To Err is Human
By Todd Fan
Disclaimer: "See? That is why women have the babies. Men can't take the paaai..."
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Chapter 25 - The Stork has landed.
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A rather panicked car drive later, and the group had made it to the hospital. As Hank pushed Ororo's wheelchair through the room, Xavier wheeled over to the receptionist.
"Hello", he said, "I'm Professor Charles Xavier, I'm bringing in Mrs Munroe, we called from the car"
The receptionist looked up at the group. Two seemingly normal people accompanied by a very large blue hairy man, a teenager covered in spikes, a teenager that was yellow and black and....a five inch man?
"Oh......yes", said the receptionist, "I have a room for you"
She blinked at the group again before gesturing for a porter to take Storm away.
"So, which one of you is the...father?"
Everyone coughed.
"Well, he's...errr..getting here", said Hank, "it's not any of us, honest. None of us are brave enough to cope with that woman".
"Well, you can't leave her all alone", said the receptionist, "but I can only let one person acompany her until her husband arrives".
"Dibs not me!", said Hank, Shortpack, Evan and Warlock in unison.
Xavier gave a defeated sigh.
"I guess that would be me, then", he said, wheeling after the porter.
"God-speed, Charles", said Hank, "we shall remember you fondly".
Shut up, Henry
Hank chuckled, before glancing at the receptionist.
"Hey, here's a question", he said, "does this hospital happen to be protected against freak and violent weather conditions?"
The receptionist looked at him blankly.
"Okay...just checking", said Hank with a cough, sitting down.
----
Meanwhile, in the institute, Danielle put down the phone.
"Well, I managed to get in touch with Forge, he's heading to the hospital now", she said, "but New York is still snowed in with blizards".
"Gee, I hope he makes it in time", said Kitty, frowning.
"Yeah, his life von't be vorth living if Storm goes though this vithout him", chuckled Kurt.
Kitty swatted at him.
"No!", she said, "It'll be awful if he misses the birth of his first child...and your thing"
Logan sighed, shaking his head. Great, he'd been stuck with babysitting, wonderfull. And no beers either!.
"Stop fightin'", he said, "go amuse yourselves with..."
He paused as the phone rang. Kurt beat everyone to it, picking it up.
"Hello?", he blinked, before handing the phone to Kitty, "eet's for you".
Kitty looked at him curiously, before taking the phone.
"Hello?", she said, then blinked, "Ororo?"
She frowned, listening for a moment.
"Ororo....I really can't come over to the hospital and phase the baby out of you", she said, then blinked at the phone, "no, it won't change my mind if you pay me"
She sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose.
"No, getting Forge to make me a car to drive recklessly to my hearts content won't change my mind either", she said, then blinked, "hey, I'm not a bad driver!!. I'm not doing it, NO!...Oh..hello Professor. Yes...okay"
She put down the phone, giving the others a small smile.
"Storm is getting uncomfortable".
------
That was an understatement. Storm gave Xavier a glare from her bed as he put the phone down.
"I nearly had her help", she said, "do you WANT me to be in pain? HUH? HUH?!!!"
Xavier sighed.
"Ororo, none of us want you to be in pain", he said, giving her a smile, "but I'm afraid you can't use outside forces to have your baby...it really wouldn't work"
Storm sulked, crossing her arms.
"Yah, well you'd try for 'outside forces' too if YOU were in labor"
"No doubt", said Xavier dryly, "oh, we have got in touch with Forge, he is on his way".
"He'd BETTER be", said Storm, then gave a sniffle, "I don't want to do this by myself!"
Xavier sighed, patting her hand.
"Ororo, relax, you're not alone", he said gently, "I'm here, and so are everyone in the in the waiting room. Forge will get here in time, you'll see".
Storm sniffed giving her a nod, before smiling.
"Thank you for coming in to sit with me".
"You don't have to thank me, Ororo", chuckled Xavier, waving a hand.
"No, I mean it", said Storm, "you've always looked after me, even when I was a thieving-bad-tempered teenager"
Xavier decided not to mention that the only thing had changed was the 'teenager' part. Storm winced, concentrating on her breathing for a contraction before smiling back at him.
"You've been the closest thing to a father I've had since my own died", she said, "heck, you gave me away at my wedding. I just...wanted to say thank you"
"And you chose to say so while giving birth", chuckled Xavier before smiling, "you're welcome Ororo".
Storm nodded.
"Actually, there was something that Forge and I wanted to ask you", she said, "I was going to wait until he got here, but, hey, he snoozes, he loses"
"I really don't think Forge is 'snoozing'", pointed out Xavier, before sighing, "what do you want to ask?".
Storm smiled, patting her belly.
"Well...both my father and Forge's father aren't alive", she said, "so..we..Forge and I, that is, we were wondering if you would be our daughters godfather?".
