Chapter 10- He Loves Me Not
After Christmas I didn't go to school for a week. I felt terrible for what I did to Ashley...so I told by papa that I was ' sick ' with the flu. It's not like he cared anyway because all he cares about is himself and getting some every now and then if you know what I mean. My dad is a sick nasty man but anyway. Why is it bothering me now..like 3 months after she was gone. I felt bad..I felt like filth...I felt as if I had to be washed no matter how many times I took a bath I just felt dirty. And now Craig was acting different. I mean he would talk to Paige allot in the halls and whenever I went over they would stop talking.
It was Febuary..and I was at the Dot talking with Spinner and Paige...I apologized to Paige and we became friends again. We were having a double date and Craig was late obviously. Paige had to go the bathroom and Craig walked in. "Hey Craigy..you look cold do you want me to warm you up?" I asked him while giving him a hug "No not now Manny...Spinner have you seen Paige?" he asked while pushing me off of him. "Yeah she just went into the bathroom." I said coldly. Why would he care were Paige was. Paige came out of the bathroom "Hi Craig" she said giving him a hug..why wouldn't he push her off of him!!!! "Hi Paige " he said squeezing her tighter. "I'll be right back I have to tell my boss I'm going on my break" Spinner said while walking away. Spinner went on his break and we got our selves a table.
Craig kept on looking at Paige. But it wasn't the friendly friend way it was the way you would look at someone when you wanted to go do crazy things with them. I know that look because he gave it to me many times last year. "Craig..hunny is there something on my face what are you staring at?" she asked with a confused look. "No..sorry I was spacing out." he said smiling with his big yellow teeth. "So Craigy can you come with me to get another soda for us" I said really fast "Manny..hun...are you nervous." Paige asked me with her red devilish eyes. How Come Everyone Knows When I am NERVOUS. YES I AM NERVOUS YOU ARE ABOUT TO TAKE AWAY MY BOYFRIEND FROM ME!!!!!!"No..I'm not nervous." I said smiling. After I noticed Craig staring at her she started looking evil I don't know why? "O.K. Manny" he said and we got up and went to the counter. "Two sprites, one coke, and a diet coke please" I said giving the waitress our glasses "O.K. " she said I looked into Craig's eyes "I know what your doing..and it's not working" I hissed at him like a snake getting ready to eat his prey."What are you talking about?" he asked "You know what I'm talking about you bastard. " I said "Here's your drinks " The lady said "Thank you" I said while giving her a really cheesy smile. I think she could tell because she didn't smile back and she started to mumble words. "Craig" I said about to tear up..I could feel my eyes burning. I know Craig would go for Paige and I know Paige is getting kind of sick of Spinner so she obviously would say o.k. to Craig so many emotions. "Manny once again I have no clue what your talking about. " he said pretending to look confused "Do you know what....how about this...you and I go drop our drinks off and then we go have a little 'chit chat' outside for a couple of seconds o.k." I said smiling "O.K." and I grabbed our drinks and went to the table
"Craig and I have to talk outside for a bit o.k." I said smiling "But my break is almost over." Spinner complained "and.." I said waving my hands trying to get him to say his point. "And...we haven't talked this whole time.." he said looking disappointed "Yes we have...I said quote Isn't that funny spinner? unquote and you said quote yeah Manny!!! unqoute...see thats talking." I said trying not to be rude but I really had to talk to Craig. "Well..." he started but I interrupted "Well great now lets go Craig..see you later Spinner...and we'll be right back Paige." I said while saying Paige's name really coldly
