Wars, Truth, and Revelations

Since my first breath I've always tried to live my life on the side of good. I always believed that no matter how hard things became, no matter how much the light seemed to be crushed by the darkness; there would always be hope there to save us all. My whole being was based upon the ideas of love, friendship, unity. I would always be there for those I care about and in turn they would always be there for me. For awhile my view point of the world seemed to fit together like a perfectly made puzzle. Sure, we had our hard times, but so did everyone else. Together we would pull ourselves through – no matter what happened.

Then like a storm raging upon a small town, everything changed.

I learned life wasn't always so happy.

I could do nothing for them. I was a failure. They did their best to protect me, to save me, they put their lives on the line for me; and I let them down. I watched them torn from my grasp knowing there was nothing I could do. Well, maybe there was, maybe there was some small part I looked over that could have saved them all. Even if I did manage the courage to help them, to rescue what was left, would that change things? No, it was all far too late anyway. A miracle couldn't erase the pain, the suffering. A miracle wouldn't make me forget. I would still see their graves; I would still remember the laughter they brought me. I had failed.

But what if there was another way?

The idea had come to me briefly before, but I dismissed it. I thought we would be all right like times of old. I wouldn't need to take such drastic actions. I was wrong. I watched them fall one by one – their bodies landing limp upon the soft ground. A few seemed to smile at me and I couldn't understand why. Had they seen something I didn't? Perhaps they would just happy to know that I was alone now, that I would suffer as they did, that I would get what I deserved.

No, that couldn't be right.

My mind twisted with the horrors of all the destruction. If by the will of the fates I was granted the power to make it end at that moment, it wouldn't have been enough. The beauty of the world was gone, along with the people who strove to protect it and me. I was left alone, alone to face a force so great that my knees collapsed at even the thought of having to go into battle again. I know they didn't leave me on purpose. I was, after all, their reason for fighting – not their whole reason, but at least part of it. I believe seeing their torn form is what first caused me to drift from sanity. I was so lost in despair that I didn't even realize what I was doing until it had already begun.

And then it was too late.

I would protect her, I would save her, and thus I would save everyone. I went to the beginning to thrust the course of time into the path of destruction. Through the end I would prevent everything I saw -- Pain, suffering. Wars, they would be no more. I watched her for the longest time, yet I was close. I comforted her when there was no one else to. I lent my strength when it seemed that she would fall, but she never did, and some how I knew. Being there was both rejoices and depressing. I remembered the times before when I was happy and seeing her brought those back. Sometimes things would get very amusing. I enjoyed watching her friends – my friends try to figure out who I was. They had some crazy ideas, I'll admit to that and some of them weren't too off. They hadn't changed much even while they were fighting. I was the one making an evolution.

The moments of happiness were sort of like time bombs preventing me from forgetting my mission. A few minutes of bliss would trigger an explosion of images that filled my mind with pain and anger. Aside from using them to complete my goal I couldn't afford to get any closer. I had to isolate myself mostly so that it was just her and I. She was the one who would carry things out.

At the final battle she would bring down the scythe of death.

I suppose the main reason for me going back was not only because of the loss of it all. I was just tired – tired of fighting, tired of the wars. I thought if I could end it where it began I wouldn't have to go through the death, the pain, any of it – and neither would anyone else. Somehow I believed that I was doing them a favor, I guess, I was helping them. I didn't want them to suffer so I would stop everyone from suffering at all.

Good ideas aren't always the sanest ones.

The sanest ideas aren't always the best ones either.

I didn't realize I was wrong, but she did. A flood of revelations struck me as she spoke. She was so full of hope even after watching her friends die. She had the strength and courage I lacked. She still held onto everything, all the ideas I had once forgotten about. I was but a mere child before her and her wisdom baffled me with things I should have known – things I once did know. She refused to bring the death of universe. Yes, it may have stopped the wars, it may have ended the suffering, but it is those things that make us who we are. Life may twist and turn for the worse, but no matter what we still had a hope for the future. As long as we believe in it, hope would never leave our side.

She was what I should have been. Through her I saw a new future, a new hope. I would continue to fight; I would make the future better. Though gone, my friends would always be there beside me, like I've always known but chose to ignore. I wouldn't ignore them any longer. I won't hide, I won't run. I will bring myself to a stand and be what I always should have been.

She showed me the light.

She showed me the truth.

Most of all she made me realize – she was me.

I will no longer let evil frighten me into submission.

I will save my friends.

I will save my world.

I will fight forever.