THE LOST VOYAGES
The "Star Trek – Voyager" that could have been
by Soledad
CARETAKER
Alternate pilot episode
Disclaimer: All Star Trek belongs to Gene Roddenberry and Viacom or whoever owns the rights at this moment. I don't make any profit out of this – I wish I would, but I don't, so suing me would be pointless.
Rating: PG-13, for some rather disturbing images.
Author's note: I've decided right at the beginning to pay the Seska/Chakotay relationship more attention than was given in the series. Seska is an interesting character, a complex and very strong one, and I wanted to explore a little what exactly she and Chakotay saw in each other.
On the other hand, I never bought the Kes/Neelix romance, not for a second. So I chose to let it out of this story. Remember, this is an AU. Consequently, there are and will be differences. That's the very nature of an AU. Period.
As always, my heartfelt thanks to Brigid for beta reading. All remaining mistakes are mine.
INTERLUDE #4: CONSIDERATIONSThe debriefing aboard the Crazy Horse was short and fast. Repairs had made some surprising headway, after all. Not only were they able to bring the impulse engines up to 87 efficiency, but they had the transporter online as well. The news eased a little Chakotay's anxiety, even though the Warp drive was still dead.
"What about the replicators?" he asked. Seska made a wry face.
"No hope for the food units, I'm afraid. But we are at least capable of producing water. Great amounts of it."
Chakotay took the hint, and he was sure that Ayala noticed it, too. Still, he was not about to discuss these possibilities openly. Not yet, that is.
"Room temperatures are still too low," he remarked, "especially in the cabins farther away from engineering. Can we hope they would return to normal any time soon?"
Seska shook her head. "Afraid not. The environmental systems are still acting crazy, and we can't find the glitch that's causing the problem."
Not without Torres. The underlying message came through clear and loud.
"At least our sick and wounded don't have to freeze," Ayala said. "I hate to break the idea to you, Chak, but we might be forced to abandon the Crazy Horse and either try our luck with the Kazon… or with Voyager. Without a functioning Warp drive we could just as well settle down in the desert."
"Or we could help the Kazon take over either the Array or that Ocampa city – if it exists at all," Seska added.
Chakotay shook his head. "I'd rather take my chances with Voyager. They want to get home as much as we do. And Janeway might be a stickler with regard to regulations, but she is no fool. What I could see of their ship, they are seriously under-manned. I doubt that Voyager could be properly operated with less than a hundred crewmembers. And they don't have a hundred people. Not nearly enough hands to keep all systems running. They left DS9 with a skeleton crew to begin with."
"So you intend to suggest an alliance to her?" Seska asked doubtfully.
Chakotay grinned. "No, I intend to wait until she suggests it."
They laughed. Then Ayala rose from his seat. "Well, Cap, I'm gonna wash and then I'll return to the bridge. You see that you get some shut-eye before you return to Voyager. You need to be sharp."
That was certainly true, and as soon as Ayala left his quarters, Chakotay stepped into the sonic shower. It was no comparison to a real one, with water, but it cleaned him sufficiently, and even massaged some of the tiredness out of his sore muscles. Putting on fresh clothes he returned to his single room. All he wanted was some sleep, but to his surprise he found Seska waiting there.
"What are you still doing here?" he asked, less than friendly in his weariness. He was in no mood for another round of discussion.
"Your quarters are warmer than mine," Seska explained, shivering slightly. "I hoped you'd be willing to share."
Here teeth were visibly rattling from the cold and Chakotay regretted his harsh demeanour immediately. Seska had always been much more sensitive to the cold than any Bajoran he'd ever met – it was a genetic trait, not her fault. And sharing their body heat like in old times on field missions would not mean they'd have to share anything else.
"All right," he said, crawling into his bed fully clothed and lifted the blanket invitingly, "c'mon on, Ice Queen, let's share!"
Seska didn't wait for a second invitation. She slid under the blanket and curled into a ball of shivering limbs in front of him. "How long do we have?" she asked.
"About an hour," Chakotay pulled her close and wrapped his big arms around her deceivingly thin frame. Though born out of sheer necessity, it was a nice feeling to have her in his bed again. It had been empty for too long.
He felt the familiar stirring in his groin from her closeness but suppressed it ruthlessly. This was not the time. Seska had always stirred up his senses, despite the fact that he usually preferred more feminine women, with a little more flesh on their bones. But there was something irresistible in the Bajoran's single-minded pursuit of him – and though her body temperature was unusually low, she could be hot as hell when passion overcame her.
