AN: Numero Uno, review. This is my first Artemis Fowl story, so please
tell me if he goes out of character. This is a just for fun story, so it
probably won't have a plot, maybe not even an ending. But please read
anyway. Also '' means that the main character is thinking, ** means
emotion.
I do not own any characters in the Artemis fowl stories; I do own myself and a few characters I will make up later. Basically, if you don't recognize the character, I own him/her. ************************************************************************
A Meeting
This story starts on an icky Thursday afternoon. It wouldn't have been so bad if tomarro wasn't going to be Friday. You see, I hate Friday, I'm exhausted, my patients is wearing thin, and Saturday is being dangled in front of my nose. Any way, I had just finished my shower and it was 10:00 PM. I was beginning to feel dizzy, but I put it down to the fact that I had probably caught the cold going around school. I wrapped a towel around me, deciding not to take a calculated risk and dash to my room, and headed to the stairs. As I walked up the stairs to my room, I had a momentary fade out. (You know, when everything gets kind of dim, then your vision shrinks to a point of light like when you turn off one of those old TV's.) It only lasted for a moment, but it made me wonder if I should wake up my parents. I decided against it, If it got too bad tomarro, I just wouldn't go to school.
When I got into my room, I had to sit down on my bed, "maybe I should get my parents," I thought. But then I got a wave of fatigue, and just decided to go to bed, I didn't want to walk down my hall way again. My last thought was, maybe I should change into my pj's first.
"I really should see my parents, this could be serious. I'll crawl down the hallway if I have to." I mumbled.
"Butler," yelled someone to my left.
'It sounded like a boy, what did he think he was doing in my room!?'
That's when I turned to see who it was. 'It's, no it can't be, he just LOOKS like Artemis Fowl. Cause Artemis Fowl isn't real, thank god. I mean, he's nice to read about, but I wouldn't want to deal with him. But, God, that look is cold.'
Then BUTLER came charging in, and stopped dead in his tracks.
"Butler, could you please escort this girl OUT of my room." Said the boy, in a chilling voice.
'Oh my god, ARTEMIS FOWL. There is no way that someone else could just happen to act, look, and sound like Artemis Fowl. And they way he said that (shiver).' I started to stand up, mainly to try and put some space between me and ARTEMIS FOWL. That's when I remembered the towel. I made frantic grab for it, and JUST managed to catch it.
"Wait," said Artemis suddenly, "how did you manage to get past my defenses? Especially in a bright orange towel during December." He sounded slight interested, and wasn't glaring at me any more. In fact, he kinda smirked when he mentioned my attire.
All I could do was open and close my mouth like a fish. That earned me an especially cold look.
"I don't know, one minute I was in my room and the next here!" I said, my voice reaching a really high note in my panic. 'Okay, chill, deep breaths, just calm down.' "Boy do I feel stupid, talking to someone who doesn't exist. I mean, you're not real.right?"
"I am not interested in playing games, now, *how did you get in here*?" Artemis said, sounding slightly annoyed.
"I'm not playing games," I cried, close to tears now. "I'm telling the truth! Which is, Butler isn't real, or Juliet, or most of all YOU! You're all from a story. A really good story, but a story none the less, and people don't just talk to fictional storybook characters. I KNOW, I'm dreaming," I pinched myself, " no, I'm not, shit." I screamed at him, mumbling the last few lines, and almost breaking into tears, in fact, I did have a few tears run down my cheek.
Artemis just sighed and gave Butler and imploring look.
"I think she's telling the truth Artemis. We have seen more unusual things." Butler replied.
Artemis gave Butler a look, then turned to me, "It is obvious you have been watching me, and you must work with someone else, for you could not operate this by yourself." Artemis said coldly. "Now I suggest that you tell me what is going on, or I'll have to keep you locked up until new information is made present."
"But I'm telling the truth!" I yelled, this time truly breaking into tears. "Damn hormones, I don't really feel this bad!" I managed to say through my tears. I saw Butler kinda half grin, which made me feel better.
"Artemis, do you really have to put her into that room. She looks like she's in pretty bad shape already." Implored Butler.
" But if she's acting, she could get out of any other room." Replied Artemis flatly.
The disgusted look he sent me shocked me out of my tears, to my relief.
" What about your mothers old room, when she was sick?" asked Butler.
"No, I can't take the risk."
That's when JULIET entered the room, "What's going o." started Juliet, then she saw me, "oh."
"This girl somehow broke into Artemis' room wearing a bright orange towel, and without any of our cameras seeing her." Butler told Juliet.
"Well, what are we going to do?" asked Juliet.
"Artemis wants to put her in Holly's room." Replied Butler. He sounded slightly pissed.
Juliet gave me a long look, "Why don't we put her in your Mom's old room Artemis?" she asked with a, if-you-don't-say-yes-I'm-going-to-make-your- life-miserable, look.
Artemis glared at her for a long time before saying, "Very well." Though I think he was plotting revenge tactics, then again, that doesn't seem like Artemis, saying yes doesn't seem like him either.
"Then you won't mind if I take her to my room to use some of my clothes." Said Juliet briskly, while grabbing me by the hand and rushing me out of the room.
