Chapter 47: LAP
608 Sack Boulevard was not the type of place you would expect to find a party. It was a hole in the ground that Kirby would have otherwise considered dangerous.
The warpstar plunged downward and suddenly emerged into the strangest room Kirby had ever seen.
Right in front of him was a banner with LAP HQ written on it. Under that was another banner that said ICE DRAGON, MAY YOU REST AND FREEZE.
Kirby saw various interesting items around the room
Posters of King Dedede, Whispy Woods, Ice Dragon, Kracko, the Meta Clan and others around the walls, all with darts stuck in them.
Book shelves that were littered (literally) with books of all shapes, colors and sizes.
A giant rodent wheel.
Sticks that poked out of the walls to serve as perches.
A giant scratching post that was almost completely shredded.
A huge glass water tank that looked unsanitarily green.
A frayed ball of yarn.
Assorted computers.
A table covered in food.
A tipped-over trashcan with garbage spilling out.
A banner reading WHISPY WOODS, MAKE LIKE YOURSELF AND LEAF
A banner reading KRACKO, YOUR EYE'S GONNA CRY
A banner reading ADO, HERE'S A STROKE OF BAD LUCK
A banner reading KING, YOU SHOULD BE DEDEDEMOLISHED
A banner reading META CLAN, YOUR PREPARATION WILL LEAD YOU TO DAMNATION
Other banners with similar hate messages.
Glittering lights hanging from the gravel ceiling.
A desk covered with maps.
Seeds, nut shells and wrappers littering the ground.
Newspapers that were strewn all over.
More stuff than can be put in this getting-too-long list.
All the animals were there: the owl, the hamster, the cat, the little bird, and the fish. There was also an octopus. The octopus was what caught Kirby's attention. She was pink.
The animals immediately noticed Kirby had arrived.
The cat: "Hey! Kirby's here!"
The little bird: "He came!"
The fish: "Haven't seen you in a while."
The owl: "Welcome."
The hamster: "Join the party!"
The octopus: "So you're Kirby..."
The animals surrounded Kirby.
"Hello, everybody!" greeted Gooey from the phone.
"Hey, Gooey!" chirped Pitch excitedly.
"We have not properly introduced ourselves," said the owl. He then saluted. "Coo, navigator."
The cat: "Nago, ninja."
The hamster: "Rick, technician."
The fish: "Kine, mariner and aquanaut."
The little bird: "Pitch, spy."
The octopus: "Chuchu, uh... well... I'm new here..."
"What she means to say is," Rick explained, "she has just recently joined our..." he made a glance in Coo's direction, sizing up which term to use, "organization and she hasn't been assigned a specific post yet."
"I know!" said Chuchu suddenly. "Chuchu, doer of miscellaneous tasks."
"Whatever," said Kine.
Kirby just stood there for a moment, not knowing what to do. He had never spoken to more than three people at once. Six was twice that amount. Kirby couldn't move.
Gooey broke the silence. "Okay, you can finish the introductions now."
"We already did," chirped Pitch.
"No you haven't," Gooey persisted. "Are Pon and Con on a mission or something?"
The animals did not reply. Instead, they bowed their heads.
"They're not..." began Gooey, tentatively.
"They fought heroically to the end," said Nago.
"No..." Gooey gasped.
"Kirby," explained Rick, "there used to be eight of us. There was everyone here, not including Chuchu, plus three others."
"Pon, Con, and Professor Birdbrain," Coo recited.
"Yes," continued Rick. "Pon and Con were a raccoon and a fox, respectively. They were best friends and had the same position: warrior. But then the Meta Clan–"
"Lousy, stinkin' buggers," interjected Nago.
"–created a huge robot called HR. HR stood for... oh, I already said it: Huge Robot. It could also transform at will into Human and Eagle forms, giving it two names: HR-H and HR-E."
"What's a... hoomin?" asked Kirby, confused.
"Human, noun, a being of the species Homo sapiens," said Coo as though reading the definition from a book. "Ado was a human."
"Oh," said Kirby, still unsure what it really meant.
"As I was saying," Rick pushed on, "HR was built to destroy the protectors. It first targeted us, the LAP. Our two warriors, Pon and Con, tried to destroy it, but... it was too powerful. Their efforts bought us enough time to escape and hide. If they had not fought, we would not be here today. The died heroic deaths."
"What about HR?" whispered Kirby.
"Wham Bam Rock, the Stone-Shadow hybrid of the Combo-Elementals, destroyed it when it next went after them," said Nago. "I wish we had such power."
