Jack Goes to the Moon: Chapter 3
"No, actually my name is Niorpheus", said the orange and brown tie- die blob.
"Oh, yes, of course", mumbled Jack. "Um, I hope you don't mind me asking, but what exactly are you?"
"Well, actually you should know what I am. I'm just a little different then usual," said Niorpheus.
"Not follow'en ya", Will said.
"I'm a can of peaches really", he said.
"Um, I'm sorry, but were we are from-earth-canned peaches don't talk", Will said. Jack's eyebrows did a little dance in confusion.
"Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot they never actually told anyone about there experiments", Niorpheus explained in his slurping voice. "I'm a mutated can of peaches of course. You see, your little scientist humans had this idea that when they sent all those lousy rockets to the moon they would secretly stash a couple of cans of food in the control panels. I don't know exactly why they did this but it had some kind of connection with sending monkeys to the moon and seeing if they could live. Well as we all know the monkeys revolted against this idea, killing all the scientist who wanted to do this and that is why there haven't so many moon landings lately."
"I didn't know that that's what happened," whispered Jack.
"SILENCE!!! Let me finish my story", screamed Niorpheus. Jack and Will both froze in surprise. "Sorry, I haven't taken my pills lately. Anyways, right before the monkeys decapitated them all, devouring their guts with great passion and a handful of garlic, a rocket was sent with me and the rest of us hidden in the control panel and right before it landed something went wrong and batta-boom batta-bing we're now a couple of mutated cans of goop here on the moon", he stopped to make sure Jack wasn't actually mumbling something to himself about teenage mutant ninja turtles, but of course he was and so Niorpheus hit him upside the head with his stretchy arm. "Actually I think they ment for us to mutate, that way they could sell us to Dr. Evil so that he could conquer the earth, but then there was the great monkey incident of some time nobody can remember", he finished off.
"I never liked monkeys, always steal'n medallions and stuff, ya know." Jack mentioned as he got himself up from the ground.
"Well, this isn't about those bloody monkeys, it's about me and that lawnmower in the Colbert's backyard!" Niorpheus finished.
"Why the lawnmower?" asked Will.
"What lawnmower?"
"The one you just said was in the Colbert's backyard."
"Who are they?"
"I don't know."
"Then how do you know they have a lawnmower?"
"They don't have a lawnmower."
"But I said they did."
"No you didn't."
"But dolphins aren't angora fetish."
"You're all going insane," Jack said as he stuffed his shirt full of moon dust, creating a lovely bosom. "Any one have any pantaloons?" Will stared at Jack for a moment and shook his head, he sat down and started rocking back and forth, trying to rid himself of the nonsense. Jack puffed out his chest, admiring his handiwork, and then he walked over to Niorpheus. "So, ah, what do ya do around here?"
"Well, here on the moon, me and my brother, Farnuglebragen (he's a mutated can of spinach by the way), help run the Spam and Barbie factories," he said trying not to look at Jack's new bulges.
"Spam and Barbies!" Will goggled. "I always thought they had an alien quality." Niorpheus nodded, "This moon is also home to some of the best damn raves in this galaxy."
"Really," said Jack, suddenly interested. He let the dust fall out of his shirt.
"Indeed, come along and I'll show you," Niorpheus said as he started to lead them. Suddenly a blob of dark green mush splattered all over the ground before them and roared with the sound of a thousand giraffes being strangled by Alexander the Great in a tutu. Jack grabbed a hold of Will and Will squeaked. "Farnuglebragen, it's ok, these are our friends. They've crashed here and I'm taking them to the Hobbit Rave," said Niorpheus to the green blob.
"Oh, I'm sorry old chap," apologized Farnuglebragen. "I'm pleased you could join us you two. Actually I was just on my to the rave right now." Jack and Will sighed with relief and followed the to blobs. After a couple minutes they stopped in front of a large rock. "Here we are," announced Farnuglebragen.
"It's a rock," said Jack, confused. Farnuglebragen pulled a remote out of his gooey substance a pushed the large button that said, "power". The fabric of space folded before them and they were all engulfed by a whirling vortex of neon lights. Jack and Will could feel the steady pulse of an extremely loud base pound through their bodies. Angora fetish: Some of you might be a bit confused with this one.... well yar probably confused with the whole story, but this one I can explain...well try at least. This is actually a color, or at least it is now. It all started from an inside joke with my friend. We were in my pool playing colors, and obviously being very stupid. Right before this me and her had been watching Ed Wood (you must all go see that movie, NOW! If you need another reason why then here, the main character is Johnny Depp and it was directed by Tim Burton, there I think that shall suffice.) I was explaining the colors we could choose from and then decided that you could also choose angora fetish (Ed dresses in woman's clothing and has an angora fetish). It was kinda a joke at the time but as I was calling out colors I just so happen to call that out and my friend, very happy indeed, changed hers on the spot and swam on that one. (I think I got her by the way) Tah dah! Angora fetish is now a color; it's been a pleasure boring you.
