Disclaimer: I own nothing! weeps And I'm not making any money either. Can't you tell?

So... we last left a collapsed SELENE and MICHAEL on a riverbank, without a car. By some strange twist of fate, SELENE wakes up, hails a taxi, whose driver isn't at all surprised to see her lugging a dead-looking body, and asks him to take her to a dilapidated mansion of no interest whatsoever.

MICHAEL wakes to see ERIKA looming over him and smirking.

Michael: Hey, you're cute. What's your number?

Erika: 3 141 592 653 switchboard 589 793 extension 238.

Michael: staring in a confused manner Um... don't suppose you could write that down?

Erika: Yeah, sure. Oh, and by the way, you do realise that you've been kidnapped and dragged off to a remote mansion?

Michael: What?! mutters to himself In a few moments I'll open my eyes and be in my apartment. Either that or

(to "I'm Going Slightly Mad" by Queen:)

When the moon outside rises
And the meaning is oh so clear
One thousand and one yellow Death Dealers
Begin to dance in front of you - oh dear
Are they trying to tell you something ?
You're missing that one final screw
You're simply not in the pink my dear
To be honest you haven't got a clue
I'm going slightly mad
I'm going slightly mad
It finally happened - happened
It finally happened -
It finally happened - I'm slightly mad - oh dear !
Ha ha ha ha ha

I'm one shot short of a full mag
I'm not quite the shilling
One wave short of a shipwreck
I'm not my usual top billing
I'm coming down with a fever
Since that bastard bit me!
This kettle is boiling over
I think I'm a banana tree
Oh dear

I'm driving only three wheels these days
But my dear, how about you ?
I'm going slightly mad
I'm going slightly mad
It finally happened
It finally happened - oh yes
It finally happened - I'm slightly mad !
Just very slightly mad !
And there you have it !

Suddenly KRAVEN bursts in.

Kraven: WHAT IS THIS?! points to MICHAEL

Erika: It's a mortal O Great and Inteligent One Who Should Be An Elder But Isn't. And it's Selene's boyfriend. She's going to try and turn him.

KRAVEN has a small fit. MICHAEL, being a total wuss, jumps out the window.

SELENE enters just in time to see MICHAEL jump out the window.

Selene: WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO??! ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL MICHAEL?

Kraven: Me? Why in the name of the Elders would I want to kill your boyfriend?

Selene: My what? Erika, just WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN TELLING KRAVEN?

SELENE storms out and goes on a small rampage throughout the archives. She reads through the boring history of the war and suddenly remembers something:

Kraven: (during his little rant) ...And it's not like Lucien would want a human anyway, I mean come on. He's so, like, preoccupied with staying Incognito... (A/N: Doesn't this remind you of the school ditz? LOL)

Selene: (in archives, to "Incognito" by Enigma)

Incognito...

Like a shadow on the wall

If you come or if you go

Who you are, nobody knows

Can't get behind...incognito

You are capturing my mind

If I want, or if I don't

Not observed by the law

But still... incognito

Like a shadow on the wall

Free access around the world

Who you are, nobody knows

Eyes without face.... incognito.

As SELENE comes to a decision and strides out of the now trashed archive room, she collides with ERIKA

Erika: Um Selene....

Selene: Concentrate concentrate concentrate Concentrate concentrate concentrate Concentrate concentrate concentrate... Yes, what?

Erika: You trashed the archives, didn't you? And... (realisation dawns) YOU'RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE NEAR THAT CRYPT! I'LL STOP YOU IF IT'S TH-

She is cut off by SELENE throwng her into a wall.

Selene: You did try. At least Kraven won't be mad at you...much.