Unfortunately, she was also stubborn, jealous and extremely possessive. She felt that her affair with Chakotay gave her the right to boss the others around and to fight and criticize his decisions; which had been the main reason Chakotay had ended their relationship. The cell could not work under dual leadership, especially when said leaders couldn't agree on a lot of things.
So they broke up, and tension had been high between them for quite a while, until they managed to settle for friendship and mutual respect. Yet Seska never hid her intention to eventually reinitiate their love affair, and right now, seventy thousand light-years from home, feeling her body in his arms and enjoying her familiar scent again, the idea was damn tempting. Still, as long as they had a shimmer of hope to get home any time soon, he wasn't ready to give in. It would only complicate things unnecessarily.
It seemed that similar thoughts kept Seska awake as well, because after a few minutes she said quietly. "Chakotay, are you going to let Kathryn the Great call the shots all the time? Because it doesn't look like she's making much headway with the Kazon, does it?"
"No, it doesn't," Chakotay agreed with a sigh. "What do you have on that devious mind of yours?"
"I was thinking," Seska petted his arm absently. "Janeway missed her chance with the Kazon when she destroyed all that water. But now that our transporter is working again, and we are able to produce water, too, we could start forging our own alliances."
Chakotay thought about it. What Seska said did certainly have its merits – making an enemy out of the Kazon had been a mistake, and they hadn't even found a trace of their missing people in exchange. On the other hand, they owed the Fleeters a certain amount of gratitude for treating their sick and wounded.
"It's not about stabbing Janeway in the back," Seska continued as if she had read his thoughts. "I don't want to sell Voyager to the Kazon – we could make good use of that ship ourselves. But we have to keep our backs free if we intend to return to the planet and keep looking for B'Elanna."
"True enough," Chakotay agreed. "What's your plan? I know you have one. You always do."
"I'll beam down to the Kazon," Seska offered. "I'll talk to Maje Jabin and tell him that little toad lied to us as well as to them. I'll explain to him that we are a different bunch of people than Janeway and her Fleeters, and that neither of us can make water out of thin air; that making water costs a lot of energy. Then I'll offer to replace the water that Janeway has wasted.
The idea seemed sound enough. The Kazon were a space-faring species, after all, which meant that they should be able to understand that sophisticated technology consumed lots of energy. At least Chakotay hoped so. He trusted Seska's shrewd mind to get through with the whole thing.
"All right," he said, "but don't go down there alone."
"I'm not a fool, Chakotay," she replied indignantly. "I'll take Tabor with me – he seems immune to bad luck when it comes to fighting. And Suder, to frighten the Kazon out of their minds. They seem to be a people who believe in demons, and Suder matches the demands of that category nicely."
Chakotay chuckled. Seska was right with that last remark; the withdrawn, soft-speaking Betazoid had a certain snake-like look in his pitch-black eyes that could make anyone freeze with horror. Not to mention that he could go berserk in a fight in less than a second. Yes, Suder was definitely a good choice. And so was Tabor. Torres often mentioned jokingly that the young Bajoran must have had an invisible forcefield protecting him, as he came through every fight without as much as a scratch.
"Good choices," Chakotay murmured, feeling exhaustion weighing down on him heavily, "but wait until nightfall. I don't want the Fleeters to spy on us."
Seska nodded, wiggling closer to him. "Don't worry. I've never been caught on a secret mission."
"So far," Chakotay added. "See that you don't start now. But let's get some sleep first, shall we? I'm dead on my feet."
"You're not exactly on your feet right now," Seska pointed out, grinning. But she cuddled up against him readily enough, and after a moment their deep, slow breathing was the only sound that could be heard.
The debriefing in Voyager's conference room bore unpleasant similarities to a court-martial, Tom Paris found. That bizarrely-shaped conference table alone could give a person recurring nightmares, with its polished black surface. What was it with Starfleet designers that they preferred to shape simple furniture in the likeness of a coffin?
Oh, what the hell, at least this time he was sitting on the safe side of the table, for a change. T'Prena had sent him to represent sickbay, as she wanted to stay with the patients. Besides, she added dryly, humans were much better suited to listening to long, pointless discussions.
