Chapter 3 The truth
A few hours later:
Logan stood in front of her door and hesitated. Maybe she was didn't want to talk to him; maybe she wanted to be alone. She had avoided him all day, probably she was not aware of that but she hadn't spoken much to him at all. She'd been walking around sunken in deep thoughts about something that Logan just couldn't figure out. It bothered him badly. Usually he knew what was going on inside of her, but this time he didn't. And to him it seemed like another of these goddamn side effects of his leaving.
He knocked and waited for her to open the door. But she didn't, instead she called him in. He opened the door carefully, expecting her to cry or something like that. But again she surprised him.
Her face beamed and she was running around her room excited. Her hair was bound together and she had put on new make up to recover the rings around her eyes.
"Hey Logan", she said and didn't sound sad at all. The leadenly weariness had disappeared.
"I need your help.. because I have to idea of what to wear tonight", she sighed and pointed at the heap of clothes upon her bed.
"It doesn't matter what you wear, you'll look beautiful anyway", he answered before thinking and regretted it immediately.
She looked up and stared at him confused. What the hell did he mean with that? Was he serious? But then she grinned. "Oh shut up Logan", she replied believing he would kidding her.
He took a deep breath, he hadn't been joking at all but it was better to let her believe that. "What's the occasion? I mean.. where are you going"?
"What? Oh.. nothing big.. John will take me out", she muttered casually and hoped he wouldn't ask any further but of course he did.
"John? Who is that?" He asked curiously. This guy seemed to mean a lot to her otherwise she wouldn't make such a peg about him. And he couldn't help but felt jealously. She wasn't supposed to be this excited about anyone besides him.
"Who John? Oh.. he's my boyfriend. Did I forget to tell you about him"? She replied and looked down. She felt slightly ashamed, Logan was her best friend and she hadn't told him a word about this important fact.
"Yeah.. I guess you 'forgot' to tell me about him. How long have you two been together"?
He didn't like the idea of Rogue dating some guy he didn't know. Especially because she hadn't mentioned him yet.
"A few months.. he's great", she quickly added because she already saw the displeasure in his eyes. Okay, that was why she hadn't told him earlier, because he was the only one who asked her these stupid questions, that made her feel uncomfortable.
"Does he treats you good"? He naturally asked, thinking he knew the answer anyway but asking to show her he cared. But her reaction stunned him and he pricked up. She went pale and he could smell panic coming from her for a few seconds but then she caught herself and put on a faked smile.
"Of course he does. He's great", she repeated and that worried him even more. And then his sight fell once again upon her bruise and he gasped. He wasn't dumb, he knew who had done that to her. Suddenly it made sense that she hadn't told him about this new boyfriend, she had known that he would figure out.
"Whoa.. wait a minute! It was him, wasn't it? This John, he hit you, he gave you that", he growled and pointed at her eye. This guy was already dead and he already began to picture what he would do to him.
Her mouth fell open and she stared at him in shock. What was she to reply? She searched in her head for an answer but she found none. She could say 'no' but would he believe her? No, he wouldn't, he would force her to tell him the truth but what was the truth? That John hit her accidentally, that he didn't mean to or that he just hit her because he loves her so much that his jealousness overcame him. Or that he hit her because he's simply an asshole who doesn't care for her at all?
"And you're going to meet him after all? Damn kid.. you're going to break p with this guy at once.. and then you tell me where he lives and I beat the crap out of him", he yelled and ripped her out of her thoughts.
She looked up and stared at him angrily.. Logan had been away for 2 years and he had no right to burst in her life like that. He wasn't allowed to boss her about. He had no right to tell her to break up with her boyfriend. And he wasn't allowed to beat John up just because he wants to. She knew that he was right; she knew that Logan said these things to protect her and she that she should do what he said. But she was born as a stubborn person and no matter how much her heart screamed to listen, her mind shut it up.
"Shut up Logan. Shut the fuck up! You have no idea; you've been gone for two years. A lot of things changed. I'm grown up now and you have no right to tell me what to do, do you copy that? When I was a kid, I trusted you to make the right decisions for me but I solve my problems on my own now. I'm living my life my own way and you have absolutely nothing to say in that", she yelled heated.
He stared at her in shock unable to say anything. Her words hit him hard, because he knew that she was right. She was grown up and he had no right to tell her what to do. And even if she was still a kid, with leaving her behind he'd lost every right to tell her anything. But still.. how was she able to admit that her boyfriend had hurt her but that she was still together with him after all?
"Marie...", he began, searching for the right words. But he didn't find them.
"It was an accident Logan.. John didn't mean to hurt me, all right? He apologized for it and I forgave him, okay?" She said and was calmer now. Was that the truth? She sighed; right now it didn't matter to her at all. As long as she told herself so it was all right and as long as Logan believed her nothing big would happen.
He took a deep breath. "Are you sure he won't hurt you again?" He asked and forced himself to stay calm. If he freaked out now, she would back away from him for good, he knew that. He would do anything to get her away from this guy but now was not the time to force her.
