Jack Goes to the Moon: Chapter 2
"Jack, Jack, wake up," Will shook Jack.
"Hmmm rrr ga rrrr, "Jack mumbled.
"Waky waky sweetie somethen big's happened."
"Naaarhu rrrhumph no more flamingos rrrr Scarlet hmmm don't leave me all by me onesys aahhhh," Jack kept dreaming. Will slapped Jack on the cheek. "Haha yeah Scarly ya know I like it like that," Jack continued.
"No, Jack, ya dingbat it's me, Will." Will insisted. Jacks eyes fluttered open and he grumbled. He saw Will and screamed. Will screamed back in surprise.
"Oh, it's you love, I thought ya were a flamingo at first," explained Jack. Will scowled. "Only because of your delicate, rosy, complexion of course," he quickly added. Will smiled. "So what the devil happened?" jack asked.
"We've landed on the moon," Will said all too calmly.
"Say what, sorry, I've got mayo in me ears," Jack was cleaning out his ears with the bone he had tied in his hair.
So that's what that things for, Will thought. "Oh, I said we've landed on the moon."
"Well that's nice...whaaa?" Jack yelled as he realized what Will had said. He jumped up and looked around the room. Everything in the room had been tossed around. Pots and pans were askew, glass was shattered, pictures had fallen, the bed was crooked and its sheets were half on the floor, almost all of Will's miniatures had fallen to the floor, the curtain rod was held by only one screw, and one of Jack's dresser drawers was open reveling a couple of his sparkly g-strings. Jack quickly ran over and slammed the drawer shut.
"The moon Jack, moooooon!!!!" Will said with frustration. First he's a flamingo and now a cow, Jack thought. He looked over at some unshattered rum and shook his finger at the bottle as if scolding it.
"Tisk, tisk, tisk," he said to himself. "Well I suppose as long as we are here we might as well take a walk and look around, maybe say hello to the locals. How's my eyeliner?"
"Jack, it's the moon. We won't be able to breath. Oh and it is smudged a bit right there," Will reminded.
"Ah, my poor friend, you are so naive. Any one with even just an acute case of paranoia would know that that's just a government conspiracy, savvy?" Said Jack while he applied a new coat of eyeliner as he looked at himself in a mirror shard.
"Are you sure?" Will asked.
"Have I ever given you a reason not to trust me...besides all those other times?" Jack said.
"What about that other time?" Will asked.
"That one too," said Jack.
"Well then no I suppose," realized Will.
"Right. So do you suppose I should dress up for this occasion or shall it be bear breasts and ankles all the way?" Jack asked.
"Why don't we just wear what we have on now, I don't suppose we'll really meet anyone any ways," answered Will.
"Hmm, their loss then. So we're off," said Jack.
"To see the wizard the wonderful wizard...of the moon," Will finished off. Jack and Will cautiously walked toward the door. Will reached for the handle and turned it slowly then let go quickly as if burned him. "What is this, hmmm?" Will asked pointing to the top corner of the door at a small sticker, the kind that goes on apples. "How hard is it for ya to take the one second to throw that in the trash instead of just leaving them everywhere you can think of that would so horribly annoy me. I mean, ya don't put stickers on doors it will ruin its finishing. It's like a tattoo. You know how I feel about defacing your body!"
"Well soooorrry," wined Jack. "Maybe I should just rap a piece of cloth around it." Jack glared at Will and then looked down at Wills wrist.
"It's a cut," Will pleaded.
"Yeah, well it sure is taking a hell of a long time to heal." Jack grabbed the handle and tore open the door. The two of them stood in aw. Before them was an incredible sight of a lumpy gray dust under an ink black sky littered with shimmering white dots. "Gah, this looks like that damn monkeys butt," Jack said.
"Hey, I think I can see my blacksmiths shop from here," said Will as he peered at the far away earth hanging in the black void. Jack squinted at the orb.
"Let me guess, it's the elf inside you, right," Jack elbowed Will in the rib.
"Well, I suppose we should split up and take a look around this giant dust bunny. You look that way and I'll go over there," Will pointed. Jack began to walk around taking note on the craters.
"Aaaahhhhhhhh," came a scream to his left. Will ran to Jack and found him standing there with a handful of moon dust and a disgusted look on his face. "This is awful cheese," he managed to get out. Will rolled his eyes and began to walk away, Jack followed. "What's up with all the craters?" Jack asked.
"I don't know. Who makes all these?" Will asked. Just then a little orange and brown tie-dye...thing popped out of one of the craters.
"I do," it cried. Jack and Will both looked at each other.