Even though he would have preferred to remain in sickbay where nobody seemed to have a problem with him (except Kurt Bendera, that is, but the Maquis was too weak to cause any real trouble), Tom was looking forward to witnessing how Neelix would be investigated by one very pissed off Starfleet captain. As a pupil of the stern and merciless Admiral Paris, Janeway would undoubtedly offer a great performance.
The members of this impromptu court were the two captains, of course. Tuvok, representing security, Sue Nicoletti, representing Engineering and a blue-skinned Andorian female called X'siarach who accompanied Chakotay. She looked deceivingly cute with her nervously twitching antennae that rose from her short, cotton-like white hair, but Tom knew that Andorians as a rule were tough, fierce and often downright cruel. As the only known species displaying characteristics of both mammals and insectoids(1), their psychological make-up was hard to understand for other races and as a result they were counted as extremely unpredictable. Tom guessed this was the reason why Chakotay chose her as his escort for this particular meeting.
The delicate Ocampa girl was seated next to Tom, near the end of the long table, and now two big security officers were escorting a frightened but stubbornly defensive Neelix into the conference room. He was shackled, which meant that he must have put up some fight, and kept looking around in a less than friendly manner. The security officers removed the shackles and pushed him down – not too gently – on the empty seat on the low end of the conference table, so that he had to face Janeway's icy glare.
"Well, Mr. Neelix," the captain of Voyager began in a controlled manner, "I hope you had sufficient time to think about your irrational behaviour…"
"Irrational?" Neelix snapped indignantly, choosing attack as his best defence. "We got out of there, didn't we?"
"Not thanks to you, Mr. Neelix," Tuvok pointed out calmly. "May I remind you that it was you who had caused the whole situation in the first place? With no true intention to help us find our missing people, I must add."
"You lied to us," Chakotay added. "You tricked us out of possible negotiations and you cost us valuable time that we could have spent searching for our crewmembers. You used us. I don't like being used. And I most certainly don't like people who lie to me."
"Neither do I," Janeway said coldly.
"Excuse me…"
With the exception of Tom Paris who had already heard her speak in sickbay, everyone jolted in surprise at the girl's voice. It was deep, pleasant and surprisingly mature for a person who didn't look older that probably fourteen – though considering the fact that her people supposedly only lived nine years, she must have been much, much younger. Still, she didn't behave like a child, despite her innocent, elfin beauty.
"Excuse me," she repeated, a little more forcefully, to gain their attention. "Please, don't blame Neelix. It's actually my fault that things have taken a turn to the wrong."
"I'd like to decide that for myself, Miss…" Janeway trailed off expectantly.
"Kes," the girl offered with a gentle smile. "Just Kes, please. My people don't use honorary titles."
"Well, … Kes, I'd like you to explain to us why do you think you're to blame for the current situation."
"I never should have gone to the surface," Kes explained with a sad little smile. "The elders have warned us often enough. But I didn't listen to them. I'm too curious. I'm told it's my worst failing."
"No, no," Neelix blurted out, unable to restrain himself. "It's a wonderful quality, your most endearing…"
The girl – Kes – didn't pay his gushing any attention.
"You must understand, Captain," she continued, "that I'm barely one year old, which is very young, even for my own kind. Young people of my age still need teaching and guidance. But with both my parents dead already, I was very much on my own, and I gave in to my curiosity. As the elders had predicted, it got me in trouble."
"You found a way to the surface," Janeway stated.
Kes nodded solemnly.
"I knew the Kazon might find me... we do know some of what's going on on the surface. I knew it was dangerous. And yet I couldn't resist. As you know, they did find me."
"Those brutes… kidnapping you!"
"Mister Neelix!" Janeway exploded," If you can't keep your mouth shut, I'll have it fused together permanently!"
That silenced the annoying little twit for a while, and Janeway turned back to Kes.
"What happened after they found you?"
The clear blue eyes of the girl darkened. "They tried to make me tell how they could find a way to our city. They refused to give me any water if I didn't. But Neelix, who was negotiating some business with Maje Jabin, stole water from them and gave it secretly to me. The fourth time he brought it, he got caught and had to flee." She paused, guilt written clearly in her sweet face. "I drank the water and their children died from thirst. It was my fault."
"Is that why you never tried to escape?" Chakotay asked, starting to understand the whole backstory a little better. Kes nodded.
"I've tried to make up for it by caring for their wounded," she said simply. "But it's just not the same."
