POST-STYX FEET UNDER
Is That All You Can Say?
Piper, my oldest sister, you were willing to let me go into that blue everlasting and possibly never see me again. You never fought for me, for my life, you never protested to save my life, just accepted that I was going. I'm I that much different from Phoebe? Just the same type of blood and I'm just a stranger? That was how I felt these past years I have known you. Just the half-sister needed to fulfil the destiny, but I know it goes much deeper than that. You were willing to let me go, Piper, and that is something I don't understand, not even if I have known you these past years. I would have been comforted a bit to know you would shed tears for me, selfish as it is, just to know you were my sister and that these past three years weren't a waste.
Right now, your looking the other way while I just stare at you, burning a hole into your head. That word came out of your mouth, like you intentionally did it. Like you knew what you were doing. "Sorry."
I try to wrap my brain around a reasonable explanation, but my mind draws up blanks. You don't see the frown on my face, nor the apprehension. Piper, Piper, Piper, you are one confusing being. But I guess that's just a part of being a Charmed one. My mind keeps telling me that you were just being strong, and you have accepted the death part of being the Angel of Death, but my heart keeps telling me otherwise. Were you being strong for them? For Phoebe? Did you accepted me dying was something you couldn't change? I know you did, I saw it in your eyes, but on a subconscious level, you didn't mind?
Silly me for thinking such a thing, but I can't help it. I saw you fought against Phoebe when her name appeared on the To Die list. I saw the pain and regret in your eyes, Piper and even you can't deny that. Do you love me, Piper? Does Phoebe love me? Have you guys accepted me as your sister? As a Charmed One? Silly silly Paige for thinking such a damned thing. All these years together down the drain because of my stupid brain can't wrap around your actions, your feelings, and the thought of you being okay with my death.
Your looking at me now, waiting for my acceptance of your apology, and we both knew it would come, just to avoid the awkward situation that would follow if I said, "No, it's not okay." Your eyes are searching mine, as if they would tell you something else.
"It's okay, Piper."
But is it?
Ardelle