A/N : views and ideas in this piece may not represent the views and ideas of the author. Bearing that in mind, this is supposed to be funny. So, lets just all forget who we are and just have a laugh at ourselves and each other. If you are offended, here's some advice; "Go make your own country and disconnect smiles ciao."

IN THE EYES OF A GRAY

EPISODE 8

Greetings earthlings and fellow grays. I am Prime 388 and my partner is Prime 387. Our prime purpose for being on Earth is to help agents Mulder and Scully prove that aliens of all sorts are in fact, real.

Today, I'm looking into the past.

In the past we have tried many methods of creating something that agents Mulder and Scully would listen to and believe.

Once, we went back through time to create a president to tell agents Mulder and Scully that aliens really do exist. It was after we created President Nixon that we realised that agents Mulder and Scully weren't even old enough to understand yet.

Once we sent Prime 7 to dress like President Clinton, then when in the middle of his speech he tried to pull the mask off, but it would not budge and later we had a very hard time explaining to the public why President Clinton was attempting to yank his head off. we were of course in human form.

In the past, we have starred in movies to help agents Mulder and Scully 'believe'. We are in one of agent Mulder's favourites, 'Attack from Mars'. Apparently the directors said that we were too normal lookingand so we had to superglue huge, heavy and vein-y domes to our heads that took us a whole week to take off. And we were in 'The Day the Earth Stood Still'. The directors thought that we looked too ugly, so we had to wear stupid, glumpy and sweaty space suits.

We have also made independent movies, such as 'The in, in tapestry' and 'Shit faced 1' and 'Shit faced 2', only no one ever heard of them and everyone who did was immediately admitted to a hospital and given an unsuccessful brain transplant before agents Mulder and Scully could interview them. Only one of the people survived the 'brain transplant', which as we later discovered was conducted by AD Skinner. The man survived but then the next day, he disappeared when he fell down a mysterious looking hole, which we later discovered was also dug out by AD Skinner.

So, after all our failed missions we created Suddam Hussein from our gene vats. He was supposed to become the president of some country then tell the world about us. When we were finished with him we sent our creation out to the world. He never came back. Something went wrong in his circuitry and he started to talk in code from then on. About half a year later, he developed multiple personality syndrome, and started to call himself 'poop-y face', 'madam Towa', and a host of other names. Not long after that he was admitted to a hospital for the criminally insane because he shot his right hand man then went and bragged about it all day in the name of 'Madam Towa'. The country went through an almost lifelong search to find a 'Madam Towa', but had no such luck. So they went back to Saddam to ask him who the hell 'Madam Towa' was, so he told them that he was Madam Towa. That was also when they found out he had MPS. So they immediately admitted him.

Before Mulder and Scully, we went to Adolf Hitler to tell him to tell the world. Although our interest in him quickly faded, because on the night we proceeded to greet him, he thought we were the people who played around on his make-up table. The next night we went back with orders from Prime 1 with orders to tell him the truth about us. When we told him, the big wuss who wasn't afraid of anything pissed his pants.

Ancient Egypt is a very good example of gray workings. I mean, it was me who created the designs for those pyramids, I even made the name up. Then those pathetic mongulated pathetic humans who looked like apes, wait that was the time of the dinosaurs and they were apes. Anyway, back to Egypt, it was my idea and they took all the credit. And do you want to know what its held up by? Well, I refuse to tell, lest you will gain all the credit of my hard work also.

And do you know how killer bees were made? Originally we had given humans the right formula to cure all diseases, then when we were faxing them the message, a nine year old Diana Fowley screwed the message and continued to send the fax. And that's how Earth got its killer bees.

In the past we trialed the area of entertainment and we formed a cocktail of quartets. They involved Prime 9, 90, 378 and me, Prime 388. We went to get registered but we were kicked out for having the most dull name 'The Grays are Here' in the history of bands having dull names. About two weeks later we had gone back with the name 'The Bald Guys Called Grays are Coming, wait, wait, wait, they're here'. We got kicked out again. We finally gave up after about two years, but during that time we came up with names such as; 'come to the grays', 'the grays love ya', 'believe in the grays', 'gather round and sing with the grays', 'crowded grays', 'love the grays', 'come with the grays', 'the grays will move ya', 'grays', 'grays-some', 'the grays are gonna hit you, but not very hard I don't think', 'play with the grays', 'be one with the grays', 'party with the grays', 'call out to the grays', 'touch the grays', 'have a photo with the grays', 'meet the grays', 'think of the grays, 'cos they're all around ya', and 'the Gray-tles'. We were fired at for some of those suggestions.

But now in the nineties we have been focusing most of our attentions to Mulder and Scully.

END OF EPISODE EIGHT

A/N : Lots of inaccuracies, i know!! but i wrote this in the nineties and have no heart to change it! Plus I was at a stage when i liked to believe that I knew everything and could comprehend all the things that were going on around me. I've realised that this is not the case, nor could it ever be.

review?