Well after days of bumming and laziness and hopeless addiction to reading robert jordan's books I finally decided to update. Lol

Actually I was busy because school has once again started and now I'm starting to work on my thesis. So it probably would take a lot longer before I really could get on with the story. But who knows, I might go crazy and finish it in one sweep chapter...lol I want it to be a bit longer so I'm not ending this yet... well that is if I get more reviews (I hope)

Anyway I hope you'll like this chapter... though a bit short in length.

And once again I would like to thank those who reviewed. You guys really brighten my day or night... and for that I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

ngoc1231 – here's an update, hope you'll read more of my stories, and thanks for your review too.

ccs-sprinkler – well here's an update, and don't worry, syaoran will be thinking about it, thanks for the review

pure heart – I hope this would suffice, thanks for reviewing

Amasaki Reyoko – I'm glad you liked it, I also tried putting emotions into this chapter, hope you'll like it, thanks for the review

Sakura Potato – I'm glad you liked it so I promise I'll continue writing this story, and once again thank you for your lovely review

And here goes the lousy formalities...

Disclaimer: I don't own card captor sakura! Got it? So don't sue me. But Christmas is really getting near so why not give it to me as a present? Lol I'd be glad to accept it! :D

Current POV

"Dialogues"

Flashback

'thoughs'

Letter

(Author's notes)

Last Chapter:

I sighed in resolution as I opened my dairy.

I grabbed my pen and stared at it for a couple of seconds before finally starting to write.

March 26, 2004

Dear Diary,

Last night was the worst day of my life. I just heard Syaoran propose to Meilin but I never really got to hear her reply. I was a coward and all I did was run away and cried my eyes out.

That event though, I feel, made me stronger. I realized something as I woke up this morning. I really should not dwell on my past. From now on I'll be stronger. I won't be a coward and ran away from everything. If Syaoran doesn't like me, then I'll accept it with a smile on my face and face a new day with confidence. I remembered that Yukito-san said that someday I will find the person that will love me the most. And that probably wasn't Syaoran. I promise to myself that I'll definitely find that person no matter what. So from now on... I'll be a different person. Good bye Syaoran-baka, though I thank you for making me stronger. I'm already over you... and you know why? Because at this moment, I just grew up...

Always,

Sakura

Believe Me When I Say I Love You

Chapter 5: Do I?

Syaoran POV

Things have been running smoothly lately. And for some reason something keeps on bothering me though I have no idea what. Neither there is always this feeling crawling behind my back as if something had gone amiss, something that I should have known but haven't nor have any idea about it. So shrugging it off, I waved my head dismissing any stray worries of things that should not be given any thought. Weeks had gone pretty past for me. And without much trouble things have gone my way as I hoped it would be.

I was lying down my bed when I heard my phone beep signaling a message. I rolled flat on my stomach grabbing it as I sat near the edge of my bed now with a wrinkled light green sheet due to my constant rolling and flinging. Grabbing my phone hurriedly with anticipation as I clicked the button with the raised handset icon in it, it revealed a message from Meilin. I scanned her message; my eyes shining with delight and hope as to what she might want to say. Her message was short and simple and very direct - 'I was quite worried with you yesterday. You seem a bit dull and quiet. I hope you're okay' I read. Then my heart sang as I saw her last three words- 'Wo ai ni' it said. Then my heart fluttered with butterflies going wild inside my stomach. Yes, she said she loved me.

Pressing the 'reply' button I started pressing the keypads slowly typing out the words "I'm okay, don't worry" as I remembered the things that took place during those previous days. You'll never believe what happened. Even I was shocked when she said that when I proposed to her just a couple of days ago, probably a week after her birthday. I don't know what made me propose but before I knew it, she just said "Yes, I'd love to go out with you" and that's it. We're now an official couple and everybody in class knew about it. I can clearly remember how glad I was during those past days. Everything was perfect. We chatted more often than ever. And whenever our eyes met during class she would smile at me. She greets me every morning and waves at me during dismissal before their black Limo picks her up. And most especially during lunch where we would sit together after a meal and chat quietly around Maki's cafeteria. In those few days we seemed to have gone really close. And I feel more and more at ease with her and I can tell that she was too.

