Disclaimer: I dont own any of the characters mentioned in this fic, nor Hogwarts (well, who in my mind is a character). Jk Rowling does. She and warner brothers and whoever else has any rights to Harry Potter books. This is not intended for profit, only for fun, and I in no way claim to be talented.
Character Pairings: Severus Snape/Nymphadora Tonks
Warnings: Mild use of language, adult situations, possible slight ooc (though i try desperately to avoid that)
This contains no overly complex plot, and is written mainly to make people smile while hopefully avoiding being overly cheesy although I do NOT mind cheesy, so..yeah
A/N: I grew fascinated with (after reading several that made me shudder) the idea of if a Snape-Tonks romance could be pulled off even halfway believably, without going horribly ooc on the characters or making it gag-a-maggot sweet. I dont know for sure if everything is going to work out in the end, it may not do so. Keeps it interesting for me. If you spot any errors in any of the chapters, please leave them in a review so I can correct them (thanks to my beta for suggesting this--revised note May 9,2004)
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Snape strode back to the school from the Apparation point limping slightly. 'A meeting with Voldemort wasn't proper unless the one called got at least two Crucio's from the Dark Lord,' Severus thought with a mental sneer. 'Maybe I should write a book. Hmm. Crucio's and Curtseys- Your Guide to Meeting the Newest Dark Lord.' The thought made him almost chuckle. Almost. If it wouldn't have hurt so bad, he probably would have. The image it brought, of Lucius in a dress with his hair in pig-tails, curtseying to Voldemort was just too much.
His footsteps whispering now on the stone floor of the castle, Snape headed up as was his custom to debrief Dumbledore on Voldemort's latest meglomaniac plan. Thankfully he'd not missed any of his classes, so no questions would (hopefully) arise from the wrong people. It wasn't as if he was a social butterfly who was seen constantly, as Voldemort had informed him, amusement lacing his hissing voice. Amazing how long it took Voldemort to use that. Snape, at times, wasn't even sure that he'd ever been a Slytherin. Much less Slytherin's Heir.
Pausing in front of the gargoyle, Snape leaned in and whispered the password with obvious distaste. "Hotter Potters." It was a recently released type of cinnamon flavoured chew that gave the wearer green eyes that were supposed to be "just like the-boy-who-lived's". 'Potter probably whole-heartedly endorsed them,' he thought with a sneer. 'Big headed idiotic Gryffindor.' The gargoyle slid to the side and Severus stepped on the ascending steps, striding up them even as it turned, in his impatience.
He had more important things to do. Like talk to Tonks after he took care of his blasted class. Tell her what was going on. 'Hm, and how is that conversation going to go? Oh hello Nymphadora. You're looking smashing. By the way, the Dark Lord wants us to get extremely close. No, not because of the fact that it would be a possible little Death Eater on the way. You see, he wants you to be his newest recruit. If I can't convert you, I'm to kill you. So, how about dinner tonight? Sevenish?' he smirked. That was probably a sure way to get himself hexed out of her chambers.
"The meeting went well?" Dumbledore asked when he saw the smirk upon his Potions Master's face. Snape blinked. "Er...No. Actually it went quite badly." He stepped into the room when Dumbledore invited him in, but didn't head for the chair as usual. Instead he crossed his arms and sighed internally. "I was quite right in one of our earlier conversations when I questioned how we would react to the Dark Lord's involvement. Only its a bit different."
"Oh?" Dumbledore moved behind his desk and opened a drawer, getting out the tin of lemon drops. Snape gave him a glare that could have froze the balls off a brass monkey, and Dumbledore chuckled quite unexpectedly.
"Don't worry, Severus. Minerva told me off rather soundly last night. I shall refrain from offering any of the teachers lemon drops from now on." He took the lid off the tin, got one, and popped it in his mouth. "But..." he put the lemon drops away and lifted an emerald green tin from the drawer, "have you tried the new Hotter Potters? They make a wonderful taste contrast to Lemon Drops."
"Alllllllbussssss..."
