Duckie- Cheep cheep????
(Looking inside the oven) Shut up Duckie! Sure you finally fixed the laptop, but I heard from my sources that you were badmouthing me!
Duckie- Bork! Bork! Bork!
Likely story..... Wait, what the hell goes Bork, bork, bork???????
Duckie- Errrrrrrrr..........
Now look what you did!! You ruined the plot!! You're only supposed to make animal noises!! Now no one is going to read the story! (Cries)
Duckie- Baaaaaaaaaaaa!!!
Yes people do read the story!
Duckie- Kakaw! Kakaw!
Yes, other people besides me! You know what.... Screw you! (Puts chair in front of the oven) You're in time out Mr.!! Anyway, since the old narrator unfortunately died, (Duckie coughs loudly) I will have to introduce my story! (Duckie mumbles something) I heard that! (Points accusingly at the oven) You have no part in this story until you change your attitude! And for all you nice people out there reading this, here is the fifth installation of..... "Shut it you Cheese Danish!!!!"
Chapter 5......... yo yo yo!!
(LAST TIME IN THE STORY)
Hermione- A BANANA IS NOT A GREEN VEGETABLE!!!
Cho- Do not joke like that Long Duk Dong!
Rest of em- (Look confused)
Hermione- Are you kidding me???? What are you, a bunch of idiots??
Rest of em- (Raise their hands and nod)
Ginny (still acting manly but at the same time all melted) - Why must you yell at us like a coach would do to one on a Quidditch team from Hungary??
Seamus (still still still still drunk and still sporting the Russian accent) – Yesh, it vurts our feelvings, und I am hungry also!!
Hermione- (throws book at Seamus) what the hell do you know? Your stupidity is ridiculous!
Harry- A Boggart, where????? It will turn into a bad hair day!! Hide me!! (Hides behind manly Ginny)
Ginny- What is this?? Do you still love me??
Harry- (terrified) Ummm, yes?
Ginny- (grins widely and flexes)
Hermione- Oh Merlin......
Ginny then takes Harry and drags him out of the room, but not before Harry screams and tries to run away. Manly Ginny is just too damn strong though, she drags him right along with ease.
Seamus- (yelling and suddenly deciding to lose the Russian accent) where are you going?!?!?!?!??! Take me with you!! I need more (stammers) Alco.....Alco..... Beer!!!!
Dean- Where are they prancing away to? Are they going to have a milk drinking contest?
Cho- No! They are going to knit scarves for Flitwick out of silver and green yarn since Flitwick is in Gryffindor!
Ron- (snaps finger and throw peace sign pieces of confetti) Groovy!
Hermione- Oh please, even though you are all morons, it's still extremely obvious
Rest of em- (stare blankly)
Hermione- Well... Harry and Ginny supposedly went out and quote "Did it" right?
Rest of em- (nod)
Hermione- Harry denies that it ever happened in the first place, so we, or at least me, thought he was gay. That and the crying over a manicure, fears of a bad hair day, and the salmon colored toenails. But to see Harry screaming bloody murder when Ginny dragged him out of the room was enough evidence for anyone. Although Ginny now acts like a man she is still a girl no matter what. So.................
Dean- Sew Buttons!!!!
Rest of em- (claps)
Hermione- No!! Soooo........ Since Harry screamed when a girl tried to take him away and he greatly refused, that must mean he is no longer a heterosexual!
Rest of em- (look confused)
Hermione- Ok let me put it in simply terms, Harry is gay!
Rest of em – (gasps and throws bottles of shampoo at the window)
Cho- Oh horror is me! How can this be? I loved Harry for so long from afar and now he will never love me back! Why, oh why, God of fish sticks!?!?!?!
Seamus- Maybe it is because you smell like stinky wheaty froggys with Sunflower oil!
Ron- Or maybe it is because your Karma is all bent out of shape man!
Dean- Killer!
Seamus- Indeed!
Cho- That's right Kenny Blankenship! And here comes Adolf Babaganoosh!
Hermione- Give me a break.......
Ron- I want to play man! (Puts on a peanut suit) Where are those little rocks of glory and cheese that I must run on to win the prize of the Great Bambini Magellan!
Dean- Here, use these! (Throws books on the floor)
Hermione- WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?!?!?!?!?!
Dean- (falls over in utter and complete fear)
Cho- Being silly silly goosey people from MXC!
At that moment, Harry and Ginny come back into the room
Dean- (from the floor) and what were yoooooooouuuuuuu doing?
Ginny- (giggles in a manly way) we'll never tell.....
Harry- (sniffs)
Hermione- No seriously, well no one takes me seriously, but what were you two doing? And please don't say what I think it was.
Dean- What do yooooooouuuuuuu think it was???
Hermione- Ahem..... (Looks at the ground)
Ginny- Maybe.... (Giggles again)
Harry- (sniffs and wipes his eyes with a hanky)
Ginny- (punches Harry in the arm) Right Harry?
Harry- (silently nods his head)
Ginny- That's my bran muffin! Well if you excuse me I need to go use the little boys' room! I will be back my little Conan O'Brian!
Rest of em- Errrrrrrrr......
