So, Who Stole the Marshmallows?

By Pyrasi

Aaaaand… I declare my writer's block officially one hundred percent OVER! Aren't you glad? Yes? No? Whatever. I sure am. This fanfic's a joy to write, what with all the crazy stuff I can stick in here (bwahahah!), but it really sucks (no, not that way, you bunch of perverts) when you just can't seem to put all those crazy ideas into words. So yea. Okay, I'll stop rambling and get on with it already. Thanks for all the reviews, you guys! Gaspshock&horror, twenty-something of 'em already! Never thought I'd go past five.

…No, seriously. And I didn't say that for the sake of telling a sob story regarding low confidence, either. So ha.

Yuki buried his head in his pillow, desperately trying to get at least a few seconds of sleep. Not that this task was all that easy, seeing that he had to bear Shuichi and Ryuichi's delighted shrieks as they played some game with Kumagoro and a packet of crayons. And furthermore, he was keeping an eye (or somewhat of an eye, anyways) on Tatsuha; thus, sleep seemed to be an impossible dream at that moment.

So how did Yuki end up in a tent with those three, you ask? Well, Ryuichi insisted on sharing a tent with Tatsuha and everyone's favorite pink haired ball of energy (as I like to call him), who insisted on bringing the novelist along, and how could said novelist refuse when Tatsuha was going to be there too? The boy was bound to try something less-than-orthodox (and to think he was a monk, ye gods) on someone, namely Ryuichi, who was (despite his outer appearance) a very powerful person… and Yuki really didn't want his brother to get in trouble with the law (again), because he himself, no doubt, would have to bail him out. How the hell did I end up in such a messed up family? Yuki thought to himself, momentarily ignoring that he wasn't quite every mother's dream.

Things weren't going much better for Hiro in the tent next door. Between attempting (and failing) to calm Sakano down, struggling to get K to put a safety lock on his 'dearest' revolver(1), and hopelessly trying to ignore that Marilyn, who was used to large king sized beds, was sprawled across half the tent (leaving him no sleeping room whatsoever), it was a bit hard to get some shut eye. I hope that Hermione girl is enjoying herself, he thought to himself bitterly. Hermione, who was still frustrated with Marilyn's…'special affect' on Ron, insisted on the blonde girl not sleeping with the Hogwarts trio, which was the whole reason Marilyn ended up in Hiro's tent in the first place.

…Unfortunately, that was also the reason Hermione was sharing a tent with Malfoy. Needless to say, she was not happy.

"Malfoy, shut up!" Hermione practically screamed, angrily glaring at the pale blonde as he smirked.

"Well, it isn't my fault you decided to bring something so… Hmm, how do I put this? Oh yes, Revealing. Is it possible that maybe you wanted to impress your fellow peers? I'm sorry to inform you, but you simply must bear the truth: it isn't working."

Malfoy's smirk grew wider (and curiously malevolent) as he watched Hermione's face turn about three different shades of red in a matter of seconds. "FOR YOUR INFORMATION, YOU SLIMY GIT, IT WAS THE ONLY THING I HAD!! WHAT MAKES YOU THINK THAT I, OF ALL PEOPLE, WOULD WANT TO… TO IMPRESS ANYONE?!" the prefect huffed. "I'm impressive enough. I do not need to dress like a slut to be liked."

Malfoy snorted arrogantly. "Oh, sure. And that's precisely why you're still single, right? Too… impressive? Hah!"

Ron and Harry held Hermione back as he lunged at Malfoy, who gaped for a moment and crawled to the other side of the tent quickly (or as quickly as he could while on hands and knees, anyways). He had experienced a few… 'attacks' from the girl in the past, and he wasn't quite in the mood to experience yet another.

Meanwhile, Ron and Harry were (somewhat reluctantly) trying to prevent the Hermione from committing murder. "Hermione, beating him senseless isn't going to solve anything!!" the boy who lived shouted.

"Well, let me do it for fun then!!" the prefect yelled back.

Harry thought about the possibility for a moment (the vision of Malfoy laying in a bruised, disjointed lump seemed rather appealing), before coming back to his senses. "HERMIONE! LET IT GO! We need to get some sleep if we want to have enough energy to head back tomorrow!!"

