Title: The Turning of the Leaves
Author: Mercaque
Rating: R
Genre: Drama
Summary: Three years after the events of "Loss," Alex Cabot is told it's safe to return to New York City. But is she ready for the tremendous changes that await her?

CHAPTER 1

It's been two weeks since I got the call, but only now have I dared return to New York City. I first flew to see my mother upstate. I'm faintly embarrassed now, but tears welled in my eyes at nearly every meal she served. It had been so long, so very long...

My first day back in the city is equally emotional. The wall-to-wall roar of traffic, the multilingual shouts of passers-by, the wild tapestry of people and colors and even smells... it all rushes around me, enveloping me, welcoming me back. There's nothing like the womblike anonymity of a big city. And there's no big city quite like New York.

And yet, anxiety dogs my every step. I can't help looking over my shoulder, wondering if the phone call was all a joke. No, I met with the witness protection guys; I was assured the city was safe for me again; and besides, I have to acknowledge the grim fact that if Velez was trying to kill me, I'd probably already be dead. Rationally, I know I have little to worry about. And yet I feel as though I'm dancing on the edge of a razor blade.

It's early morning, and I'm hurrying to the sixteenth precinct. A fierce wind, sweeping off the chill East River, bites into my exposed cheeks. I tighten my long, black coat and give silent thanks I chose to wear jeans and thick boots today.

If SVU is anything like it used to be, the detectives will likely be busy. But I'm willing to wait all day if that's what it takes to see my old friends. The crippling depression of the past three years hasn't completely abated, but my spirits perk up as I recall all their faces: Olivia, Elliot, John, Huang, Fin...

I hurry up the precinct steps and breathe a sigh of relief when the doors close warmly behind me. The old hallway is exactly as I remember it, and I find my way around expertly – as though I'd never left.

When I enter the old squad room, I choke back a sudden rush of tears.

The air hitting my nostrils has exactly the same mixture as before – the office's cool metal, the faint scent of chalk in the air, the day-old coffee. There's the same busy symphony of clacking typewriters, shuffling papers, ringing telephones, and busy officers hurrying back and forth and in and out.

My vision clears, and I scan the office. Olivia, Elliot, John, Fin... are nowhere to be found. My stomach flutters briefly. Where the hell are they? There's a tall, skinny redhead sitting obliviously at Olivia's desk, an olive-skinned woman at Elliot's. A Nordic-looking man with a blond buzz cut, seated at the desk across the aisle, fires questions rapidly into the phone and scribbles down the answers.

I can't keep the confusion off my face. I know I'm standing in the middle of the precinct, probably looking like an idiot, but I can't help it. Where is everyone? Am I in the right building?

Cragen's door opens, and my gaze shoots toward it hopefully. But from the office emerges a middle-aged, pear-shaped Asian woman. She instantly takes notice of me and hurries over.

"Can I help you?" Her voice is cool and professional, but it's laced with concern. She probably thinks I'm here to report a sex crime. I stifle a bitter laugh at the thought.

"Is this..." I find my voice. "Is this the special victims unit?"

"Yes, dear, it is," she answers. "I'm Captain Karen Fong. Do you need to report a crime?"

This time, I do laugh, but it's from nervousness. "No. I'm actually looking for..." Colleagues? Do I want to give that much information away? "...for some old friends of mine. I used to know this squad pretty well."

The captain pulls back fractionally, pursing her lips. The concern has disappeared from her features. "How long ago would you say that was?"

"About... three years ago."

"That would be Captain Cragen's old unit?" she asks. Her voice grows icier by the second.

"Uh... yes." I feel immeasurably stupid; I am blatantly out of the loop. I've never liked not knowing things. It's one of the reasons I used to make such a good lawyer.

"Not many of them left," pipes up the redheaded detective who's co-opted Olivia's seat. He spins around in his chair, his long legs stretching lazily in front of him. "I think only Fin used to work with them."

"Odafin Tutuola?" I blurt, jumping at the first familiar name I hear. "He's still here?"

"Yes, he's one of our detectives," answers Fong. She's eyeing me suspiciously.

The redheaded officer, however, is all chuckles. "Yeah, he's one of the few left over after the big sweep."

"O'Connell," Fong barks. "Aren't you working on a case?"

The smile dies on his face. "Yes, ma'am."

"The big sweep?" I press her, trying to conceal my mounting anxiety. "What happened?"

She looks at me incredulously. "You've got to be kidding. Are you from out of town, sweetheart?"

I can't keep the impatience off my face. "What does that mean?"

Fong is silent for a long moment. Her lower jaw moves back and forth as she contemplates what to tell me.

"Perhaps I'd better just put you in touch with Fin," she says coolly, reaching for a pad of paper.

-END CHAPTER 1-