And then came Saturday when our History teacher – Higashiyama-sensei, a grouchy guy in his middle years, gave us a history research to be done in pairs.

I was lost in my thoughts as I stared in her back hoping that she would ask me to be her partner, and to my surprise she turned to look at me. Her mouth forming out words as if to ask me if we could be partners. I was in utter shock so all I deed was nod at her. And after she smiled and finally turned her head staring back to our sensei, I gave out a smile followed by a small chuckle as my mind finally start processing once again taking all of the events that just took place.

The next morning we decided to meet at the Penguin Park at exactly 10 in the morning. We went to the library together and found seats nearest to the bookshelves somewhere along the west flank of the library. We even saw Sakura and Tomoyo as well as Eriol and Yamazaki sitting together on a lone table somewhere near the corner of the librarian's desk also doing their research. We finished ahead of them and bid them good byes. And since it was still early and we haven't eaten lunch yet, we decided to grab a meal and perhaps do something together.

We walked towards the commercial districts with small talks accompanied by light chuckles not minding the busy street as well as the heat in the sun. For me this was probably the best day of my life, with her so close to me and smiling all the time as we go out on a stroll or should I say a "mini date". But what was even better was when she suddenly grabbed my arm and gave out a loud laugh when she saw the startled look on my face. I was too absorbed in admiring her, smiling once in a while to notice how close we had been, and when she grabbed my arm my control just slipped off me and my face went as red as a ripe tomato. Which I'm sure she noticed when she suddenly gave out an even louder chuckle.

And after a few more idle chats as we walk arm in arm along the crowded street of the

Commercial district, finally we found an Italian restaurant. We decided to step in and give it a try. We were quite surprised to found only a handful of people dining there though we assumed that the food was probably good and besides it was already way past lunch time. She ordered a plate of carbonara with white meat sauce accompanied by a glass of bottomless iced tea, while I on the other hand ordered a plate of baked lasagna and a glass of lemonade. We had a great time together. We chat mostly about school and family and found ourselves laughing and smiling in no time. And soon we realized that it was getting a bit late and that it was time to go home.

We walked home together, once again arms locked with one another. Though for some reason she seemed a bit silent until we passed near the Penguin Park. Sensing that this was probably a good timing, I asked her if we could sit for a bit. And she agreed so we sat over the swings. For a few moments we just stayed like that. With her leaning at me while I stood behind her lightly pushing the swing.

Mustering my courage, I broke the silence. In a dead serious tone I called her name. She turned her head and looked at me. I cleared my throat and looked at her eye to eye. Sensing my mood she stood up and faced me, one again her eyes leveled with mine. Releasing a sigh I looked into her eyes and said, "Meilin, I think I'm in-love with you, would you go out with me?" (I hope that's not cheesy) I was surprised at how calm I sounded though my heart was beating twice, no thrice as fast before that and my hands shook with nervousness. And butterflies seem to have gone wild, fluttering viciously inside my stomach.

She eyed me for a brief moment as if thinking what to say and surprise visible in her scarlet eyes. It seems to be shining more, though I wish it was because of delight from my confession. And then as if in a slow motion a smile spread across her divine face. Her thin pink lips curving upward and her eyes shimmering now with visible happiness. And in a low yet tender voice she said "Yes, I'd love to go out with you."

And that was it. The next day I found myself in front of the school gate waiting for her arrival. And when she arrived, once again in her divine and serene beauty, she smiled at me, and I smiled at her too as I offered her my hand and she took it with gracious acceptance. We walked inside the building hand in hand and earning a few looks and sidelong glances from people we know. And at the end of the day everybody heard the news and was congratulating us and telling us how we looked great together. I was beaming with confidence, with her seating beside me in the garden. Meilin, the girl of my dreams, yes a dream, until yesterday when everything changed with her simple sweet little "Yes".

