A/N: This probably sucks big time because I am really bad at writing first person. Warning: there is some harsher language in this chapter – so you've been warned.
I am going somewhere with this fic (really) you'll just have to trust me (RUN RUN WHILE YOU STILL CAN!)
Chapter 3 – Lost
Life is fucking weird. One minute I'm sitting in a back alley wondering where I'm going to get my next meal, and now I'm sitting in an all-night diner eating as much as I want – courtesy of a valley Barbie girl.
I hate people who are always going on about their sad and pathetic lives. Everyone has tough breaks, though I will admit that I've had some pretty rough ones. I have no idea who my mom was, though with the way my dad used to tell it, I guess I'm a lot like her.
I guess it could be worse – I could be like my dad.
The bastard could never hold down a job for more than a few weeks – usually getting fired for showing up to work drunk, or never showing up at all. Of course, I was always the one at fault.
I was the reason mom left. I'm the reason he can't keep a job. I'm the reason he drinks all the time. I'm the reason he had to hit me.
When I turned twelve, I figured the streets had to be better than what was going on at home.
First few months I was green; got picked up by the cops a few times, got raped, slashed but I wised up. Began to hang out with a gang, stole to pay my way…and do a few other things. It wasn't much of a family, but it was security. That is until a rival gang decided they wanted our territory. It's not everyday that you get to watch your friends being shot to pieces when moments before they were laughing.
Since then I've been bouncing between juvenile hall and squats, not getting close to anybody – concentrating on staying alive. Then three months ago I was sleeping in an alley when I felt something strange happen.
It was like my whole body was filled with energy, and I felt fucking great. My body has changed; I'm faster and stronger, and it's like I got these senses that warn me about danger. The biggest problem was that I seemed to be in danger a lot more often since the change. These strange guys attack me for no reason – and they look like they've been getting money by acting as human experiments.
Then there are the dreams.
Every night I dream about this girl. I know it's a girl, though I can't really see her, I do remember her eyes. She had really beautiful green eyes. Sometimes she's telling me things about demons and Slayers; other nights she's just there, or singing me a lullaby.
And every night I ask her for help.
And every night she says, "Soon."
The blonde girl, Buffy, is looking down at her coffee, probably wondering why she's feeding a half-starved street urchin. I stop my food inhalation to study her. What was a girl like her doing in a New York graveyard at night? For whatever reason – probably the sound of the fork hitting the plate stopping – the girl looked up.
It was then I noticed her eyes.
Buffy watched Andy eat with amusement. The only other person she has seen eat so much in so little of time was Faith after a good slay.
Maybe there is more to Faith's H&H theory than I gave her credit for, she thought.
Sipping her coffee, Buffy realized that she couldn't hear Andy's voice anymore. Not that the other voices had quieted down, but there was definitely one less. Distracted by the hum of voices, it took a moment for Buffy to realize that Andy wasn't eating anymore. Looking up, she found Andy looking at her intently – then her eyes widened in surprise.
I wonder what that's about? Buffy thought, her eyebrows wrinkling in confusion. The expression left Andy's face quickly, and she spoke quickly.
"So, why'd you take me out and feed me? And who was that jerk that turned to dust?"
"Well, I fed you because you looked hungry, and that jerk was a vampire," Buffy replied succinctly, taking another sip of her coffee. She knew that Andy had already met a few demons from what she had heard from the voice in her head, so she wasn't worried about her reaction. She was curious about why Andy was now looking at her with a kind of recognition.
"Vampires? This is a joke right?" Andy asked, trying to gage if the girl really was serious. Now that she listened carefully, Andy recognized the voice as the one from her dreams – and that girl had spoken about demons too. But the red-head hadn't exactly been raised to be trusting of others.
"You know its not a joke, you can feel it can't you? That's because you're a Slayer…just like me."
Andy's eyes narrowed at the girl's last statement. It was the exact same thing her dream-girl had told her – word for word. So if Buffy really was her…then did Buffy have dreams about her too? She was about to ask when a cell phone began to ring.
Buffy reached into her pocket and brought out a cell. Andy sat back and listened to the one-sided conversation.
"Hello?"
"I'm about ten minutes away from the apartment."
"Everyone? Willow and Kennedy too?"
"Did they say what it's about?"
"All right, I'll be back in ten…and I've got a newbie with me too."
"Bye."
The Slayer shut off the cell and grinned at her companion.
"Time to go, looks like you're going to get to meet the Scoobie gang sooner than I thought."
Andy followed the blonde and waited until she had paid the bill before asking, "Scoobie gang? As in the really corny cartoon?"
"Hey! They were not completely corny," Buffy protested, which brought a smile to Andy's face. "It's what my friends and I call ourselves – it's something my friend Xander came up with and it sort of stuck. Everyone has kind of scattered the last month and I wasn't expecting anyone back for awhile yet."
Buffy looked serious again, and Andy wondered what it meant but was too nervous to ask her new friend.
Like the blonde said, it only took them ten minutes to reach an apartment building sporting the…um…elegant sign -- Scoobie Hall.
Geez, looks like they take their nickname pretty seriously, Andy thought while looking around nervously. They walked down a long hallway until they reached a large room, which from the looks of it had been created by breaking down a few of the walls. Forty heads turned to look at the newcomers, and Andy shifted beside Buffy – who just grinned at everyone and pulled Andy along with her as she headed to a group huddled near the front of the room.
