Author's Note: I don't want to make this too long, but I just really wanted to say thank you all very much for not only reading my fic, but reviewing for it too. I really do appreciate it and let me tell you, I love you all for your encouragement and support! Now enjoy my update and, please, do review. By the way, don't forget to come back for the next chapter. A lot will be going on in the next chapter. Much excitement and thrills. LOL! Be afraid. Be very afraid. . .LOL! Sorry if this one is too short. The next one I'll try to make longer. I just didn't want to keep you guys waiting anymore.
"Are you coming," Cindy asked. She was on the staircase. Jimmy looked up at her. He followed her up the stairs to her room. It was different from when he last saw it. Actually, he couldn't remember when he last saw it. It was a light shade of pink, which seemed a bit faded, but still colorful enough. The curtains were secured on the sides of the window. The window it self was open an inch. The breeze came into the room. He looked around the room. Her bed was beside the small table which sat beside the window. Her alarm clock sat on it with a picture of her and Libby from fifth grade. Up against the wall was her desk. Her computer was propped on it along with a phone beside it. The computer chair was by the window. On the other side of her room stood her dresser, next to it a full length mirror. Surrounding the edges of the mirror there were more pictures. Of Libby, various other friends in group shots and pictures of her and Nick. Sitting on a swing set in eighth grade. Her and Nick sitting outside of her house. Another picture, painted a small scene with her brother. He had short black hair, like his mother. He was just about Rebecca's age and he was full of life.
"Where did you put all the stuff? The information and pictures I gave you?" he asked, suddenly pulling himself away from the pictures.
She pointed at her desk. "Open the second drawer."
He did so and pulled out the folder he had given her. When he looked up again, Cindy was looking in her closet. She pulled out a poster board. She threw it on the bed. He walked over and tossed the folder on top of the poster.
"Well," Cindy began, "we should begin."
"Do you have any colored pencils, crayons, markers, paints, anything we can use to make this poster board look presentable?" he asked.
"No," she answered. Jimmy shook his head. "But my little brother might have some. I'll just have to go in his room and take the markers he has."
She left the room for a while. Jimmy sat on her bed. It was comfy. He looked around the room one more time. His eyes moved toward the mirror. He looked at the remaining pictures. In one picture Nick kissed her hand as he looked up at her with a sly grin. Jimmy scowled. He looked at another one. This picture had Nick with his arms around Cindy's hips as he kissed her neck. She giggled. Libby was saying "aw" and another friend was flashing her a bright smile.
"We took those pictures last year, during the summer vacation," Cindy explained.
Jimmy looked up. She held a pack of markers in her hands. She held them up and walked toward him. She placed the markers on the floor and took the poster and the folder and placed them on the floor. She sat down beside him and looked at him. "I want to ask you a question," she said.
Jimmy turned away from her. He figured it was something about his father or Rebecca. She had probably heard a part of the conversation between him and her parents. He really wasn't in the mood to talk about anything that involved his father or Rebecca. Talking about it wouldn't make him feel any better about anything. It made him feel worse about things. But he waited for her question. She seemed to be thinking deeply about whatever it was.
"About your dad," she began. "I wanted to ask - "
"Don't," Jimmy interrupted, sternly.
"I just want to know - "
"Don't," Jimmy repeated, turning to face her. "I'm not going to talk about Hugh with anyone anymore, especially not with you. So just forget about it."
He was annoyed with her for being so damn nosey. She couldn't mind her own business, could she? When would she change? She's too damn caught up in her own crap that she can't respect others and their privacy, damn! She stood at that moment, shacking Jimmy of his thoughts. She balled up her hands into small fists and walked over toward her window. She looked over at him as she stood beside her window. He noticed her clothing for the first time. She wore a small, plain blue tank-top and a pair of short, red shorts. He also saw her, in a new light. Her golden hair fell on her shoulders and gleamed in the sun. Hey eyes seemed to sparkle and Jimmy soon found himself fascinated with her. She was beautiful. He hadn't realized it till that very moment. Others had probably noticed at first glimpse.
She didn't seem angry anymore as he looked at her. Her features had softened. She was now looking at him carefully as he stared at her, her angry was replaced with the concern and a sorrow which confused him. He didn't understand where it had come from. He suddenly turned away from her as he scowled. It was pity. She pitied him. That's what that sorrow was. From the corner of his eye he could see Cindy cross her arms over her chest. Not of anger, but in slight frustration.
"I believe you owe me an apology," she said, seriously.
He looked at her again. "For what?" he asked.