"No, actually my name is Niorpheus", said the orange and brown tie- die blob.
"Oh, yes, of course", mumbled Jack. "Um, I hope you don't mind me asking, but what exactly are you?"
"Well, actually you should know what I am. I'm just a little different then usual," said Niorpheus.
"Not follow'en ya", Will said.
"I'm a can of peaches really", he said.
"Um, I'm sorry, but were we are from-earth-canned peaches don't talk", Will said. Jack's eyebrows did a little dance in confusion.
"Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot they never actually told anyone about there experiments", Niorpheus explained in his slurping voice. "I'm a mutated can of peaches of course. You see, your little scientist humans had this idea that when they sent all those lousy rockets to the moon they would secretly stash a couple of cans of food in the control panels. I don't know exactly why they did this but it had some kind of connection with sending monkeys to the moon and seeing if they could live. Well as we all know the monkeys revolted against this idea, killing all the scientist who wanted to do this and that is why there haven't so many moon landings lately."
"I didn't know that that's what happened," whispered Jack.
"SILENCE!!! Let me finish my story", screamed Niorpheus. Jack and Will both froze in surprise. "Sorry, I haven't taken my pills lately. Anyways, right before the monkeys decapitated them all, devouring their guts with great passion and a handful of garlic, a rocket was sent with me and the rest of us hidden in the control panel and right before it landed something went wrong and batta-boom batta-bing we're now a couple of mutated cans of goop here on the moon", he stopped to make sure Jack wasn't actually mumbling something to himself about teenage mutant ninja turtles, but of course he was and so Niorpheus hit him upside the head with his stretchy arm. "Actually I think they ment for us to mutate, that way they could sell us to Dr. Evil so that he could conquer the earth, but then there was the great monkey incident of some time nobody can remember", he finished off.
"I never liked monkeys, always steal'n medallions and stuff, ya know." Jack mentioned as he got himself up from the ground.
"Well, this isn't about those bloody monkeys, it's about me and that lawnmower in the Colbert's backyard!" Niorpheus finished.
"Why the lawnmower?" asked Will.
"What lawnmower?"
"The one you just said was in the Colbert's backyard."
"Who are they?"
"I don't know."
"Then how do you know they have a lawnmower?"
"They don't have a lawnmower."
"But I said they did."
"No you didn't."
"But dolphins aren't angora fetish."
"You're all going insane," Jack said as he stuffed his shirt full of moon dust, creating a lovely bosom. "Any one have any pantaloons?" Will stared at Jack for a moment and shook his head, he sat down and started rocking back and forth, trying to rid himself of the nonsense. Jack puffed out his chest, admiring his handiwork, and then he walked over to Niorpheus. "So, ah, what do ya do around here?"
"Well, here on the moon, me and my brother, Farnuglebragen (he's a mutated can of spinach by the way), help run the Spam and Barbie factories," he said trying not to look at Jack's new bulges.
"Spam and Barbies!" Will goggled. "I always thought they had an alien quality." Niorpheus nodded, "This moon is also home to some of the best damn raves in this galaxy."
"Really," said Jack, suddenly interested. He let the dust fall out of his shirt.
"Indeed, come along and I'll show you," Niorpheus said as he started to lead them. Suddenly a blob of dark green mush splattered all over the ground before them and roared with the sound of a thousand giraffes being strangled by Alexander the Great in a tutu. Jack grabbed a hold of Will and Will squeaked. "Farnuglebragen, it's ok, these are our friends. They've crashed here and I'm taking them to the Hobbit Rave," said Niorpheus to the green blob.
"Oh, I'm sorry old chap," apologized Farnuglebragen. "I'm pleased you could join us you two. Actually I was just on my to the rave right now." Jack and Will sighed with relief and followed the to blobs. After a couple minutes they stopped in front of a large rock. "Here we are," announced Farnuglebragen.
"It's a rock," said Jack, confused. Farnuglebragen pulled a remote out of his gooey substance a pushed the large button that said, "power". The fabric of space folded before them and they were all engulfed by a whirling vortex of neon lights. Jack and Will could feel the steady pulse of an extremely loud base pound through their bodies. Angora fetish: Some of you might be a bit confused with this one.... well yar probably confused with the whole story, but this one I can explain...well try at least. This is actually a color, or at least it is now. It all started from an inside joke with my friend. We were in my pool playing colors, and obviously being very stupid. Right before this me and her had been watching Ed Wood (you must all go see that movie, NOW! If you need another reason why then here, the main character is Johnny Depp and it was directed by Tim Burton, there I think that shall suffice.) I was explaining the colors we could choose from and then decided that you could also choose angora fetish (Ed dresses in woman's clothing and has an angora fetish). It was kinda a joke at the time but as I was calling out colors I just so happen to call that out and my friend, very happy indeed, changed hers on the spot and swam on that one. (I think I got her by the way) Tah dah! Angora fetish is now a color; it's been a pleasure boring you.