"Did you know the water you drank belonged to the children?" Chakotay asked gently. The girl shook her head. "Then you are not to blame. You never lived on the surface. You had no way to know the true need of these people." The Maquis leader turned to Neelix, his eyes narrowing. "You, on the other hand, knew exactly what you were doing. But you never really cared what would happen, did you? Just as you didn't care what would become of our people."
"Please," Kes raised a small hand, "these accusations lead nowhere. You are certainly right to be angry, but what's done is done. Tell me how we can help you. Mr. Paris," she gave Tom a gentle smile, and Tom blushed, "told me that you are looking for missing people. I'll try to help you find them. I know our planet better than anyone else. Even the Kazon."
"Is it possible that our crewmembers are being held captive by your people?" Janeway asked.
Kes frowned at the idea. "We are not an aggressive species, Captain. We would never hold anyone against their will. But the Caretaker has sent aliens to us who are sick and need care."
"Sick?" Chakotay leaned forward in his seat, open concern on his face. "What's wrong with them?"
"I'm not sure," Kes shrugged. "But I saw patients in your infirmary suffering from the same illness."
"Is that a serious condition?" Chakotay asked. Kes nodded sadly.
"I'm afraid so. None of those sent to us by the Caretaker have ever survived."
"But the three Maquis in Sickbay are making headway," Tom hurriedly added. "The therapy seems to work, although it's a slow and unpleasant process."
"So, if we find Torres and your ensign, we might be able to heal them?" Chakotay asked.
"If we find them in time," Tom replied. "T'Prena says that after reaching a certain stage of the illness the therapy would have no effect. We'll have to hurry up."
Janeway turned to Kes. "Would you be willing to take us underground to look for our missing crew?" she asked.
Kes shook her head in regret. "I'm afraid Jabin was right," she said apologetically. "There's no way to get down. The tunnel I came out has been sealed."
"We don't need a tunnel," Janeway said, a little impatiently. "We have the ability to transport there directly."
Oh yeah, and why haven't we been able to even locate their city so far? Tom thought sarcastically, fearing that things wouldn't be that easy.
"Captain…" Tuvok said in that particularly stiff manner he always used when he had to disagree with his commanding officer. "Our sensors did not pick up any indication of an underground civilization. The subterranean barrier Jabin described may be responsible. It might also block our transporter."
"Especially since the alien on the Array seems to have some sort of transporter technology, too," Nicoletti added. "It can be expected that he would shield the Ocampa city against transporters as well, if he wants them to be safe."
For a moment, Tom forgot to listen to the spontaneously arising discussion, having eyes and ears for the pretty brunette alone. Nicoletti reminded him a little of Jean – both were dark-haired, competent, smart and lovely – and he realized that the memories still hurt. More than he'd have expected, after all those years.
Maybe it was because of Sito who belonged to Jean's short life – and to Nick's as well – in a way Tom never had. Or maybe because he was now free from the mind-numbing monotony of prison. He didn't know. But whatever the true reason might be, it had brought back both the memories and the nightmares, ever since he'd boarded Voyager.
He shook his head, forcing himself to attention again. Jean was the past, and he couldn't change the past. But he might still be able to do something to save Harry. To help a friend, instead of killing one, for a change.
"There are breaches in the security barrier," Kes offered a little uncertainly, "where it's begun to decay. That's how I got out."
Janeway let out a deep breath in relief. "That's a start, at least." Then she turned to Tuvok. "Have the transporter room begin a sweep for any breaches we might be able to beam through."
The Vulcan nodded and left without comment. Neelix wriggled nervously in his seat as if he felt threatened with the two burly security guards at his back when their boss wasn't around. The fact that he had managed to bite one of them rather viciously when they had tried to drag him out of his cell might have something to do with that.
"Kes can tell you where to go," he blurted out, forgetting Janeway's most recent threat. "But now that she's free, we're leaving this system together."
This announcement earned him quite a few bewildered looks – the most surprised one of them belonged to Kes.
"What are you talking about?" the girl asked in stunned disbelief. It was obvious that there had been no previous agreement between the two of them about this.
"We are leaving, Sweetie," Neelix explained, paying no attention to her apparent unwillingness.
"I'm afraid you don't understand the situation on our hands, Mr. Neelix," Janeway said icily. "Kes is free to leave whenever she chooses, of course. But you – you aren't going anywhere. Except from the brig, of course."
