A/N: Thank you everyone for all of your reviews! You inspire me to no end!

***

"AAAAAAAAAGGHH!!"

Philippe grabbed Raoul and held him back as Erik scrabbled at the managers' desk for support. Upsetting papers and ink-pens, the musical genius finally fell back to the floor and lay there twitching spasmodically.

"Oh well done!" Philippe shouted, still angry at Erik for giving Raoul the fake chocolates, "Bravo, monsieur, you've made my brother a delusional lunatic! I hope you can put him back!" He tightened his grip on Raoul, who was holding his arms outstretched towards Erik, crooning "Mr.Teddy, I love you…"

"How was I supposed to know?" Erik groaned, letting Christine help him to his feet. "I couldn't have known what the Persian put in those things! Besides, science states that for every action there must be an equal reversal reaction*. So one of those chocolates will make your precious brother…ah, normal, again." His piece said, the Phantom began gingerly feeling his lips, hoping Raoul hadn't left fop-cooties or something.

"Urgh…doesn't Raoul brush his teeth?"

Philippe ignored him, and began trying to talk to his brother. "Raoul? Can you understand me? There's isn't any Mr.Teddy here…Raoul?" But the Vicomte was too far off the deep end. Christine found herself torn between concern for her childhood friend and laughing at the state he was in now. Trying not to smile too widely for it was clear that the elder Chagny was distressed about his brother's condition, she suggested, "Perhaps Erik's right. One of those chocolates must be able to put Raoul back in his right mind again."

"If the man was ever in his right mind in the first place," Erik mumbled, and wilted slightly under Philippe's cold stare. The Comte, having fixed Erik with his icy gaze, said gravely, "You're going to take us to find this Persian fellow and have him tell us whatever chocolate has the antidote inside so my brother won't spend the rest of his days trying to court you (Erik flinched) and then we're going to throw the blasted things away. Understood?" Erik nodded resignedly.

"Right." Philippe tried to steer his brother out of the managers' office but Raoul strained himself towards Erik, whimpering, "Mr.Teddy has to come with us!"

"Mr.Teddy is coming with us," Philippe said soothingly and Erik glowered. The Comte smirked. "Lead the way, Mr.Teddy." Erik curled his lip and swept past the Chagnys, leading them all into the more unknown recesses of the Opera House, unknown to all except for the architect...and a select few. The Phantom made no sound, walking light-footed through these dark passages, silent as smoke. Up and down they went, up staircases and through corridors Philippe had never seen before. At last Erik stopped in front of a door, and pulled an ornate key out from the folds of his clothes. Turning the lock silently, he opened it, and beckoned them in.

They were standing in a large, dimly lit apartment. Philippe cast his eyes over the faded furnishings and was about to ask where they were when Erik shushed him and began to prowl, cat-like, around the large space. The Phantom felt slightly uneasy: he could sense another presence in this room. Years of living in the shadows had co-ordinated his senses, and he could definitely hear the sound of soft breathing coming from his left. And, then, a low laugh.

Erik spun towards the direction of the sound, Punjab lasso held expertly in his grip. More laughter.

"Do you really mean to harm me, Opera Ghost?"

A tall man detached himself from the shadows of the far wall. Philippe's eyes narrowed warily, but he had a feeling he knew this newcomer. A candle was lit, its glow illuminating the man's face and Philippe could see the stranger clearly.

His skin was polished ebony, so black and smooth it seemed the man had been sculpted from that rock, and set in the face were eyes of beautiful, pale jade. He wore an astrakhan cap and when he smiled, as he was doing now, his white teeth and luminous eyes were all that could be seen. Overall, this made him appear like the Cheshire cat.

Erik lowered the lasso. "Really, Daroga, must you lurk about in the shadows like that?"

The tall man's teeth glinted. "That's amusing coming from you." His voice was deep and pleasant.

The Phantom jabbed his finger at his friend. "You think you're so funny –"

"The Persian," Philippe murmured, remembering the night he first met the man, "You know Erik?"

"We have a history. But please, call me Nadir."

"As you wish, Nadir," Philippe said politely, " As you can see, my brother is in a bit of a state."

"Ate the orange cream, did he?" The Persian and Erik sniggered. Philippe forced himself to smile. "Yes, haha and so on. But I would appreciate it if he was back to normal if that's not too much to ask…"

"I'm afraid I can't do that," Nadir said simply.

"Why not?" A light came on in Philippe's head. "You have no idea which one can put him back, do you," the Comte said in a slow voice.

"Ah…no."

Philippe closed his eyes. His patience was now close to breaking point. His blue eyes, rather cold to begin with, froze over. Erik and Nadir stopped sniggering. "Perhaps," the Persian suggested hurridly, seeing the aristocrat's expression, "Some trial and error experiments are in order?"