Hermione stopped struggling. "Fine, fine…" she muttered and slipped under her sleeping bag, huddling to shield herself from the cold.

"Hnn… Whaaa?" Hiro rubbed his eyes and blinked from the sudden daylight, the sensation of cold steel on his flesh. What's that thing on my face? …and why's it pointing at my forehead…?

…Then, it hit him.

"AHHHH!! K, DON'T AIM THAT THING AT ME!!" Hiro backed up hastily, only to stumble into Marilyn's unconscious body and fall on his back.

"Oww…"

K lent the boy a hand and pulled him up, chuckling. "Well, it's your fault for not waking up, y'know. Had to make you get your lazy ass out of bed somehow."

Hiro grunted, aching to tell K that he was part of the reason he didn't get any sleep, but deciding against it. Looking around the tent, he noticed that a certain someone was missing…

"Hey, where's Sakano?"

"Over here!" Sakano replied cheerfully, literally prancing around and putting herbs and hot water into little paper teacups. "I'm making breakfast!"

Hiro stared. "Woah man, didn't know he was such a morning person…" he mumbled, more than a tad surprised to see the usually conservative producer(2) so… bouncy. In a rather creepy way, it was like watching a black-haired Shuichi with glasses and a suit.

Fortunately, Hiro's moment of questioning his producer's sanity was interrupted by a loud yawn from Shuichi, who drowsily crawled out of his tent and stood up, stretching. Apparently, there was a time when the boy wasn't being spastic: the morning.

"Hnn… Wha… Whazferbreakfast…"

Sakano stopped arranging the food on the little paper plates for a moment. "Oh, good morning Shindou-san! I'm making cooked apples, granola bars and tea." He smiled, pleased with the fact that he managed to make breakfast (or a vague version of it, at least) in the middle of nowhere.

…Shuichi, however, didn't seem to share the pleasure. "Whaaa?! I want those American bread things… Mmm… What're they called again… Waffasomethin'…" he sat (slash collapsed) on a tree stump and rested his chin between his knees.

Sakano was a bit hurt, but continued to 'cook' nonetheless, Tohma in mind. Seguchi-san needs his breakfast, or he gets cranky… he thought to himself, somewhat tenderly. How does he know what Tohma is like without breakfast, you ask? Well, I suppose you can only imagine, since I'm not quite sure myself.

Suddenly, a yelp was heard from a tent nearby.

"MALFOY, MAY YOUR EYES GET PECKED OUT BY RAGING CROWS!! I HOPE YOU FALL DOWN A WELL AND DECAY MISERABLY FOR ETERNITY!!"

"AGH, GOD GRANGER!! IT'S JUST A PAIR OF PANTIES!!"

The four Hogwarts students came out of their tent, Hermione looking absolutely furious, Ron and Harry looking… just a little nervous, and Malfoy having a bit of a lump on his head.

And once more, the group stared, something they seemed to be doing a lot of lately. Gee, I wonder why?

"Aheh… Erm, sorry about that…" Hermione apologized, the nervous look Ron and Harry had on their faces appearing on hers, once she realized what she had just done. "We, um… confused bags."

The Slytherin, who couldn't care less what the Japanese strangers thought of him, glared at Hermione spitefully. "I could've done without the smack on my head, thank you very much. Egad, it was an accident!"

Momentarily forgetting her embarrassment, Hermione glowered back. "I DON'T BELIEVE YOU, YOU BASTARD!! IT'S NOT LIKE MY BAG WAS NEAR YOU, WAS IT NOW?!"

"WELL GEE, I'M EVER SO SORRY FOR NOT HAVING SUPERNATURAL ABILITIES TO IDENTIFY ALMOST IDENTICAL BAGS IN THE DARK!!" Malfoy retorted sarcastically.

"Hey, um, calm down you guys," Hiro said, sweatdropping. He really wasn't in the mood for teenage drama (would you beif you were stuck in a forest?). "Let's just forget about whatever happened in there and eat the, uh, breakfast." He continued, eyeing the plates Sakano arranged in a circle. Random fruits, cooked with bottled tap water, over a manmade fire, along with granola bars and random herbs found in a hippy's bag… Oh yes, everyone's dream meal.