I heard Artemis begin to tell us to get back in there before we went around the corner. Half way to Juliet's room, Butler showed up and walked the rest of the way with us. I just assumed that Artemis had sent him.
As soon as I entered Juliet's room, the first thing I noticed was her closet. It was a huge walk in closet with mirror doors. It covered an entire wall; she even had enough clothes to fill it! We left the room with me wearing a green sun dress that Juliet confessed to not knowing how it got in there.
"I want your closet so bad," I told Juliet as we left her room, "I mean, walk in, mirror doors. How did you get that room?" Meanwhile I was thinking, 'Artemis isn't very cold, and Juliet just isn't Juliet, what the Hell is going on? Maybe the fourth bok already took place, and that's why they are so different.'
Juliet just laughed, and gave me a smile. "I expected you to be slightly surprised about the wrestling posters on the walls. Do you like wrestling?" Juliet asked, sounding slightly hopeful.
"No, I just read your book." I answered offhandedly. 'Now that sounds like Juliet.' I thought with relief.
"What," asked Juliet, sounding slightly mystified.
Juliet started bugging me about what I had meant by that, and I was fully enjoying myself until I walked around the corner and saw the-ruler-of-scare- stares. "Why don't we retire to the lounge?" Artemis asked, sounding the hospitable host, in The Revenge of the Mummy sort of way.
I just bit my lip and followed him down the stairs, and into the lounge.
************************************************************************ AN: I am really enjoying this, what about you. As I have mentioned before, if any of the characters go out of character, please tell me. This is my first Artemis fic. And I want to get it right. I would normally start a new chapter here, but my Internet isn't working, so never mind. And on to the story for those of you that are going, GET ON WITH IT! ************************************************************************
As soon as we arrived in the lounge, everyone but me took a seat. After looking around for a while, I decided to sit Indian style on the floor.
Artemis gave me a funny look, then said I a chilling voice, "what did you mean by, you're all from a story?"
"Exactly what I said," I replied nervously, I mean, God, this guy was giving me the coldest look possible.
"Then why do you sound so nervous, if you were telling the truth you shouldn't have a problem telling me this." Artemis replied in a bored tone.
"Well I'm sorry *your highness* if I'm slightly thrown off by the fact that I'm talking to a person who's not supposed to exist. And it doesn't help any that the-ruler-of-the-vampire-smile is giving me a look that could freeze the blood in my veins right now!" (Mood swings, another joy of teenage hood, Weee) I replied in an ever so slightly stiff voice. I was pissed, all right, give me a break!
Artemis gave me a slightly shocked look before continuing, that is, a slightly shocked look for Artemis, "then prove that what you say is true."
"Why don't you just say, *then prove it*. All right, Um, there's Holly the elf that seems to punch you every time you two come in contact. There's Foaly, a centar, who feels relieved to have another genius who can say I understand and really mean it. Lets see, there's Root who got his nickname Beet Root from how his face turns a livid red when he gets angry. Holly healed your Mom even though you held her prisoner in a concrete room. You rescued your father last year and anything concerning fairies was erased from your memory. Shall I go on," I said, sluring my words together ever so slightly I was speaking so quickly, I was unable to keep from grinning.
Artemis was just staring at me, and I burst into peals of laughter, unable to stop giggling until Artemis shocked me out of it by saying, "Butler, put her in Holly's room, while I call some friends."
"Oh! Does that mean I get to meat Holly!" I said. (Hey, it was 1:00 in the morning, and I need my sleep or it's like I'm on drugs.) "Oh shit, did I say that out loud?" I asked nervously. Juliet just nodded at me, and my stomach dropped.
Artemis looked at me murderously before he said, "Butler, now."
I kept looking over my shoulder as Butler lead me out of the lounge and into the concrete cell. (I have a small part in the play, Clue, at school. I'm the singing telegram girl. You know, the one who says, I'm your singing telegram, then gets shot. Well I felt like I had just mis-said my line, and was waiting to be shot. It wasn't a good feeling.) As soon as I entered the concrete cell, I flopped onto the cot and fel fast asleep. My last thought was that Maybe I should be a little more worried than I am.
************************************************************************ AN: This is the next day, and a new chapter. My internet still isn't working, Shit!
************************************************************************
The next day I woke up suddenly, thinking I was late for school.
"OH SHIT! I told Mama that I needed to get a new alarm." I trailed off when I remmembered where I was. "Well, I got to sleep in." I finished, trying to cheer myself up.
I decided to see if I could get anymore sleep, you never pass up an opertunity to sleep in. But the Z's all managed to hide behind my fear of what was going to happen. After a couple of minutes, I gave up and started pacing. You see, I'm not someone who can hold still for very long, and this was killing me. That was when it dawned on me to try the door and see if it was locked. It was.
"Just figured I'd give it a shot," I told the camera. Then I started to make faces at it, I found it very amusing, and I'm sure the people watching me did too. After a while I did pretty much every face I could possibly make and decided to do something else. I decided to sing every song I had ever learned.
I started with The Red Red Robin, "When the red red robin goes bob bob bobbin along, along, They'll be no one sobin when his trough throbin his own, sweet song, Wake up, wake up you sleepy head, Get up, get up, get out of bed, Cheer up, cheer up, the sun is red, Live, love, laugh and be happy."