Seeing Buffy, a redheaded woman squealed and pulled the blonde into a tight hug. She let go to allow a man in his forties, another in his early twenties, and a longhaired girl in her late teens to take their turns hugging the short girl. Buffy managed to detach herself and brought the uncomfortable girl forward.
"This is our new slayer, Andy. Andy, this is my Watcher Giles, my best friends Willow and Xander, and my younger sister Dawn."
Andy mumbled a hello, not sure if she trusted these new people, but willing to at least give them the benefit of the doubt for Buffy. The Slayer looked around and frowned.
"Where's Kennedy and Faith?"
"Ah, yes, they're talking with Melissa – one of the slayers from Cleveland," Giles said, wiping his glasses.
Noticing Buffy asked with concern, "Why? What happened?"
"Something not good, B," Faith said as she and Kennedy walked up to the group. "She's completely lost all her slayer powers."
Buffy frowned, feeling the familiar tug in the back of her mind. Why does this sound familiar?
"What happened?"
"I've spoken with Wood, and he said that Melissa hadn't had contact with any unusual demons. In fact, she'd been off patrol while she studied for tests," Giles said.
"I've tried everything that I could think of – she's no longer a slayer, and I have no idea what's caused it," Willow finished.
Faith turned to the rest of the slayers.
"As I'm sure you've all been listening, a slayer has completely lost her powers. Unfortunately, this hasn't been the only case. We're getting reports that other slayers have been getting weaker, eventually losing all of their slayer powers. As you've also heard, we have no idea what's causing it, so until we do I don't want anyone patrolling alone."
Faith turned and glared at Buffy who just smiled sheepishly.
"And that includes everyone."
The slayers left the room, talking nervously to each other. Just three months ago they found out they were supernatural warriors, and now it looks like they'll be normal again. They weren't sure if they were happy or not. Temporarily forgotten, Andy leaned against the wall and waited while the Scoobies began to discuss the problem.
"Could this be a problem with the slayer line itself?" Dawn asked, looking around at the slayers. She noticed a strange look crossed her sister's face, but it was gone so quickly she wasn't sure if it had been there at all.
"Perhaps the slayer line was never meant to have more than one slayer at anytime?" Giles thought out loud. Willow suddenly looked stricken.
"What if it's my fault, what if I did the spell wrong and now all the slayers are going to lose their powers and it will be my fault and I totally didn't mean to because I wouldn't want that, but I didn't mean to…" Kennedy put her arms around her girlfriend and ordered her to breathe. Willow did as she was told and gave Kennedy a shaky smile.
The Scoobies began to toss ideas back and forth. After thirty minutes, Faith noticed that Buffy hadn't spoken up since the other slayers had left the hall. She looked around to see Buffy sitting against the wall next to the new slayer, listening to the other talk quietly. Faith had noticed that in the last month Buffy had been talking less – not shutting others out, but not the chatterbox she usually was. The dark slayer would walk into a room to find Buffy sitting alone, staring off into space. It would take a few times for Faith to get Buffy's attention, who would smile and say she hadn't heard her.
Buffy noticed Faith looking at her and tried to smile reassuringly. The blonde was suffering a severe case of déjà vu, as if she had heard everything everyone was saying before. But she just couldn't place from where! For some reason, she had gravitated to where Andy was sitting (trying to blend into the wall). A thought popped into Buffy's mind and during a lull in the conversation she spoke out.
"Why don't we ask the First Slayer?" Buffy asked slowly, to the surprise of the others. It was no secret that Buffy didn't like the First Slayer – and would only ask for her help as a last resort.
It didn't take long for Willow to set up the ritual and soon Buffy found herself in the desert once more.
She started walking until she came to the ring of stones around the fire – only this time there was no fire, just a pile of ash. Buffy looked around but the First Slayer was nowhere in sight. She heard a movement from behind and was shocked to see a sixteen years old version of herself.
"Back again so soon?" her younger self asked cheekily. Buffy frowned.
"Huh?"
"The voices call for you." Buffy stilled and watched the girl warily.
"Who are they?"
"The lost…the loose strands."
"I don't understand."
The younger girl didn't answer right away, but walked over to the ashes and grabbing a fistful and spreading the dust across her hands.
"Do you know who you are?"
Buffy groaned.
"Not this cryptic shit again! Why can't you just say what you mean? Do you get paid by the hour or something?" Buffy asked in frustration. The younger Buffy grinned and walked towards the elder.
"How can I give you the right answers, when you don't ask the right questions?"
"Do you know what's happening to the slayer line?"
"That's not the right question," the girl replied, placing a hand on Buffy's cheek – leaving behind a large smudge of ash.
"Then what's the right question?" Buffy asked, keeping still as the girl continued to touch her face. The younger Buffy moved to the side and suddenly Buffy found herself standing in front of a full-length mirror. She stared at her reflection; taking in the ash on her face, and for a moment it seemed that her image…changed. For a moment her blonde hair had turned black, and her eyes had darkened in colour.
Without taking her eyes from the mirror Buffy asked, "Who am I?"
"You are the Last and the First. You are the knots on both ends of the rope."And Buffy remembered.
TBC