Disclaimer Rurouni Kenshin is the property of Nobuhiro Watsuki, Sony Entertainment Enterprises, and Shueisha! Jump Comics. Any and all original ideas and characters are mine to claim.
A/N I hope you guys enjoy this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it. Someone asked me in their review about the possibility of whether or not Enishi will be present at the ball, considering he's a computer programmer. I don't like to give anything away unless everyone asks me to tell them, but then, isn't that what the chapter is for? However, our Tiger does have a role in this chapter (and I'm sure to receive some "comments" from Enishi-lovers because of it). So please, enjoy this one because it just happens to be the one I've been waiting to write for some time now!
Note Possible OOCness ahead. Mentions of rape and abuse. This chapter told from Kaoru's and Kenshin's POVs.
-Save Me From the Darkness-
Chapter Nine -- Confrontations & Confessions
-Kenshin-
"You look stunning, Kaoru."
It was the night of the Ball, Kaoru's twenty-fourth birthday--and the night I would tell her how I felt about her. I must admit, however, that I felt quite nervous.
Will she accept what I have to say?
She gave me a glowing smile, and my heart fluttered a bit. Kaoru looked absolutely beautiful in the gown Kamatari had made for her; it was a pale, shimmering silver-blue in color, the sleeves a flowing transparent chiffon of the same shade and fell to the floor, while the rest of it was made of satin. The skirt seemed form-fitting and pooled slightly around her feet. The gown just barely covered her shoulders, the neckline slightly curved and coming about two inches below her collarbone. There was modesty and elegance in the dress that seemed perfect for Kaoru; after all, she was pretty modest and elegant herself.
She hooked her right arm through my left, and I stuck my right hand into the pant pocket that accompanied the pants of my traditional black-and-white tux, fingering the velvet box that resided beside my car keys.
As I led her to the car, I couldn't help staring at her through the corner of my eye. Her hair was pulled away from her face in a half ponytail and held in place with a Kamatari-designed clip shaped like three jasmine flowers, silver-blue satin ribbons cascading from their stems, and the rest of her hair flowing down to her mid-thighs.
She wore little make-up--just some lipstick and eye shadow, nothing else. Swinging silver and diamond earrings fell from the lobes of her ears and glittered in the light of the setting sun, and simple silver bangles circled her wrists, making a slight clang as she walked; a simple silver and diamond choker hung around her pale neck.
Kamatari knew what I was giving her tonight, and had picked out the jewelry especially at my request; but the jewelry looked like just like something Kaoru would wear. It looked that good.
I hope she likes what I have for her.
We got into the car, and drove off, her asking questions about what would be going on, and me answering them. She was curious about who we might end up meeting at the Ball.
We finally arrived after about a twenty-minute drive to the hotel where the event was being held. I parked and helped her out of the car, and we went inside, our arms linked once again. The hotel was the Four Points-Tokyo Bay, had an amazing ballroom located on the top floor, with a wide balcony outside for those who wished to have some privacy, or to get some fresh air. It wasn't really a dinner party; instead, there were various different appetizers, desserts, and drinks (again, no alcohol; the committee must have decided they didn't want any drunk drivers after it was all over). As we walked around, looking at everything. When we ran into none other than Tae.
Turns out her restaurant was catering the food that night; so, dressed in her uniform of white tuxedo shirt, black slacks, black cummerbund and black bowtie, she walked around offering drinks and snacks with the rest of her team.
We continued to walk around, letting Tae do her job, and ended up running into a few of my colleagues: Matsutoya Hiroshi and his wife, Yumiko. Hiroshi-san and I got into a conversation about different game consoles that were already on the market, while his wife and Kaoru talked about whatever it is women talk about. By the time we separated, Kaoru had made a new friend and was very happy.
I noticed a few people had come without escorts, and I wondered how that worked, considering the invitations distinctly mentioned confirming the invitee and their escort's presence.
Hmm… Weird…
I continued to meet with colleagues and acquaintances until I felt Kaoru tug on my arm a little.
"What is it, Kaoru-dono?"
"Ano…"
-/-/-/-/-
-Kaoru-
"…Would you dance with me?"
I blushed.
I couldn't help it! He looked so handsome that night, in his traditional black-and-white tux, his blood-red hair slicked back neatly into a high ponytail that distinctly reminded me of a samurai's topknot, his bangs framing his face and falling into his lavender eyes.
He gave me one of his warm smiles, took my hand, and led me onto the dance floor. His left arm went around my waist and his right hand took my left in his own, while my own right hand rested on his left shoulder.
Kami-sama, we're standing so close… Oh no, not again! I don't want to keep blushing like a school girl!
And as we danced, I forgot that I had a slight tinge of pink on my cheeks. I forgot about the world around us as I got caught up in the music and the movement of our bodies to the varying beats of the different songs that played over the speakers.
Unfortunately, it didn't last as long as I would have liked.
From where we were dancing, we had a clear view of the entrance depending on which one of the two of us was facing it.
And I just had to be facing it when he entered the room.
He was alone and dressed in a tuxedo as well, but in a dark-gray-and-black scheme. The shirt was black; everything else was dark gray. I had to admit he looked quite good.