I sang, and not too terribly if you ask me.
Soon I had exahsted my entire supply of folk songs, lullabyes, pop songs, rock songs, country songs, jazz songs, and love songs that don't fit into any of those catagories already. I was betting that whoever was watching me wanted to rip my vocal chords out right now.
"You know, I'd shut up if you brought me some coloring supplies and food." I said hopefully.
Sure enough, not five minutes later Juliet entered with colored pencils, crayons, paper, a regular pencil, and cold cerial without any milk.
"Thank you much," I said before immediately setting in on the cerial.
"Anything to shut you up," Juliet answered, her voice laughing. "You aren't very good at amusing yourself, are you?" she asked.
"Whatever gave you that idea?" I asked inocently.
Juliet snorted, "Oh, Artemis told me to tell you to shut up."
"In so many words?" I asked amazed.
"No, he phrased it much more.professionaly." She replied with a grin.
"All right, I couldn't see him saying 'shut up,'" I said while laughing.
"Well, I got to go now before Artemis throws a fit, but by the way, how did you know all that stuff about us." Juliet asked in a serious voice.
"Exactaly what I said. Back home you are all just a storybook, well three actually. Do you think I'm dreaming?" I asked suddenly.
"If you think you're dreaming, why would you ask me?"
"Cause I don't think I am."
"Good, cause I don't either. For some reason I don't think that I'm just a character in a story."
"Okay, thanks. You better get back before Artemis goes balistic." I reminded her.
"Oh, yeah," she said nervously. And quickly left the room. Ten really good drawings, and to many to count really bad drawings later, Artemis entered the room. As he walked in I saw a "heat shimer" enter with him. I cocked an eyebrow but didn't move from my Indian style position on the floor.
"So?" I asked.
"So what?" replied Artemis.
I was slightly confused, Artemis doesn't act like that, what was up? "Well you obviously came in here for something, if only to tell my that my singing sucks, or that my faces are beautiful," I replied. My voiced laughed when I mentioned my singing. I often wander around my house singing, then get told to shut up by my sister.
"How did you get in my room," Artemis said, pronouncing every word clearly.
"You know, when you talk like that, you sound like the stupid one." I said with a grin. "And I still stand by what I said yesterday."
"Could you repeat what you said yesterday?" he growled at me. Artemis Fowl was loseing his composer, what the hell was going on.
"Why would I want to do that? I already told you, and I'm sure that the genius who is loved by all girls on fanfiction would be able to remember what I said." I teased. His, I-will-freeze-the-blood-in-your-veins look didn't affect me as much anymore. After a long silence on his part I finally said, "If you want me to repeat what I said for Holly, or if that heat shimmer was Holly, just say so."
Artemis had this expresion that screamed I told you so. Then right next to me Holly unsheilded. My first thought was, 'I am so lucky it wasn't Root who decided to visit.'
"Wait a minute, how come you got the fairy people things, I mean they mind wiped you? Oh, the fourth book all ready happened didn't it." I babbled, receiving a really cold look from Artemis. "Shutting up." I said quickly.
"So, will you tell me what you told Artemis?" Holly asked with a grin.
"I guess so, all right, I was sitting on my bed when I got dizzy and blacked out. When I woke up I was in Artemis' room." I explained in a monotone. Holly opened her mouth but I cut her off. "Back home you are all just a story book, that's how I know about all of you and why I was so freaked out about being here."
Holly didn't say anything. She seemed to be wincing, as if someone was yellinging her ear.
"Is Beet Root flipping out?" I asked, unable to keep the giggle out of my voice. 'My gosh, I sound like a ditz, no chill out! Stop giggleing.' I thought frantically. 'Who thought that I would act like a ditz in a dangerous situation?'
Holly gave me a horrified look, and I heard a voice faintly coming from her helmet, "Beet Root, who calls me Beet Root. Foaly stop laughing, I'll have your tail for this!" Yelled Root.
"Oops," I said, wincing. "Why don't you take that off before you go deaf, I'm sure you'll be able to hear him just fine." I said.
"Holly, get back here!" I heard Root yell.
"Sorry," I murmmered.
Holly just gave me a suicide-would-be-better-than-what's-about-to-happen-to- me look.
As Holly left the room, I noticed the smirk on Artemis' face, and it was directed at me! So I stuck my tounge out at him of course, I'm sure that showed him. Ha!
An hour or so later Artemis showed up and asked me to follow him into the Lounge. When I reached the lounge there was, Holly, Root, and a TV or something like it with Foalys face on it.
I just walked in gave every one a big smile and sat down in Indian Style by the door. (I have this thing where I am ALWAYS happy, it really drives my friends nuts, especially on Monday. It probably doesn't help that I'm a morning person.) Artemis gave me a cold look and walked over to a big soft chair.
"We believe that you are telling the truth about your world having us be a story. I don't know how it could be true, but it is." Foaly told me.
"It's nice to get that out of the way, so what now?" I asked, honestly curious.
"Well, we'd like to help you find your way home." Holly told me, while Root looked like he wanted to do anything but.
"Even Artemis," I asked amazed.
"Yes, he does to." Holly replied in a confused voice.