"For all those things you said to me," she replied, simply. Her voice gave Jimmy the impression that she was a bit hurt.
"I don't owe you anything," he responded. "It wasn't any of your business and you now that. And you ignored it and went off to tell the school."
"I understand that," she said with a sigh. "But you didn't have to call me out in front of the whole school the way you did!"
He couldn't help but feel sorry for her. He was guilty for humiliating her like that, especially after he had seen her cry and run away from him like that. He had never caused Cindy that much trouble or that much pain before and he didn't feel like himself when he did it. Come to think about it, he didn't feel like himself in years. He wanted to apologize, he really did, but. . .he no longer knew how. He opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. He shook his head. What was he thinking?! Apologize to her! He thought. I can't! I won't! He had to keep his barriers up, he could not afford to put his guard down for her. He just couldn't. He had to stay strong. He had to stay in control. He had to lock away all emotions but anger and frustration. It was for his survival.
He turned away from her unable to look at her for another second. The silence grew. And the tension in the air seemed to thicken between them. Jimmy heard Cindy sigh and then she spoke, "It hurt me. The things you said."
This pierced through his heart like a blade cutting through raw meat. He shut his eyes. He didn't want to hear about the pain he had put her through. He collected himself and took a deep breath without Cindy catching him doing so.
"Is that how you see me? Is that how you really see me?" she asked. She was looking at him, but he was not looking at her.
Jimmy took a deep breath. He didn't answer her. He wasn't sure of what to say. How could he possibly answer her question when he was confused about how he saw her? He furious that day. That, he knew. Maybe he had just said those things because he was furious. People did it all the time, they said things that they didn't mean in the heat of an argument. Keep your guard up, he reminded himself. He had to say yes. Otherwise he'd be letting his guard down and really had no intention of that. He looked back up at her and their eyes met one another. He was suddenly taken aback by this sudden eye contact. He blinked as he shook his head slightly. His mind was playing tricks on him. He had thought that he had seen an emotion, so rare to him, but only for a split second.
Her tears began to brim at the lids of her eyes. They threatened to free themselves and sail down her face. But she held them back just as much as she tried to hold her emotions back. Jimmy could see this. Cindy watched him carefully. She searched for her answer in his eyes, the doorway to anyone and everyone's heart and soul. Soon almost as if she could sense Jimmy's feelings and his guilt she walked toward him. I don't want to hurt you anymore, he thought silently. Please, don't let me hurt you.
"Jimmy," she whispered, her tears escaping. "You didn't mean it did you?"
He was a bit surprised. She used his first name and not his last. Something she rarely ever did and Jimmy couldn't remember the last time she had done so. But he pushed the thoughts away as he concentrated and desperately tried his best not to give away anything, but maybe he did because Cindy continued to walk his way. He looked at her then. Things seemed to be going in slow motion for him. Somehow, someway, Cindy ended up in his lap. Her legs on either side of his body. She stood on her knees as she wrapped her arms around his neck. Her lips softly touched his before she applied a slight pressure. But it was as if Jimmy couldn't quit grasp this. His brain was working slowly. His lips barely kept up with hers as he tried to take this all in. He had no real clue on how or why this was happening, but it was and he couldn't escape that.
On instinct his arms took a hold of her hips, but his mind was still trying to figure things out. His lips tried to keep up with her's but due to his confusion and his brain at the moment, he couldn't. When he finally realized what was going on, he fought himself to pull away from her. He held onto her hips for dear life as if they were a life saver, bringing him in from the hungry sea.
He finally managed to pull away. His eyes looked away from her immediately after. Her swung to the side and she landed on her bed. He hurriedly got up and walked toward the door. His heart was pounding in his chest and he couldn't believe what had just happened. It was almost like a dream, one he wanted to sleep through, but one he knew he had to awaken from. He opened the door and stumbled out into the hall. He rushed down the stairs as Cindy's voiced called for him. He wanted to run back and pick up where they had left off, but fought against it. His whole body shivered at the very thought of it, but he ignored it. He wasn't going to think with his priceless "family jewels". He was going to think with his brain. Cindy probably had now idea what she was doing either. Although, it seemed like she did, he thought.
As he opened the door, Cindy's parents appeared. He almost ran into them. They had all been startled. Cindy's little brother soon appeared.
"Hey, Jimmy!" he exclaimed.
"Hello, Jimmy," Cindy's parents greeted.