But looks can be deceiving.
The song had just ended, and Kenshin and I were about to go get a drink when he looked right at me.
I froze.
Oh Kami-sama…
Yukishiro is here…and he's looking at me…
What am I going to do?
-/-/-/-/-
-Kenshin-
I noticed Kaoru had stopped walking as we made our way to the refreshment table.
Why'd she freeze?
"Kaoru-dono?" I asked, turning to face her.
She looks a little scared…
The color had drained from her face, her eyes filled with panic. I followed her scared gaze, and understood immediately why she was afraid.
"Kaoru-dono? Daijoubu desu ka?"
At the sound of my voice, she snapped out of her daze and looked at me.
"Do you…"
-/-/-/-/-
-Kaoru-
"…want to leave?"
At his inquiry, I actually considered leaving…and then changed my mind immediately after that thought crossed my mind, because something Tomoe-san had told me rang through my brain like a light in the dark: "Nobody has the right to make you feel uncomfortable in any environment or situation you might be in. If you're afraid of someone, remember that it is only that--it is only a fear. Don't be afraid to confront fear, because fear can't confront you once you've confronted it."
What am I thinking? I can't just run away like a dog with its tail between its legs. That's not me! There is no way in Hell that I'm going down without a fight! What he did to me was wrong. If he tries to apologize about everything to me like he's done so many times, then it's time for him to understand that I'm not one to bend to the whims of others.
"Iie, Kenshin. I want to stay."
He nodded and gave me a warm smile.
I couldn't help smiling back.
"Kaoru?"
I turned around quickly, my skirt flaring out just a bit because of my momentum.
"Yukishiro," I said, a bit coldly than I wanted it to come out.
"Ano…may I talk to you? Alone?"
"I must apologize, but I don't trust you enough anymore to talk with you without the supervision of a third person."
"Well, I still want to talk to you. Would it be all right with you if the three of us went somewhere a little more secluded?"
"Considering what we have to talk about, no, I don't mind if we go somewhere more private."
Kenshin and I followed him to a corner near the back of the hall, Kenshin all the while looking at me curiously, as if asking, "What are you planning to do?"
We stopped walking, and I took to leaning against the wall while Kenshin simply stood next to me. Yukishiro stood facing me, his aquamarine eyes remorseful.
"Kaoru, I-I wanted to apologize--"
"Again?"
"Kaoru, I didn't mean to hurt you!"
"Didn't mean to? DIDN'T MEAN TO? How in all the levels of Hell can you say that? I tasted it in your mouth, Yukishiro! You were sober!" I exclaimed, somehow managing to keep my voice somewhat low. We were lucky people were not looking at us.
"I'm sorry…"
I was near tears.
"When I left that Saturday night, you were passed out on the floor. Do you have any idea how much you hurt me? Do you even realize what you did to me? I still have the scars that you inflicted upon me, both physically and mentally; those scars will never disappear from my being, even though they will fade with time."
He stared at me, trying to form something coherent.
I plowed on ahead, unable to stop, my voice choked and my eyes brimming.
"Your apologies are empty, Yukishiro… You've apologized so many times. I'm tired of hearing the words 'I'm sorry' spilling from your lips…
"Look, you were a really decent guy when I met you almost two and a half years ago, and you still are; I know you can be a really great guy. But you need to get over your inner demons first. I'm sorry, but I can't be with you anymore. I've given up on us ever being together. What you did was unforgivable.
"But I promise, eventually you will find the right girl for you, and I pray you'll be absolutely certain that you won't end up treating her the way you treated me. But please, and take this advice as if it's from a friend, please get help; you can overcome your inner demons and you'll feel like a brand new person.
"Good-bye, Yukishiro Enishi. After this moment, we are nothing more to each other than bitter memories."
And then Kenshin and I walked away, leaving Yukishiro dumbstruck to the point where his mouth was the perfect imitation of a fish.
I felt like I could do anything now. The memories of what he did to me would not hold me down anymore.
As I walked away with Kenshin, I couldn't help the smile that stretched across my face.
-/-/-/-/-
-Kenshin-
Kaoru looked beyond happy at the moment. I just hoped she would stay happy after I talked to her. I don't know if she had noticed, but I had yet to wish her on her birthday…
After getting something to drink and mingling some more, I was ready to get a breath of fresh air, and Kaoru agreed as well.
We made our way to the balcony, and I marveled at the view; the light of the full moon glittered on the waters of the bay as the waves crashed against the beach, and the stars shone like diamonds on dark velvet. The sky was clear, and the slight breeze blowing about was balmy and warm, perfumed with the scents of summer flowers. It was quite a beautiful sight.
I turned to look at Kaoru, and found her staring at the moon. Her hair billowed around her slightly, the sleeves of her gown following suit. The moon shone bright on her peachy cheeks, giving her face an ethereal glow; she reminded me of a goddess as she stood there in the moonlight.
Taking my chances about surprising her, I gave her a quick hug.
She looked at me in curiosity; I smiled.
"I'm proud of you. You gave him quite a verbal lashing tonight, and handled yourself really well in that particular situation. I'd say he got his just desserts."