"And I asume he wants to play the good samaritan," I said in a scornful voice, it was pratically dripping with sarcasm. Artemis just gave gave me an unreadable look, and no one else said anything. Though they did look pretty uncomftrable. "What is it. He's going to find a way to rob my world! Isn't he!" I said, a not of panic creeping into my voice.
"Well, it did cross his mind, but we don't know what damage it would cause." answered Holly.
"Not to mention it would upset his mother." Said Juliet, giving Artemis a look like only girls can. He didn't notice though.
"What? Why would he care if it would upset his mother." I asked. Quite confused now.
"I am not completely heartless." Artemis replied cooly. I snorted, and Holly coughed, in response to that, Artemis gave us the worst glare possible. Holy stopped coughing pretty fast, and I didn't start laughing either.
"How would I get back?" I asked hopefully.
"We don't really know. We were hopeing you would have some ideas." Foaly told me, looking hopefully at me.
"You think that I, the girl who is is having ttrouble with Algebra one, will be able to help you find a way into alternate dimensions." I asked, my disbelief plain in my voice.
"They were hopeing you might be a genius," Artemis scoffed.
"That's the nicest thing I ever heard. Thinking I might be smart enough to contribute when THE Artemis Fowl was around." I said, my voice fawning. "Get over yourself your highness."
"Maybe I won't help her." muttered Artemis.
"You know, it Was a back handed complement." I said darkley.
I glanced at Butler, and saw that he was grinning. "What's so funny?" I asked. "Are you laughing at us." I said with a mischevious grin. Artemis gave Butler a long look, while Butler tried to keep form smiling, only managing to make his mouth twitch.
"Um, where am I going to stay?" I asked.
"At Artemis', replied Root, speaking for once.
"No!" I shouted, "I mean, I wouldn't want to impose. No I don't, I mean, I don't want anything to do with The-king-of-the-vampire-smile." I said in a quieter voice.
"I wonder why." Holly commented dryly.
After a stunned silence on my part I asked, "So, will I be able to contribute anything to figureing this out?"
"I don't think so," replied Artemis scornfully.
"Then I'm out-a-here, hope I'll see you soon. It's not every day you get to talk to your favorite storybook character." I said, it was directed at Holly. As I left I could have sworn that I'd heard Foaly say, I wonder if I'm anyones favorite character?
I headed straight to the kitchen where I saw Juliet cooking. "I never thought of you as someone who would cook."
"Well, you don't know me, how do you even know that whoever the author of our story is got me right."
"I don't, what are you making?"
"Choclate cake, and bread."
"Ooh, I love making bread, can I help?" My mom likes to make bread, and I learned from her, there is nothing better than hot bread on a winters day.
"Sure, first you need to."
"Get out a BIG mixing bowl and fill it with, well my resipy says, a cup and a half of luke warm water."
"Okay, never mind." Said juliet laughingly.
A few minutes later:
"Um. Where is the flour?"
"It's in that cuboard over there," responded Juliet absent mindedly.
I pulled it out and started dragging a HUGE bag of flour across the floor.
"You could have used the tin container you know." Juliet laughed.
"OH, and I supposed you just, forgot, to tell me until I got half way across the floor?" I commented sarcasticly as I started dragging it back.
"Mmm," Juliet said non-commitaly.
After I got the flour back into the cuboard I looked for the tin container, "Um, Juliet, I can't find it."
"Oh, I forgot, Bulter broke it a couple of days ago." Juliet replied with a grin.
"How did Butler manage to break. Hey! You KNEW all along, there is no way you forgot." I replied testily.
"Now why would I ever do that?" asked Juliet innocently.
In response I reached into the flour bag and puled out a hand full of flour, "WELL FORGET THIS!" I yelled. Laughing so hard I could barely get the words out. As Soon as I got the words out I started grabbing handfulls of flower at a time and throwing them at her.
"Hey! Stop that! OH your dead." Growled Juliet. She reached into a cuboard next to her and pulled out a tin container full of flour.
"HEY! You could have mentioned that before." then I received a mouthfull of flower courtessy of Juliet.
A tremendous flower fight ensued, punctuated by laughter and a few choice comments.
That was when Artemis, along with Holly and co. entered.
"Juliet could you." Artemis began. "What do you think you are doing?" He asked coldly. Needless to say we stopped throwing flour immediately.
Butler entered right then gave the now white room (not to mention Juliet and I) one look and left immediately. I think I heard laughter out in the hallway. Holly was looking pretty amused, particularily at Artemis' face.
"This is not your house." Artemis began coldly.
"I WOULD have cleaned it up," I answered stiffly.
"That is besides the point." He replied, sounding like my Mom in a I-am- going-to-kill-you kind of way.
"Oh just throw the flour at him," Juliet whispered.
I gave her a huge grinn and threw a handfull of flour at Artemis' spotless black suit. He was speachless, if he was anyone else I would have expected him to through the flour bag over my head and then strangle me.
"Oh please, it just brushes off," I started to demonstrait, brushing my enirely white self off, "See."
"Well, I hope you two have a good time." Holly said. Then she and all the other 'fairies' turned and left the house. Artemis escorted them to the door, and as soon as I heard the front door slam, a chorus of laughter sounded through the house.
