Once there was a little blonde dumbass, Joey, they called him. He was a simple dumbass he liked doughuts and whatnot, but he loved his little sister who lived in the woods. One day, he got a call from her. "Joey," She said. "I'm going blind. I fear I shall never see you again." Joey wouldn't stand for it. He wanted the last thing his beloved sister saw was his goofy smile, so he went off, skipping down the road with a basket of muffins that he prepared for her.
While he skipped through the woods, he softly sang to himself and the raccoons and the larks. Too bad he was tone deaf. The terrible singing awoke a rich guy in a wolf costume, who was sleeping under a tree in a drunken slumber. This drunken slumber turned into a drunken rage.
He chucked a beer bottle at Joey. "Shut the hell up, or I'll have ta---" He stood there for a minute, then pulled out his script. He turned to the director and asked: "Uh.... Is that word right there 'eat' or 'treat'?" "Uh, that's an 'eat'. Sorry 'bout that, Seto, my man." "No problem.-----EAT YOU!"
Joey screamed like a school girl. "NOooOOooOOOOOOoooO! Don't eat me Mister Wolf, sir! I'm just an innocent little dumbass trying to deliver these muffins to my blind sister. I'll shut up!" "Good. Now gimmie a muffin, an' I'll leave youse alone." "Okay, Mister Wolf." Joey handed Seto the rich wolf-boy a muffin and ran off in fear.
Seto the rich wolf-boy liked the muffin so much, he decided to see if Joey's sister shared Joey's baking skills. He went and asked Tristan, the woodcutter on weed where Joey's little sister lived.
"Easy. Over the river and through the woods." So that's where Seto went.
Seto arrived earlier than Joey, for our little blonde friend had stopped to pick some flowers on the way. Seto didn't want to startle Serenity, so he decided a blind chick couldn't tell the difference.
"Beloved sister, it is I, Joseph. Yer beloved big brother. Open up, dearest sister." "Joey, your voice has dropped. Are you okay?" She let him in. "Why that's just the magic of puberty. My balls have dropped, too." "That's good to hear. I'd thought you'd never grow up."
Seto the wolf-boy was a very lust-driven canine. He tackled Serenity and dragged her into the closet. A magical thing happened in the closet. So magical, it's too much for a PG mother goose story.
When Joey arrived, he walked in to see Seto the wolf-boy eating a cherry pie at the table. His beloved sister was gone.
"Mister Wolf! You ate my sister! I'll never forgive you!" "No I didn't. I fucked her is all. She's busy getting dressed. She'll be out in a minute." Joey didn't listen, he was much too busy calling for help.
Tristan the woodcutter on weed rushed to his aide. "What's wrong, little blonde dumbass?" "That wolf guy ate my little sister!"
Before Tristan could slay Seto the wolf-boy, he was greeted by Serenity, who strode out of the closet, buttoning her blouse.
"Oh, sexy wolf-boy, your sex was so incredible, I got my eyesight back!" This was too much for the little blonde dumbass. He died on the spot.
And so, thanks to the bad guy the day was saved. Serenity then became a pornstar and moved in with Tristan the woodcutter on weed, and Seto the wolf-boy quit his acting job so he could try a career in music. He then joined Aerosmith, and became a back-up guitarist.
THE END