To Err is Human
By Todd Fan
Disclaimer: "Not the Mama, Not the Mama".
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Wow, we're drawing closer to the end of this Chronicle now. With only two chapters left, not including this one. I already have the rough plot for the next chronicle, it won't be out for a few months yet, but still...
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Chapter 31 - Kurtinator
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Four months had passed since the Hellfire last showed up. Lizzie had finally healed, returning with Lucas to Dark Hollow. Despite an extensive search, Bobby could not be found. He hadn't been using his powers, so Cerebro couldn't pick him up. Xavier finally gave up, deciding to allow Bobby the time he so apparantely needed to think things over, and just hoped he'd return...when he was ready. Besides, he had the problem of the Hellfire to deal with. Tessa had been helping him go through the various possible places Shaw could be hiding..so far having no luck.
Hank had left the institute for a couple of days, taking Toby to visit his grandparents. Xavier really hoped Norton and Edna would take it well, especially considering Hank has decided to make it a 'suprise'. Logan had been taking bets on which of the McCoys would have a heart attack first. Because of this, Storm had taken over some of Hank's classes...and with Forge called in at Stark Industries, it meant someone had to babysit Imara....
"Where is the baby?"
Imara blinked puzzledly at Piotr. She was perched on the huge mutants knee, as he covered up his eyes.
"THERE she is!", said Piotr moving his hands, holding them up by the babys head. (1)
Imara blinked again, apparently unfazed by his huge hands.
"A'h don't think it's working", said Rogue, then frowned, "Ah'll get her some food. It always cheers Kurt up"
"HEY!", said Kurt, looking up, "I'm not some big glutton, you know"
"No, you're a little, furry glutton", smirked Rogue, ruffling Kurt's hair as she walked past him.
"ACK!!!", said Kurt, trying to fix his hair again, "vhy do sisters do that?!!"
"Illyana can not do that", pointed out Piotr, as he put Imara in her high chair, "she cannot reach".
"Humph", humphed Kurt, then cleared his throat, "vhile we're on the subject of sisters, I vanted to talk to you"
Piotr blinked, turning to look at Kurt.
"About...sisters?", he tried, slightly confused.
"Ja", said Kurt, "more specifically, MY sister"
"Rogue?", said Piotr, then frowned, "why, is there something wrong?"
"No, no, nothing wrong", said Kurt, before putting a serious face on, clearing his throat, "about you and Rogue"
"Oh?"
"Look, I think it's great she can actually touch someone at last", said Kurt, "she deserves it, and I know you're a good guy"
"...Thank you?", said Piotr, still not quite sure where Kurt was going with this.
"But. If you break my sisters heart, or hurt her in any vay", said Kurt, standing to his full height, "I'll have to hunt you down and kick your ass".
To make his point, he shodd to look at Piotr in the eyes. It would have worked...had Kurt's eye level actually gone higher than Piotr's collarbone when pulled to his full height. Piotr blinked for a moment.
"O....kay", he said, surpressing a chuckle, "but I have no intention of harming Rogue, Kurt. So you will not have to..."
Piotr gave a muffled snort, trying to disguise it with a cough.
"Hunt me down and kick my ass". (2)
Kurt gave a nod, not apparently noticing that the only way he could ever HOPE of harming Piotr was if the huge mutant was knocked out cold....maybe. Rogue walked back in, carrying Imara's bottle, pausing to look at the pair suspiciously.
"What are you doing?"
"Just having a little talk, right, Piotr?", said Kurt, attempting to rest his elbow on Piotr's shoulder....and failing miserably.
"Yes....a little talk", said Piotr, blinking at Kurt again...what an odd furry person.
Rogue looked between them before shrugging, handing the bottle to Kurt.
"You try", she said, "she likes you"
Kurt sighed, handing Imara her bottle. Imara grabbed hold of it, before giggling, tossing it like a mini-projectile, hitting Kurt smack in the forehead.