She looked at him and breathed a sigh of relief when she realized that he wouldn't continue on disagreeing. "Yeah.. I told him I would break up if he hurts me ever again. And I will.. I'm not stupid Logan.. I can take care of myself alone", she said.
He nodded. "I know", he replied although he didn't. He didn't want to admit to himself that she was all grown up. Because that meant she didn't need him anymore.
It was like she had read his mind for she stepped closer and smiled slightly. "Nothing has to change between the two of us just because I'm an adult now. We're still friends, you're my best friend Logan. And I don't want to lose you.. I'm glad I finally have you back and I don't want you to go away again. And.. and I need you Logan. I don't need you to protect me anymore but I need you as my friend", She said quietly.
He sighed deeply and then he smiled. He gave her his rare smile, the one that no one was allowed to see besides her. "I'm not going anywhere Marie. I'll be here always", he replied and that brought a grin back on her face.
"Good", she said and then she flung herself forward and hugged him tightly just as she'd done when she was a kid. It felt good; it made her forget all these fucking things that messed her mind up.
"And now help me find an outfit, will you"?
He raised his eyebrow. "I think you look great in what you're wearing at the moment", he said and she looked down and began to laugh. It wasn't a happy laugh, but one that sounded like hope. Hope for something or someone who would get her out of this shit.
"Logan! I'm wearing my pyjama", she yelled and giggled when he shrugged his shoulders.
It felt good to have him back in her life. Here they were again, together as friends, as confidants, as whatever. She still felt save with him around her, she still felt her heart jump every time he looked at her with his puppy eyes. The only thing that had changed was the fact that she was now grown up. She didn't now what that would mean, but she decided to wait for whatever would happen.
Over the weeks everything went back to normal. Logan and Rogue continued what they'd used to do before he went away. They met in the middle of the night, to watch TV or to just talk about everything and nothing. Sometimes when she awoke crying because of one of her nightmares he came into her room, pulling her into a hug, staying with her for the rest of the night. And whenever she felt sad, no matter about what she used to come to him. Like she'd always done.
It was one of these nights when Logan wasn't able to sleep, when his nightmares haunted him. So, he decided to stand up to get something to drink. When he arrived the kitchen and switched the lights on, he wasn't very surprised to see Rogue sitting at the window.
"Hey", he said and she whirled around startled but breathed a sign of relief when she recognized him.
"Hey yourself", she replied and then she slide away making pace for him. He understood her unuttered invitation and sat down beside her.
"What are you doing here"? He asked very well knowing the answer. It was the same reason why she used to be here every night but he asked to show her he cared.
"I could ask you the same", she answered like she always did.
"Well, yeah.. but I asked first", he replied just like he always did.
"I couldn't sleep", she simply stated and smiled slightly. And he just nodded, he didn't ask because he knew exactly what she was talking about. Nightmares, nightmares that were so horrible that both of them used to awake bathed in sweat, with a hammering heart and the wish to die.
"Me neither", he said and sighed deeply. He knew exactly what would follow then. They would sit, stare into the nothingness, maybe they would talk a little but not too much. He would get himself and her something to drink and while he'd smoke his cigarettes, she would tell him about her day at school. Like usually. But suddenly an idea formed in his mind and he began to grin. He was tired of knowing what would happen with them, what they would do. And he decided it was time to break this routine.
"Come on.. get your jacket", he said and pushed her up.
She stared at him wonderingly. "What?"
"We're going for a ride Marie. Come on hurry up", he answered and dragged her out of the kitchen, gently pushing her into her room.
"Where are we going?" She asked but he just shook his head, so she shrugged her shoulders, deciding to wait for whatever would happen und took her jacket. But then she looked down at herself and raised her eyebrow. "Logan.. wait a minute. I'm still wearing my pyjama.. I have to change", she said but he grabbed her hand and pulled her out of the room.
"Forget about it. It doesn't matter", he answered and she sighed.
"Says the man with his jeans and his thick pullover"; she replied what caused him to stop. She was right, it was bitter cold and she was only wearing a thin pyjama. "Shit", he cursed under his breath. He'd wanted this to be spontaneous adventure. He'd wanted her to forget about her nightmares, to enjoy a night without thinking over it, without caring about responsibility or any duties. He'd wanted her to fell free, at last for one night.
She watched him and smiled, she knew exactly what he thought and then she took his hand. "Come on Logan. I'll grab a blanket and you go and get the machine ready, alright"?
He looked at her and smiled. "Okay". And with that he rushed away.
She shook her head grinning and went back into her room to get her blanket. He was nuts but she loved him for that. For this cute little ideas of his; his want to surprise her; to make her feel better. That was Logan.. crazy that was out of question.. but the best friend she knew.
And while they drove through the dark and silent night, they both wondered what they would do without each other.
A/N: Okay I hope you liked that and if you do please review because that my life force and it's so damn depressing to write and nobody's interested in it. Next part will be about the first meeting between Logan and John.