And speak of the devil (or hippy), out from her tent came Squirrel. She seemed to be nice and freshened up, but Tohma, Suguru and Noriko, who came out into the open along with her, seemed to be on the verge of toppling over.

…Apparently, the environmentalist didn't have very good sleeping habits. Did she snore? Did she drool? Did sleep talk incoherently about peace, love, and Nader? Take your pick, folks.

Sitting around like a dysfunctional little family on a camping trip, everyone ate the breakfast Sakano prepared, which was surprisingly bearable. Gasp!

But after finishing, the 'family' was faced with a small problem: they had no clue whatsoever what to do next.

Well, except for Tohma, because he was… well, Tohma. I think this goes without saying.

"Alright, after thinking it over a bit, I came up with a solution that would, I believe, be best for all of us: obviously, the producers of the show had given us the wrong location of where the filming was going to be done, so I say we head back to our vans, and drive back to Tokyo. There, I will contact the producers, and we can report Marilyn, Squirrel, and you students to the police as lost. Hopefully, they will be able to do something about it. Sounds good?" he asked. Of course, it was barely a question, for he knew in advance that he would be agreed with, in that Tohma-ish way of his.

As he predicted, everyone nodded, Sakano wiping away a little tear in pride (such an emotional little bugger, eh?).

"Omigod, iiiiick! It's a beetle!" Marilyn squealed as she clung tightly to the first human she could find, namely Tatsuha.

…He seemed to be rather content with a young female hanging onto him for dear life. Hey, he might be totally and completely bent on Ryuichi, but that doesn't mean he can't have time for the ladies, right?

"K, are you sure you know where we're going?" Yuki questioned, annoyed beyond reason that he had been walking through a bug infested chunk of forest for hours on end, all to get to a van.

"Don't worry, Holmes, I remember exactly where the car is." The manager replied happily. "Just a few left turns and we're there!"

Yuki raised an eyebrow impatiently. "You said that half an hour ago."

"AH! HERE IT IS!" K stated, completely ignoring the novelist's statement. "We just have to take a turn around that tree and we're there!" he concluded contentedly.

If it wasn't for the fact that this had been the fifth time he said that in the past hour, everyone else probably would've been content too. But unfortunately for them, this was far from the case.

…Not that they had much of a choice but to reluctantly follow him, since he was the only one who 'knew' where they were in the first place. Sigh, what a silly idea it was to put him (of all people!) in charge of the location and driving.

After what seemed like decades of searching, the group finally returned to the pseudo-campsite.

"God, we are never going to get out of this…" Ron slumped onto a tree stump miserably. "Stuck in an unknown forest with a bunch of insane foreigners who don't even have a pack of marshmallows to spare… There is no hope for life…" he groaned.

Harry wanted to comfort his best friend, but frankly, he had no idea how; the situation seemed rather unpromising.

Marilyn, of course, remained unfazed. "Come on you guys, cheer up! It's gonna be soooo much fun! We can sing camp songs, and eat pretzels around the fire, and do each other's hair, and make up cool Native American dances, and and aaand… STUFF!! Yea!" she cheered for no reason in particular.

"Well, we'd better start a fire again…" Suguru said grimly, ignoring the Dutch princess. "It's getting late… Who will gather the wood?"

"Oh! Oh! Me and Yuki will!" Shuichi said about as happily as he could while being hopelessly stuck in a forest. The singer was a strong optimist, and thus he decided to make the best of the situation.

…Well, the best of it for him. As much as Yuki loved the pink haired boy (though he'd never admit it), all he wanted to do was get as far away from the group as possible and smoke. But, not having the energy to argue, he reluctantly got up, legs tired, and followed Shuichi out of the clearing.

"So, what's your name again, kid?"

"Oh, um… it's Hermione… And you're Noriko, right?"

Noriko winked. "Yep. Nice to meet ya."

"A pleasure to meet you too." Hermione grinned happily, glad to see that at least someone in this insane little group was friendly.