"At least we don't have the Combo-Elementals' job," commented Kine. "You remember what happened to the Whammer when the Meta Clan made the sun and moon fight."
Everyone but Kirby shuddered.
"What about Professor Birdbrain?" whispered Kirby.
"We lost him even before that," spat Kine. "He's a traitor. He eventually sided with the Meta Clan and has helped them on a few of their missions. He now goes by the name Captain Birdbrain. He piloted the spaceship that took them to the sun and the moon. He was also the captain on the great battleship Halberd."
"Anyone remember what position he had when he was with us?" asked Rick.
The animals looked at each other, but none of them knew.
"There must have been some reason we called him 'Professor'," encouraged Pitch.
Silence.
"Oh, forget him!" Nago burst out. "He's a traitor! He doesn't deserve to be remembered!"
"By the way," interrupted Kirby, "What does LAP HQ mean?"
"HQ is an acronym for HeadQuarters," Coo began.
"And LAP stands for League of Animals for Protection. That's the name of this organization," Rick finished.
"Oh," Kirby replied. "Uh... Pleased to meet you."
Kirby had never been to a party before. As stated many chapters back, he avoided occasions that involved large crowds. He had never even been to a birthday party, but this is because no one has a birthday in Dreamland.
This is due to the fact that the planet Pop Star, on which Dreamland is located, does not orbit any sun. Instead, the sun and moon orbit the planet. The moon is of normal size, but the sun is the same size as the moon and orbits opposite it, the same distance from Pop Star.
As I was saying, Kirby had never been to a party, so he didn't know what to do at one. He was a bit hungry, so he inhaled the entire contents of the buffet table, much to the dismay of the LAP who complained that he had eaten the last bits of their food. Kirby was trying to think of something to say when a familiar voice boomed down the entrance tunnel.
"Ah-ha! I found you, Kirby! I knew you would come here! And you, Rick! You thought you were so clever wrecking the Halberd, but we knew who you were! We traced you back here and found your connection with Kirby! I knew all along that Kirby must have been working for the LAP. Not only that, animals, it looks like your secret base isn't so secret anymore! Now if you do not all come out and surrender Kirby, I will be forced to destroy you!"
Guess who.
"Oh no! It's Meta Knight! What do we do?!" yelled Kirby.
"Quick! Down this way!" shouted Pitch from the wall. "There's a secret passage out over here!"
"You have five seconds!" boomed Meta Knight.
The LAP pounded on the wall beside Pitch.
"FOUR!"
The wall crumbled, revealing a tunnel.
"THREE!"
Rick and Nago entered the tunnel.
"TWO!"
Pitch and Kine entered the tunnel.
"ONE!"
"Bah!" Coo scoffed. "Ladies–"
A torrent of water plunged down into the room. Kirby was hit hard and slammed against a wall. He could hear Coo be swept down the tunnel with a shriek of "first!" and Chuchu emit a scream of pain as she smashed into something that shattered on impact, probably the aquarium.
The room was quickly filled with water. However, Kirby could breathe underwater, so he was okay. Octopuses can also breathe underwater, so Chuchu was okay.
Kirby swam to the tunnel and found that it had caved in. They were trapped.
Chuchu freaked out. "We're trapped! What do we do?! What do we do?! We're gonna die! We're gonna die!"
"No we're not," assured Kirby, not sounding quite certain.
Kirby looked toward the entrance of the room and saw Meta Drone float in.
"Affirmative," it said. "Kirby and Chuchu are trapped. Commencing with electrical surges."
A revving noise came from Meta Drone. It got faster and faster until– POW! Kirby felt a surge of pain as electricity surged through his body.
The revving noise had slowed again, but was quickening rapidly. Kirby saw that the blast had knocked out Chuchu. He had to save her from being hit again.
So, Kirby went for the one thing the Meta Clan hadn't counted on: his ability to breathe underwater. If they knew, why would they be using such a simple plan? Kirby inhaled the trashcan and shot it at Meta Drone before it could release more electrical current into the water.
"Kirby is fighting back," said Meta Drone after hitting the wall. "Retreat, retreat."
It went back up the entrance tube.
Kirby tried to come up with a plan. If he stayed where he was, he was a sitting duck. However, if he went back up the entrance tube, he would come face-to-masks with the Meta Clan. Suddenly, it came to him. Drill ability! Kirby summoned Needle and Stone to become Drill Kirby! He grabbed Chuchu and bored, diagonally upward, away from the Meta Clan.
He soon broke free on Ride Avenue and called Gooey for help with reviving Chuchu.