A/N: If no one's reading this anymore I'm not totally surprised: it's all my fault for not updating for 3 months 0.0; But there were some who wanted me to try and continue it and I have done just that. Thanks to those who have been patient and those who weren't ^.^

***

"You are not the Phantom of the Opera!" Erik shouted. "I am!"

"I beg to differ, Monsieur!" Raoul stared down his nose at Erik. The Vicomte touched his face suddenly…and realized that something was missing. "My mask!" he screeched, dropping to his knees, hands over his face, "Curse you, you've taken my mask!"

"I," Erik hissed, "have never been so mocked in my entire life!" He spun around as someone sniggered. Nadir blinked innocently but the Phantom wasn't fooled.

"You!" he roared, pointing his finger at the Persian, "This is all your fault! You and your trick chocolates! I spared your life! And this is how you repay me?"

Before the Persian could open his mouth to make excuses, Erik seized the box of chocolates and began to chase him around the apartment.

"I'm going to make you eat every single one of these! I'll stuff them down your throat myself! See how you like it!"

"But think about the benefits!" Nadir shouted, putting his hand up at the level of his eyes, "Raoul's not a fop anymore! He's you! He's charming and articulate -"

"Benefits? My persona in his body is a bloody abomination, you imbecile! I won't have me in him! That is perverse beyond all reason and it's because of you!"

"May I say something?" Raoul began testily but the Phantom cut him off. "NO, you may not! You'll keep quiet and not say a single word until I've sorted this out!"

Christine was thoughtful. She did love Raoul…he was kind and tender, if a bit innocent and foppish…but she loved Erik as well, accomplished as he was. She loved his voice, his music, his devotion to her. And she pitied the man, for what the world had done to him, it had embittered him, true enough, but she knew deep down his heart was still good.

And now it was Erik in Raoul's body…she grinned.

"I rather like him this way," she offered innocently. Erik stopped chasing Nadir and ran over to her. "You can't mean that!"

"Well…"

"It's disgusting! I mean…well, look!" He gestured violently over to Raoul, who surveying his cufflinks with some distaste.

"But it is an improvement…on what he was like before, isn't it?"

"Yeees…in a sickening, twisted sort of way..."

"Are you going to give me back my mask back or not?" came Raoul's testy voice. The Vicomte folded his arms across his chest.

Erik gave him a black look. He stomped over to Raoul and grabbed him by the lapels. "Listen to me, you delusional drugged-up fop! There is only ONE Erik! Only ONE Phantom of the Opera! And that is me! See this?" He touched his mask. "And this?"

He trailed a finger over the deformed skin around the edge of his cheek. "This pain is mine, and mine alone! Look into a mirror, boy, and you will find you have no need for a mask!" He glared into Raoul's blue eyes.

As for Philippe, he knew what he wanted: his brother back. Yes, Raoul could be annoying and whiny and stupid and generally he made Philippe feel like he wanted to hug and strangle him at the same time…but he was family and the Comte loved him. Teddy-bear cufflinks and all.

Raoul's haughty voice snapped the Count from his thoughts.

"I don't know what kind of game you're playing, Monsieur, but it isn't funny! If you won't give me back my mask I'll just go back to my lair and stay there! Hmmph!"

"You won't!" Erik shouted, "That's MY house, not yours! Stay away!"

"I'm the Phantom of the Opera, this is my Opera House and I'll do what I please!" Raoul announced grandly. Erik stared at him, fists clenching, yellow eyes aflame. Raoul completely missed the danger signs, and continued: "And if you'll excuse me, there's a new chandelier that needs my attention. Goodbye!" He darted away, so fast that no one had time to blink.

Silence for two seconds. Then:

"COME BACK HERE YOU MISERABLE PUPPY OF A FOP!!"

Erik's outraged bellow rang through the room. He hurled himself in the direction Raoul had taken off to. Philippe, fearing for his brother's life, hurled himself in pursuit, snatching the box of chocolates Erik had dropped in his anger. Nadir and Christine, deciding not to miss any of the fun, ran after them.

***

Raoul crept along the beams of the Opera House, gazing downwards. He licked his lips. What a magnificent chandelier! It glittered and shone, sparkling like a thousand diamonds, candles crowning its large circumference. Majestic and extravagant, the chandelier hung over the rows of seats, a queen residing over her Opera House. It was so pretty…he giggled. It simply begged to be dropped. A strange, mad desire to release it and send it plunging to the ground made his hands quiver. Face flushed with excitement, the Vicomte began to creep forward, little by little…almost to where this beauty hung…

"Stop right there."

Erik's icy voice made Raoul turn his head. The Phantom crouched among the footlights with lithe, familiar ease. The many candles shadowed his face and mask, and his expression was so terrifying that Raoul actually tensed. Erik uttered a low growl. "If you touch that chandelier, Monsieur le Vicomte, not even the trap-door shutters will find your remains!"