"ACK!!", said Kurt, teleporting to the other side of the room, "THAT HURT!"
"This little baby bottle?", asked Piotr, holding it up with this thumb and forefinger.
"JA, 'that little baby bottle'!", said Kurt, "she did that on purpose!"
"But...she is just a baby", pointed out Piotr as Imara started to whimper, "oh look, she misses you"
Kurt grumbled under his breath, walking carefully over to Imara again. As soon as he was within grabbing reach, Imara grabbed his tail, giving it a sharp yank before putting it in her mouth, sucking on it.
"Get her off, get her off!!!", squeaked Kurt in terror, "come on guys, HELP!!"
Rouge sighed, shaking her head, carefully taking Kurt's tail out of Imara's mouth. Imara'slip trembled, before she started to scream, loudly. Rogue blinked, quickly stuffing Kurt's tail back in.
"HEY!", shouted Kurt.
"Sorry", said Rogue, "but she seems to like it"
Kurt winced.
"Did I mention she's teething?".
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"PIETRO!"
At the Brotherhood house, things were even worse. Pietro gave a squeak, diving behind Sidney.
"Don't let her find me!"
Before Sidney could ask him what he was going on about, Wanda stormed into the room, her eyes blazing.
"PIETRO!", she snapped, sending a hex to drag him out of his hiding place, "what the HELL did you tell Pyro?"
"I don't know what you're talking about, Sis..heh heh", said Pietro nervously.
"Yes you do", she said, "I saw a bunch of roses waiting for me in my room, with a note from that wacko Austrailian!"
"But I thought you liked him", said Pietro weakly.
"That's besides the point!", snapped Wanda, "I don't need you to make him send me things, my love life isn't THAT bad!"
"But, Wanda...", started Pietro.
"I don't want to hear it, don't do it again!", she snapped, storming out of the house, slamming the door behind her.
Pietro sighed.
"He wanted to send them", he said, then glanced at Sidney, "why am I always blamed?"
"Because you usually ARE to blame", pointed out Sidney with a smirk.
"Oh gee, thanks", said PIetro dryly.
"So", said Sidney, "how was your date with Crystal?"
"Well", said Pietro, looking hopefull, "she's stopped throwing things at me now....so I think we're getting somewhere"
Sidney blinked.
"Okey dokey", she said, before looking at her watch, shouting at the ceiling, "TOOD, get a move on, I need to get to rehersals!"
"I'm commin', I'm commin'", said Todd, hopping down the stairs, smiling at her, "you nervous?"
"Enough to puke", said Sidney, "solets go before I get any worse"
With that,she promptly marched out of the house, steering Todd forwards, leaving Pietro to ponder over his next move with Crystal...hopefully one that wouldn't end in a restraining order.
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Back at the mansion, Kurt had finally freed himself from Imara's mouth. Unfortunately, the only way the three teens could calm her afterwards was to play the 'no crying song'....which was begining to grate on everyone's nerves.
"For a three hour tour", sang Piotr, before groaning, "It is stuck in my head now!!"
"Ve can't turn it off", said Kurt, ""Evil baby hates me enough as it is"
Rogue frowned.
"Her name is NOT 'evil baby' and she isn't evil!".
"Think about it", said Kurt, "her parentage for a start, she has evil in her genes!".
"Please stop refering to the baby as 'evil", said Piotr, "babies are not evil"
He gave Kurt a gentle thwak across the head..unfortunately, Piotr's version of 'gentle' was enough to fell a small tree. Kurt hit the ground with a thunk, making Imara giggle happily.
"Hey!", said Rogue, "she likes it!".
"Of course she likes it!", said Kurt, rubbing his bruised head, "she's EVIL".
"Do it again!", said Rogue, with a grin.
"Oh thanks, sister dear", said Kurt saracstically before Piotr gave him another thwak, causing Imara to laugh again.