And then somebody I haven't seen nor talked to for several days approached us. Why? I have no idea and it doesn't really bother me. I even thought it was pleasant once in a while to have peace and not having a "Sakura Kinomoto" joking and making fun of you. She stood in front of us. And then gently took our hands. Holding it together she congratulated us then smiled. Then quickly as she was there, she turned on her heels and left.

Actually I was surprised at her. Knowing Sakura, I was expecting her to go berserk with accusing fingers pointing at me or throwing words at me for not telling her about it, or maybe even making fun at me for taking too long to tell Meilin. But to my disbelief she just said a curt "Congratulations" and then smiled, that sweet smile of her, then quickly turned on her heels without even another word or waiting for our replies.

I know that I shouldn't really worry about Sakura. But for some unknown reason, I can't help thinking about her. Whenever I think about these events, I always end up wondering what's wrong with Sakura. Ever since Meilin's birthday party she just suddenly seemed aloof and distant from me. May be she has a huge problem, but I'm sure she knew that I was her friend and would gladly help her. And every morning whenever she would arrive, luckily a hair away from being late, whenever I expect to hear neither a sarcastic nor a lousy joke from her, she'll just smile and greet me a curt "Ohayou Syaoran-kun" then place down her bags on the floor and sit not even sparing as much as a small glance behind. Not to mention during math classes, normally whenever we have a seat work, she would come scurrying at me and begging me to help her, even pleading and promising not to make fun of me for an entire week, and with Sakura being Sakura, that never really happened. But now, she'll just stand and walk towards Eriol and ask for his help. And that annoying Eriol would always give me a "mocking" smile whenever he sees me staring at them. Also on Wednesdays, when we're assigned to do the cleaning together, she no longer sprays chalk powders on my hair. She just did her chores earnestly and gives me a nod or a smile whenever our eyes met.

Several times I tried asking her but all she said was "Huh? Nothing is wrong with me..." or "oh sure I'm fine, no problem" or just a simple "I'm ok". And beyond that she would tell no more. Though I am 100 percent sure she has a problem. But of course I can't press her further for answers. Perhaps her problem was too deep that it was beyond the boundaries of friendship or that it was just as simple as that she no longer thinks of me as her good friend, though I doubt that's the case or hopes that's not the case.

What bothered me even more was why I can't seem to shrug of her image. Her image when she walked away from me after she congratulated me and Meilin. I don't know if I just imagined it, but that time her demeanor seemed to be lonely, though she was smiling. And her emerald eyes that are usually filled with the joy of life, though she never said it, now portray a reflection of deep loneliness and perhaps bitter pain. And in addition, her smile, some might not notice, was now different. Before it was of pure gentleness, but now it always seemed to be accompanied by resignation and submission. But resignation and submission? For what? I have no idea.

Finally dismissing the thought, I decided to sleep. It was already late and it was probably about time I sleep. I need an early start tomorrow since I'm supposed to be on cleaning duty tomorrow with Sakura. Then I remembered my message for Meilin. Scanning the words I've typed already, "I love you too" I added, then pressed the 'send' button. I sighed and turned on my sides with words echoing through my mind. "Do I?" the voice said in a mocking tone. It kept on echoing again and again as I drifted into a deep slumber surprisingly seeing an image of bright and lovely emerald eyes instead of a pair of piercing scarlet eyes. Followed by low resonating words saying "Do you really love her?" flashing and resonating together with those emerald eyes.

TBC...

Ohayou – good morning

Sorry if that was a bit short... I promise I'll do better next time.

Hope you guys liked it... so please to me a favor and help me with your reviews.

All your comments and suggestions are welcome and even flames though I hope there'll be none... though if you really didn't like it I would be glad to accept your flames and tell me why or perhaps even help me improve my story...

Anyways, ja minna...

And once again... please review... mwah!