"D'you mean feeding him the chocolates one by one and seeing which one stops the effect?"

"Yes, unless you've got a better idea."

"Shove the whole thing down the fop's throat," Erik suggested brightly, "they'll all cancel each other out and the worst the Vicomte will feel is an upset stomach." Christine glared at him.

"Just for that," Philippe said darkly, and released Raoul. They watched the Vicomte chase the Phantom around for a while before Erik, in desperation, promised that he wouldn't make any more smart remarks and that he was truly sorry and that it was actually he that broke the chandelier.

***

"Well, this should be interesting." Philippe eyed the chocolate he'd selected to force-feed Raoul. He tried to cajole his brother into eating it.

"No!" Raoul screeched, "Mr.Teddy! Mr.Teddy's the only one I trust! YOU'RE TRYING TO POISON ME! AAAAAAAAAH! MR.TEDDY HEEEEEEEELP!!"

"Shut up!" Erik shouted at Nadir, who had doubled over laughing at the sheer irony of the situation, "You're not helping!" He snarled angrily.

"Pardon me…Mr…Teddy…" Nadir's face was red but he stopped laughing.

Silence.

"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!"

The Persian managed to evade a kick from the furious Phantom. Even Christine was trying not to laugh. Seething, Erik snatched the chocolate from Philippe and stomped over to Raoul. "Eat it, you daft twit!"

Raoul's blue eyes filled with tears. His lower lip began to tremble. Erik paled. "No…please don't…I didn't mean it!"

"Mr-(sniff)-Teddy…doesn't…love me! Waaaah!"

Erik ground his teeth together. If it were possible for smoke to seep out from behind his mask, there would be. But if anyone was a master of deception, it was he. Putting on his most soothing voice, Erik said, "Come on now, Raoul…eat the chocolate like a good man, Mr…" He swallowed hard. "…Teddy loves you really. I want you to eat the chocolate. Please." Nadir was now crying.

Raoul smiled through his tears. "I knew you did, Mr.Teddy. I'll eat it now." He opened his mouth, waiting. Erik looked revolted.

"Do it," Philippe said, and Erik, shuddering, put the chocolate in Raoul's mouth with his gloved hand. Everyone waited. Raoul swallowed. Since Erik was still in front of him, the Phantom saw a blissful expression came over the Vicomte's face.

"Mama?" He held his arms. Erik looked ready to die on the spot. Philippe and Christine winced. And Nadir…started sobbing with laughter.

"Another one!" The Phantom snapped, and chose another chocolate at random. He stuffed it into Raoul's mouth, grimacing at the drool on his gloves. Then he hastily moved out of Raoul's line of vision. The younger Chagny ate this chocolate, making small fussing noises.

"Quack?"

"Next!"

This time it was Philippe who forced the chocolate down Raoul's throat. His brother tried to bite him several times but stopped as the sweet took effect. A strange look came over the Vicomte's face. He slowly looked around at them all. Christine saw his face and almost gasped. She recognized that expression: a mixture of love and pain, and the eyes that shone with terrible intelligence.

"What are you doing here?"

Even Raoul's voice had changed, it seemed deeper somehow, more mature, dark and seductive, mellifluous…

"Answer me!"

Then Raoul's eyes fell upon Erik and he gasped. "You!" he snarled, "Imposter! How dare you mock me…"

Erik's yellow eyes narrowed. "Me, an imposter? Monsieur le Vicomte, it was you who ruined all of my plans…who do think you are?"

Raoul drew himself up. "I am no Vicomte! I am the Phantom of the Opera!"

Philippe's jaw dropped.

***

*or some science law thingy. I really don't care.

A/N: Yes! It's short! STOP PRESSURIZING ME AAAAAAAHH!! I have coursework to do and more importantly, fics to finish on fp.com. And I'm a lazy-arse too so there. Yes I will update. Whatever you want…within reason. ^.^

Erik: You crazy authoress! How could you insult me like that!

Raikune: I thought it was funny. *sniggers*

Erik: Grrrr..

Raikune: People are actually reading this! It proves that everyone loves you *low whisper* and Philippe!

Erik: *sulkily* No one loves me. You're wrong.

Raikune: *points* What's that then?

**Ground begins to shake**

Erik: Eh?

**Masses of Phan-girls appear over the horizon**

Random Phan-girl: There he is, ladies!

Phan-girls: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!

Erik: 0.o

Raikune: Ha-ha! Stampede! *has crazy glint in her eye*

**Erik begins to run, pursued by Raikune and a horde of screaming girls**

Erik: Help! I'm being attacked by rabid Phan-girls!

Raikune: *snags his cape in a death-grip* Review, people! ^_^

**They disappear into the distance**