"Sorry ya had to get stuck with our lot, of all people," the Nittle Grasper bandmate said humorously, peeling a carrot for the upcoming dinner... thing. "We've probably scared you students shitless, eh?"

Said student laughed nervously. "Err, well, I admit the situation is a bit… odd... But I wouldn't say that. We've probably done our fair share of peculiar things." She smiled a little.

"What was that panties bit, anyways?" Noriko raised an eyebrow, smirking. "Hormones getting a hold of you bunch?"

Hermione blushed. "Oh, well… Umm… Err…" she mumbled something about bags in the wrong places and sick, annoying Slytherins.

Noriko chuckled. "Well, if you think that's bad, just wait 'till you get to know Tatsuha a bit more. The boy's a downright whore sometimes."

The bushy haired girl's eyes widened a bit, for she not used to people calling guys… whores. For obvious reasons. Maybe it's some kind of a slang mix-up, she thought. "W-what do you mean by a… a…" the student stuttered, trailing off.

Noriko sighed and shook her head. "You know Ryuichi?"

Hermione raised an eyebrow. "Ryu…?"

"The one with the pink bunny."

"Oh, him."

"Let's just say Tatsuha's a bit… obsessed with him. Seriously, he'd do anything to get him in bed. He even dressed up as Yuki once to get his phone number!" Noriko snorted, remembering that particular incident (which she half caused, along with Hiro). "Not to mention he used to sleep with Yuki's girlfriends all the time, once he was done with 'em. And I think he tried to screw Shuichi once… Possibly Hiro too, but I'm not sure…"

Hermione gawked, eyes beyond saucers (or bowling balls, even. House elf look? I think so). She didn't reply to that, deciding not to converse much with anyone from that scary lot of foreigners. Ye gods, didn't their mothers teach them manners?! Or dignity at the very least?! She thought, utterly disturbed. To think, sleeping around so much… And with men, too! She went back to arranging Squirrel's plastic plates and putting cooked carrots on them, the happiness of finding someone friendly fading away into disgust.

Noriko blinked at her. Gee, I wonder what I said…

"Owwie!" Shuichi yelled, sniffling a bit. "I HATE CUTS! STUPID STICKS!" the spaz kicked one into the dust. "Yuuuuki, will you make it better?" he asked, making his famous (or infamous, rather) puppy dog face.

Yuki rolled his eyes. "Another one?! This is cooking lessons all over again…" he went over and kissed one of the many fresh cuts. "There, happy? Yeesh."

Shuichi nodded, and lifted another log. You know, maybe this isn't so bad after all… he thought to himself. Camping is fun! And forests are all pretty and romantic…

After a few moments of silence, Shuichi spoke up again. "Wow, the sky looks really amazing!"

Yuki looked up at the reddish-pink sunset above them, eyes widening slightly at its brilliance. "Yea… It is…" he agreed quietly.

"Say, what do you think would've happened if the camera crew actually came?" Shuichi questioned, more to himself than anyone. "We wouldn't have a chance to be alone… There'd be camera's following us all over the place… This is much better…"

Yuki thought about it for a moment. The boy had a point; and Yuki did like his privacy. Though there was not much privacy in a tent, he could at least take a walk in the woods without being disturbed. The atmosphere was rather inspiring, actually. He was about to reply, when suddenly, the rustling of leaves was heard.

…And out of the trees came a bear.

Wow. Talk about unlucky.

(1) – it's a type of gun. Probably obvious, since K-san is the one in possession of it, but… you can never be to sure.

(2) – he's the producer, right? –sweatdrop- man, I'm so bad with details. But oh well, you forgive this poor idiot, right? XP

Bwahahaha! I cut off a semi-emotional moment, and with the entrance of a carnivorous forest creature, at that! I'm so proud. But anyways, time for the chapterly (…not a word, I know) handing out of food for the reviewers! This time, I have muffins. Banana nut muffins, too. Say, do you guys know the muffin man? He lives in New Jersey. A bit involved with the mafia there, I heard… Dun dun dun… Oh, the drama!

…-cough- don't ask. Please.