Disclaimer: I don't own Sailor Moon or Labyrinth. I'm writing this strictly for my sick, perverse pleasure. >:d
Mamoru sighed as he stepped through the forest daintily. He shivered lightly, drawing his billowy shirt closer about himself. "It certainly is getting cold pretty fast…"
His step paused as he heard a crackling of fire to his right. He tilted his head in curiosity as he heard laughter fill the air.
"Might as well investigate…" he muttered out loud to himself. With a shrug he headed over to a large clearing, black eyebrows raised. The sight he encountered both shocked and horrified him.
Around a large bon fire dance four or five chibi Zoisites, all dressed in bright red furry outfits that were so tight Mamoru had to assume the inner layers of the costumes were made of spandex. One of the dancing Zoisites popped off his head and bopped it up into the air, laughing all the while. Another Zoisite hit the head as it bounced over to him. They all giggled.
"Oh…my…Kami…-Sama…" Mamoru slapped a hand over his eyes, wrenching back a hysterical sob. "I've gone mad. That has to be it. I'm probably locked up; bouncing around in some padded room right now, laughing. Oh my Kami-sama!"
Then, much to Mamoru's complete and absolute horror, the chibis (who seemed completely oblivious to his existence) began to sing in voices so high-pitched, so squeaky, he swore they must have been inhaling helium. "When the sun goes down!" One began, shaking his little butt all around.
"When the sun goes down!" The others echoed.
"And the bats are back to bed (and the bats are back)
The brothers come 'round (the brothers come 'round)
I get out of my dirty bed (my dirty bed)
I shake my pretty little head (I shake my pretty little head)," almost as if on cue they all shook their heads.
"Tap my pretty little feet (tap my pretty little feet)," and tapped their feet.
"Feeling brighter than sunlight (oh)," at about this point in the song they all began to take off random body parts and toss them about or form completely new creations out of the various parts.
"Louder than thunder (oh)
Bouncing like a yo-yo, wooh (oh)."
Mamoru peaked through his hands and nearly fainted as he saw the chibis pulling off assorted limbs and heads, throwing them about and whapping at them playfully. His face blanched, his hands trembled. Mamoru's left eye spasmed violently and he suddenly reached out, grabbing a hold of the nearest head. "OI! Stop!" he roughly shoved the head onto a body and turned quickly. "I can't take any more of this madness. I'm out of here!" He stormed off, leaving a group of bewildered chibis behind.
Muttering angrily to himself, Mamoru came upon a dead end, a sheer cliff leading upwards into oblivion. He gulped.
"…Kuso."
With a small sigh Mamoru turned to find a new way to go on.
"Yipe!" Mamoru jumped in surprise as a rope fell down the side of the cliff and smacked him on the side of the head. "OOOOHAAAAYOOOO!" called a familiar voice from above.
"Makoto?" Mamoru called up as he gripped the rope and tugged to make sure it was stable. He nodded in satisfaction and began to climb.
"That's HOGGLE!"
"Yare, yare…Hoggle."
"That's right," muttered Makoto as she helped Mamoru up and over the edge of the cliff.
"Domo."
Makoto grinned and shrugged. "Oi, what are friends for?"
Mamoru raised a wary eyebrow and patted Makoto on the shoulder. Makoto's green eyes widened, "I-Iie! Matte!" Mamoru blinked and looked down just in time to see the ground opening below himself and Makoto. "Well, crap."
-Flash Back-
"Oh, and Hoggle?" Usagi raised a cool eyebrow.
"H-hai Jarred-sama?" Makoto winced expectantly.
"If Mamo-…Sarah ever touches you I'll turn you into a prince."
"H-honto?"
"Hai…a prince of the land of stench!" she cackled wickedly, rubbing her small, pale hands together mischievously.
-End Flash Back-
The two tumbled down a long, slimy tunnel that spat them out onto a crumbling stone ledge.
Mamoru's eyes widened in disgust as a putrid stench filled his oh-so delicate nostrils, "Kami-sama!" he exclaimed, his words a little muffled as he clamped a hand over his nose and mouth. Makoto nodded her head as she snaked along the edge of the wall staring down at the hideous bog of stench below. It bubbled and spat brown fumes into the air, the smell absolutely abhorrent. Makoto's face paled and she swooned, her head becoming light and tipsy. Mamoru clamped his free hand onto her shoulder, pressing her back against the wall.
"You okay?" he asked, slipping along the wall.
Makoto nodded and gave a distracted "hai".
Mamoru leaned forward and glanced down. The two were no longer hovering over the bog but were over the dirt banks of the smelly marsh.
"Oh, good. It looks like we're safe now."
Alas…he had spoken too soon. The ledge crumbled, sending the two careening down to the earth below. Mamoru blinked in surprise, expecting to slam into dirt and rock, but found his fall was oddly cushioned. He shoved Makoto off of himself and jumped to his feet when he heard a muffled grown beneath him. He looked down and yelped upon seeing Minako in her very bright, very fuzzy orange suit.
"Ludo…in pain…"
Hastily Mamoru helped Minako to her feet, dusting her off once she stood.
"Gomen nasai Minako!" He bowed low, "we didn't mean to fall on you!"
Makoto blinked, "We didn't? I thought it was the best possible landing. That suit, err, fur…of hers gives niiice cushioning." Mamoru cast her a quick glare and then turned back to Minako who was only smiling at the others brightly. "Mina…where's Ami?"
"Ami?" the blonde asked, tilting her head in confusion.
"That hat you had on earlier?"
"Oh…" Minako frowned in concentration, trying her best to think. "Ludo no know. Ludo fell and Ami-Hat gone when Ludo woke up!"
Mamoru shook his head slowly as he heaved a heavy sigh. "Well we don't have time to worry about that now…We need to get to that castle."
Minako nodded once, smiling brightly once more. "This way!" She grabbed a hold of Makoto's and Mamoru's arms and began to drag them off further into the steaming, stinking, smelling, reeking bog.
Minako stopped before an old, rickety bridge that led over the bubbling, fuming waters. "And you want us to get across using…this?" Mamoru cocked a brow as he looked at Minako. The fuzzy orange clad girl nodded her head with a grin. "Hai!"
Makoto nodded. "Sounds like a plan to me! Me first!" She strolled across the bridge quickly, making sure not to step too heavily in any one area.
Mamoru groaned but hesitantly stepped out onto the bridge. When it didn't collapse he sighed in relief. "Well…this isn't so bad." About mid-way across the bridge he heard a loud cracking sound. He looked down at his feet and his blue eyes widened. The wood was snapping. He yelped and jumped up, grabbing onto an overhead branch, dangling there as the old wooden bridge gave out completely and collapsed into the murky pits below.
Mamoru gulped as he clung to the branch, his eyes widening further in horror as he heard the aged bough crack.
"Not again…"