Unfortunatley Artemis returned, "clean up this mess, then Butler will show you your room." As he walked up the hallway I think I heard him mutter, "I should make her sleep out side."
I do not own any characters in the Artemis fowl stories; I do own myself and a few characters I will make up later. Basically, if you don't recognize the character, I own him/her. ************************************************************************
A Meeting
This story starts on an icky Thursday afternoon. It wouldn't have been so bad if tomarro wasn't going to be Friday. You see, I hate Friday, I'm exhausted, my patients is wearing thin, and Saturday is being dangled in front of my nose. Any way, I had just finished my shower and it was 10:00 PM. I was beginning to feel dizzy, but I put it down to the fact that I had probably caught the cold going around school. I wrapped a towel around me, deciding not to take a calculated risk and dash to my room, and headed to the stairs. As I walked up the stairs to my room, I had a momentary fade out. (You know, when everything gets kind of dim, then your vision shrinks to a point of light like when you turn off one of those old TV's.) It only lasted for a moment, but it made me wonder if I should wake up my parents. I decided against it, If it got too bad tomarro, I just wouldn't go to school.
When I got into my room, I had to sit down on my bed, "maybe I should get my parents," I thought. But then I got a wave of fatigue, and just decided to go to bed, I didn't want to walk down my hall way again. My last thought was, maybe I should change into my pj's first.
"I really should see my parents, this could be serious. I'll crawl down the hallway if I have to." I mumbled.
"Butler," yelled someone to my left.
'It sounded like a boy, what did he think he was doing in my room!?'
That's when I turned to see who it was. 'It's, no it can't be, he just LOOKS like Artemis Fowl. Cause Artemis Fowl isn't real, thank god. I mean, he's nice to read about, but I wouldn't want to deal with him. But, God, that look is cold.'
Then BUTLER came charging in, and stopped dead in his tracks.
"Butler, could you please escort this girl OUT of my room." Said the boy, in a chilling voice.
'Oh my god, ARTEMIS FOWL. There is no way that someone else could just happen to act, look, and sound like Artemis Fowl. And they way he said that (shiver).' I started to stand up, mainly to try and put some space between me and ARTEMIS FOWL. That's when I remembered the towel. I made frantic grab for it, and JUST managed to catch it.
"Wait," said Artemis suddenly, "how did you manage to get past my defenses? Especially in a bright orange towel during December." He sounded slight interested, and wasn't glaring at me any more. In fact, he kinda smirked when he mentioned my attire.
All I could do was open and close my mouth like a fish. That earned me an especially cold look.
"I don't know, one minute I was in my room and the next here!" I said, my voice reaching a really high note in my panic. 'Okay, chill, deep breaths, just calm down.' "Boy do I feel stupid, talking to someone who doesn't exist. I mean, you're not real.right?"
"I am not interested in playing games, now, *how did you get in here*?" Artemis said, sounding slightly annoyed.
"I'm not playing games," I cried, close to tears now. "I'm telling the truth! Which is, Butler isn't real, or Juliet, or most of all YOU! You're all from a story. A really good story, but a story none the less, and people don't just talk to fictional storybook characters. I KNOW, I'm dreaming," I pinched myself, " no, I'm not, shit." I screamed at him, mumbling the last few lines, and almost breaking into tears, in fact, I did have a few tears run down my cheek.
Artemis just sighed and gave Butler and imploring look.
"I think she's telling the truth Artemis. We have seen more unusual things." Butler replied.
Artemis gave Butler a look, then turned to me, "It is obvious you have been watching me, and you must work with someone else, for you could not operate this by yourself." Artemis said coldly. "Now I suggest that you tell me what is going on, or I'll have to keep you locked up until new information is made present."
"But I'm telling the truth!" I yelled, this time truly breaking into tears. "Damn hormones, I don't really feel this bad!" I managed to say through my tears. I saw Butler kinda half grin, which made me feel better.
"Artemis, do you really have to put her into that room. She looks like she's in pretty bad shape already." Implored Butler.
" But if she's acting, she could get out of any other room." Replied Artemis flatly.
The disgusted look he sent me shocked me out of my tears, to my relief.
" What about your mothers old room, when she was sick?" asked Butler.
"No, I can't take the risk."
That's when JULIET entered the room, "What's going o." started Juliet, then she saw me, "oh."
"This girl somehow broke into Artemis' room wearing a bright orange towel, and without any of our cameras seeing her." Butler told Juliet.
"Well, what are we going to do?" asked Juliet.
"Artemis wants to put her in Holly's room." Replied Butler. He sounded slightly pissed.
Juliet gave me a long look, "Why don't we put her in your Mom's old room Artemis?" she asked with a, if-you-don't-say-yes-I'm-going-to-make-your- life-miserable, look.
Artemis glared at her for a long time before saying, "Very well." Though I think he was plotting revenge tactics, then again, that doesn't seem like Artemis, saying yes doesn't seem like him either.
"Then you won't mind if I take her to my room to use some of my clothes." Said Juliet briskly, while grabbing me by the hand and rushing me out of the room.
I heard Artemis begin to tell us to get back in there before we went around the corner. Half way to Juliet's room, Butler showed up and walked the rest of the way with us. I just assumed that Artemis had sent him.
