Starstruck Bad Luck
By J. Smith
Based upon an incident that occurred at the R.H.D.R in July 1937One mild spring morning, the mainline engines were waiting patiently in the yard for their firelighters to arrive, when quite unexpectedly, a long and important looking train glided smoothly past. It rolled slowly into the big station, where the Fat Controller stood waiting on the platform with a broad smile.
"Goodness me!", spluttered Gordon, who was taken by surprise, "What a commotion!"
"Why are you so shocked?", asked James cheekily, "Is it because you aren't in front of that train?"
"Absurd!", Gordon snapped back, "Those carriages look foreign to me. I don't recall ever seeing them in our yard"
"A special maybe?", suggested Henry, "Did anyone mention a special?"
"Not that I know of", muttered Duck, "I wonder what's up".
The four of them watched eagerly as the doors to the carriages opened, and floods of passengers streamed out onto the platform in excited chatter. The noise echoed around the station, taking the staff by surprise. The group of men and women, looking very commendable, stepped forward, dropped their suitcases and crowded around the Fat Controller. He was hidden from sight.
"It must be a special!", chimed Henry, "But the question is, who are they?"
"Maybe they're railway enthusiasts", suggested Duck, "Like those who came with the City of Truo" – he smiled modestly at his buffers – "But I don't remember there being so many!".
Some platelayers working nearby overheard them talking – "Oh? Have you not heard?", they asked. They engines looked gravely down at them suspiciously.
"Surprising", chuckled one of the men, "Considering how fast gossip flies among engines nowadays. Those people are friends and family of the Fat Controller's".
"Oooo", tooted James, "I didn't know he had so many!"
"But why are they here?", asked Duck eagerly as the packed platform continued to buzz with activity. The platelayers turned to each other and laughed.
"What a silly lot you are", said another man, "It's the Fat Controller's birthday soon".
The engines gasped in unison. The silence was broken by Henry – "Then no wonder he was smiling", he chuckled, "In that case, we should most definitely arrange..."
But one of the platelayers quickly put a hand up to silence him – "Yes, we've already considered it" – he whispered - "But don't tell him! It's a secret! We'll be doing it in a few days time". And they each exchanged a wink...like this!
Later that evening, James rolled into the last station with his last passenger train of the day to find the Fat Controller on the platform. Standing with him was one of the worthy-looking gentlemen who had arrived on the special that morning. He simmered warmly – "I must look my best before important visitors!", he thought to himself, and let off steam proudly.
"Ah", said the Fat Controller, "James has arrived with the afternoon return to Knapford. He is one of our finest favourites here on the main line".
The gentlemen was very impressed – "Indeed", he said, examining James all over, "Such a beautiful coat of paint. And what shining brass fittings. Why, you came in so smoothly that I didn't even notice you had arrived" – James grinned smugly – "You certainly have a very characteristic engine here", the kind man turned back to the Fat Controller, "You must let me onto the footplate sometime".
"Certainly", smiled the Fat Controller, "If the crew agree".
Sure enough, the next morning James was feeling very pleased with himself. He spoke endlessly about what the kind gentleman had said, with a smile as broad as his smoke box - "The most characteristic engine on the line", he beamed with ever-growing, "What do you think of that? I always knew I had the advantage over the rest of you, what with being the only engine on the line to be painted red" – The others paid no attention. They knew all too well that James could be overly conceited at times. But Gordon soon lost patience.
"Just listen to yourself", snapped Gordon, "You sound like a 'star struck' celebrity"
James made a vulgar noise through his whistle value – "Whatever that means", he retorted cheekily, "You're just jealous as usual" – And he flounced away to Edward's station. Gordon began to spit jets of steam from his pistons.
"Was it just me?", asked Henry, "Or does something sound wrong with James?"
"Not that I could see of", huffed Gordon, "He sounded as conceited as usual".
Meanwhile, James had just rolled into the yard at Edward's station to be begin shunting when a familiar looking man approached him with two young boys – "Hello again", smiled the kind gentleman, "My nephews and I were train-spotting and I couldn't help but notice your arrival. May we join you on the footplate for a while?"
