Thanks to those who commented on my first fic. Here's another one. I still don't own anything.

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Lorelai's POV

Eight years is a lot to live up to. It's not as if he woke up one morning last May and thought to himself: 'I'm newly single, I need some fun, who else around here ('cause, let's face it, he wouldn't look too far) is single and looking to have a good time?' He's wanted me for EIGHT YEARS.

My only real question, besides the obvious What took him so long? is why? Why me?

If it were just 'cause he thinks I'm hot, the feeling would have dissipated a long time ago. My millions of quirks have put those feelings to rest without fail in many a man.

Luke has seen my bad relationships (or as much of them as I would allow him to see). He has both witnessed and been the victim of my shameless flirting to get what I want. He is no stranger to my bad fashion choices, sullen before-coffee behavior, mid-crisis panic attacks, embarrassing breakdowns...

Of course he's also been lucky enough to glimpse my charming personality, sparkling wit and immense joie-de-vivre. Let it not be said that Lorelai Gilmore is a martyr!

I guess it could also said that he's attracted to me...and before you accuse me of being overly vain, I know because I can tell. It's in the way he reaches for me, the way he searches my eyes before he kisses me...

Which brings me to the how did I deserve a great guy like him part. First of all, why did he put up with my basically ignoring his feelings for so long? Sure, he's been with other women while waiting for me to pull my head out of the sand, but it never seemed to work out. Of which I am very relieved, by the way. Then I'd be the one pining, and God knows how I suck at that!

Secondly, is there really anyone that I've taken more advantage of than him? I've been relentless in my quest for free home repairs and renovation (oh the guilt over that!). I've abused his hospitality more than once and have felt no remorse in parading in cute outfits in front of him. What? I am a woman, he's definitely a man (hmm...) and I love the reassurance that I look good. What red-blooded girl doesn't?

Third, I bring my own set of needs to a relationship. Needs that have to be met. I need someone who sees my strength and independence, who appreciates them, respects them, doesn't try to change them, but who'll let me lean on him when it all gets to much. Who won't see me letting down my guard and giving in to pressure as a sign of weakness.

Luke gets all this. He knows about it and wants to be 'the boyfriend' in spite of it. How did I get so lucky?

And now I get to lay awake in his bed and stare at him as he sleeps. I get to be the one whose heart feels like it's going to explode with the emotions welling up inside me, to be the one struggling to memorize his features lest he wake up in the morning and realize that he doesn't want to put up with the hassle and ask me to leave. Which would break my heart.

Maybe I should save him the trouble of finding out that the fantasy is always much more fulfilling than the reality. Maybe I should silently slide out from under the covers we've warmed with out bodies, gather my clothes and let myself out with nary a peep. Maybe I should reclaim the upper hand I had before he made me fall for him. Maybe I should break his heart before he shatters mine.

But then I'd have to face a life without what that big step from friend to lover entails. I'd miss the smile only I can coax out of him. I'd miss the deep breath he always takes when I lean in for a kiss. I'd miss the way he cares for Rory in a way her father never could. I'd miss his surly moods and our fights. I'd especially miss the amazing make-up sex we indulge in (the best part of a fight in my opinion; with him it's always worth picking one...). I'd miss him.

What's a girl to do?