So we got outside and Craig tries to give me a hug but I pull away "Don't even try to act like everything is okay Craig." I said I was really pissed "Craig?...what ever happened to Craigy?" he asked me looking confused "I don't know you tell me" I said really angrily with my arms crossed trying to hold back my tears and my fists. "Manny I am so confused whats wrong with you...first you call be a bastard and you tell me to cut it out and now you stopped calling my Craigy whats wrong" he asked trying to touch my arm but I pulled away. Karma is a f-ing bitch. Why why did it have to happen to me. "Craig...you keep on doing it over and over and over." I said starting to cry I couldn't help myself "Doing what?" he asked starting to get angry himself "You keep on hurting me Craig." I said with more tears coming down my tan face. "I keep on telling my self no but for some reason I have an urge to talk to you..to want to be with you....to do anything to get you back" I said bawling "Manny how am I hurting you." he asked me acting stupid key word stupid. "Don't play dumb with me I saw you looking at Paige..and it wasn't friendly it was the I want to go and have sex with you look..how do I know this look because you have given it to me before....and I hear you guys whispering all the time now..like in the hallways and when I come over you always stop talking and change the subject.." I said with the tears going away and the angriness coming "Lis..." he started but I interrupted "Listen to what...how you love..Paige...how you want to be with her...how you care about her more then you care about me...what was I Craig your rebound.?" I asked angrily "Man.." he started again "Don't Manny me...Do you know how hard it was to break up with J.T....I felt terrible Craig...I felt like crap...I know what it feels like to be dumped and cheated on because you were the one that gave me those experiences." I said now turning red I swear steam was going to come out of my ears. "Manny listen to me." he said while grabbing me "Craig get off of me." I said trying to squirm my way out but at the same time it felt so good to have his hands on me so strongly he was the man not me..he should take control. "Manny do you know what tomorrow is?" he asked me "Febrary........14" I said looking at him like why does it matter. "Do you know what tomorrow is?" he asked me "Yeah..Valentines day..." I said slowly "But what does that have to do with...Paige.." I asked angrily I didn't want to loose this fight I hate loosing fights. "Do you know what else tomorrow is?" he asked looking into my eyes it looked like he was about to cry...and I didn't want to feel sorry for him he was supposed to feel sorry for me. "Think Manny think" he said looking me in my eyes..February 14..what happened February 14 "4 months ago" he said now I did see tears in his eyes. O.K. lets go back...Janruary, December, November, October..."October 14th was....Oh Craig February 14th is our 4 month anniversary. " I said about to cry of embarrassment. He took his eyes and his hands of me and looked at Paige through the window Paige looked at us confused and mouthed whats wrong.I shook my head and she smiled and turned back to Spinner and Craig faced me his face was now pail white and it was all my fault. "Paige was helping me figure out away to make your day ultimately cool because it was Valentines day and our anniversary" he said looking pretty sad. "Craig I am so sorry." I said looking down at the ground "No now... it's my turn to get mad." He said starting to turn red "You didn't trust me why.." he said "Bec..." I started but he interrupted me. "I never would have cheated on you Manny...and I never would have wanted to hurt you in anyway or form." he said "I.." I started but once again he interrupted me. "Why couldn't you trust me?" he asked but I didn't answer I just looked down at the ground "Why didn't you trust me?" he asked me again . What does he want me to say something or will he cut me off again. "I don't know Craigy I'm sorry" I said really quietly "Can you please give me another chance" I asked still looking at the ground. "Manny" he said "You couldn't trust me and I felt really hurt about that....you need trust in a relationship...and if you don't have trust in me..how am I supposed to have trust in you." he said very quietly also and then he gave me a hug a really tight hug and then let go and looked at me "So does this mean you'll take me back?" I asked him waiting for a yes "Manny...I'm sorry but you hurt me by not trusting me it's over." he said and he looked at me and I looked back at him tears filling in my eyes and I turned around and just ran home.
I saw my dad sitting on the couch and ... I just ran up the stairs and locked my door. I opened Tinker-Bells cage and grabbed her and sat on my bed. I just cried..cried my heart out and I started singing my favorite song when I was sad from the sound of music. "...These are a few of my favorite things..when the dog bites when the bee stings when I'm feeling sad..I simply remember my favorite things and then I don't feel so bad" My life was going down hill "My life sucks tink" I kept on saying over and over again while falling asleep "I ruin everything"