As soon as I entered Juliet's room, the first thing I noticed was her closet. It was a huge walk in closet with mirror doors. It covered an entire wall; she even had enough clothes to fill it! We left the room with me wearing a green sun dress that Juliet confessed to not knowing how it got in there.
"I want your closet so bad," I told Juliet as we left her room, "I mean, walk in, mirror doors. How did you get that room?" Meanwhile I was thinking, 'Artemis isn't very cold, and Juliet just isn't Juliet, what the Hell is going on? Maybe the fourth bok already took place, and that's why they are so different.'
Juliet just laughed, and gave me a smile. "I expected you to be slightly surprised about the wrestling posters on the walls. Do you like wrestling?" Juliet asked, sounding slightly hopeful.
"No, I just read your book." I answered offhandedly. 'Now that sounds like Juliet.' I thought with relief.
"What," asked Juliet, sounding slightly mystified.
Juliet started bugging me about what I had meant by that, and I was fully enjoying myself until I walked around the corner and saw the-ruler-of-scare- stares. "Why don't we retire to the lounge?" Artemis asked, sounding the hospitable host, in The Revenge of the Mummy sort of way.
I just bit my lip and followed him down the stairs, and into the lounge.
************************************************************************ AN: I am really enjoying this, what about you. As I have mentioned before, if any of the characters go out of character, please tell me. This is my first Artemis fic. And I want to get it right. I would normally start a new chapter here, but my Internet isn't working, so never mind. And on to the story for those of you that are going, GET ON WITH IT! ************************************************************************
As soon as we arrived in the lounge, everyone but me took a seat. After looking around for a while, I decided to sit Indian style on the floor.
Artemis gave me a funny look, then said I a chilling voice, "what did you mean by, you're all from a story?"
"Exactly what I said," I replied nervously, I mean, God, this guy was giving me the coldest look possible.
"Then why do you sound so nervous, if you were telling the truth you shouldn't have a problem telling me this." Artemis replied in a bored tone.
"Well I'm sorry *your highness* if I'm slightly thrown off by the fact that I'm talking to a person who's not supposed to exist. And it doesn't help any that the-ruler-of-the-vampire-smile is giving me a look that could freeze the blood in my veins right now!" (Mood swings, another joy of teenage hood, Weee) I replied in an ever so slightly stiff voice. I was pissed, all right, give me a break!
Artemis gave me a slightly shocked look before continuing, that is, a slightly shocked look for Artemis, "then prove that what you say is true."
"Why don't you just say, *then prove it*. All right, Um, there's Holly the elf that seems to punch you every time you two come in contact. There's Foaly, a centar, who feels relieved to have another genius who can say I understand and really mean it. Lets see, there's Root who got his nickname Beet Root from how his face turns a livid red when he gets angry. Holly healed your Mom even though you held her prisoner in a concrete room. You rescued your father last year and anything concerning fairies was erased from your memory. Shall I go on," I said, sluring my words together ever so slightly I was speaking so quickly, I was unable to keep from grinning.
Artemis was just staring at me, and I burst into peals of laughter, unable to stop giggling until Artemis shocked me out of it by saying, "Butler, put her in Holly's room, while I call some friends."
"Oh! Does that mean I get to meat Holly!" I said. (Hey, it was 1:00 in the morning, and I need my sleep or it's like I'm on drugs.) "Oh shit, did I say that out loud?" I asked nervously. Juliet just nodded at me, and my stomach dropped.
Artemis looked at me murderously before he said, "Butler, now."
I kept looking over my shoulder as Butler lead me out of the lounge and into the concrete cell. (I have a small part in the play, Clue, at school. I'm the singing telegram girl. You know, the one who says, I'm your singing telegram, then gets shot. Well I felt like I had just mis-said my line, and was waiting to be shot. It wasn't a good feeling.) As soon as I entered the concrete cell, I flopped onto the cot and fel fast asleep. My last thought was that Maybe I should be a little more worried than I am.
************************************************************************ AN: This is the next day, and a new chapter. My internet still isn't working, Shit!
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The next day I woke up suddenly, thinking I was late for school.
"OH SHIT! I told Mama that I needed to get a new alarm." I trailed off when I remmembered where I was. "Well, I got to sleep in." I finished, trying to cheer myself up.
I decided to see if I could get anymore sleep, you never pass up an opertunity to sleep in. But the Z's all managed to hide behind my fear of what was going to happen. After a couple of minutes, I gave up and started pacing. You see, I'm not someone who can hold still for very long, and this was killing me. That was when it dawned on me to try the door and see if it was locked. It was.
"Just figured I'd give it a shot," I told the camera. Then I started to make faces at it, I found it very amusing, and I'm sure the people watching me did too. After a while I did pretty much every face I could possibly make and decided to do something else. I decided to sing every song I had ever learned.
I started with The Red Red Robin, "When the red red robin goes bob bob bobbin along, along, They'll be no one sobin when his trough throbin his own, sweet song, Wake up, wake up you sleepy head, Get up, get up, get out of bed, Cheer up, cheer up, the sun is red, Live, love, laugh and be happy."
I sang, and not too terribly if you ask me.