Xavier blinked in suprise.
"You...you want ME to be her godfather?"
Storm nodded.
"We couldn't think of anyone we thought deserved it more...or could do a better job of it".
Xavier blinked, taking this in, before smiling.
"It would be an honour, Ororo".
-----
Meanwhile, in the waiting room, everyone was starting to get bored.
"The mircacle of birth sure is a snoozefest", said Evan shifting on his chair, trying to pull a spike free from the cushion it had impaled itself on. (1)
"Does it take all Earthling people this long to produce offspring?", asked Warlock.
"Mostly, yes", said Hank, "how long does it take on your planet?"
"It is instantaneous", said Warlock, "we reproduce by...."
"I'm taking a walk", said Shortpack, "before he goes into detail".
"Shortpack, it might be difficult to find you again in all this crowd...", started Hank, looking though his coat pocket.
"No", said Shortpack stubbornly, "no, no, no. I am NOT wearing that thing!"
"Do you want to get trodden on?", snapped Hank.
Shortpack gave a defeated sigh.
"No"
"Good", said Hank, fishing out a little hat...with a very long pole on the top, a little red flag settled on top. (2)
Hank grinned, strapping it onto the minature mutants head.
"There you go, Shorty!"
"Stupid hat", muttered Shortpack, walking off, "gets stuck in doors"
He carried on muttering as he weaved his way through the crowds, people squeaking in surpise as the flag brushed past them.
"A RAT!", squealed one woman.
"Since when did 'rats' wear clothes and talk?!", Shortpack shouted up to her, before squeaking as she tried to stamp on him, "run away, run away!!!!"
And run he did, until he found a room to duck into, the woman giving up chase, heading to reception to tell them about their 'rat' problem. Shortpack sighed, glancing around his new surroundings....that was until he was picked up.
"Coooool", said a boy, one arm in a sling, "a new toy!"
"I'm not a toy!", said Shortpack, trying to squirm free, "really, I'm not!"
"Wow", said a girl from where she was sitting in bed, "he talks too, just like Small Soldiers!" (3)
Please put me down, Shortpack sent into the boys head, causing him to squeak, putting Shortpack on the table.
"He spoke in my head!"
"Cooooooool", said the kids in the room.
Shortpack groaned, he was in the childrens ward.
"What do you think he is?", said one boy, his leg in a cast, "he looks like a pixie".
"I'm not a...", started Shortpack.
"Huh uh!", said the girl, "he's Tomb Thumb"
"No way!", said the boy in a sling, "he's the Toothfairy"
"The Toothfairy's a girl, stupid!".
"It could be a boy Toothfairy!"
"I think he's a Borrower", spoke up a little girl of about seven, a ventiltor near her.
The other kids blinked at her.
"A Borrower?", replied the boy with a sling incredulously
"Yep", said the little girl, opening the book she was reading, "Borrowers are little people that live in our homes. They 'borrow' our things and use them for stuff, like chairs and tables and slides. They try not to be seen by ' human beans'...that's us" (4)
She smiled slightly at Shortpack.
"Is that what you are, Mister?", she said hopefully, "'cause we won't tell no-one, we promise".
Shortpack opened his mouth before giving a defeated sigh as the kids smiled hopefully at him.
"Yeah, you got me, I'm a Borrower", he said, "the name's Shortpack"
"The rarest, most valuable action figure in a series!", grinned the boy with his leg in a cast, "I collect them" (5)
Shortpack smiled. Most people didn't actually get his codename unless he told it to them. Well, he was safer here than anywhere else, and the kids didn't seem to want to hurt him.
"Yep, that's right", he said sitting down on the table, "so, what are you guys in for?"
----
"Mrs Munroe...you can not bribe the faculty to make the birthing process any faster"
"DAMNIT!"
It had been few hours now, and Storm was getting VERY uncomfortable. She'd tried to slip her nurse twenty dollars to end her suffering...it hadn't worked.
"My midwife won't stop singing 'My Old Man's a Dustman!!'", said Storm with a growl, "I want to kill him"
"Oh...yes", winced the the nurse, "Barry is odd like that, I'm sorry".
"Odd doesn't even touch it", muttered Storm.
"Oh", said Xavier, putting his hand to his temple, "Forge has just arrived, I'll go...talk to him".
"Yeah, you talk to him, tell him he's dead, DEAD!", she growled.
Xavier sighed, wheeling out of the room, arching a brow as Forge ran into the corridor, panting.
"You made it", smiled Xavier.
"Big..traffic...snow", panted Forge, taking a breath, "I'm not late am I?"
"No, you're okay", chuckled Xavier.
"How is she?"
"Oh...she's fine", said Xavier, "getting a little uncomfortable and cranky, but..."
