She arrived back at the beach before she knew it. Really, she hadn't been walking, but stumbling, her eyes blurred with tears. Up ahead was the bonfire blazing away. Behind it were Kate and Sawyer, talking. Scattered around were a few other people, but it was amazing how when Jack suggested they move inland, just about everybody followed him.
Maddy was nervous about talking to Kate but she knew the longer she procrastinated and the more time that passed, the farther Sayid would get from the beach and the likelihood that she would catch up to him would decrease. But she didn't want to just barge in on Kate and Sawyer so she stood a few feet away from the shelter, listening to their conversation, making sure that she wasn't interrupting anything private.
Sawyer was breathing hard.
"Here are some painkillers that Jack left. It isn't much. Do you have more that you've hidden away? I can go get it if you tell me where it is," Kate said, holding out a couple of pills
"No," Sawyer said. "That stuff stays put. I'm okay. It doesn't really hurt."
"You're very pale," Kate said. She held out her hand. "Squeeze my hand. It'll take your mind off . . . things."
For a moment Sawyer didn't do anything, but then something inside him relented. He took her hand and gripped it, tighter as the wound throbbed. Breathing raggedly, he muttered, "Thanks."
That's when Maddy pretty much burst into the shelter. "Hi, guys. Sayid told me to talk to you, Kate, but I guess since you're kind of busy here, I guess I can talk to the both of you, if you don't mind," she babbled.
Sawyer stared at Maddy. "Who in tarnation are you?"
"Your name is Madison, right?" Kate said.
Now it was Maddy's turn to stare. "How did you know that?"
"When we first crashed, Jack and I went around checking on all the people who were unconscious. We went through your pockets and found your passport," Kate said.
Maddy wanted to yell, You did what? But she made herself stay calm. Though before she could say anything more, Kate added, "When did you talk to Sayid?"
"Just now," Maddy said. She quickly told Kate and Sawyer what happened, and about the compass, and what Sayid said were the conditions of her going with him.
"We've been here for two weeks," Kate said when Maddy finished her recitation. "How come you never spoke to anybody?"
"I was confused," Maddy said.
"If you'd rather go off into the jungle with that towelhead that stay here with your fellow Americans, then I'd say that you're still confused," Sawyer commented, looking interested despite himself.
"You said you were afraid to stay with either camp—on the beach or inland. Why?" Kate asked.
Now Maddy covered her face with her hands. "Rape. Men outnumber women two to one. I've seen the way some of the men look at me. I saw what Jack and Sayid did to Sawyer. I've read Lord of the Flies. There will be anarchy here soon enough because Jack is not a strong leader. And I don't want to be caught in the middle of it."
Sawyer let out a whoop of laughter. "So you're saying that Sayid isn't a real man, since you feel safe with him. And that Jack isn't a real man either because he's not strong. Now those are assessments I can go along with."
Kate gave Sawyer a hard look. "Sayid is a man, and just a man, not a superhuman being. I'm not trying to say he'd ever do anything like that, but . . . I mean, we don't know each other very well, and you're making assumptions about who would do what."
"Maybe I am," Maddy admitted. "But Sayid could never rape me. I offered myself to him willingly."
Kate let go of Sawyer and put her hands on Maddy's shoulders, looking her right in the eye. "How old are you, Madison?"
"Maddy," Maddy said. "I'm twenty. Well, I'm going to be twenty in a few months."
"Do you understand what you're doing, Maddy?" Kate asked. "You're trading your body for what you think is security."
"I'm not a virgin," Maddy said, lifting her chin. "I know what I'm doing. Besides, I know Sayid doesn't want me."
Sawyer's eyes swept over Maddy's body. "Just give him a few days and he won't be able to help himself, munchkin," he said.
Kate half-turned to look at Sawyer. "You're determined to find a way to insult Sayid no matter what Maddy says."
Sawyer nodded. "Yep. That just about sums it up right."
"It's okay if he changes his mind. Like I said, you can't rape the willing. I'll do anything as long as he lets me stay with him."