"Y-you… you can't keep me in jail!" Neelix spluttered. "I'm a free citizen of Talax, you… you have no right to keep me here!"
"Oh, but I can – and I will, trust me!" Janeway replied grimly. "You've endangered the life of my crewman and that of Captain Chakotay's engineer, and where we come from, such things are not taken lightly. You'll remain in the brig until we find our people. After that we'll decide if we let you go or not."
Neelix collapsed into a multi-coloured puddle of misery. Kes gave him a compassionate look before turning back to Janeway.
"Captain, I'll go down with you and help you find your missing people. Would you consider letting Neelix go in exchange?"
Janeway nodded. "I would. After we find our crewmen."
"Sweetie," Neelix begged, "you can't possibly be thinking of going back there with these… these…"
"These people rescued me, Neelix," Kes said in a dismissive tone.
Neelix pouted up to her. "I rescued you," he protested, "to stay with you forever."
"Without their help you would never have succeeded," Kes replied with a disapproving face. "It would be wrong not to help them now."
"You belong with me, not with them!" Neelix exclaimed. The gentle eyes of the girl became truly angry now.
"That's enough, Neelix. I owe you a great deal for saving my life in the Kazon camp. You are my friend, and you always will be. But I'm not your property."
Neelix opened his mouth several times but no sound came out of it. He reminded Tom of a fish out of water – only that not even a dying fish could have looked so devastated. Tom almost felt sorry for the little twit. Until now Neelix had apparently believed that Kes returned his romantic feelings – which, obviously, was not the case. What a way to get one's hopes crushed!
Janeway rose. "I think all that can be said has been said," she announced. "We have to wait until the scans bring some results. Ensign Ashmore, escort Mr. Neelix back to the brig. Mr. Paris, please return to sickbay and pack a medkit. Ask T'Prena for something you could inject Ensign Kim and Miss Torres with as soon as we find them, in order to slow down the spreading of the illness. Nicoletti, take over the transporter. We'll need a good engineer at the controls, should anything go wrong."
She waited until all crewmen (and one Starfleet observer) left to carry out their orders, then turned to Chakotay. "Can we have a word? In private?"
Chakotay nodded. "Sure. X'siarach, go to sickbay and check on our people. I'll join you in a minute."
"I'll show you the way," Kes offered, and the Andorian, just as small in stature as she was, nodded wordlessly. They left together, looking like two little girls on a carnival; one dressed up as the Flower Fairy, the other as some sort of wingless butterfly.
"And now let us speak openly," Janeway said when they were finally alone. "In what shape is your ship? The truth, please."
"In a bad one," Chakotay answered, deciding to be forthcoming with certain facts that she could check out anyway, in order to keep other facts covered for the time being. "We have 87 per cent impulse. No Warp drive. No working food replicators. Unreliable transporter. Environmental systems freaking out periodically. At the moment, we have one bitterly cold ship, except the engine room, which is much too hot for my comfort."
"You could evacuate all nonessential personnel to Voyager," Janeway offered. "I know you have trust issues with Starfleet, and I can even understand that, but please believe me – this is not a trap."
She seemed honest enough, but again, so had Tuvok during his time among the Maquis. Consequently, Chakotay was not going to deliver his whole crew into her hands. Not yet. Not until he was left with no other choice.
"This is not so much a matter of trust, Captain," he replied. "Fact is, we don't have nonessential personnel on the Crazy Horse. The Maquis are not specialized. We all fight – and we all work on the repairs between fights. We have engineers among us, of course, but everyone else is pretty much fit to do the more common repairs – and we still have a lot of those."
"I see," Janeway's voice was neutral, her face revealed no emotions. "You are accompanying us to the Ocampa city, I presume."
"Most certainly. Aside from the necessity of finding B'Elanna, I've never seen a completely subterranean culture before." He leaned forward eagerly. "Could you lend me a holocamera? I have no such extras on my ship, and I somehow doubt that we'll be invited for a second visit."
His scientific interest seemed to amuse her. "I think I can find one somewhere," she said, grinning. "But I must insist on getting a copy of each picture for my private collection."
He bowed gallantly. "Of course, Ma'am. It'll be your camera, after all. You'll find me in sickbay when it's time to leave."
TBC
End notes:
(1) X'siarach in an OC of mine. The dual ancestry of the Andorians was taken from "The Worlds of the Federation" by Shane Johnson – an excellent reference book to the Original Series and early TNG.