She smiled at me. "I'm just happy to know that I don't have to worry about him anymore. He's my past, and while the past can't be changed and will always be with me, it doesn't matter anymore; what matters now is how I keep living. He gave me wounds and scars, and some of them are still healing, but I'm sure they'll heal and fade over time."
We stood there in silence for a while, just enjoying each other's company, when I decided it was time.
"Ano…Kaoru-dono?"
"Hai?"
"There's-There's something I wanted to tell you…"
-/-/-/-/-
-Kaoru-
I looked at Kenshin, his face contorted in concentration; I got the impression that he was trying to figure out how to say what he wanted to say. After a few more seconds, he spoke again.
"If…If I was to tell you…that I…would give you…all of me…would you be able and willing to accept it? Would you be able to reciprocate it? Because…well, the truth is…that…I really would…and will…give you all of me…" he said, the last few words coming out as no more than just above a whisper.
I stared at him for a few moments, processing what he had just said, trying to figure out what he was trying to say.
Is he saying what I hope he's saying? I promised myself that I would tell him how I feel tonight, but now I'm not sure what to say…
…I really would…and will…give you all of me…
I know what I'm going to say…
Coming out of my thoughts, I turned away from him and looked toward to water.
"For the longest time…"
-/-/-/-/-
-Kenshin-
"…I couldn't understand what was going on inside my mind and heart. I remember as a teen, as a child, and even now as an adult, I felt incomplete for some reason; I felt empty, like a part of me was missing. I never understood why. I thought I was being strange, and brushed the feelings aside. And then, as I worked with Tomoe-san, I realized that I only felt empty when you weren't around; but when I came to this realization, I still didn't understand why. But suddenly, however, I did understand; it was like an epiphany, I guess… Kenshin, the truth of the matter…is that…well, while you're willing to give me all of you, you don't need me to reciprocate it…because…you've always had all of me…"
I stood there, processing what had just fallen from her lips.
Did she just say what I'm pretty sure she said?
…You've always had all of me…
My heart felt like it was about to burst, like I was floating on air.
She accepts my feelings…
I smiled, and turned her towards me. She looked at me, her blue eyes shimmering like jewels, swirling with love.
She looked beyond beautiful to me right then.
I vaguely felt my head tilting towards her own, one hand reaching behind to cradle her head, the other wrapping softly around her waist, bringing her closer to me…
Her eyes slid nearly shut, and I felt her warm breath caressing my skin…
Our lips met, sweetly, softly; she tasted like berries…
This is bliss…
-/-/-/-/-
-Kaoru-
He turned me to face him, and his eyes shone with a love deeper than any I had ever known before; I was enraptured by his amethyst pools and the way the moonlight gleamed in his pale face.
He was the epitome of an angel from Heaven right then.
His hands were gentle yet firm as he held me nearer to him. I vaguely felt my own hands rest against his chest, his heartbeat pulsing silently through their sensitive palms…
My eyes almost closed, and I felt his sweet breath tickling my face. I felt my cheeks flush the tiniest bit, and was sure there was a stain of pink on my skin…
His lips met mine, gently, quietly; I was enraptured.
I lost all sense of thought, and felt myself floating away on a cloud while in his embrace…
I've never felt so free…
We broke apart once we felt the lack of air, but even then, the spell that had been cast was unbroken.
He held me close to him using his left arm, and I watched in curiosity as he reached into his pocket with his right hand and pulled out a velvet box.
The box was too big to be a ring, so I wondered what it could be as I watched him open it.
He set the open box down on the ledge, and I gasped at what I saw.
It was a delicate silver chain, and what looked like a small heart-shaped pendant. The pendant in itself was beautiful--a diamond heart sat lined by the silver of the pendant, and a small sapphire heart sat in the center of the diamond.
"It's more than just a pendant."
I looked at Kenshin as he smiled, and looked back at the "pendant". Reaching out a hand, I fingered it a bit, and felt the clasp identical to that of a locket. Slipping the chain and locket out of the box for closer inspection; once it was in my hands, I opened the locket.
Inside the locket sat two very small pictures--one was a picture of my parents and I when my mother was still alive, and the other was a picture of Kenshin and myself.
"Look at the back," he said.
I flipped the locket over and read what was engraved into the silver.
K&K Forever…
-/-/-/-/-
-Kenshin-
I took the locket and chain from Kaoru's hands, and undid the clasp on the chain; with each hand holding an end of the chain, I reached around and behind Kaoru's neck and clasped the chain shut.
"Thank you," she said softly, leaning against my chest. My arms settled around her waist and we stood there quietly for a few moments.
I was ready to call it a night.
"Kaoru-dono? Are you ready to go home?"
"Hmm…" was her only reply; I took it as a 'yes'.
"Okay," I said, and proceeded to lead her back into the ballroom so we could go to the car, and remembered something that needed to be said before the night was over.
"By the way, Kaoru-dono…"
"Hai?"
"Happy Birthday."
She smiled.
-/-/-/-/-
Please review! Arigato gozaimasu!
Oyasuminasai!
--Ice Angel Kaoru (Signing Off--2:24 AM PST, September 25, 2004)