"Hey, it is making me be feeling better too", said Piotr smugly.(3)
Kurt growled, giving Piotr a shove. Or at least, he TRIED to give Piotr a shove. As he pushed against Piotr's side, he mearly skidded backwards from him. It was the equivalent of someone trying to push a brick wall. Piotr blinked.
"Was that the 'ass kicking' you warned me about?"
"I'm tired, okay?", muttered Kurt, crossing his arms.
"Did you threaten to beat up ma'h boyfriend?", growled Rogue.
Kurt blinked.
"Only a little"
"Don't do that!", said Rogue, pointing a warning finger at him, "or ah'll kick YOUR ass!".
"Sorry, Rogue", whimpered Kurt, backing away.
Rogue narrowed her eyes, before handing Imara to him.
"For that, you can change her!".
Kurt looked at his sister in horror, before sighing dejectedly, walking to the changer.
"Was that really nessesary?", asked Piotr.
"No", smirked Rogue, "but it's fun".
A few moments later, loud, German swearing could be heard. Kurt returned wet and smelly, holding a clean child.
"SHE PEED ON ME!".
"Oh...", said Rogue, then blinked, "she's never peed on me".
Kurt growled, handing Imara to his sister.
BAMF
Imara blinked, whimpering.
"Don't worry, Imara, he'll be back once he's got the smell out of his fur", said Rogue with a smirk.
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Stark Industries. One of the top-level robotics industries on the planet. Inside were some of the most safisticated machines, created by an elite team of geniuses.
"LET ME HAVE MY NOODLES YOU EVIL MICROWAVE!!!"
Well....almost.
A rather pathetic looking man with mousey brown hair was glaring at the microwave in the staff room. Tony Stark, on one of his 'funny turns' had called in an all nighter, and all heads in the department were called in. This man was hungry, all he wanted was some warm noodles, but now the microwave refused to open it's door.
"ARRRRRGHHHH!!!", screamed the man.
"Errr...Bruce?", said another man, clearing his throat, "it might be a good idea to calm down"
"CALM DOWN?", snapped Bruce, turning to glare at the speaker, "I'll show YOU calm, Reed. I am calm, CALM AS A OCEAN!!!"
"Err...", said Reed, "technically ocean's aren't all that..."
"CALM AS AN OCEAN!!!", screamed Bruce, his skin turning green.
"Bruce, Bruce!", said a woman, running in taking hold of Bruce's arms gently, "calm down. You don't want to be put on sobatical again, so you?"
"But the microwave...", started Bruce.
"Shh, so to your happy place", said the woman, then began humming 'ten green bottles'.
Bruce hummed with her, his skin going back to it's normal hue. The microwave gave a pleasant ding, releasing it's contents.
"There", smiled the woman, as Bruce happily grabbed his noodles, skipping off.
"Thanks, Sue", said the well-known Otto Octavius from the corner, "I was afraid I'd end up having to do it".
"Anytime", grinned Sue, "he's just like a child. Keep him content with the little things and he won't throw a tantrum"
"And destroy half of C block again", muttered Reed.
"People, people, settle", said Tony from his place at the head of the table, "we have a lovely night of brainstorming ahead. So...go to work"
"On what?", said Forge from where he'd been trying to avoid everyone in the corner of the room.
Tony blinked.
"What, on what?"
"What do you want us to work on?", asked Forge patiently.
"Nothing, who said anything about work", said Tony, swaying slightly.
"Tony....are you drunk again?", tried Reed.
"No", muttered Tony, then said even louder, "you're drunk. YOU'RE ALL DRUNK!"
"Not again", groaned Ocatvius, "I should have known something was wrong about this meeting"
"I should have guessed it when he told me to make sure I brushed my teeth", muttered Forge.
"There's an evening's dinner plans gone to waste, Dear", said Reed, looking at Sue.
Tony had been staring at the table for quite a while.
"Did you guys know there's a mark on this table in the shape of Lincon's pinkie finger?", he slurred.
"Ten green bottles, hanging on the wall, ten green bottles hanging on the wall", sang Bruce, rocking in his chair.