"Anything?" Sawyer raised an eyebrow. "Kate, scram, I have a munchkin to protect."
Maddy looked at Sawyer. "Sayid said that Kate would protect me. But I didn't tell him what I was afraid of. You can't protect me, Sawyer, because I don't trust you to. You're out for yourself and no one else and nothing I could do for you would change that."
"She's got you pegged, Sawyer," Kate said. "But, Maddy, as much as I understand your fear, I don't know if going with Sayid is a good idea. He has his own demons to wrestle with. Give him the compass and come back here. I can't promise that it will be all right, but you can trust me that I'll try."
"I think that's what Sayid was counting on you to say," Maddy said.
Kate gave a little smile.
"But what benefit could I serve on the beach or inland? I'm useless to you," Maddy said. "Just another mouth to feed."
"You could take a shift at night to feed the fire," Kate suggested.
Suddenly a cloud passed over Maddy's apparent confidence in her scheme. "The fire," she nearly whispered. "What if a rescue plane came and Sayid and I were out in the jungle. Nobody would ever find us."
"Good reason to stay here, don't you think?" Kate said.
"No, no," Maddy said, as though trying to convince herself. "I'd just end up doing laundry."
"Well, you did say you'd do anything," Sawyer said. "Should have specified regarding what."
"I was just giving an example," Maddy grumbled. "Let me really explain to you what I see."
She then proceeded to give a detailed account of all forty-eight people on the island, who they were, where they were, what they were doing, what they were thinking. She even tried to predict how they would begin to act once they thought that they were truly stuck on the island.
When Maddy was done, Sawyer and Kate were speechless. Neither one of them could believe what Maddy had seen, had understood. And she hadn't left out either of them. It was almost like she knew them as well as they knew themselves. And it wasn't always a flattering picture. Of course, Maddy wasn't trying to butter them up; she was trying to paint as bleak a picture as possible. But that didn't mean that she was wrong or unconvincing.
"Whew," Sawyer said finally. "Did I call her a munchkin before? Should have said Mata Hari." He paused, then, "Maddy, honestly, I don't care if you want to follow the wacky Iraqi or stay here and keep us all company, but you'd make a terrific spy."
"Sawyer, no," Kate said. "All that would do is sow suspicion between the camps. She can't."
"And how would they ever know?" Sawyer asked innocently. "Besides, it's not like we'd use the knowledge for nefarious purposes. How could it hurt to keep informed?"
Kate was torn. There was a certain logic to what Sawyer said, and she did detect a bit of interest in Maddy's eyes, but it didn't seem right. If they wanted to know what was going on inland, they ought to just ask. But somehow Maddy's safety seemed foremost. If she got the girl to stay on the beach, she could somehow make the whole spying thing go away.
"Well, I guess it couldn't," Kate forced out. "Maddy, what do you think? It could even be fun."
"And come to think of it, there is something else you could do for me besides laundry," Sawyer said.
"What's that?" Maddy asked almost fearfully.
"You could read to me my book. It hurts like hell when I raise my arm and it's awfully hard to turn the pages with your teeth," Sawyer said.
Maddy looked over at the book lying at Sawyer's side. "Watership Down is one of my favorite books," she said quietly.
"You really enjoy reading, don't you, Maddy?" Kate said. "I bet you miss it."
Maddy nodded.
Neither Sawyer nor Kate said anything more. They wanted to give her a moment to think about her options. She'd be better off coming to the decision on her own that she wanted to stay on the beach rather than feeling like they'd bullied her into it.
"I've got to go," Maddy said abruptly, standing up. "Don't try to stop me."
"Maddy, wait," Kate said.
"No! Don't follow me! Stay away from me!" Maddy yelled and started running.
Kate stopped in her tracks. "I'm worried about her, Sawyer," she said.
"She'll be back," he said, nonchalantly putting his uninjured arm behind his head.
"How can you be sure?" Kate said.
"Trust me. Like some people read books, I read women."
"I wish I could be so confident."