Ginny gallops out of them room singing "Dope Show" As soon as she/he leaves, Harry starts sobbing
Hermione- Why are you crying Mr. I-am-back-with-manly-Ginny?
Harry- Help me!!!
Cho- (still pissed) what do need help with? You're going to be happy with Ginny face forever! (Starts to sob too)
Hermione- That was like the only normal thing you have said through out the entire story! Bravo! (Claps)
Harry- (sobs louder)
Seamus- Not so loud!! AHHHHH hangover city!! No more yanky my wanky! Seamus need food!
Hermione- (throws a bunch of bananas at Seamus) There's your green vegetable right??
Reader- You're still mad about that?
Hermione- Shut up you! Just read the story, you stupid M!#$%( F&#%!#$ C%$# S%(#
Reader- Whoa........
Rest of em- (jaws on the floor)
Cho- What a colorful vocabulary!
Ron- In way cool shades of earthy green and brown!
Seamus- (snore)
Dean- Professor Snape would be proud! With his Gucci purse and hundreds of dirty history textbooks!
Hermione- (breathing deeply and calming down) Wow that felt good! All my anger from your stupidity finally came out! I am now content among myself like a free little daisy!
Harry- (starts sobbing again) Please help me.......
Hermione- (sighs) Ok Harry, what do you need help with?
Harry- Please keep Ginny away from me!!!!!!!!!
Cho- (suddenly interested) but I thought your lurved her like fat kid loves cake!
50 Cent comes in
50- Yo yo I got copyright on that! Stop trying to steal muh stuff! (Tries to shoot Cho)
Cho- Awwwwww you want to dance?? Let's dance then my lovely!!! (Grabs 50's hands and starts doing the Cotton Eye Joe dance)
Dean and Ron- (trying to clap to the beat but are failing miserably)
50- Ahhhhhhhh you's a crazy Mofo!! I'm outta here yo! (Runs out)
Hermione- Well that was a little, err, odd..... Now Harry please explain why you want us to keep Ginny away from you when it seems that you love her again?
Harry- (sniffs loudly) Well... first of all she tried to kiss me while we were in that one room. She is so disgustingly gross there was no way I could possibly kiss her, and the fact that she now acts like a man! I don't kiss men!
All- WHAT?!?!?!?!!?!
Harry- Well duh I'm not gay... I'm just a metrosexual!
Hermione- Well now that makes sense!
Harry- What? You all thought I was gay?
Rest of em- (points at Hermione)
Hermione- I made a mistake! Everyone makes mistakes! Hey wait, you said that was number one. So what is the real reason that you want Ginny kept away from you?
Harry- (His eyes start getting watery again) She... she......
Dean- Spit it out ya jack-in-the-box!
Harry- She made me eat meat!!!!!!!!!!!
Cho- So????
Harry- I'M A VEGETARIAN!! (Starts sobbing again)
All- (gasp loudly)
Ron- That's heavy man, no vegetarian should ever have to eat a fellow living being...... Like freaky deaky Carneys
Harry-(sniffs) Thanks man that means a lot; I just can't stand being around her. She's just so.....
At that exact moment Ginny walks in, with toilet paper stuck to his/her shoe
Ginny- What is this you say you stupid little jellyfish with a little wiener????
All- (look at each other, confused)
Harry- I was saying, Miss Ginny that I can't stand the fact that you act like a man and that you smell horrific! And you look just as horrific for that matter!!!
Ginny- I am a man!! I am!!!!!
Harry- No you are not!! You are an ugly woman and an ugly man! You're as ugly as they come!!!!!! And you....... Have no agility!!!
Ginny- We will see about that you defective toy!
A boxing ring suddenly shoots out from the ground. There is a rather large table on the one side of the ring. It has odd items, such as fake nails, a large cooler with God knows what in it, and several eye liners. The "Rest of Em" is sitting on bleachers that also came out of the ground. Hermione and Duckie are sitting in a booth higher than the bleachers. The "Rest of Em" are eating cut up pieces of pickle and kiwi with peanut butter glaze.
(EVERYTHING STOPS YET AGAIN)
How the hell did you get out the oven Duckie?? I put a damn chair in front of it!
Duckie- Tweet Tweet Tweet!!
Ok maybe it was a little harsh to keep you in the oven for so long, but you were bad mouthing me, and you went OOC!!
Duckie- Come on! The readers have no way of understanding what I say unless you answer me!
Well I can't argue with that kind of logic..... Ok you can drop the animal talk!
Duckie- Hurrah I am not fired!!! And I don't have to sit in that oven anymore!
I would say that.... (Takes Duckie and puts him back in the oven, with the chair in front of it)
Duckie- I thought we were cool!!
I thought so too, but then I remembered that you were badmouthing me and calling me inappropriate names! Inside the oven you will stay, you haven't finished your time out yet!!
Duckie- This is animal cruelty! I'm calling P.E.T.A on you!!!!
You're bluffing!! Like in Texas hold em poker on TV (sighs) with Seth Myers!!!!!! But just to be sure (puts another chair in front of the oven) Now be quiet Duckie!! Until the laptop gets fixed yet again the chapter will unfortunately have to end for now, until next time.... And remember, "Sky's the limit baby!!"