"Ah, very well." The old man shook his head slightly and sat down in his chair, keeping the tin out for after he'd finished his lemon drop. Snape looked very deliberately away from the eye-catching green tin that was a somewhat weak imitation of the colour of Potter's eyes.
"As I was trying to say...the Dark Lord wishes me to get romantically involved with Nymphadora and then persuade her to switch sides. If possible, get her to act as a second spy. If I cannot persuade her to switch sides, I am then to kill her."
The twinkle went from Dumbledore's eyes for the briefest moment, but he rejoined swiftly, and jovially enough. "Then it is a good thing we've already talked about her dying, is it not? This, my dear boy, just gives you a chance to admit that you like her without sacrificing any pride. Although I dare say you should hear some of the rumours that are circulating around the school right now after that little bout of flirting you two engaged in at lunch."
"WE WERE NOT FLIRTING!" Snape's eyes snapped back towards Dumbledore, and he blushed faintly at the almost unbelievable twinkling of the man's eyes.
"As you say, Severus, as you say."
The Potions Master stood there for a moment, his mouth working, and then he gave Albus a patented death-glare, and swept from the room.
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Would they think him nuts if he banged his head against his desk? Did he really care? Unfortunately yes. The last thing he needed was Draco reporting to Lucius that he was losing his mind. Even if it was the fault of the class. He was brewing the Integrum Pulpa potion in his fourth year. They were in their sixth! And the other teachers wondered why he was in a bad mood constantly. He was dealing with absolute dunderheads!
Sighing, he raised a hand and rubbed at the bridge of his nose, and gritted out. "If everyone does not manage to make this potion correctly, the next few classes will be more unpleasant than you can possibly dream of." His eyes darted to the form of Longbottom, who was stirring feverishly at his cauldron. "Especially for the one who is on his way to messing the potion up as we speak. LONGBOTTOM!" Neville's eyes snapped up to Snape's and he visibly cowered. "What direction are you stirring in?"
"Er...uh..." Neville swallowed hard and stared down at his hands, which were still stirring. "Counter-clockwise, sir."
"What direction does the board say to stir the potion in, Mr. Longbottom?" he asked silkily, smirking.
"C-c..." Neville's eyes widened as he re-read the boards instructions, and then he gulped. "Clockwise, sir."
"Mr. Longbottom?"
"Yes, Professor Sn-Snape, sir?" Severus strode over, and stood next to Neville with his arms crossed. He waited a moment, still smirking, to build up the fear in Longbottom, and then barked at him.
"GET OUT OF MY SIGHT, YOU INCOMPETENT LITTLE IDIOT!" Neville squeaked and ran from the classroom without even grabbing his bag.
Snape just sighed and raised a brow at the dirty looks the Gryffindors were throwing him. "I suggest you get back to work before I mark every single one of your house at 0 percent for the day." Turning to walk back up to his desk, he muttered, "I may just do it anyways on the basis of how much you bloody idiots annoy me."
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Finally, after what seemed like ages, the class was over, and he ordered everyone to bottle a sample of their potion and bring it to the front of the room. As Granger approached, he bit out. "Tell Longbottom he is to have written a four foot essay on the Integrum Pulpa potion and the proper way to make it before he steps another foot in this class." She gave him an extremely dirty look at started to open her mouth. Snape just sneered. "And if he does not do so, it will affect your grade, since I gave you the responsibility of telling him."
'It really is satisfying,' he reflected as he left the Potions classroom, locking it after every student had left, and headed towards the DADA teacher's chambers, 'to torment know-it-alls.' Smirking, he stopped in front of the painting that led to Tonks' quarters, and formally requested entrance into the chamber. A moment later he heard Tonks yell something and the portrait swung open to reveal a rather...wet Metamorphmagus who was hurriedly tying her bathrobe ties.
He stepped in, the portrait swung shut behind him (chuckling madly), and raised a brow. "What did you do, wo-Tonks? Jump in the shower as soon as your class was over?" Her hair, he decided, looked good wet, especially since she had it a bit longer than he'd usually saw it. Quite a normal colour for that matter, too. Snape frowned slightly and stepped forward, reaching out a hand when he was close enough and lifting a lock of the jet-black wet silk. He rubbed it softly as he contemplated something, and then looked down at her as she stuttered a yes. 'Tonks...stuttering?'