"I HATE YOU, FORGE, I HOPE YOU ROT IN HELL, YOU CRAPPY PIECE OF POND SCUM!!!", came Storm's voice from the room.
"And I LOVE you!", Forge called back cheerilly, being answered by a rumble of thunder, causing Forge to wince, "I have to go in there now, don't I?"
"In a word, yes", said Xavier happily pushing the man into the room, "have fun!"
Forge glared at the closing door, before smiling sheepishly at Storm.
"Hi, Honey, I'm here"
Storm GLARED at Forge.
"You", she said, her voice dripping in venom, "don't you think you've done enough?. Are you satisfied now, huh?!!".
".....Nice to see you, too, Dear", tried Forge, walking over to her, only to have Storm give him a hard smack upside the head, "OWWW! What was that for?"
"For being late!", snapped Storm, "you know how painfull this is? You are sleeping on the couch for the rest of your life, Mr Munroe!".
"I'm....sorry?", tried Forge.
"You SHOULD be", said Storm, before glaring at her stomach, "Okay, little lady he's here, so you can get out, GET OUT NOW!!!".
"Honey, i don't think yelling at the baby will make labour come any faster".
"What do you know?. Do YOU have a uterus?!!".
Forge blinked.
"No...no I don't", he said, "...I doubt you would be in this mess now if I did have one and...I'm going to stop talking now"
Storm narrowed her eyes at him, before giving a squeak of pain, grabbing his hand. Forge winced, but didn't have the courage to yank it away.
"Oww", said Forge, wincing, "Sweetheart, can I remind you that I only have one hand.....and you're kinda crushing it to pulp"
"You want to trade places?"
Forge thought on this.
"...Squease away"
Barry the midwife came prancing in, singing the 'tigers head' line, checking on Storm. (6)
"Oh, yey for you!", he said, clapping his hands happily, "we're ready. Ooooh, how nice for your baby, she'll have her birthday on New Years day!".
He blinked at Forge.
"You're not bald and in a wheelchair", he said, arching a brow, "you've got a cute butt, though!"
Forge's eyes widened slightly, looking at Storm in fear.
"This is my husband", she said.
"Oh, taken? Darn!", said Barry snapping his fingers, "the cute ones always go first! Okay, off to deliverly!"
He pranced off to get an orderly, who started to move Storm's bed away.
"....Did our midwife just come on to me?", said Forge, blinking.
"Worry about it all you like, I'm going to have a baby now", said Storm.
"Oh...sorry, coming", coughed Forge, running after her.
-----
"And that's how I tamed a big alley cat".
"Ooooooooh"
Shortpack was having a great time in the childrens ward. After a long time of being there, he'd learned a brand new thing about himself. Kids loved him. Then again, kids loved anything weird and, well, he WAS unusual.
"Tell it again, Mr Shortpack", said the youngest girl.
"Well", started Shortpack, only to be interupted by Hank bursting in.
"Wow, it's the Cookie Monster!", said the little girl in awe.
"Nuh uh!", said sling-boy, "it's Sully!"
"It's Magilla Gorilla!"
"Magilla Gorilla isn't blue, stupid!"
"He could have been covered in paint!"
Hank sighed, shaking his head.
"Why I don't make extra cash from doing childrens parties is beyond me", he muttered, before looking at Shortpack, "we have to go, 'Pack, Ororo's had her baby. We can go see her".
"Well, Kids, have to go now", said Shortpack.
"Awwwwww", said the kids, pouting.
"I'll come visit you, I promise!", said Shortpack, "I'll tell you about the time I flew around New York in a model biplane"
"Cooooooooool!", said the kids as Shortpack and Hank left.
"Are you going to tell me what that was all about?", smirked Hank, picking Shortpack up , putting him on his shoulder.
"No, and you're not going to speak about it to anyone", said Shortpack, or you'll be sorry.
Hnak shuddered at the telepathic warning, walking into Storm's room, where Xavier, Evan and Warlock were already gathered with the happy couple. Snuggled warm in a blanket in Ororo's arms was a baby. She blinked her blue eyes, already stunningly like her mothers, as if still a little confused about how on earth she got here with all these strange people. She already had a little bit of raven black hair.
"She's so tiny and small!", said Hank in a high voice, then cleared his throat, "I'm sorry, I don't know where that came from".
"Oh man, she is WAY too cute to be legal", said Evan, looking around, "where are the baby police to take her away?"
"Baby police?", said Warlock, a little worried, "you have a police to take away offpsring that are too attractive?"
"No, Warlock", sighed Storm, shaking her head, "we don't. Besides, they wouldn't get five feet without having a lighting bolt shoved where the sun don't shine"
Xavier chuckled.
"So...what are you going call her?"