"What?", said Tony, before collapsing on the ground, "ahhh, why is everyone at a different angle, stand right, people!"
"Who's turn is it to take him back to get his stomach pumped?", sighed Reed.
Sue walked over to a cuboard, pulling out a sheet of paper.
"The rota says it's Connors".
"Curt isn't in yet", sighed Reed.
"Oh, fine, I'll take him", grumbled Otto, picking him up in his tenticles.
"Ooooh look, the world is spinning", slured Tony.
"I'll make the world spin for you if you pull this again", muttered Otto.
One by one, the scientists left, muttering about the evening they had just wasted. Forge sighed, heading back to his truck, walking into Curt Connors himself, for once not green and scaley...that was a good thing.
"Hi Curt, false alarm, Stark was drunk..again"
"Oh", came the reply, before Curt smirked, "actually, I wanted to talk to you"
"For the last time, Curt, NO, I won't let you have a second run of that 'limb regrowth' formulae of yours on me", said Forge with a sigh, "As much as I miss my arm, I really don't think Ororo would appreciate me coming home looking like a reject from The Land That Time Forgot"
"I bet she would if you asked her", said Curt, his features changing, "she's an odd one"
Forge blinked.
"Mystique? What the heck are you doing here?", he asked, then frowned, "look, there really, really isn't anything wrth stealing in there, unless you want some cold noodles that the Hulk's been chewing on".
Mystique smirked.
"I don't want to steal anything, I told you, I came to talk to you"
Forge frowned slightly.
"Okay, I'll bite...why?"
"Do I need a reason?", said Mystique stepping forward, looking at him through lowered eyelashes, "I just want , is all"
Forge blinked, quickly taking a step back.
"Whoah, whoah whoah", he said, hodling up his hands, where the heck had THAT come from?, "I really don't like the direction this conversation is going"
"Oh, come on", purred Mystique, "you can't tell me you're not even a little bit curious"
"I'm not even a little bit curious", said Forge evenly, turning to walk away, "my heart's already spoken for".
"Who said i was after your heart?", chuckled Mystique, "I only want a little bit of fun".
"Well I don't", replied Forge, "unlike SOME people, I can stay faithfull to the person I'm married to".
"Oh, yes, your little weather witch", smirked Mystique, "I can be her, you know, if that's what you want"
She morphed into Storm, walking in front of Forge and running a finger along his chest.
""I don't think you've explored the full potential of being with a shapeshifter", she said in Storm's voice.
"I told you i'm not interested" said Forge, bristling and swatting her hand away, "even if you can take her form, Raven, you can't hold a candle to Ororo".
"Poor, dependable, Forge", tutted Mystique as he tried to side-step past her, "like a royal puppy dog, doing whatever Storm tells you".
"You're pushing your luck", said Forge, narrowing his eyes, "I can assure you, I'm NOT the sort of person that you want mad at you. Now move out of the way".
Mystique shrugged, stepping aside.
"Awww", she pouted, "so it's a definate 'no' then".
"You catch on fast", said Forge sarcastically was he walked past.
"So.....not even for old times sake?", said Mystique, causing Forge to pause, turning to look at her, confused.
"Pardon?"
"Old times sake", Mystique repeated with a coy smile, "you know, a blast from your past?".
Forge furrowed his brow in coufsion, then blinkined in surpise as Mystique morphed into soemone he knew well.
"...Tyler?", he said, unerved by staring at the girlfriend he had in the 70's..as she looked back then, "Mystique..you're?...".
"You catch on fast", Mystique mimicked in Tyler's voice.
"No", said Forge shaking his head and turning to walk off, "you're just messing with me".
"And how, pray tell, would I know this completely random person?", said Mystique, "hey, don't you walk away from me, I haven't done talking to you yet!".
"Well I have", said Forge, not breaking his stride.
"Go ahead, vanish again!", said Mystique, "can you even contimplate the HELL I went through when you disapeared?".
