. The dirty looks they tossed each other were almost unbelievable and gave her an idea. "I was going to do something different...but, seeing how all of you are, I have an idea." Mischievousness danced in her eyes, and she took out her own wand. "Free for all."
Malfoy smirked.
Tonks aimed her wand subtly in his direction. "Only thing is, no Unforgiveables, and no permanent curses. One two three GO!" She counted so fast for a second no one reacted, then Malfoy opened his mouth to utter a curse. "Impedimentia," she whispered.
The next thing she knew she was spelling up a block against Petrificus Totalis and dodging a jelly-legs curse from Hermione. A wicked grin curved her lips. She shouted a battle cry and started firing spells randomly. It shifted quickly from attack the teacher to a full out battle, with students keeling over left and right. "CONFISCATE!" she yelled, and began scooping up wands from frozen or stupefied students. Malfoy managed to get Harry's with an Expelliarmus, but he retaliated by grabbing a petrified Ron's wand and yelling a curse that made Malfoy grow an extra leg and arm, then Expelliarmus-ed and got his wand and Malfoy's. With a grin he aimed them both at the awkwardly balancing boy and shouted "Stupefy."
The blonde-haired ferret dropped like a ton of bricks.
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Looking back as she levitated four kids to the hospital wing, Tonks could tell that after teaching them a block, maybe declaring it a free for all wasn't the smartest idea. But she'd thought surely it would teach them to be on their guard. It probably would have went over a little bit if it hadn't been Gryffindors and Slytherins.
She didn't know the runts KNEW that many spells.
No wonder Severus qualified himself so much. It was necessary just to survive.
Merlin, she had a lot to learn.
Reaching the doors of the hospital wing, she yelled for Pomfrey who threw open the doors and after taking the scene in, gave Tonks an amazed and disapproving look. "Should I be expecting this regularly?" she asked harshly as she took control of two of the students and pointed towards the beds. When Tonks had laid her two down, she looked at Pomfrey and gave a crooked grin.
"If I say probably, are you going to curse me?"
Pomfrey nodded.
Tonks gulped and ran for it.
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Lunch was a bit uncomfortable for Tonks. By this time most of the teachers had heard about her first class, and although the second one was considerably tamer, Tonks knew she was in for it.
No sooner had she sat down, in between Snape and McGonagall than the transfigurations teacher turned to her with a tight-lipped smile and asked if she had enjoyed her first experience as a teacher.
Right then Nymphadora had a seriously childish urge to throw a scoop of her mashed potatoes in Minerva's face. Instead she smiled back and shrugged her shoulders. "Rocky start, but rather fun all together. You know, get Slytherins and Gryffindors together in a free for all, and you really gotta learn to watch your arse. 'Bout as bad as a Death Eater fight. Talk about keeping fit! More teachers should do it!"
The scandalized look on McGonagall's face was well worth any discomfort she suffered. Especially the pain on her arse from where'd she'd been hit by Harry with Furnuculus right on the rear. From her other side she heard a muffled laugh, and turned towards Severus with a cheeky grin while McGonagall turned with relief towards Dumbledore, relishing in the easy, expected conversation with the slightly insane headmaster.
"Something funny, Sev," a delicate cough, "erus, dear?" 'Funny how quick that man can change facial expressions,' she thought to herself as he got the familiar sneer on his face. In the moment, she named it the Cob sneer, for it was the one he always wore when he had a figurative cob up his rear.
"Do NOT call me by any of those appalling pet names, Tonks."
"Sorry, macho man, forgot about your precious dignity," Tonks returned softly and sweetly, fluttering her mauve lashes at him.
"Woman..." he muttered, glaring at her, and it was too much. Tonks couldn't resist.
Reaching a hand out, she laid it on his arm and looked up at him with an expression of total innocence. "I love you too, Man."
Laughter broke out at the teachers' tables from Hagrid and surprisingly enough- McGonagall, who couldn't help but overhear. Tonks was the ONLY one that would ever dare talk like that to Severus. They quickly quieted at the looks of amazement from quite a few of the students in the Great Hall, many who gaped to see Tonks looking so personal with the Potions Master.
Severus narrowed his eyes at Tonks, and then smirked. Two could play at that game.
Leaning forward, he inclined his head towards hers, moving to whisper in her ear. "You do know what this looks like, don't you?" He brought one hand up to cup at her shoulder, and squeezed it playfully. "Shame on you, making out with the greasy Potions Master; at the Great Hall nonetheless. Is this your work ethic?" Snape leaned back and smirked smugly at her then, noting the absolute quiet of the students.
Tonks stared at him with wide bright brown eyes for a long second, not believing he'd retaliated like he did, and then she reacted. Her head thrown back, Tonks' laughter echoed throughout the hall. "Severus Snape..." she gasped out a minute later, not oblivious to the scene around her, just not particularly caring. "You're adorable."
Flushing as sniggers and snickers began to escalate in the room at this announcement of hers, Snape rose to his feet and made a sharp half-bow to the teachers. "I have work to do," he said, then turned and strode from the hall with a stormy expression on his face.
'How the hell does that woman always get one up on me?'
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No sooner had he exited the Great Hall than the mark on his arm began to burn and he surreptitiously clutched at it, frowning. Voldemort rarely called during the day. Looking around him, Snape strode off as quickly as he could towards his chambers to grab his mask and scribble a quick note to Albus telling him where he was going.
Then he was almost running out of Hogwarts, towards the Apparation limit in the forest, slipping his mask on as soon as he was within the shadows created by the trees. A moment later he was gone, apparating blindly through his mark and appearing at Voldemort's feet.
Quickly, after paying obeisance to the Dark Lord, Severus snatched glimpses of the area around him out of the corners of his eyes as he stood. 'Merlin...' He had been called alone.
That meant the Dark Lord had a special task for him.
"Tell me, Severus, are the rumours of a Metamorphmagus teaching Defense Against the Dark Arts for Dumbledore now, true?"
'Oh hell.'
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A/N: I can't believe the nice responses I've been getting so far! Thanks to everyone who's reviewed, and please, feel free to tell me if I've missed anything, or spelled something wrong...whatever. Only through input can I do a proper job :) Also: taking recommendations for scenes. If I use one you suggest, I'll credit you for it :)
ddrinki4: Its alright :) glad to know you're still around :) I hope you liked this chapter, if not, tell me why, and maybe I'll be able to do something about it :) Thanks!
Alarase: Thank you! and I use for thoughts because I can't remember how to do the italics properly. (I write this on notepad only)
TeenTypist: Thanks! It's strange how different people have different tastes. My favourite line when the whole thing was written was the crack about Nynniphadora (but then again I've got a reaaaallly cheesy sense of humour)
Ella Palladino: Whoever said cheesy WASN'T good? I love cheesy! Thanks for reviewing and mentioning those scenes :)
I lov Redheads w/ Fangs: Thanks! Yer wish is my command, cap'n!