"Of course", agreed James' crew. In an instant, James flushed red at the cheeks and begin to simmer happily with pride. He was in such a good mood that he didn't care about the trucks. He was pleased for an opportunity to show off.
The kind gentleman drove him skilfully across the yard – "Such a handsome engine, and a good steamer too it seems" – James was now beaming broader then ever. His crew could tell and exchanged anxious looks, but then they noticed the kind gentleman had a fretful look on his face.
"Is something the matter sir?", asked the fireman.
"Indeed there is", he said, "Can you not hear it?"
The men listened carefully – "If I'm not mistaken, James seems to have an irregular beat. Something must be wrong. We had better call for an inspector at once". The crew were concerned, and drove James over to a loading dock on a siding out of the way. But James was so busy keeping himself together that he didn't notice the irregular beat.
"Now boys", said the gentlemen, as he and the crew stepped down onto the ballast, "Wait here by the engine. We'll be back in a moment" – The boys nodded, but we all know what they were thinking, don't we!
No sooner had the men reached the platform on the other side, they were distracted by the sound of horrific wailing, accompanied by the shrill sound of a whistle. They turned to see James rolling slowly out of the siding and back towards the yard, whistling in alarm, his face full of fright.
The two boys sat on the loading dock looking very teary. They had disobeyed their uncle and meddled with James' controls, setting him in motion, jumping clear just in time. He gave them a stern look – "I shall deal with you later", he began, "But in the meantime, we must hurry and warn the signal man!"
But it was too late, James had cleared the points and was already steaming along the main line. He wasn't going very fast, but from the way he was whistling shrilling in fright, you would have thought he had seen a ghost! He screamed through the station just as Edward was pulling in on the other line – "Peep! Peep! Help! Help!", he whistled, and shut his eyes as several platelayers jumped clear of his path. The signalman just beyond the station heard his wails and leapt for the lever to divert James onto a siding, but he stumbled on a stood and feel flat on his face, just as James snorted past.
Not far up ahead, James saw the hill - "Good!", he panted, "That'll stop me". He charged at it and began to climb. His wheels ground the rails – "Ha!", he chortled, "I am clever! It's so easy when....oooerr!!!" A sharp sudden crap took him off guard. He whimpered in distress, getting slower and slower until at last, with an echoing metallic groan, he ground to a standstill. He was dazed, surprised and letting off steam in large alarmed clouds.
He found himself stranded for a good twenty minutes, howling mournful before Bill and Ben arrived with his crew and the kind gentleman – "Whatever have you gotten yourself into this time?", laughed the driver, "This is the second time you've run away without us. But it's a miracle how you managed to stop yourself in time".
James was feeling far too embarrassed to speak. The twins buffered up in front to push him back to the station. But no matter how hard they tried, they couldn't get him to move. James tried too, but it was hopeless. He felt as if his wheels were frozen to the rails. He looked and felt miserable.
By the time Edward arrived with an inspector, James was beginning to feel his position deeply. He squirmed in silence as the inspector looked him over - "There's no wonder you had an irregular beat James", he said at long last, "Your value gear has disintegrated. It's locked itself solid. Thankfully it stopped you in time before, otherwise there could have been a worser accident" – James looked away in secret relief – "But", the inspector went on, "We cannot get you moving again until we disconnect the value. Thankfully, Edward saw everything from the yard. All trains have been halted, so we had better work fast".
James groaned with discomfort. He wished that the rails would collapse beneath him and that the ballast would swallow him whole, thinking about what Gordon and the others might say when they found out! Workmen had to be called up to the hill to help disconnect the value, and it was a very long job. By the time the value was unlocked, it was getting dangerously late. James tried to move, but his wheels were so stiff that his coupling rods threatened to drop off. Bill and Ben pulled him back to the works, laughing all the way.
"It looks like the spotlight has gone out on this star struck celebrity", they sang cheekily.
James closed his eyes and pretended not to hear. When he returned from the works a few days later, he was glad that nobody had learnt about his accident. They, on the other hand, couldn't quite understand why there had been such a big hold-up on the main line. But the twins couldn't stay silent for long. And even now, James is sure that he will never hear the last of it!