Tonks had not expected anyone to come into her room. Least of all the Potions Master. All she'd been thinking about was getting a nice hot shower to wipe away the feeling of the looks some of the older students had been sending her. Not to mention the tingly effects of some of the spells she'd been hit with. She WAS going to find out who fired that clothes removal spell at her. 'Thank goodness I ducked in time!' She didn't particularly mind that Snape had come to visit her though. He was a bit snarky, but the man HAD helped her out. Plus there was the whole internal fight she'd had with herself about whether or not to become his friend. So she greeted him with a smile as she hastily tied her bathrobe, and started to ask what he was doing here when he interrupted her, and then he'd taken her by surprise with stepping so close to her. In her natural form, Severus practically loomed over her.
Her eyes wide, she stared up at him in consternation as he played with her hair before finally managing to answer him. She promptly blushed in embarrassment at the fact she'd tripped over her words, and murmured something about getting a towel for her hair before escaping momentarily into the bathroom.
Snape stared after her, blinking a few times before the smirk grew slowly into a cocky grin as he realized she'd been so off-kilter because of him. 'What a wicked web I can weave with that,' he thought and used the time she was in the bathroom to summon a house elf and order it to retrieve a bottle of claret for him. This was a delicate matter that would not be helped by the consumption of fire-whiskey. They both needed to be fully alert and for some reason, he suspected that Tonks probably wasn't the best person for holding her liquor. 'But then again, you never know. She is quite different from normal human beings. I wonder how her body does react to things like alcohol? Maybe I'll get a chance to find out later. I hope I do.' The grin had long faded into an impassive expression, but at his last thought, the smirk returned as he admitted it wouldn't be for a purely professional reason that he wanted to see how she reacted to alcohol. 'If she's anything in the bedroom like she is normally...fiery little witch...'
Just then, Tonks emerged from the bathroom, and the house elf re-appeared, handing him the bottle of nicely aged drink. She copied his earlier expression by raising a brow at the sight of the drink, and he snapped away from his rather lecherous thoughts to ask where she located her glasses. She'd replied with a question in her voice, which he ignored until he'd poured them both a glass, and handed hers to her. "We need to talk," he said finally, and gestured over to the couch.
Frowning, she led the way to the over-stuffed piece of furniture, and sat down on the edge of it, staring at him as he moved to sit beside her. "About what?"
"The fact that the Dark Lord wants me to get intimately acquainted with you."
She squeaked. Actually squeaked, then burst out with: "Voldemort wants you to have sex with me?"
He groaned. "I mean romantically involved, not necessarily bug-have sex-making l-Oh, bloody hell, you're the only one who can leave me tongue-tied!" Snape sighed and took a sip of the claret, savouring the flavour for a long moment. "I am to worm my way into your heart until you'd do anything for me, and then convert you to the Dark's side. If I do not succeed, I'm to kill you then."
She blinked then gulped at her drink. Finally, shakily, she put it down on the small table beside her, and said, "Well, Severus Snape, it looks like you just got yourself a girlfriend."
It was his turn to be shocked, and all he could say was, "Why?" She rolled gray eyes and snorted. "Because, you're that side of a git, but I don't want you on the Dark Lord's piss-list. We'll deal with this one step at a time."
"Dark Lord's Piss-List?"
"Better'n the Moldyshort's Racing Stripes?" It took him a moment to figure that one out, but when he did, it was Severus' turn for a full-belly laugh.
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A/N: Well, there ya have it. What did y'all think?
Thanks to: MajinSakuko (my beta! and it may come to that (fight) but I'm not telling ;)), I lov Redheads w/ Fangs (of course), Noelle Andrews (welcome to mah story!), the mysterious "someone" (thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you!), Amsev (yes, it was disgusting), TeenTypist (I try to be)