"Is that a threat, Messieur?" Raoul tried to keep his voice from shaking.

"Of course it's a threat, you upper-class twit!" Erik shouted. "Are you really so stupid?!"

Philippe, having just rushed onstage below, craned his head upwards and yelled, "Raoul, get down here at once! It's not safe up there, you might fall and break your neck!" He ran an agitated hand through his hair. "Oh, Raoul, will you stop being such a damn bloody fool and listen to me for once!!"

"Raoul?" Christine called, joining the Count onstage, "Raoul, dear, come down from there and leave the chandelier alone!"

"I don't know who this Raoul is that you're all babbling on about!" Raoul called back, "but get off my stage –you'll dirty it or something."

Philippe swore colourfully in French. "I'm your brother, for God sakes!"

"My what? I can't hear you!"

And before Erik could stop him, the Vicomte had made a clumsy leap onto the chandelier.

Philippe almost had a heart attack. Christine screamed. Erik screamed too, but for a different reason. Nadir, having just recently arrived, was thinking of an alibi he could have in case the managers showed up, which was the last thing that they needed, really. The chandelier swayed slightly as Raoul clung to the chain, dislodging a couple of candles as he tried to find some footing. They fell to the stage and seats below like rockets.

The Comte grabbed Christine out of the way of a falling candle but payed for his heroic action when it clonked him on the side of the head instead. He staggered, hearing Erik screech, "Stop it! Stop it! You're ruining my chandelier!"

"Mine!" Raoul shouted back. He examined the hook on the ceiling and frowned. Clearly, he had not thought this out.

"I say, Philippe, or whoever you are," he piped, "have you got some sort of…er...tool I could borrow?"

Philippe, leaning on Nadir, was temporarily too dazed to reply. Chandeliers have large, heavy candles.

"Stupid, mewling little milksop!" Erik hissed in rage. "If you won't get off my chandelier I will make you!" And he leapt.

Raoul shrieked as the massive, glittering mass creaked and groaned, tilting and swaying. Large as it was, it wouldn't be able to hold the weight of two men for long. Erik balanced skillfully, all the time his yellow eyes searing holes into the Vicomte.

"OFF!" he roared. "Or I shall push you off!"

"Shan't!" Raoul squeaked, gripping the chain, "I don't know how to get off, and anyway, I want to drop it!"

"Erik?" Nadir called nervously, "Erik? I think there's someone coming…"

"To hell with them!" Erik managed to grab Raoul by the collar, and he dragged the quaking fop towards his face, snarling. Raoul blinked…his expression changed…and once he focused on Erik he shrieked. The odd chocolate's effects had worn off by itself. And at that moment, there was a creak and the chandelier dropped two feet. Raoul almost wet himself and clung to nearest available solid purchase: namely, Erik.

Here it was that Rémy, the private secretary, entered the scene. He'd had another argument with Gabriel the chorus-master and so was in a sullen mood. Walking along the stalls he glanced up sharply at Christine's scream of fright. The secretary's mouth dropped open.

He saw what looked like the Vicomte de Chagny clutching a caped masked man, both clinging to the perilously swinging chandelier, which was missing a few candles, and, in Rémy's opinion, looked quite ready to drop at any moment. He stiffened.

"No no no!" he shouted irritably, flapping his arms as he strode over to the stage. "I don't care what position you are within the Opera's patronage, no one is allowed to climb on the chandelier! The blasted thing's damn new as well!"

"Help!" Raoul wailed. "I can't get down!"

"Well, how did you get on, M. le Vicomte?"

"I jumped!"

"Ah." Rémy looked lost for words. "…Why??"

"Because," Nadir put in helpfully, "he'd eaten a chocolate which contained a potent mixture of chemicals that overrode his brain and so made him believe that he was the Opera Ghost."

"Thank you," the secretary said dryly. He peered at Philippe. "Monsieur le Comte? I would advise you to remove your brother from the chandelier as soon as possible…and then perhaps go to bed, sir, you don't look at all well…"

"Go get the managers!" Philippe groaned, wincing as he felt his head. "Have them call the fire brigade or something…"

"As long as they're not fooling around with our horses again," Rémy snickered. He made a quick exit from the stage.

~~

I am sorry again for the somewhat shortness of this chapter and for not updating in ages. I had chronic writer's block regarding this fic, then I thought of how funny it would be to have both Erik and Raoul on the chandelier…and there you have it. A special thanks to those phans who did read this and kept begging me to update, and for those who actually contacted me online to tell me how much they loved my other stuff. We had very interesting conversations regarding a certain wet Phantom ^_^ Thank you everyone and please R&R!

Note: I will complete this fic as it is my first phanfic and therefore, um, kinda special to me. So from now on I will update regularly \m/(^_^)\m/ Yay! *does happy dance*