"Well, we thought long and hard about this", said Forge, "and considering we're from different backgrounds, we decided to give her an Sawhili first name and a Cheyenne middle name"
"How'd you decide the order?", asked Hank
"Paper, Rock, Scissors", replied the couple in unison.
"All righty then", said Shortpack, blinking, "only you two could chose the fate of your offsprings entire life by a playground game"
Ororo glared at him in the way only a sleep-depraved woman who had just been through labour could ever pull off before clearing her throat.
"Everybody", she said, "i'd like you to meet Imara Meso'ke Munroe". (7)
"Hello, Imara", said Evan, "I'm your cousin".
"And I am your elder male sibling...sort of", said Warlock, peering over at her, blinking, "...she does not do much, does she?"
"No...this is pretty much it", said Forge with a chuckle, kissing the top of her head.
"I'd better call the Institute", said Hank, "no doubt, they want to know how it's gone"
As he left, Storm smiled at Forge, resting her head on his shoulder.
"I'm sorry I've been so mean to you these last nine months"
"That's okay", said Forge, giving her a kiss, "you've been having a baby, you have a right to be moody".
Storm smiled.
"I think Imara needs to meet her godfather", she said.
Forge chuckled, nodding, taking Imara carefully from Storm, palcing her in Xavier's arms.
"Hello, little one", said Xavier smiling at her.
Imara blinked at him, before yawning. Xavier chuckled.
"I think she's tired".
"That makes two of us", said Storm with a sigh.
"I'll let you get settled", said Xavier, "I'll let Logan know he can come up, he's been worried, you know"
"Logan? Worried?", said Forge arching a brow as he took his daughter back from Xavier.
"Oh yes", said Xavier, tapping his head, "though he would never admit to it, of course"
------------
"Oh, there you are"
Forge glanced up from where his head had been pressed against the glass, looking at the babies in the room. Half an hour later, and Xavier had been right, Logan had arrived. The 'rough and mean' Candaian looked very strange with a pink, smiling teady bear tucked under his arm. Forge gave him a tired-but-happy smile, deciding laughing at him would probably result in pain.
"Oh, hey", he said.
"How's Ororo doing?"
"She's sleeping", said Forge with a chuckle, "she needs it".
Logan nodded, looking through the glass.
"Which one's Imara?"
"Right there", said Forge pointing out her crib, "it's hard to beleive she's all one little person".
He gave a sniffle.
"Man", he said, "I'm more emotional that Ororo".
"Well, considering you're more sleep deprived than she is, had to travel though New York city in a blizard to get here and just became a father...I can't really blame you", said Logan, "you considering sleep at all?"
Forge shook his head.
"Nope", he said, "I'm not tired, besides, I don't want to leave her, she's just so small and cute"
"She's beautifull alright", said Logan, "with tiny little fingers and toes"
He sinffled.
"My Gods, it's contagious!!!!", he said, "I'm gonna have to go do soemthing real manly after this like...drink a beer or...kill somethin'".
He paused.
"Right after I look at this adorbable little baby some more", he said, cooing through the glass.
Logan....you're scaring me", said Forge, backing away.
"I can't help it!", said Logan, "she is a VERY cute baby"
"Yeah", said Forge, "she's got 'Ro's looks, lucky kid".
"She has your hair..I bet she's got your cynical attitude too!!".
".....Thanks", said Forge dryly, before smiling, "I still can't believe she's half me"
Logan smiled, before chuckling.
"Somethin' tells me the mansion is never gonna be the same again".
----
1 - A fun Phoebeism from TOW Rachel has a baby
2 - This is from a crappy cartoon my brother watches about twins. There is a little guy in there who has such a flag. What a nifty-keen device, I wish they made them for real, try ignoring us little people then, bwahahahahaha!...But you can see the humiliating side of it.
3 - Anyone seen this film? It truely is vicious for a kids movie 0.o
4 - The Borrower series were some of my favorite books as a kid, written by Mary Norton. Incidentally, I thought the movie adaptation was terrible, BBC did a good TV-series adaptaion that was alot more faithfull to the books. I'll be quiet now..
5 - Yes, this is true, and the reasoning behind Shortpacks codename, he explains it in Mystique #4
6 - Imagine Jack from Will and Grace, only qualified in midwifery...scary, isn't it?
7 Imara (Ee-mah-rah) is Swahili for 'Steadfast' and 'Strong'. Meso'ke (Meh-soak) is Cheyenne for 'Swallow', which I got from a book called 'One thousand white women', which moved me to tears. Yes, I did take a looong time to pick the right name, she went through about twenty before I finally settled on one.
And there you go, one baby, delivered and done. But this is not the end of this chronicle, heck no, we have lots and lots more chapters yet. Bwahaha! Do review. Until next time....