Chapter 4-
Great...I am so happy..that I did that now I will be Craig's shoulder to cry on and he'll definitely take me back. I hope...I started to cry as I went to Craig's locker. I had to seem like I really cared about that freak.
"Craig...I am so sorry for what happened to Ashley the other day." I said squinting my eyes making it seem like I was crying. "Oh Manny" he said while giving me a hug "She's dead" I said..yes I started to get some tears. "It' o.k." he said I backed off of him. Since when is it o.k. for your girlfriend to be dead. "Are you serious" I said wiping away my fake tears with my just manicured hands. "Yeah she's not dead...she's in a comma isn't that great." he said giving me a hug and picking me up in the air. "I mean that means that she still has a chance of living " he said with a smile "Yeah great" I said patting him on the back. "Craig..I got to go...home...you know...my dad..needs me." As soon as I said that I ran out of the school.
I got home "Papa" I said out of breath. Yes he wasn't home..:so I screamed really loud. I'm so mad..Craig doesn't even know why I need him..he doesn't get why he means so much to me...he wouldn't understand why I would do anything to get him back. I need someone to love me right now...a man not a boy like J.T...I need someone to love me because right now....I'm the only one giving out love. After I had my abortion my mom left...she left us....saying she couldn't handle me...and that our family had to many problems. After my mom left my dad started coming home late....and drinking....and hurting...never mind ....but now I have to take care of him...it's more like I'm on my own. Because his sorry ass won't do a damn thing. After I caught my breath I ran to my room and dropped my back pack on the ground and opened my underwear drawer thats where I keep all my privet or important things and looked through it. The first thing I saw was my cutting device well it was the inside of a mechanical pencile..you know the sharp part but I only used it once because I herd thats how that Ellie girl relives her pain but it just made it worst for me...I grabbed my cigarettes and my 'coke' and jumped on my bed. I don't consider my self a drug addict but it's the only thing that keeps me sane right now.
"Fuck...I am in so much trouble" I said while lighting my cigarette. I stuck my head out of my window and started smoking because my papa hates people that smoke..and if he found out I did he would kill me. "What am I going to do?" I asked my self while starting to cry "What the hell am I going to do " I shouted again "God please answer me...I need you right now." I said and I threw my cigarette out and shut the window. I'm in so much trouble...I wanted Ashley dead if she gets out of that comma I'm going to be in so much trouble because she is going to tell them what happened. I didn't feel like sniffing so I put it back. And jumped on my bed. And fell asleep
I had the scariest dream...I was in a dark room crying alone...you couldn't see anything all you could here was me crying. When the door suddenly opened and Craig came in "Craig" I said bawling he walked over to me and slapped me really hard...worst than my....and he dose it....never mind about that..but it hurt a lot. "Craig why did you do that?" I asked now kneeling down and sobbing in my hands "Why did I do that?!?!?!" He asked angrily He walked out and brought a body...it was Ashley's she was bloody and her face was messed up and she was still bleeding it looked gross "because you took my heart out and stomped it on the ground. " he said "You hurt Ashley...I knew you weren't OK with us but you didn't have to do this to the love of my life." he said now kneeling on the ground with me and crying "Craig I did it for us" I kept on repeating to him " I did it for us" I said out loud and then I woke up panting with sweat and tears on my face I looked at the clock and it was already 11:00
I went into the bathroom and took a shower...when I got out I looked at my self in the mirror and started to scream my face was all cut up with what seemed like knife markings ..and..and then Ashley's face came to the mirror "I'm going to tell...I'm going to tell..I'm going to tell everyone what you did to me bitch." she said and then she was gone and I looked normal again.
The next day Craig asked me to come to visit Ashley's so we could pray for her or something and he said he would take that shift so her parents could go take a shower and do there normal stuff. I said yes because I was going to be with Craig. I met him there and he was talking to her so I didn't want to disturb so I stood by the door way. "I am so sorry this happened to you." He said crying "Ashley come back to me please...please" he said now resting his head on her stomach "I need you right now Ashley..your my world...I love you...." He said bawling his face was red and you could see the saliva when ever he talked. "I didn't think what I did would affect him this much" I said out loud shit I hate when I do that Craig looked at me "What did you say?" he asked "Oh I'm sorry for disturbing you..I said I didn't think what happened to Ash..would ...affect us this much..." I said while walking closer to Craig " I didn't say anything because you were having your bonding moment with Ash...ley" I said sitting down next to him "Thank you for coming..I didn't want to be a lone " he said smiling at me. I bet it was a cheesy smile...because it didn't look like a Craig smile but hey it worked. "Anytime" I said
We sat there for about 3 hours talking and praying...and playing...and ' crying ' and stuff like that. Craig and I were talking about how cute Marco and Dylan looked together when we herd a moan "Ashley" Craig said looking at her "Craig" she managed to get out "Ashley..is that...you...your here...your awake." he said now starting to cry from joy. Shit...she can't see me she'll tell him..and he'll hate me with a passion so I got up and walked over to the door way again."Ashley who did this to you" he asked looking in her eyes with concern "It was.." she started to say but then she coughed. "It was.." Then the the beeping thing slowly started to stop beep...beep....beep..."Ashley baby hurry tell me so I can go kick there ass" Craig said starting to cry beep....beep....beep..."It was..." she started again beep...beep....beep...beep...............beep..beep..beep...beep...beep..............................."Craig I'm so sorry" I said now really crying because of how bad I felt for Craig. "She's gone Manny" he said crying "She's gone" I ran over to him and we grasped each other "shh.it's all going to be o.k." I said as I rocked him back and forth "It's all going to be o.k."