Chapter 5: Focus is Good -- caalan4rfr

The next day went by as usual only Lily felt like she was encased in a bubble. She could see and hear what was going on around her but as if it were through thick glass, muted and indistinct. Ray had definitely hurt her but she wondered which part of her was hurt more, the friend or the girlfriend.

She was sure of one thing; she didn't want to sit at their usual table at lunch. She couldn't face him yet, she couldn't face all of the looks of pity she was sure to receive from Robbie and Travis and nearly everyone who crossed her path. When the bell rang letting the classes out at noon she wandered outside onto the school grounds. She found a spot and sat with her notebook in her lap once more. Basking in the sun felt like a balm to the soul, she abandoned songwriting for a moment and leaned back on her arms tilting her face into its warmth.

Travis had entered the cafeteria and immediately noticed Lily's absence. He skulked away quietly without being noticed. While he was secretly relieved that Ray and Lily were no longer an item, he could not pretend to be chipper and normal around the one guy who had hurt her. A few moments of meditation outside would do wonders. He exited the building, about to head for a nice shady area when he spotted her on the lawn.

Seeing her in that open moment of repose was like a punch to the gut. She was beautiful. How could Ray turn away from that? He was debating whether to approach her when he realized she was staring at him now. They held that gaze for a few moments and for him it was intense enough to cause a slight shake in his fingers. He nervously wiped his palms on his pants and walked towards her.

He tried to keep the mood light and cheerful, "Decide not to risk the meatloaf surprise?" She was not in the mood for jokes, "Not in the mood for a pity party." She sighed as if she wished she could take back the bitter comment, "Here, sit Travis, I'm going to get a sore neck staring up at you."

He smiled slightly and lowered himself to the ground. When he began to sit exactly behind her Lily turned her head in confusion. "What are you doing?"

"Supporting you both literally and figuratively." He motioned for her to lean her back against his, which she did. "The added bonus is you won't see any looks of compassion or pity if I happen to let one slip."

The other bonus was that she couldn't see how nervous she made him suddenly. "So, Lily, still working on that song?"

She huffed a little, "Funny, I was trying so hard to write a song about heartbreak but it's just not coming. I mean I am upset and hurt but I don't know that my heart is shattered. Does that make any sense?" His back felt strong and supportive as she leaned against him, it was comforting. She also felt his spiky hair as he leaned his head against hers and she smiled a little.

Travis just gave an acquiescent little sound, "Hmmmm."

She continued, "Whatever it was has now joined up with whatever it is."

She felt him shift slightly as if he wanted to turn toward her. "I don't recognize that. Is that a quote?"

"It's Pooh."

"Did you just say Poo?"

She laughed and flopped down onto the grass along side of him, trying to see if she could feel the earth turn on its axis. "Tell me you weren't that sheltered, Travis." She clarified it for him, "Winnie the Pooh, authored by A. A. Milne?"

He flopped down as well, his head beside hers, their feet sticking out in opposite directions. He turned to her with a quirky grin, "The deprivation runs deep, I'm afraid."

"I guess I'm just now coming to accept that whatever happened with Ray has happened and I'll have to move on to the next level of our many-layered friendship. I'll have to find something else to focus on, that's all." She turned her head to find Travis' intense gaze upon her.

His voice seemed impossibly deep, "Focus is good."

Her voice dropped to a whisper as she returned his stare, "Yeah, focus is good. What is it that you focus on in times like this?"

She saw his eyes drift across her face and she swallowed nervously. They both jumped a little when the sound of the bell rang signaling the warning to get back to class. Like a curtain dropping, the emotions she had seen in Travis' eyes disappeared. He smiled amiably and rose holding out a hand to help her up.

"We'd better get back," he said.

She took his hand and gathered her things, walking alongside of him in silence.

Back to what, she wondered.