There's Something About Samos
A touching moment between father and daughter (punctuated by a few naughty ottsel remarks) on how an "old log head" managed to have such a pretty daughter...
—
It was another beautifully sunny day in the perpetual springtime of Sandover village, and Jak and Daxter were spending it inside Samos's hut, cleaning up the latest mess they had made when Jak had tripped over Daxter's tail and crashed into a rack of potted plants.
Jak was patiently sweeping up the debris while Daxter sat on his shoulder ranting as usual.
"Geeze! What does Old Greenie think we are? A personal maid service? If I had a Precursor Orb for every day we spent cleaning up his junk, I'd be playing Hero Mode right now!"
Jak looked quizzically at his furry friend as Keira entered the room.
"Hey guys, how's it going?" she asked cheerfully, looking around.
"Well hello there, sweet cheeks," Daxter said, sliding off Jak's arm and posing in front of Keira.
"How about a ride on the Orange Lightning Express?" Daxter waggled his eyebrows at her.
"DAXTER!!" Samos bellowed from another room. "Stop flirting with my daughter and finish cleaning my lab!"
"Aw, shut your trap, Log Head!" Daxter waved him off. A bolt of green Eco appeared over Daxter's head and shocked him, singing his fur black and making him smell like roasted squirrel.
"Sheesh," Daxter coughed as he peeled himself off of the floor. "Isn't green Eco supposed to healing, not hurting?"
Jak smiled wryly at his friend while Keira regarded the ottsel crossly.
"You know, maybe you wouldn't get zapped so often if you would just behave yourself for once."
"Hey Keira," Daxter's five second attention span abruptly switched directions again. "How much make up do you have to wear to hide your green face?"
"WHAT?!" Keira's scratchy voice screeched. Jak and Daxter both winced.
"I do NOT have a 'green face!' Where did you get such a crazy idea?"
"I dunno," Daxter said, trying to fast talk his way out of this situation as Jak gave him a look that said, "Now you've done it!"
"Yeah, you're right– I can't really see the old windbag hooking up with anyone, anyway..." Daxter said thoughtfully.
"Are you calling me illegitimate?!" Keira nearly lunged at the mouthy ottsel.
"Waah!" Daxter cried, hiding behind Jak. "It was Jak's idea!"
Jak looked back and forth between the two, desperately not wanting to get into the middle of it. Keira had already directed her anger at him, however.
"Is that so, Jak? And what do you think? Did I just sprout out of one of Daddy's plants or something?"
Jak gulped and looked for a window to jump out of. Daxter, however, leapt to his defense.
"Hey, it's not his fault that he thinks you're a babe. We're just saying that you don't resemble your father... erm, at all."
"It's true, Keira..." Samos appeared at the doorway looking slightly sad. Keira looked bewildered.
"What do you mean, Daddy? That I'm not your daughter?"
"Oh, well, I wouldn't say that..." the old sage went on. He walked across the lab and stood in front of one of his large, toothy plants.
"As these two stooges so aptly pointed out," he paused to cast a scathing glance at Jak and Daxter, the latter who hid behind Jak's shoulder again. "You thankfully don't look a thing like me. However, that does not mean that you aren't still the product of my loving care."
Samos pulled an old photo album out from one of the book cases and motioned to the others to take a look.
"See here," Samos pointed to a picture of a very large water lily that hadn't yet bloomed. "I suppose you could call that your mother."
Daxter's eyes were as large as saucers as he gaped at Samos. "You mean you got it on with a plant?! And you call me desperate!"
Samos clubbed Daxter over the head with his staff. "No, you miserably mouthy mammal! But I did culture and care for this 'Life Seed,' pouring all my heart and soul into it. When it finally bloomed, there was a beautiful baby girl..."
"Oh Daddy," Keira began, tears welling up in her eyes.
"Wait wait wait a minute," Daxter interrupted yet again. "Hold the phone, toots. You still have a belly button. Where'd THAT come from, pray tell?" Daxter was clearly getting frustrated. "AND HOW COME YOU DON'T LOOK LIKE A PLANT?!"
Jak gasped as Daxter swooned from information overload and Samos looked on irritably.
"Well, I guess some things just can't be explained, now can they?" the old sage glared at the little ottsel as he woozily tried to stand again.
"Like, why did you get transformed into a little orange menace after contact with Dark Eco when Jak here takes it like steroids?"
16 year old untainted Jak blinked, very confused.
"Oh, never mind," Samos said irritably. He directed his attention at his stunned daughter again.
"My dear, no matter how you came to be, please know that your dear old dad loves you more than all the ferns in Precursor Basin, and that you are more pure than the snow on the mountains above Rock Village."
Daxter nudged Jak in the ribs. "Hey buddy, you takin' notes? These are some great pick-up lines."
"You're the only parent I'll ever need, Daddy," Keira said, eyes brimming with tears as she leaned over to hug her father.
"So, uh, Keira," Daxter smoothed back his fur and tried to look sultry. "If you ever need to be 'pollinated,' I'm your ottsel..."
"DAXTER!!"
—
A/N: Heehee, don't take this too seriously. I just wrote it just so that I could use that second to last line–"So Keira, do you need to be, uh, 'pollinated?'" Except in my mind it was older Jak who said it...
Anyway, this was just a short snippet inspired by my friends who worked at Holden's breeding corn. ;)
-P