Jimmy offered them nothing but a simply, quick smile as their greeting. "I have to go," he said, hurriedly as he rushed out the door, practically running to his house. He opened the front door to his house and rushed to his room. He slammed his door and leaned on it from the inside. He put a hand to his forehead. His head had just suddenly begun to hurt. He rubbed his temples to ease the sudden pain. To get Cindy out of his mind he thought of Rebecca. She was suppose to be back home. She was suppose to be back on Saturday and it was already Monday, but his aunt Meryl lengthened her "visit." He wondered when she'd return. She looked so upset being there.
"Bark, bark!" came the mechanical bark from Goddard as he scrapped the door with his metal paw. Jimmy opened the door for him. He smiled. Goddard pounced on him and licked him happily. The dog then took one step back as the screen popped out. "How was your time spent?" Jimmy almost blushed at the question.
"It was a project, Goddard," he replied as he stood up.
"Did you finish?"
Jimmy thought back to Cindy's arms around his neck. Her lips on his, and how he had tossed her aside. He then looked down at Goddard. "No," he answered. "It was because of me."
* * * * *
At school the next day, Jimmy felt as if everyone knew about the day before. He was planning on avoiding Cindy. He really didn't want to see her or talk to her and he looked every-which-way, keeping an eye out for her. He was a mess. He was just paranoid.
"Jimmy?"
He jumped slightly as he turned. He back away into his locker. He was thankful that no one else was in the hall. It was Libby. He turned away from her as he took out a notebook from his locker and shoved in his book bag.
"Can I talk to you?"
He froze. She knows, for the love of Albert Einstein! She knows! He thought.
"I just really wanna to talk to you," she said. "I know you're still mad about what I said last week. Next time Cindy says something about you, I'll tell her you're not as bad as she thinks."
"Huh?" Jimmy said. She didn't know. She really didn't know! He could've hugged her at that moment, but he kept a straight face and nodded.
"What is that suppose to mean? 'Yes, it's ok, I forgive you' or 'yes, I'm still mad at you'?" she asked.
"Yeah, I forgive you," he replied, a bit hurriedly.
Libby's face brightened. Jimmy looked about. Searching for Cindy. If Libby was around, it meant that Cindy wasn't too far behind. Libby looked at Jimmy quizzically. "Who are you looking for?" Jimmy looked at her, suddenly remembering she was there. She crossed her arms over her chest with a mock quizzical expression. She waited with a knowing smile. Jimmy shook his head as he turned back to his locker. "Sure," she said, not believing him. "See you later then." She walked away as she hummed and bobbed her head to a song which she could only hear.
Jimmy watched her walk away as he sighed. He pulled out a textbook from his locker and was about to place it in his book bag, but another voice startled him.
"Jimmy?" He whirled around, dropping the textbook. It fell with a loud thump which echoed through the hall. This time it was Cindy. His heart skipped a beat. He was acting ridiculously, but he couldn't help it. He turned away from her, he didn't answer her. "Last night - "
"Was a mistake," Jimmy interrupted.
"It happened for a reason," she said.
He didn't reply and she paused.
"Are you ashamed?" she asked.
Still no reply.
"Talk to me?! I know you felt something last night because I felt it!"
"You felt nothing!" he argued as he turned to her. "It was a simple mistake! It could've happened to anyone who you were with!" He turned away from her. She took in a deep breath. Jimmy could sense that she was holding back her anger and the need to argue back. She was being. . .patient with him. Or she was trying to be.
"Jimmy, I know you felt something. You held onto my hips for dear life! I knew you were holding back! Now why would you try to hold back, if you didn't feel anything?!"
Jimmy stopped and things became quiet between them as Cindy's voice echoed through the hall.
Not long after, Jimmy slammed his locker shut. The lock flew up and hit the locker as it settled back in place. Without looking at her he said, "I felt nothing. It was a mistake. A simple mistake which you shouldn't take too far. You shouldn't take it far at all. It was nothing." He zipped up his book bag and placed in on his shoulders. And then he did one of the hardest things he had ever had to do. . . he walked away from her. An ache knotted in his stomach. He wanted to just hold her and kiss her, be all lovey dovey with her and tell her that he had indeed felt something, but how could he? After everything he went through, he wasn't sure if he could ever really show her or actually be that way with her. It was hard for him to show that level of affection. It was different with his sister because unlike Cindy, Rebecca knew and understood him. He got along well with her and he felt safe, actually safe saying he loved her to death! Rebecca was there from the beginning when Hugh left. She had been the beginning when Hugh left and that was why Jimmy was the way that he was with her and with everyone else.