Soon I had exahsted my entire supply of folk songs, lullabyes, pop songs, rock songs, country songs, jazz songs, and love songs that don't fit into any of those catagories already. I was betting that whoever was watching me wanted to rip my vocal chords out right now.
"You know, I'd shut up if you brought me some coloring supplies and food." I said hopefully.
Sure enough, not five minutes later Juliet entered with colored pencils, crayons, paper, a regular pencil, and cold cerial without any milk.
"Thank you much," I said before immediately setting in on the cerial.
"Anything to shut you up," Juliet answered, her voice laughing. "You aren't very good at amusing yourself, are you?" she asked.
"Whatever gave you that idea?" I asked inocently.
Juliet snorted, "Oh, Artemis told me to tell you to shut up."
"In so many words?" I asked amazed.
"No, he phrased it much more.professionaly." She replied with a grin.
"All right, I couldn't see him saying 'shut up,'" I said while laughing.
"Well, I got to go now before Artemis throws a fit, but by the way, how did you know all that stuff about us." Juliet asked in a serious voice.
"Exactaly what I said. Back home you are all just a storybook, well three actually. Do you think I'm dreaming?" I asked suddenly.
"If you think you're dreaming, why would you ask me?"
"Cause I don't think I am."
"Good, cause I don't either. For some reason I don't think that I'm just a character in a story."
"Okay, thanks. You better get back before Artemis goes balistic." I reminded her.
"Oh, yeah," she said nervously. And quickly left the room. Ten really good drawings, and to many to count really bad drawings later, Artemis entered the room. As he walked in I saw a "heat shimer" enter with him. I cocked an eyebrow but didn't move from my Indian style position on the floor.
"So?" I asked.
"So what?" replied Artemis.
I was slightly confused, Artemis doesn't act like that, what was up? "Well you obviously came in here for something, if only to tell my that my singing sucks, or that my faces are beautiful," I replied. My voiced laughed when I mentioned my singing. I often wander around my house singing, then get told to shut up by my sister.
"How did you get in my room," Artemis said, pronouncing every word clearly.
"You know, when you talk like that, you sound like the stupid one." I said with a grin. "And I still stand by what I said yesterday."
"Could you repeat what you said yesterday?" he growled at me. Artemis Fowl was loseing his composer, what the hell was going on.
"Why would I want to do that? I already told you, and I'm sure that the genius who is loved by all girls on fanfiction would be able to remember what I said." I teased. His, I-will-freeze-the-blood-in-your-veins look didn't affect me as much anymore. After a long silence on his part I finally said, "If you want me to repeat what I said for Holly, or if that heat shimmer was Holly, just say so."
Artemis had this expresion that screamed I told you so. Then right next to me Holly unsheilded. My first thought was, 'I am so lucky it wasn't Root who decided to visit.'
"Wait a minute, how come you got the fairy people things, I mean they mind wiped you? Oh, the fourth book all ready happened didn't it." I babbled, receiving a really cold look from Artemis. "Shutting up." I said quickly.
"So, will you tell me what you told Artemis?" Holly asked with a grin.
"I guess so, all right, I was sitting on my bed when I got dizzy and blacked out. When I woke up I was in Artemis' room." I explained in a monotone. Holly opened her mouth but I cut her off. "Back home you are all just a story book, that's how I know about all of you and why I was so freaked out about being here."
Holly didn't say anything. She seemed to be wincing, as if someone was yellinging her ear.
"Is Beet Root flipping out?" I asked, unable to keep the giggle out of my voice. 'My gosh, I sound like a ditz, no chill out! Stop giggleing.' I thought frantically. 'Who thought that I would act like a ditz in a dangerous situation?'
Holly gave me a horrified look, and I heard a voice faintly coming from her helmet, "Beet Root, who calls me Beet Root. Foaly stop laughing, I'll have your tail for this!" Yelled Root.
"Oops," I said, wincing. "Why don't you take that off before you go deaf, I'm sure you'll be able to hear him just fine." I said.
"Holly, get back here!" I heard Root yell.
"Sorry," I murmmered.
Holly just gave me a suicide-would-be-better-than-what's-about-to-happen-to- me look.
As Holly left the room, I noticed the smirk on Artemis' face, and it was directed at me! So I stuck my tounge out at him of course, I'm sure that showed him. Ha!
An hour or so later Artemis showed up and asked me to follow him into the Lounge. When I reached the lounge there was, Holly, Root, and a TV or something like it with Foalys face on it.
I just walked in gave every one a big smile and sat down in Indian Style by the door. (I have this thing where I am ALWAYS happy, it really drives my friends nuts, especially on Monday. It probably doesn't help that I'm a morning person.) Artemis gave me a cold look and walked over to a big soft chair.
"We believe that you are telling the truth about your world having us be a story. I don't know how it could be true, but it is." Foaly told me.
"It's nice to get that out of the way, so what now?" I asked, honestly curious.
"Well, we'd like to help you find your way home." Holly told me, while Root looked like he wanted to do anything but.
"Even Artemis," I asked amazed.
"Yes, he does to." Holly replied in a confused voice.
"And I asume he wants to play the good samaritan," I said in a scornful voice, it was pratically dripping with sarcasm. Artemis just gave gave me an unreadable look, and no one else said anything. Though they did look pretty uncomftrable. "What is it. He's going to find a way to rob my world! Isn't he!" I said, a not of panic creeping into my voice.