"I'm sure you lived through it", said Forge.
"That's a lie and you know it", said Mystqiue following after him, "you've said yourself about watching Tyler, watching ME being so upset after you'd gone"
"That was before I knew she was you", said Forge.
"Why should it be a difference?!", snapped Mystique, "You broke my heart, Forge. And like it or not, you cared about me too once".
"No, I cared about Tyler", he said, "who turned out to be a lie. What were you after, Mystique? Secrets from my lab?"
"No!", said Mystique, "I was only young, for Gods sake, why is it so hard to believe that I was in it because I actually cared about you?".
"Because you couldn't tell the truth if you tried"., said Forge, narrowing his eyes.
"Well, I did with you", said Mystqiue, "the fact is, Forge, pain and simple, I loved you once, and I know loved me".
"I loved Tyler", corrected Forge, "that's past tense, Raven, and not you. You couldn't even tell me who you really were".
"Hey, I was scared!".
"So was I", said Forge, "and you just sat back when I worried about being the only one with powers back then, you can't say you didn't have the opportunity".
He frowned, crossing his arms.
"We done?, I want to get back to my WIFE".
"Fine, go", said Mystqiue with a wave of her hand, "I appologise for beingg truthfull. Just remember, Forge, Storm's always pass eventually, it's in thier nature to do so". (4)
Forge didn't reply, getting in his truck, driving off quickly. She sighed, watching him go, before walking the other way.
"You really, really should have stayed quiet, Raven", she told herself.
---
At the mansion, Kurt had finally got to his last straw. It had got to that point after Imara poked a spoonfull of baby food into his eye.
"That is it!!", said he snapped, "I have had enough. I have been peed on, bitten, had my hair pulled, had my tail sucked on, been treated like a plush toy, AND had things poked in my eye, NO MORE!".
Muttering under his breath, he started to march out of the room.
"Kurt".
Kurt stopped in his tracks.
"I don't vant to hear it Rogue".
"A'h didn't say anything!", said Rogue.
Kurt blinked, turning around.
"The vho said my name?"
"Kurt".
Kurt, Rogue and Piotr blinked at each other, before glancing down at Imara. She tlited her head to the side and giggled.
"Did she just.....", satarted Rogue
Imara clapped her hands, she was enjoying all this attention.
"Kurt", she said again, "Kurt, Kurt, Kurt".
Kurt's. Jaw. Dropped.
"That vas her first vord!!!", he said, hopping from foot to foot, "I'M her first vord. ME!!!!".(5)
"Why do I hear shouting?", shouted Storm, walking in, "you didn't have her for very long, geez...".
Rogue bounced like a manical thing, pointing at Imara.
"She...she SPOKE!!!!", she said excitedly, "she she opened her mouth and she SPOKE!!!"
Noticing her mother, Imara chose this as a WONDERFULL time to show off her new-found tallent.
"Kurt", she said, "Kurty, Kurty, Kurt, Kurt".
"Here that?", said Kurt, "not 'mommy', not 'daddy', not 'Evan', but KURT!".
"I'm not suprised", said Ororo, "she adores you"
She winced as Imara carried on babbling.
"The hard thing is gonna be getting her to shut up"
X-MEN, came Xavier's telepathic call suddenly, suit up, we have the Inner Circle's hideout
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(1) - An Ice Age moment.
(2) - From Friends. Ross made a similar threat to Chandler....it was met with much laugher...poor Ross.
(3) - Ice Age moment number two, last one, I promise.
(4) - This is a Cannon line. The last prediction Destiny made before she died was that Forge and Mystique would end up together, Forge, at the time, was still with Storm, and told the pre-cog this, the 'Storm's will pass' line was her reply
(5) - As seen in the Simpsons, it's always touched me, that episode.
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Bwahahahahahaha. THAT secret has been stewing in my subconsious for a long, long time. It feels good to finally let it out. Ahhh. Do review. Until next time....