Jack Goes to the Moon: Chapter 5
Jack and Will sat on the floor looking down at the horrible mess. The beautiful, fragile body was now a mutilated corpse. Will had his arm around Jack. Jack had his head on Wills shoulder. They both sniffled as they mourned over the disaster before them. Jacks tears made a dark spot on Wills shoulder and Will held his trembling hand. How could something this terrible happen to such a glorious thing that only wanted to give to others happiness? This was such a cruel universe.
"Oh for crying out loud", someone said beside them, "It's only a bong!"
Jacks grip tightened on Wills hand and Will, still staring at the shattered pieces of glass, shouted back, "It wasn't just a bong man. It was a beautiful creature. It fulfilled our needs and never asked for anything back." He paused to wipe his eyes. "We didn't mean to drop it. It was an accident. My hand slipped. We didn't mean to drop it..." Will trailed off into silence. Jack took his head off of Wills shoulder and looked back at the man. His eyes bulged. The man who stood behind them was Norrington.
"Alright then, so it was a pretty good thing, but hello there's more to do then take bong hits." Norrington revealed a bag and he dumped the contents out onto the ground and sat down. "So men, what's your pleasure?" Jack and Will immediately forgot about the shatters behind them at reached for some shrooms. They sat there indulging on buffet of drugs for a while. Norrington eventually passed out but the two didn't really notice, they were to busy arguing.
"It's a coin duh," said Jack.
"No it's a medallion, she wears it as a necklace," Will said back.
"But it still is a coin. That's what it was originally. People just happened to put it on a string or chain or whatever it was through it."
"Yes so therefore it is a medallion."
"But..." Jack stopped as he suddenly realized a fish was swimming in and out of his nostrils.
"It is neither," said the fish "the matrix has you."
"Oooohhhhh," they both said in unison. The fish disappeared and Jack wiggled his nose. "Ah...ah...ahCHEW!" Jack sneezed, but for some reason it seemed to go in slow motion. Will saw snot fly out of Jacks nose. It was rainbow colored. Will was mesmerized. Droplets of the mucus fell on Jacks arm. Will attacked him and tried to snort all he could off of Jacks arm. Jack was thoroughly disgusted and slapped Will. Will fell back and screamed something about is head swelling. Jack starred at him as Will started spazzing out. Will looked at himself in the mirror they were using for coke.
"Sweet tap-dancing zombie badgers! My head is a watermelon!" Will screamed. He ran around in circles and waved his arms. Somehow what he was doing was going along with the blasting techno. Jack had almost forgotten that they were actually at a nightclub. They had been sitting in this corner and had been so wrapped up in there merrymaking for so long that he hadn't noticed the tons of people busting out moves on the dance floor and HOLY JESUS, they had a bar!!! Jack looked over at Norrington who was still passed out slumped on a beanbag chair with his hand down his pants. Jack decided to leave him and ran to the bar.
Mean while Will was still spazzing about his watermelonyness. He almost looked as if he was break dancing. The people noticed this. They thought he was just dancing since they obviously couldn't see the watermelon. A few tried to follow along.
After fighting over who got the vibrating bar stool (which Jack lost by the way but dose not wish further discussion over), Jack sat down and ordered a bottle of rum. A woman sitting next to him felt like starting a little conversation. "Nice club," she said flipping her hair back.
"Nice tits," he said looking down at her chest. The woman was outraged and slapped him then stormed off. He had forgotten to note that he was thoroughly wasted and hadn't taken in to consideration that he might be seeing double. The bar tender walked over to him.
"You haven't been around many uniboob activists have you?" He said leaning on the transparent countertop. Jack looked a little puzzled. The man pointed to the group of girls behind Jack all with one breast and a large pin that said in bold letters "SBPA". " There's a Single Breast Pride convention tonight. I suggest you don't go near anymore of those chicks because if you slip with the plural form of any word they feel like your mocking them like speed bumps on a handicap ramp and you'll be sure you'll wind up on there hit list. Happened to my cousin once," he said shaking his head in sorrow. "The poor bugger never stood a chance against those jackalopes..."
"I'll keep that in mind captain," Jack said saluting the bartender.