"Eunuch," they declared in unison.
"Jack, Jack, wake up," Will shook Jack.
"Hmmm rrr ga rrrr, "Jack mumbled.
"Waky waky sweetie somethen big's happened."
"Naaarhu rrrhumph no more flamingos rrrr Scarlet hmmm don't leave me all by me onesys aahhhh," Jack kept dreaming. Will slapped Jack on the cheek. "Haha yeah Scarly ya know I like it like that," Jack continued.
"No, Jack, ya dingbat it's me, Will." Will insisted. Jacks eyes fluttered open and he grumbled. He saw Will and screamed. Will screamed back in surprise.
"Oh, it's you love, I thought ya were a flamingo at first," explained Jack. Will scowled. "Only because of your delicate, rosy, complexion of course," he quickly added. Will smiled. "So what the devil happened?" jack asked.
"We've landed on the moon," Will said all too calmly.
"Say what, sorry, I've got mayo in me ears," Jack was cleaning out his ears with the bone he had tied in his hair.
So that's what that things for, Will thought. "Oh, I said we've landed on the moon."
"Well that's nice...whaaa?" Jack yelled as he realized what Will had said. He jumped up and looked around the room. Everything in the room had been tossed around. Pots and pans were askew, glass was shattered, pictures had fallen, the bed was crooked and its sheets were half on the floor, almost all of Will's miniatures had fallen to the floor, the curtain rod was held by only one screw, and one of Jack's dresser drawers was open reveling a couple of his sparkly g-strings. Jack quickly ran over and slammed the drawer shut.
"The moon Jack, moooooon!!!!" Will said with frustration. First he's a flamingo and now a cow, Jack thought. He looked over at some unshattered rum and shook his finger at the bottle as if scolding it.
"Tisk, tisk, tisk," he said to himself. "Well I suppose as long as we are here we might as well take a walk and look around, maybe say hello to the locals. How's my eyeliner?"
"Jack, it's the moon. We won't be able to breath. Oh and it is smudged a bit right there," Will reminded.
"Ah, my poor friend, you are so naive. Any one with even just an acute case of paranoia would know that that's just a government conspiracy, savvy?" Said Jack while he applied a new coat of eyeliner as he looked at himself in a mirror shard.
"Are you sure?" Will asked.
"Have I ever given you a reason not to trust me...besides all those other times?" Jack said.
"What about that other time?" Will asked.
"That one too," said Jack.
"Well then no I suppose," realized Will.
"Right. So do you suppose I should dress up for this occasion or shall it be bear breasts and ankles all the way?" Jack asked.
"Why don't we just wear what we have on now, I don't suppose we'll really meet anyone any ways," answered Will.
"Hmm, their loss then. So we're off," said Jack.
"To see the wizard the wonderful wizard...of the moon," Will finished off. Jack and Will cautiously walked toward the door. Will reached for the handle and turned it slowly then let go quickly as if burned him. "What is this, hmmm?" Will asked pointing to the top corner of the door at a small sticker, the kind that goes on apples. "How hard is it for ya to take the one second to throw that in the trash instead of just leaving them everywhere you can think of that would so horribly annoy me. I mean, ya don't put stickers on doors it will ruin its finishing. It's like a tattoo. You know how I feel about defacing your body!"
"Well soooorrry," wined Jack. "Maybe I should just rap a piece of cloth around it." Jack glared at Will and then looked down at Wills wrist.
"It's a cut," Will pleaded.
"Yeah, well it sure is taking a hell of a long time to heal." Jack grabbed the handle and tore open the door. The two of them stood in aw. Before them was an incredible sight of a lumpy gray dust under an ink black sky littered with shimmering white dots. "Gah, this looks like that damn monkeys butt," Jack said.
"Hey, I think I can see my blacksmiths shop from here," said Will as he peered at the far away earth hanging in the black void. Jack squinted at the orb.
"Let me guess, it's the elf inside you, right," Jack elbowed Will in the rib.
"Well, I suppose we should split up and take a look around this giant dust bunny. You look that way and I'll go over there," Will pointed. Jack began to walk around taking note on the craters.
"Aaaahhhhhhhh," came a scream to his left. Will ran to Jack and found him standing there with a handful of moon dust and a disgusted look on his face. "This is awful cheese," he managed to get out. Will rolled his eyes and began to walk away, Jack followed. "What's up with all the craters?" Jack asked.
"I don't know. Who makes all these?" Will asked. Just then a little orange and brown tie-dye...thing popped out of one of the craters.
"I do," it cried. Jack and Will both looked at each other.
"Eunuch," they declared in unison.