Another chapter!...............warning: seriously depressing.....I got depressed writing it.
Lost the baby. My fault. She lost the baby. All my fault.
These words echoed through kanes mind, non stop.
He'd sat back, not protesting when matt had said he wanted to see her first. Truthfully, he'd thought about quietly walking away, about leaving, not looking back, allowing her, her freedom, but something inside of him wouldn't allow him to do that. So instead he sat, nearly two hours, letting the Hardys and Trish see her first,
He had always admired Lita's strong will, her stubborness, her determination, her sense of loyalty, even her courage, after all, those where the reasons he chose her.
But when he had finally walked into that room to see her, he barely recognized her. She looked so small, so frail, so....weak. She looked as though she had lost her will, and that weighed heavily on his conscience. He knew he had taken everything good in her life away, and now, he'd even robbed their child of life. For that, he knew he'd never forgive himself.
Even when her eyes focused on him, it was as though she was looking through him, past him, as though he wasn't there. She was so lost in her own grief, that he could hardly bear it.
"I'm sorry." he managed to say.
"For?" she asked, in a voice that was lifeless
"It's my fault. You lost the baby, because of me." he said in a defeated tone.
"It was an accident."
As much as he wanted to, he couldn't accept that, he knew deep inside, this entire thing was his fault. He knew there was only one way to even try to make some of what he had taken from her up.. That was to give her back her freedom.
" If you want, We can get a divorce." he said in a low tone. "I'll leave you alone"
She sat quietly for several minutes, before speaking. "I cant deal with this right now." she said. "I just can't, not right now."
Wordlessly, he nodded, then stood to leave. He cast one more glance over his shoulder, before stepping outside. He walked in the direction of the waiting room, and saw The Hardys and Trish still sitting there. He saw the hateful eyes of Matt fall on him, the gazes filled with sorrow, contempt, and pity, from Trish and Jeff. he knew he couldn't sit here with them, any longer, not with all the pain he'd caused their dear friend. He did the only thing he could do.
He walked straight past them, towards the elvators, and left the hospital, knowing he could never make any of this right, for any of them.
Lost the baby. My fault. I lost the baby. All my fault.
Those words echoed through her head. She couldn't help but blame herself. She had known the risk she'd taken when she stepped into that ring. She knew what she had done. She had robbed her child of it's life. For that, she could never forgive herself.
She had no idea, but her thought mirrored those of her husband, Kanes exactly.
When he'd come into her room, she looked at him, he looked, so different, so lost, so defeated, both qualities were ones she had never associated with Kane. She had always seen him as stong, forceful, and yes, terrifiying. But that wasn't the Kane that had come into the room. No, the Kane that entered this room, shocked her to the core, with his quiet words.
"Im sorry." and "We can get a divorce"
Truthfully, that was the one thing that even a few hours ago, she would have been happy to hear come out of his mouth. But now, she couldn't feel anything, she couldn't even feel contempt for the man that had forced her into marriage. The man who had intimidated her into sex, leading to pregnancy. She felt.......nothing. And that scared her.
Even when Matt had come in, she coudn't bring herself to even speak, she just cried into his shoulder, and he'd simply held her.
Jeff and Trish had come in together, they had simply sat in silence, each offering a hand to hold, silently sending their love and support to her.
And yet, she still had felt nothing.
And she wondered if she ever would again.
Matt paced the small waiting room, Jeff had fallen asleep sometime during the night, Trish had nodded off even before that. Thoughts raced through Matt's head. This can't be happening. Its all Kanes fault. She lost the baby.
He'd been the first to go in and see her. What he saw when he entered the room, broke his heart. The woman lying in the bed, was so pale, withdrawn, weak, her eyes bleak, her face set in grief.
He simply walked to her and held her, allowing her to cry her grief out on his shoulder, no words exchanged, he silently offered all he could. Knowing he couldn't take the pain away. And wishing with everything he had that he could. When he had finally left the room, he walked into the waiting room, not even casting a glance at his brother, or Trish. He simply sat in a chair, and closed his eyes, the vision of Lita haunting him.
Trish opened her eyes to see Jeff sitting across the room with his brother, neither speaking, both with saddened expressions. Vaguely she wondered how long they'd sat like this. The pain she saw in Jeff's eyes, made her want to comfort him, everything of the past aside, she wanted to erase the misery in his eyes.
In the end she knew there was nothing she could do, to ease the pain, so she settled for what she could do. Silently she walked to him, and wrapped her arms around him in a tight hug.
"I love you Jeff. I love you so much." she whispered into his ear.
sigh as alway thanx for reading, and please review. It'll probably be a few days at least beofore I update again, I gotta get out of this mood, or all the chapters I write will be seriously depressing.