"Well, it did cross his mind, but we don't know what damage it would cause." answered Holly.
"Not to mention it would upset his mother." Said Juliet, giving Artemis a look like only girls can. He didn't notice though.
"What? Why would he care if it would upset his mother." I asked. Quite confused now.
"I am not completely heartless." Artemis replied cooly. I snorted, and Holly coughed, in response to that, Artemis gave us the worst glare possible. Holy stopped coughing pretty fast, and I didn't start laughing either.
"How would I get back?" I asked hopefully.
"We don't really know. We were hopeing you would have some ideas." Foaly told me, looking hopefully at me.
"You think that I, the girl who is is having ttrouble with Algebra one, will be able to help you find a way into alternate dimensions." I asked, my disbelief plain in my voice.
"They were hopeing you might be a genius," Artemis scoffed.
"That's the nicest thing I ever heard. Thinking I might be smart enough to contribute when THE Artemis Fowl was around." I said, my voice fawning. "Get over yourself your highness."
"Maybe I won't help her." muttered Artemis.
"You know, it Was a back handed complement." I said darkley.
I glanced at Butler, and saw that he was grinning. "What's so funny?" I asked. "Are you laughing at us." I said with a mischevious grin. Artemis gave Butler a long look, while Butler tried to keep form smiling, only managing to make his mouth twitch.
"Um, where am I going to stay?" I asked.
"At Artemis', replied Root, speaking for once.
"No!" I shouted, "I mean, I wouldn't want to impose. No I don't, I mean, I don't want anything to do with The-king-of-the-vampire-smile." I said in a quieter voice.
"I wonder why." Holly commented dryly.
After a stunned silence on my part I asked, "So, will I be able to contribute anything to figureing this out?"
"I don't think so," replied Artemis scornfully.
"Then I'm out-a-here, hope I'll see you soon. It's not every day you get to talk to your favorite storybook character." I said, it was directed at Holly. As I left I could have sworn that I'd heard Foaly say, I wonder if I'm anyones favorite character?
I headed straight to the kitchen where I saw Juliet cooking. "I never thought of you as someone who would cook."
"Well, you don't know me, how do you even know that whoever the author of our story is got me right."
"I don't, what are you making?"
"Choclate cake, and bread."
"Ooh, I love making bread, can I help?" My mom likes to make bread, and I learned from her, there is nothing better than hot bread on a winters day.
"Sure, first you need to."
"Get out a BIG mixing bowl and fill it with, well my resipy says, a cup and a half of luke warm water."
"Okay, never mind." Said juliet laughingly.
A few minutes later:
"Um. Where is the flour?"
"It's in that cuboard over there," responded Juliet absent mindedly.
I pulled it out and started dragging a HUGE bag of flour across the floor.
"You could have used the tin container you know." Juliet laughed.
"OH, and I supposed you just, forgot, to tell me until I got half way across the floor?" I commented sarcasticly as I started dragging it back.
"Mmm," Juliet said non-commitaly.
After I got the flour back into the cuboard I looked for the tin container, "Um, Juliet, I can't find it."
"Oh, I forgot, Bulter broke it a couple of days ago." Juliet replied with a grin.
"How did Butler manage to break. Hey! You KNEW all along, there is no way you forgot." I replied testily.
"Now why would I ever do that?" asked Juliet innocently.
In response I reached into the flour bag and puled out a hand full of flour, "WELL FORGET THIS!" I yelled. Laughing so hard I could barely get the words out. As Soon as I got the words out I started grabbing handfulls of flower at a time and throwing them at her.
"Hey! Stop that! OH your dead." Growled Juliet. She reached into a cuboard next to her and pulled out a tin container full of flour.
"HEY! You could have mentioned that before." then I received a mouthfull of flower courtessy of Juliet.
A tremendous flower fight ensued, punctuated by laughter and a few choice comments.
That was when Artemis, along with Holly and co. entered.
"Juliet could you." Artemis began. "What do you think you are doing?" He asked coldly. Needless to say we stopped throwing flour immediately.
Butler entered right then gave the now white room (not to mention Juliet and I) one look and left immediately. I think I heard laughter out in the hallway. Holly was looking pretty amused, particularily at Artemis' face.
"This is not your house." Artemis began coldly.
"I WOULD have cleaned it up," I answered stiffly.
"That is besides the point." He replied, sounding like my Mom in a I-am- going-to-kill-you kind of way.
"Oh just throw the flour at him," Juliet whispered.
I gave her a huge grinn and threw a handfull of flour at Artemis' spotless black suit. He was speachless, if he was anyone else I would have expected him to through the flour bag over my head and then strangle me.
"Oh please, it just brushes off," I started to demonstrait, brushing my enirely white self off, "See."
"Well, I hope you two have a good time." Holly said. Then she and all the other 'fairies' turned and left the house. Artemis escorted them to the door, and as soon as I heard the front door slam, a chorus of laughter sounded through the house.
Unfortunatley Artemis returned, "clean up this mess, then Butler will show you your room." As he walked up the hallway I think I heard him mutter, "I should make her sleep out side."